Something Shifted | Stories of Identity, Loss and Life Transitions

Year-end brings with it feelings of nostalgia and reflection. And while lifequakes are big events that permanently alter the course of a life, we want to recognise the smaller shifts and shakes - tremors, if you will, that sent us on a detour.

This episode is a compilation of 12 short stories, from 12 different people, who each experienced a tremor before Christmas.

Plus, since so many have asked, I have an update on Zoe too.

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Kamini Pather

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Melissa Botha

Terence Mentor

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Josh Prinsloo

Ross Symons

Gathoni Ngumba Listen to Something Shifted: The Soundtrack on Spotify

Tanya has struggled to breathe since the day she was born.

From viral infections to lung disease, Tanya was diagnosed with bronchiolitis obliterans. The narrowing of Tanya's airways could not be reversed by medication. Considering the diagnosis and years of health challenges, she got on with living her life.

By 2017, Tanya had just 14% lung capacity, and became the first patient to receive a bi-lateral lung transplant in a state hospital in Africa.

For the first time in her life, Tanya’s lung capacity reached 80% and she lived her life with renewed appreciation.

Everything changed six years after the operation when Tanya Bothma was diagnosed with chronic rejection.

Tanya's story helps us understand the life-changing impact of organ transplants and the emotional toll of waiting for another.

This episode emphasizes hope, community support, and the strength that emerges from life's adversities.

QUOTES:

'I knew that I had to fight for my family, and I needed to fight for my little girl, and I needed to fight for my hubby. And lastly, I really needed to fight for my parents. That was my only alternative, that was my only option, that's all I could do.'

'I cannot thank my organ donor enough because this woman has allowed me to watch my daughter grow up and be with my family every day.'

'I always say my organ donor is my hero, but at the same time, the medical team is also my hero and the Lord above is my hero.'

GUEST: Tanya Bothma

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Zuraida was the last person to see her dad alive. The last person to speak to him. She was also the last person to comfort him. She was 13 years old.

This traumatic event affected her deeply, leading to feelings of abandonment and a tendency towards hyper-independence.

Zuraida discusses how her grief impacted her career and influenced her parenting style. She speaks freely about the importance of open communication and emotional expression with her children, contrasting it with her own upbringing, which was characterized by silence.

Zuraida Jardine is a beloved South African media personality and over the course of her career, has had an audience with the likes of Beyoncé, Will Smith, Sir Anthony Hopkins, Ryan Gosling, Shaquille O'Neal, and many more.

But enrolling in university at the age of 40 and breaking the generational cycle is what she is most proud of.

Zuraida holds three degrees and numerous certifications to her name, and she continues to pursue higher education.

This story highlights themes of resilience, the impact of trauma on personal growth, and the transformative power of sharing one's story.

QUOTES:

'I am a huge proponent of not being a victim. My dad's passing could easily have made me a victim, but it didn't because I chose for that not to happen."

"I use to write letters to my mom all the time because I just did not feel heard."

GUEST: Zuraida Jardine

https://www.zuraidajardine.com

https://www.instagram.com/zuraidajardine/ Listen to Something Shifted: The Soundtrack on Spotify

Sean shares his personal journey through a lifequake, detailing the challenges and transformations that come with raising a child with profound disabilities. He reflects on a critical incident involving his daughter Zoe, the emotional turmoil of hospital visits, and the lessons learned about resilience, empathy, and the importance of community support. The conversation emphasizes the profound shifts in perspective that can arise from unexpected life events and the ongoing journey of personal growth and empowerment.

QUOTES:

"Seven minutes changed our reality."

"Watching Zoe's chest rise and fall as I breathed life into her body is something I can't unsee."

"It starts with one more breath."

CHAPTERS:

Introduction to Life Quakes (00:00:00)

Sean introduces the concept of "life quakes" and shares his personal story.

First Aid Training Experience (00:01:41)

Sean recalls his first job teaching swimming and the importance of first aid training.

Zoe's Medical Emergency (00:04:27)

A pivotal moment when Zoe stops responding during bath time, leading to panic and action.

Rushing to the Hospital (00:05:24)

Sean describes the tense drive to the hospital, filled with silence and worry.

Emergency Room Experience (00:06:54)

Sean and his partner navigate the emergency room, anxiously waiting for news about Zoe.

Life in the Hospital (00:10:37)

Sean reflects on the challenges and routine of spending 50 days in the hospital.

Understanding Zoe's Diagnoses (00:11:59)

Sean discusses Zoe's profound disabilities, including epilepsy and developmental delays.

Zoe's Resilience and Growth (00:13:33)

Sean shares how Zoe's determination inspires hope and joy despite challenges.

Looking Ahead to Season Three (00:14:46)

Sean outlines the upcoming season's focus on significant life shifts and personal transformations. Listen to Something Shifted: The Soundtrack on Spotify

Join me for the new season of Something Shifted, the podcast that asks some of South Africa’s most interesting people to share how significant life shifts, perceived as devastating, can lead to profound personal transformation and empowerment.

Something Shifted with Sean Loots leans into the joy and discomfort of unexpected change, and tries to answer the question of what it takes to bounce back.

Something changes your life today. How will it shift your life tomorrow?

What does it take to conquer the new path?

Listen to heartfelt conversations every other week and become part of a community that believes in the power of possibility!

Get ready for all of the feels. Season three starts November 2024. Listen to Something Shifted: The Soundtrack on Spotify

Zola Nene shares her journey of leaving law to pursue a career in the culinary arts, overcoming imposter syndrome, and finding joy in her work.

She discusses the impact of her parents on her mindset and the inspirations that shaped her. Zola also reflects on her experiences with Gordon Ramsay and the significance of her cookbooks. Tune in for a heartfelt reflection on the significance of personal satisfaction and evolution in one's life path.

Quotes from Zola:

"I've taken opportunities and made the best of them"

"Seeing somebody who genuinely loved what they did, I understood what that meant, and I grew up knowing that that was possible.

"I want to leave a legacy behind. Even long after I'm gone, the books and the recipes exist, being passed down through generations."

https://www.zolanene.com

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CHAPTERS

Imposter Syndrome (00:00:59) Zola Nene discusses her experience with imposter syndrome and how she overcame it.

Decision to Quit Law (00:02:30) Zola Nene reflects on her decision to quit law school and pursue a career in the culinary arts.

Influences and Inspirations (00:03:38) Zola Nene talks about the inspirations that have shaped her, including her parents' work ethic and their support for her career change.

Interest in Culinary Arts (00:05:27) Zola Nene shares her shift from studying law to her interest in food and cooking, leading to her decision to pursue a career in culinary arts.

First Job in the UK (00:08:31) Zola Nene describes her first job as a commis chef in the UK and how it prepared her for her career in the culinary industry.

On Set with Gordon Ramsay (00:10:47) Zola Nene talks about her experience working with Gordon Ramsay on Uncharted, sharing her culture and the positive connection they formed.

Cooking with Gordon Ramsay (00:14:18) Zola Nene shares her experience of cooking with Gordon Ramsay in front of a hippo, including the potential danger and the dramatic moments on set.

Managing Future Commitments (00:17:10) Zola Nene and Sean Loots discuss making decisions based on how they will feel in the future, and the pressure of declining social and work invitations.

Pride in Cookbook Awards (00:22:01) Zola Nene expresses her pride in winning cookbook awards and the significance of leaving a food legacy through her recipes.

Watching Kids Open Gifts (00:23:53) Zola Nene shares the joy of watching her niece and nephew open gifts at Christmas. Listen to Something Shifted: The Soundtrack on Spotify

Do you think your co-workers have high or low emotional intelligence? What can we learn about EQ from someone that grew up in a communal home?

Theran Knighton-Fitt grew up in a home filled with love, support and more people than the average preschool class.

Theran's formative years clearly impacted how he leads his life and the work he does at Mygrow, an online employee wellness platform that drives personal growth.

In this episode of Something Shifted, Theran explains that emotional intelligence is a set of skills that helps manage oneself and interactions with others effectively. EQ involves self-management, relationships with others, decision-making, and stress handling. Core beliefs, values and personal narratives can play a significant role in the development of emotional intelligence.

Theran also shares his view on engaging with AI.

Quotes from Theran Knighton-Fitt:

"It was a complex and complicated childhood that has formed me in so many different ways."

"Emotional intelligence is so much broader than the average understanding."

"So much of the work we do at Mygrow is restorative, it is rehabilitation work to try and undermine some of the self-beliefs and narratives that we have of ourselves."

https://mygrow.me

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Growing Up in a Communal Home (00:00:43) Theran's childhood experiences in a communal home in South Africa and the family's relocation plans.

Influence of Childhood on Emotional Intelligence (00:02:12) The impact of Theran's upbringing on his life and work in emotional intelligence.

Understanding Emotional Intelligence (00:05:06) Theran's explanation of emotional intelligence, its definition, and the broad involvement of emotions in various life areas.

Core Beliefs and Emotional Intelligence (00:09:43) The role of core beliefs in the development of emotional intelligence and their impact on identity and narratives.

Neuroscience and Emotional Response (00:13:25) Theran's explanation of the amygdala's role in associating past experiences with present situations and its impact on emotional responses.

The Importance of Belief and Support (00:16:25) Theran's perspective on the importance of having someone who believes in us, as seen through the lens of being a parent.

Restorative Work (00:20:16) Theran explains how the work at Mygrow is restorative and rehabilitative, aiming to address self-beliefs and identities developed in childhood.

Engaging with AI (00:21:39) Theran shares his approach to engaging with artificial intelligence and emphasizes the importance of maintaining human values and behaviors.

Emotional Sensitivity (00:24:19) Theran reflects on how exhaustion increases emotional sensitivity and the impact it has on feeling offended or misunderstood.

Recording Songs for Children (00:26:42) Theran expresses his desire to record the songs he wrote for his children, explaining the sentimental significance and meaning behind them. Listen to Something Shifted: The Soundtrack on Spotify

Bonus Episode: In this episode of "Something Shifted," Sean talks with Noa Belling, a psychotherapist and author of "Stress Less: Managing Anxiety in a Modern World."

Noa shares her expertise on stress management, particularly the benefits of writing as a tool to alleviate stress. She explains how jotting down thoughts and to-do lists can help clear the mind and address underlying emotions.

The episode serves as a practical guide for listeners to manage stress and improve mental clarity, with an invitation to explore more of Noa's stress relief strategies in her book and on the podcast.

Noa Belling's book Stress Less is available online and in all good bookstores now. Listen to Something Shifted: The Soundtrack on Spotify

Bonus Episode: In this episode of "Something Shifted," Sean welcomes Noa Belling, a psychotherapist and author of "Stress Less: Managing Anxiety in a Modern World."

Noa discusses the brain's negativity bias and offers strategies to counteract it, such as focusing on positive aspects of our lives and engaging in acts of kindness. She suggests practical exercises like soaking up positive experiences and placing hands on the chest to foster positivity.

The episode aims to provide listeners with tools to manage stress. Noa Belling's book Stress Less is available online and in all good bookstores.

https://noabelling.com Listen to Something Shifted: The Soundtrack on Spotify

Bonus Episode: Listen to Noa Belling, a psychotherapist and author of "Stress Less: Managing Anxiety in a Modern World" take you from anxious to calm.

Noa shares a quick stress relief exercise focusing on present-moment awareness by engaging the senses and adjusting posture. She explains how this practice can enhance mental clarity and resourcefulness by tapping into the brain's prefrontal cortex.

Find Noa Belling's book Stress Less online and in all good bookstores now.

https://noabelling.com Listen to Something Shifted: The Soundtrack on Spotify