In episode 12, Kayla Lords touches on one of the most important topics in the D/s and BDSM lifestyle – safety. From alcohol to safewords, she explains her views on what it means to play safe during a scene or whenever you decide to get kinky.

In this episode:

* After enough time together, Kayla and John Brownstone rarely discuss safety anymore but it does come up from time to time.

* They follow Safe, Sane, and Consensual but there’s also RACK and PRICK

* Intoxication from alcohol or drugs and kink don’t mix – at least for Kayla.

* If you can’t drive a car after a few drinks, you definitely should pick up a flogger, tie up your submissive, or anything else that could cause harm if you screw up.

* Safewords aren’t the only way to stay safe during a scene.

* Dominants need to watch their submissives closely and read their body language and other non-verbal cues.

* Sometimes, it’s not possible to say “Red” or whatever safeword you use.

* A Dominant needs to use his/her best judgement and err on the side of safety and caution, especially if your partner is new to you.

* John Brownstone kept going when Kayla couldn’t speak properly because he used the rest of the signals and cues she was giving him.

* Bottom line: A safeword isn’t a fail safe. Dominants can’t just rely on a spoken word.

Reference Links:

Risk Aware Consensual Kink or RACK

Personal Responsibility, Informed Consensual Kink or PRICK

Got a question or topic suggestion? Feel free to contact Kayla or John directly. You’ll receive a personal response and may hear your question or suggestion on a future episode!

Listen on YouTube

Full Transcript:

You’re listening to Loving BDSM podcast: episode 12. Today, let’s talk a little about staying safe when you get kinky! Hey, everybody. Kayla Lords here. Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this is your first time listening, glad to have you! If you’re back for another week, welcome back! Loving BDSM is produced every Friday for your kinky pleasure and education and show notes are found at kaylalords.com. Come back often and feel free to add the podcast to your favorite RSS feed or iTunes. If you love what you hear, we’d love a good review on iTunes to help other kinksters find us! You can follow me on Twitter @KaylaLords or stalk John Brownstone at southernsirsplace.com. All links are in the show notes. Now, let’s get into the show.

Safe, sane, and consensual – sound familiar? Many kinksters, John Brownstone and myself included, subscribe to this philosophy in BDSM. There are others: Risk Aware Consensual Kink (RACK) and Personal Responsibility, Informed Consensual Kink (ironically, PRICK). It’s all about being self-aware and understanding the risk when you’re getting kinky. For me, safe, sane, and consensual fits that definition. Whichever you prefer, as long as you play safe, that’s all that really matters.

Twice in the past few days, the issue of safety has come up between Daddy and myself. We consider our play safe at all times simply because we trust in the other to let us know when something is wrong or to stop all play when necessary. But for safety to be something to discuss at all is rare – at least at this point in our relationship.

The first was during a discussion about visiting a local club that caters to both swingers and kinksters.