At his first AA meeting, Michael looked past seven older men in polyester plaid pants and recognized in their eyes the peace he had last known as a five-year-old sitting in the high grass of the Andes.
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Michael shares a funny, thoughtful Alcoholics Anonymous story about growing up gay in a loving and privileged family, spending his childhood in the Peruvian Andes, and becoming a periodic blackout drinker whose life narrowed into violence, loneliness, frightening situations, and serious mental health crises. He arrived at AA intending to get out of trouble rather than stop drinking, immediately judged the seven older men in the room, and then realized he was the most prejudiced person there. What kept him coming back was the unmistakable peace in their eyes. Michael describes the difference between reading about life and living it, memorizing the Twelve Steps and finally taking them, and gradually learning that prayer could mean putting his beliefs into action. With 21 years of sobriety, a writing career, enduring relationships, a young daughter, service in Madison’s AIDS community, and a fellowship that helped him face profound grief, Michael shows how AA returned him to humor, love, usefulness, and the feeling that he belonged.
Michael B. from Madison, WI speaking at the 11th Gay/Lesbian Live & Let Live Roundup in Kansas City, MO - September 1st 1991
Recording note: The tape slows down near the end, causing Michael’s voice to sound deeper and distorted.
Music: Deep by KaizanBlu