Social Skills Coaching

Recent research on the topic of social jerks by Janina Steinmetz suggests that many of us perform several actions that make us look like a jerk deliberately due to a mistaken belief that it makes us look better.

This implies that our “best behavior” might be exactly what’s making other people feel like we’re jerks. We’ll go over the four behaviors the study pinpoints as behaviors of jerks and how to avoid each of them. Backhanded compliments. Humblebrag. Hypocrisy. Hubris.

Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes

Visit the podcast on Captivate.fm at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home

Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting

For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home

For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg

Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.lyImprovePeopleSkills

#BackhandedCompliment #BeliefPolice #Hubris #Humblebrag #Humblebragging #Hypocrisy #JaninaSteinmetz #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #ImproveYourPeopleSkills #RussellNewton #NewtonMG

Captivating people usually refers to telling a story that leaves them listening like children (in a good way). Storytelling is a big topic that is often made overly complex, but there are many ways of creating this feeling in small, everyday ways. To captivate others is no easy feat, but the material and ability lies within all of us. We just have to know where it is and how to access it.

An easy way to imagine everyday storytelling is that your life is a series of stories—mini-stories, to be exact. Instead of giving one-word answers, get into the habit of framing your answers as a story with a point. It creates more engagement, lets you show your personality, and allows for smoother conversation. The bonus here is that you can prepare these before a conversation.

The 1:1:1 method of storytelling is to simplify it as much as possible. The impact of a story won’t necessarily be stronger if it is ten sentences versus two sentences. Therefore, the 1:1:1: method focuses on the discussion and reaction that occurs after a story. A story can be composed solely of (1) one action, (2) one emotion to be evoked, and (3) a one-sentence summary. Don’t get lost rambling, and also make sure your listener feels that they are fully participating in the conversation.

Better Small Talk: Talk to Anyone, Avoid Awkwardness, Generate Deep Conversations, and Make Real Friends By Patrick King

Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/BetterSmallTalk

Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes

Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting

For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home

For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg

#Captivating #FrancisFordCoppola #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #SocialSkillsCoaching #Storytelling #BetterSmallTalk

Reactions are important. People say and do things for a reason, and it’s usually to get a reaction. This step is deceptively simple yet difficult. Pay attention to other people and ask yourself what emotion they want to evoke. Then give it to them. Don’t take too long to reply, but being too quick isn’t advisable either. This is all to make others feel that you are present and engaged.

The Art of Witty Banter: Be Clever, Quick, and Magnetic By Patrick King

Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes

Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/WittyBanterKing

For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting

For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home

For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg

#Anger #psychological #react #reaction #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #TheArtofWittyBanter #Conversation

The SCAMPER method from Bob Eberle stands for seven techniques that help direct thinking toward innovative ideas and solutions: (S) substitute, (C) combine, (A) adapt, (M) minimize/magnify, (P) put to another use, (E) eliminate, and (R) reverse. Collectively, these techniques are based on the idea that you can come up with something new by simply modifying the old things already present around you.

Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/rapid-idea

Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/self-growth-home

Peter Hollins is a bestselling author, human psychology researcher, and a dedicated student of the human condition. Visit https://bit.ly/peterhollins to pick up your FREE human nature cheat sheet: 7 surprising psychology studies that will change the way you think.

For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home

For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg

#BobEberle #magnify #reverse #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PeterHollins #SCAMPER #eliminate #combine #adapt

Sometimes people either aren’t willing to engage or not good at opening up themselves. You can blast past this by using forms of elicitation, in which you put forth a topic or question in a way that a person will feel compelled to engage or elaborate.

These take the form of prompting the person to reply to your recognition, encouraging mutual complaining, assisting your naiveté, and correcting your incorrect assumption or information.

Better Small Talk: Talk to Anyone, Avoid Awkwardness, Generate Deep Conversations, and Make Real Friends By Patrick King

Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/BetterSmallTalk

Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes

Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting

For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home

For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg

#AvoidAwkwardness #naïveté #Ellen Naylor #recognition #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #WinLossAnalysis #BetterSmallTalk #naivete #Elicitation

You know those people who always have something clever or witty to say? Ever wonder how they cultivated this seemingly magical quality? If you have, know that being witty is much easier than you might think, and you don t have to be born with the gift of gab.

By following certain tricks and techniques, you can develop the same persona yourself.

The first element to tackle is conversational flow and keeping a back and forth going. The first trick in the book is to never speak in absolutes. Eliminate questions and statements involving words like favorite, absolute, only, worst, etc., from your vocabulary. If you ask someone “what s your absolute favorite movie?”, you are actually asking a pressurized question that introduces pause and destroys flow.

Instead, always generalize your questions by putting boundaries and constraints on them. This doesn't require as much thought from your conversational partner, allowing them to simply answer a question with a range of responses instead of being caught looking for the one “right” answer.

The Art of Witty Banter: Be Clever, Quick, and Magnetic By Patrick King

Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes

Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/WittyBanterKing

For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting

For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home

For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg

#BoraBora #DavidLetterman #ForrestGump #LateShow #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #TomHanks #Transform #WittyBanter #Flow #TheArtofWittyBanter

The first and foremost aspect about reforming your toxic habits is to realize that you might actually be making people feel unsafe and uncomfortable yourself.

That is a startling realization, but it happens more than we think in daily life. For instance, picture a coworker who doesn’t take criticism very well and you feel the need to walk on eggshells around them. Or consider someone who cannot regulate or manage their own emotions and appears to randomly burst into tears on a consistent basis. Or even someone who judges others and constantly calls them stupid behind their backs. How do you feel being around this kind of energy? It’s not a stretch to say that you’d simply start avoiding these folks.

At the root, people just need to feel like they can be themselves around you, and that they have nothing to fear and no reason to have their guards up. For instance, do people feel like they can be themselves next to a wild bear? No, they will be tense and uncomfortable because there is a sense of unpredictability and imminent danger. People feel like they can be themselves next to a fuzzy white bunny rabbit.

Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes

Visit the podcast on Captivate.fm at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home

Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting

For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home

For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg

Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.lyImprovePeopleSkills

#SafeHarbor #ReformYourself #ToxicHabits #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing

What determines whether you hit it off with someone? It’s not circumstantial; rather, it’s a matter of you taking charge and setting the tone to be friendly and open. Most people treat others like strangers and thus won’t become friends. So change that script from the very beginning, put people at ease and let them be comfortable around you.

The first way to set the tone is to speak like friends: topic-wise, tone-wise, and even privacy-wise. People will go along with the tone you set as long as you aren’t outright offensive. A powerful aspect of this is showing emotion as friends do, instead of filtering yourself and putting up a wall for the literal purpose of keeping people insulated at a distance. And stop being so darned literal and serious. A conversation does not have to be about sharing facts, and some comments can be used solely for the purpose of seeing how the other person will react.

Another aspect of setting the right tone is to search for similarities and also allow the opportunity to create them. When people observe similarity, they instantly open up and embrace it because it is a reflection of themselves. There are only good assumptions and connotations, so we should actively seek them out. You can do this by digging more deeply into people’s lives and asking questions to find seemingly unrelated similarities, divulging more information yourself, and also mirroring them physically. Also, don’t discount the value of mutual dislike—it’s not negative to talk about negative things, per se.

Better Small Talk: Talk to Anyone, Avoid Awkwardness, Generate Deep Conversations, and Make Real Friends By Patrick King

Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/BetterSmallTalk

Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes

Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting

For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home

For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg

#similarity #BetterSmallTalk #Mirroring #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing

Communication can be divided into two categories: overt and covert. Overt is the words we say and the explicit messages we want to convey. This is when we directly tell someone that we’re hungry and ask for a hamburger.

Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes

Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/likability-promo

For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting

For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home

For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg

#Champagne #Chaney #EmpiricalStudy #Ferris #Lyden #Nonverbal #Inference #SubtextualCommunication #ImpressionManagement #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PeterHollins

Emotional intelligence is the other aspect of self-awareness, and it is more or less understanding emotions—first of yourself and secondly of others. Daniel Goleman’s conception of emotional intelligence consists of self-awareness (what do I feel and why), self-management (how can I express my emotions safely and learn from them), self-motivation (what makes me happy, and how can I achieve that), social awareness (what are other people feeling and why), and relationship management (how to resolve problems as a result of understanding people’s emotions and motivations). The whole process begins with understanding yourself and then realizing that everyone else has the same amount of unconscious and hidden thoughts that dictate their emotions and actions.

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Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes

Visit the podcast on Captivate.fm at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home

Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting

For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home

For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg

Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.lyImprovePeopleSkills

#Awareness #Charlotte #DanielGoleman #EdwardLThorndike #EI #EmotionalIntelligence #RichardBoyatzis #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #selfawareness #selfmanagement #selfmotivation #understanding #WaynePayne #ImprovePeopleSkills