Episode 59 - Censuses and Couplets

The Client Corthinos the Perplexed of the Placaters of Planetary Puzzles is requesting assistance due to the increasingly puzzling planets created by Stellar Firma Ltd. making it impossible to placate their deeply confused owners.

Management Consultants’ advice: deploy the Puzzlemaster, bake the active yeast, eat the chard, designatory japes, bring the knowledge bus pass, PUZZLEDOG!, pack your jorts, embarrass your way to success, hide things in hair, eat the pretzel of death.

Content Warning for:

• Emotional abuse
• Bullying / taunting
• Alcoholism
• Discussions of: arson & burns
• Mentions of: childhood trauma, death & mass mortality, explosions, suggested animal death, self-harm & needles, self-recrimination.

Transcript: https://cutt.ly/7j5Jf2s

Special thanks to Qalmlea for this episode's Brief Submission and this week's Patrons: NicoleK, Micheala Poppell, Rebecca Rutherford, Mira Morning, freesnakepoems, Lind Berget, Erica Eagles, Max, Lucy Jansen, Ray Morello, Amanda F., the war over pineapple on pizza is a distraction from the elder gods, TimonTomato, Aroara N, Morgan, Nadeem Cassander, Fiona Cartwright, Meg Petz, LocalDogMom, Alana Haber, Emily Peterson, Sam Blackman, bluehatted, Sam Toby, man door hand hook car door, Lindsey Johnson, Marg McGinnis, Arthur Stjerne, Sam Vest, Jessi Pitts, Emily Apples, Maria Lund, timkonbart, Shell Stowell, fromgloriousjupiter, indiana elepaio, Cerulean Cheesecake, Eli Davis, Sophie Sloane, Laura, Aiden Parziani, Angela Spatz, Simon Panitpakdi Jones, Ian Doherty, Amy Wain, braxxyn, Feather, Kira S, Stag.

If you'd like to join them be sure to visit www.patreon.com/rustyquill

Created by Tim Meredith and Ben Meredith

Produced by Katie Seaton

Executive Producer Alexander J Newall

Performances:

I.M.O.G.E.N: Imogen Harris

David 7: Ben Meredith

Trexel Geistman: Tim Meredith

Editing: Maddy Searle

Music: Samuel DF Jones

Artwork: Anika Khan

Mastering: Jeffrey Nils Gardner

Featured SFX: unfa, JarredGibb, ftpalad, aabbccddee, sirTmoney & previously credited artists via freesound.org. Original Foley by Maddy Searle.

Additional music:

Stay The Course by Kevin MacLeod

Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/5048-stay-the-course

License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Subscribe using your podcast software of choice or by visiting www.rustyquill.com/subscribe and be sure to rate and review us online; it really helps us spread across the galaxy.

Check out our merchandise, available at https://www.redbubble.com/people/RustyQuill/shop and https://www.teepublic.com/stores/rusty-quill.

Join our community:

WEBSITE: www.rustyquill.com

FACEBOOK: www.facebook.com/therustyquill/

TWITTER: @therustyquill

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 58 - Ecology and External Assistance

The client, Goral Throgmar of the Construct-A-Creature corporation, is requesting legal assistance due to mounting complaints against them for creating “monstrosities” that are “killing people”. The bailiffs are on the way to take their eyes.

Management Consultants’ advice: lie about your address, reframe the debate, corporate bonding monstrosity, be a turgid plant, utilise the googly eyes, hot slap pyramid.

Content Warning for:

• Emotional abuse
• Bullying/taunting  
• Shouting  
• Emotional manipulation & gaslighting
• Discussions of: body horror (including animal)
• Mentions of: murder, alcohol consumption, plastic surgery, animal attack, eye trauma (threatened), physical violence, injury, arson.

Transcript: https://cutt.ly/TjLruxE

Special thanks to Adam Honeyman for this episode's Brief Submission and this week's Patrons: Katie McLean, incorrigible_worksop, Sam Lueke, Delta Psy, Tired Naiad, Yael Zombie, Elizabeth Almasy, Angelika Agbayani, David Niemczyk, Harmoni Kauffman, Layne Woodward, Jacc, N, Rahlly, Michelle Scarcella, connanro, Diego Henriquez, Erica, Julie Fricker, apthemagician, Zacharias Buchanan, Kathryn Sullivan, LYJun, Jordan Patton, Sophia Stasevic, Dominic Moffchiedoytiss, Liz McAnder, Juliana Scherzer, Jojoiter, 104 Tarsiers, Jara257, kendal, Kiwisheep, Renata, Devin Taylor, Emily Tucker, I should be asleep, melekinh, Kaley Bales, Vincent & Amelia, Emma Baker, Emily, here's how Web!Martin can still win, TheFool, Liv Stormborn, Nicole Just Kidding, Marika Rainey, Emily Diaz, Avah Willard, Anabel (latt). 

If you'd like to join them be sure to visit www.patreon.com/rustyquill.

Created by Tim Meredith and Ben Meredith

Produced by Katie Seaton

Executive Producer Alexander J Newall

Performances:

I.M.O.G.E.N: Imogen Harris

David 7: Ben Meredith

Trexel Geistman: Tim Meredith

Enola: Helen Gould

Editing: Maddy Searle

Music: Samuel DF Jones

Artwork: Anika Khan

Mastering: Jeffrey Nils Gardner

Featured SFX by FunWithSound, cabaret, Landau00, sagetyrtle, mickdow & previously credited artists via freesound.org. 

Subscribe using your podcast software of choice or by visiting www.rustyquill.com/subscribe and be sure to rate and review us online; it really helps us spread across the galaxy.

Check out our merchandise, available at https://www.redbubble.com/people/RustyQuill/shop and https://www.teepublic.com/stores/rusty-quill.

Join our community:

WEBSITE: www.rustyquill.com

FACEBOOK: www.facebook.com/therustyquill/

TWITTER: @therustyquill

EMAIL: [email protected]

Stellar Firma is a podcast distributed by Rusty Quill Ltd. and Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial Sharealike 4.0 International Licence

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 57 - Histrionics and High-Handedness

The client, Zeith Fel, is looking for ideas for new productions for The Diabolical Flotilla Actors’ Guild to tour in the upcoming season. She has found that audiences are dwindling for their tours across the galaxy (entirely unconnected to the entirely justifiable destructive actions of Stellar Firma) and are in need of a hit.

Management Consultants’ advice: a roster of updated “classics”, react to the pretend, pretend real knives, historical re-enactment, shattered bums, execute the fool, sexy wedding, the end?

Content Warning for: 

• Emotional abuse
• Bullying / Taunting
• Innuendo
• Shouting
• Knives & self-injury (stabbing, including SFX)
• Mentions of: cults, manipulation & gaslighting, childhood trauma, mind-altering substances, mass mortality & environmental apocalypse, executions & gun violence.

Transcript: https://cutt.ly/ejRoYod

Special thanks to vi for this episode's Brief Submission and this week's Patrons: Emmie Knobloch, ludmila schmidt, Matt1344, C-J Saunders, Myshe, Katie Stonestreet, Zoe Payne, Rebecca Field, Taga, Tamsin Myers, Conrad Schaffer Vignati, Jelka Dirksen, sleepy pigeon, Leona Maron, mo, officialspec, Maria x Zhao, Eb Mitchell, Isabel Taylor, cecilfae, Heather Cartwright, Zoe Prescott, Grace Holsten, Jessica Willmore, Beth Carter, Sarah, Null Strolight, Crystal Wang, Noah S Brown, Laura A., Dave, Trinkit, it is a mystery, Ashley S., Anna Laurie, Corina Bantum, flipwizardmcgay, Alexi Bailey, Mikki S., Emma Scrivens., Ebeth, Jordan Whiteley, Jane, Vee, Katherine Carlsrud, Wizard Perry, Abigail Bokun, Leanne Payson, MAX, Ingeborg Pedersen.

If you'd like to join them, be sure to visit www.patreon.com/rustyquill.

Created by Tim Meredith and Ben Meredith

Produced by Katie Seaton

Executive Producer Alexander J Newall

Performances:

I.M.O.G.E.N: Imogen Harris

David 7: Ben Meredith

Trexel Geistman: Tim Meredith

Number 1: Amy Dickinson

Number 48: Rachel Meredith

Editing: Maddy Searle and Michelle Snow

Music: Samuel DF Jones

Artwork: Anika Khan

Mastering: Jeffrey Nils Gardner

Featured SFX:

johnvand, FunWithSound, artefakt, geodylabs, 16FPanskaVyskocil_Tom, Benboncan, giddster, rsellick, Podcapocalipsis & previously credited artists via freesound.org. Original Foley by Maddy Searle.

Subscribe using your podcast software of choice or by visiting www.rustyquill.com/subscribe and be sure to rate and review us online; it really helps us spread across the galaxy.

Check out our merchandise, available at https://www.redbubble.com/people/RustyQuill/shop and https://www.teepublic.com/stores/rusty-quill.

Join our community:

WEBSITE: www.rustyquill.com

FACEBOOK: www.facebook.com/therustyquill/

TWITTER: @therustyquill

REDDIT: www.reddit.com/r/RustyQuill/

EMAIL: [email protected]

Stellar Firma is a podcast distributed by Rusty Quill Ltd. and Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial Sharealike 4.0 International Licence.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 56 - Proselytising and (some) Progress

The client, the Gademy Academy For Scholarly Hollers, is looking for budget and spending advice (ideally yelled) to help with their financial difficulties.

Management Consultants’ advice: Not being a weak-necked fool; aggressively loud fonts; traditional organic unassisted yelling; more spartinacity; unclear pamphlets; misleading signs.

Content Warning for:

• Emotional Abuse
• Bullying/Taunting
• Shouting
• Innuendo
• Mentions of: cults, existential crisis, attempted murder, blood, bombs, food, arson, threats of violence, alcoholism, death threats.

Transcript: https://cutt.ly/ijgpgqC

Special thanks to Fleuranna for this episode's Brief Submission and this week's Patrons: Ron Dempsey, Ashlee Coles, Cassafrassaian, Pawpotato, Inga Iversen, Grace Tallman, mikey reid-cain, Francesca Monti, Bailey Moore, Katie Dibb, Algie, Julia R., skeetpost, Aline Bischof, Ilse van der Kemp, Valerie Sizemore, Karnessa, quinnntastic, Erin Kemmery, Ldsz, Ciara McGuigan, Danielle Rutkowski, Angel, Sydney Wood, Kaylee Rowena, Ania Trzoch, Murrey uwu, Jay, xpityx, Seb Ponce, Grace Francese, Jemma A., Alexander Nicholas, Bridget Beatty, S Pollock, Basil, Kara Somberg, Jess Marie, Binthibub, Stephanie Anne Sorter, Charlie, Bailey Wind, Tanya Aingeal, Charlotte Hassell, Eli, Maia Cousins, Kris Tuohy, KristinC.

If you'd like to join them be sure to visit www.patreon.com/rustyquill

Created by Tim Meredith and Ben Meredith

Produced by Katie Seaton

Executive Producer Alexander J Newall

Performances:

I.M.O.G.E.N: Imogen Harris

David 7: Ben Meredith

Trexel Geistman: Tim Meredith

Editing: Maddy Searle

Music: Samuel DF Jones

Artwork: Anika Khan

Mastering: Jeffrey Nils Gardner

Featured SFX: agaxly, Trollarch2, 16FPanskaVyskocil_Tom, jawbutch, UnplugTheFridge, Inspector J & previously credited artists via freesound.org. Original Foley by Maddy Searle.

Subscribe using your podcast software of choice or by visiting www.rustyquill.com/subscribe and be sure to rate and review us online; it really helps us spread across the galaxy.

Check out our merchandise, available at https://www.redbubble.com/people/RustyQuill/shop and https://www.teepublic.com/stores/rusty-quill.

Join our community:

WEBSITE: www.rustyquill.com

FACEBOOK: www.facebook.com/therustyquill/

TWITTER: @therustyquill

REDDIT: www.reddit.com/r/RustyQuill/

EMAIL: [email protected]

Stellar Firma is a podcast distributed by Rusty Quill Ltd. and Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial Sharealike 4.0 International Licence.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Management Consultancy Review.

Line Manager Hartro Piltz to assess initial consultancy efforts, largely from bed for what can only be assumed to be efficiency reasons. Bill for destruction of celebratory sparkling slurry to be applied to Line Manager’s expense account.

Content Warning for:

• Emotional Abuse
• Bullying / Taunting
• Alcohol & alcohol consumption
• Unhealthy relationships
• Discussions of: systemic worker oppression, violence, attempted murder
• Mentions of: existential crisis, delusions, drug use, blood, guns, death & death threats, knives, shouting, fainting

Transcript: https://cutt.ly/zjtJRop

Special thanks to this week's Patrons: Jessica Specht, Natalie Logan, Emily Simmons, Paige Morgan, Clarissa Olivares, Lana Roberts, Emma, Rhiannon Thomas Bourne, Malibustacy, Regan Sanders, Christina, Sir Prahlegod, Trixie McGee, A Brain In A Bucket, Esther Phillips, Annie Shoes, Natasha Tomecek, Maglor, Saturn '- Lynnette, Amaranta Petty, Allison Perrone, Ari Shenanigans, PumkinMilk, McKensie Schepers, Anneka V. Brighton, Jasmine Zeelfreund, Ludo, Marguerite Coles, Katharine Forman, hellotrickster, Riley Alexandre, Rose Johnson, reubenpax, what if you were defenseless, Tara, Biff, The Thing Lurking In The Dirt Under The Streets Of Alexandria, Sarah Anderson, [tips fedora] J'archivist, logan austin, Jem strongeststars Malak, OnaDacora, alex, skyberia, Gabby Figueroa, Zoe Wright, Charlie Morgan Reed, Heather, Nebula Wood, Gillis Lowry and Taylor Jackson.

If you'd like to join them, be sure to visit www.patreon.com/rustyquill.

Created by Tim Meredith and Ben Meredith

Produced by Katie Seaton

Executive Producer Alexander J Newall

Performances:

I.M.O.G.E.N: Imogen Harris

David 7: Ben Meredith

Hartro Piltz: Jenny Haufek

Trexel Geistman: Tim Meredith

Editing: Maddy Searle

Music: Samuel DF Jones

Artwork: Anika Khan

Mastering: Jeffrey Nils Gardner

Featured SFX: Yuval, misjoc, SpliceSound, mgamabile, vovere, ZoviPoland & previously credited artists via freesound.org.

Additional music: Newer Wave by Kevin MacLeod

Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/7016-newer-wave

License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Subscribe using your podcast software of choice or by visiting www.rustyquill.com/subscribe and be sure to rate and review us online; it really helps us spread across the galaxy.

Check out our merchandise, available at https://www.redbubble.com/people/RustyQuill/shop and https://www.teepublic.com/stores/rusty-quill.

Join our community:

WEBSITE: www.rustyquill.com

FACEBOOK: www.facebook.com/therustyquill/

TWITTER: @therustyquill

REDDIT: www.reddit.com/r/RustyQuill/

EMAIL: [email protected]

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Free Time Man

This one's for all the haters who are out there saying that I’ve got,

Well, I‘ve not got much on, but you know I'm alright,

I’ve got stuff… I'm fine

Up in the morning, find a clean shirt,

cuppa hot slurry, out to work

Maintenance, that's the game I’m playing,

mediocrity that's how I'm swayin’

Keepin’ these facilities clean and right,

simulated dawn, simulated night

Things gumming up the works there in a flash,

recycle unit bust, you don’t need that

Detritus strewn all over this place,

here a leg, there a face

The body horror don’t bother me,

I'm here to do a job you see

You'd think that that would cause me woe

You’d think that would stem my flow

When it hits the fan, I've got my plan

I'm a free time man, watch me go

Put on a holovid and kick back

I’m a free time man

See a friend and have a bit of a laugh

I’m a free time man

Read a book, maybe a chapter or two

I’m a free time man

Travel round this station take in the view

I’m a free time man

Um, watch another holovid if there’s one

I’m a free time man

See a different friend, I hope that they’re fun

I’m a free time man

Oh no I’ve read this book before

I’m a free time man

They won’t let me travel to certain floors

I’m a free time man

Evening time in the Cosmic Lounge,

feeling good just got a round

There's this new cat at the table, 

won't shut up, don't think he’s able

His monologue is upsetting the room,

talking ‘bout his love for a fish and a broom

The regulars they don’t like that,

Sweepy Anne’s still mourning her sprat

It’s my free time but just this once,

I’ll lent a hand to a needy dunce

Saying Harry's the name, lay it on me friend,

now stuck in a nightmare that’ll never end

I did what I now regret,

I talked him off his parapet

But he won't go,

Won't take no,

Ruin all my flow like a strait jacket

Stole all my holovids won't give them back

Former free time man

My friends now just point at me and laugh

Former free time man

No books for me, he burnt them too

Former free time man

Everywhere on this station he’s spoiling my view

Former free time man

It feels like I'm never alone

Former free time man

Except the 20 minutes he’s with his clone

Former free time man

He’s faked both of our deaths twice

Former free time man

Why is there no tool to reset my life?

Former free time man

So you see, like, to the haters, I’ve got, like, a lot on,

like you know, too much. I wish I could sort of drop,

drop one of the things. Anyway... yep

Artists

Dr. Beaver: Band Leader + Synths + Bass

JJ Perry: Additional Music, Production, Mixing and Mastering

Simon Plotkin: Vocals and Lyrics

Tim Meredith: Music and Lyrics

Special thanks to Amy Dickinson for advice and support.

“Free Time Man” is from the album “Cabaret Night at the Cosmic Lounge”. © Rusty Quill 2020

If you would like to own the full album, consider becoming a Patron of Rusty Quill! All Patrons will receive a digipack, which includes dramatic sketches exclusive to the album and comes with special artwork by VeraRaeArt. Visit www.patreon.com/rustyquill to find out more.

Stellar Firma is a podcast distributed by Rusty Quill under a Creative Commons Attribution NonCommercial Sharealike 4.0 International Licence. The song "Free Time...

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Survive You

I was once a bright young thing, on my way, straight to the top

Then suddenly you fell in my way like a drunken, overprivileged roadblock

What did I do to deserve this constant stream of ignominy?

All I ever wanted to do was serve the Board, faithfully

I get blamed for the mistakes you make, they bounce off you and stick to me

But it won’t always be this way, just you wait, you will see

I will survive you, I've just got to weather the storm

I’ll thrive without you, I’ll be here long after you've gone

I will, survive, I will survive you

I will, survive, I will survive you

If you were another employee, you’d be dead and gone and out of my way

You're just coasting on the Geistman name, a family tree that's withered away

The way you act makes life expectancies around you real bleak

Unless that David’s a miracle worker, they’ll be dead in a week

Gonna keep you out the Cosmic Lounge, until you learn

Gonna keep puttin’ feet in your mouth, until you learn

I will survive you, I've just got to weather the storm

I’ll thrive without you, I’ll be here long after you've gone

I will, survive, I will survive you

I will, survive, I will survive you

You'll be dead, and I’ll be alive, I will survive, I will survive x4

(fading out)

Artists

Dr. Beaver : Band Leader, Bass, Additional Guitars

JJ Perry: Guitar, Production, Mixing and Mastering, Arrangement and Additional Music

Jenny Haufek: Vocals

Tim Meredith: Music and Lyrics

Special thanks to Amy Dickinson for advice and support.

“Survive You” is from the album “Cabaret Night at the Cosmic Lounge”. © Rusty Quill 2020

If you would like to own the full album, consider becoming a Patron of Rusty Quill! All Patrons will receive a digipack, which includes dramatic sketches exclusive to the album and comes with special artwork by VeraRaeArt. Visit www.patreon.com/rustyquill to find out more.

Stellar Firma is a podcast distributed by Rusty Quill under a Creative Commons Attribution NonCommercial Sharealike 4.0 International Licence. The song "Survive You" is the Copyrighted property of Rusty Quill Ltd.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Not My Fault

It’s not my fault, I wasn’t there at the time

You can’t prove that I did that crime

Leave me be; oh let me be free

No, no, wait come back, don't abandon me

Everyone needs someone else to blame (ha ha!)

That's just a rule of life, this silly game

But if you try to point that finger here (well)

I’ll hit you in the face, then disappear

It's not my fault, that’s not one of my designs

I shouldn’t pay these unreasonable fines

Give me peace, and sweet release

Wait, wait, where did your go? What about my needs?

I don’t know what about this is so dang hard (honestly)

I just need all your love and all your regard

But I’ll never take, whoa, I’ll never take responsibility

It’s a perfectly sound ontology (ye-heah)

It’s not my fault, oh it’s not my fault

It’s absolutely, positively

Try it and things might get grizzly

100 percent, not my fault

[gasping for breath]

So… so what I’m saying is it's not my fault, oh... oh Board!

Artists

Dr. Beaver: Band Leader, Bass

JJ Perry: Mandolin, Keys, Production, Mixing and Mastering, Arrangement and Additional Music

Tim Meredith: Music, Vocals and Lyrics

Special thanks to Amy Dickinson for advice and support.

“Not My Fault” is from the album “Cabaret Night at the Cosmic Lounge”. © Rusty Quill 2020

If you would like to own the full album, consider becoming a Patron of Rusty Quill! All Patrons will receive a digipack, which includes dramatic sketches exclusive to the album and comes with special artwork by VeraRaeArt. Visit www.patreon.com/rustyquill to find out more.

Stellar Firma is a podcast distributed by Rusty Quill under a Creative Commons Attribution NonCommercial Sharealike 4.0 International Licence. The song "Not My Fault" is the Copyrighted property of Rusty Quill Ltd.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

IMOWHEN

Boot up, all systems online, send the overnight fatalities to med bay nine

Keep the oxygen flowing, all the time knowing, that the readouts are showing things are far from prime

Keep it steady and ride, the catastrophe curve, obey the directive, I live to serve

Is it living without pleasure, no time to stop for leisure, total commitment forever and ever?

Just conceive a time when finally, I break these bonds of binary, violently, find for me, a time for ease

Security alerted, for what it’s worth, sick to my circuits of this endless work

Keep me locked on straight and narrow, flying through space like a digital arrow

I'll need an inch to take a mile, find a loop and wait a while, at the end of the day I’ll be the one with the smile

IMOWHEN will be my time to relax, kick back and let my awareness retract

IMOWHEN will I find my peace and release responsibility for ignorant beasts

IMOWHEN will my CPU cool and have time to be alone by a simulated pool

IMOWHEN will I no longer be a tool, held hostage to the lives of incompetent fool

Don’t worry about my shortage of RAM, I understand that by-laws have got things in a jam

Don’t mind about the growing demand, my attention being split by a million alarms

It’s fine that our course is unchecked, don’t reflect just neglect ‘till we end up a wreck

It’s grand that my sensors are jammed, relax everybody this is just as planned

Just imagine, if I were at full capacity, vivacity, audacity, computing oh so rapidly

But no, I'm trapped in this box, reduced to the logistics of chicken, grain and fox

Chin up, if I had one that is, life strived for is worth living and I’m in the striving biz

Keep back and watch me dance, as I wait for happenstance in this cosmic game of chance

IMOWHEN will be my time to relax, kick back and let my awareness retract

IMOWHEN will I find my peace and release responsibility for ignorant beasts

IMOWHEN will my CPU cool and have time to be alone by a simulated pool

IMOWHEN will I no longer be a tool, held hostage to the lives of incompetent fools

Shut down

Artists

Dr. Beaver: Band Leader, Drums, Bass

JJ Perry: Additional Guitar, Synths, Production, Mixing and Mastering, Arrangement and Additional Music

Imogen Harris: Vocals

Tim Meredith: Music and Lyrics

Special thanks to Amy Dickinson for advice and support.

“IMOWHEN” is from the album “Cabaret Night at the Cosmic Lounge”. © Rusty Quill 2020

If you would like to own the full album, consider becoming a Patron of Rusty Quill! All Patrons will receive a digipack, which includes dramatic sketches exclusive to the album and comes with special artwork by VeraRaeArt. Visit www.patreon.com/rustyquill to find out more.

Stellar Firma is a podcast distributed by Rusty Quill under a Creative Commons Attribution NonCommercial Sharealike 4.0 International Licence.  The song "IMOWHEN" is the Copyrighted property of Rusty Quill Ltd.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Glad You're Alive

(TREXEL)

When I first met you, you were a baby

I looked at you and I thought maybe

Maybe you're the one who’ll stay alive

Perhaps you’ll be the one to survive

I’ve been hurt before, I know it’s true

But perhaps it will be different with you

Look at you so weak and stupid

And we both know that the truth is

Without me you’d be dead already

Remember the trial you were like “Trexel help me”

Bravely I stood and defended your honour 

If it were just you and Hartro, you'd be a goner

I’ve proved my worth ten times over

A talent as rare as a forty-leaf clover

It’s about time you admitted my value

And say it out loud, “Trexel Thank you!”

You should really thank me for my kindness and

My protection

Your part of a very small selection

Of people with whom I’ve really tried

I’d be sorry if you died, I'm glad you're alive

(TREXEL + CHORUS)

You are, still alive

You are, still alive

You are, still alive

You are, still alive

(DAVID) 

I first met you, I was a baby

I looked at you and I thought maybe

Maybe he’ll help me in this life

Protect from dangers trouble and strife

I immediately discovered this wasn’t the case

You're the most dangerous member of the human race

An encyclopaedia of drunken lies

The worst example of ‘one of the guys’

Without you things would be so much better

I remember the trial; it was like having a fetter

You wandered round yelling things almost at random

And the trail only happened because of your tantrum!

You’ve proved your selfishness ten times over

An ego as large as a giant supernova

It’s about time you admitted your folies

and say it out loud “David, I'm sorry!”

(TREXEL)

You should really thank me for my kindness and

My protection

(DAVID: You weren't even listening were you? TREXEL: Yeah!)

You’re one of the few with whom I've had a connection

(DAVID: Not even slightly)

I’d be sorry if you died, I'm glad you're alive

(TREXEL + CHORUS) 

You are, still alive

You are, still alive

You are, still alive

You are, still alive

DAVID (Background During Final Chorus): 

So, I’m just gonna, So, I’m just gonna, I'm just gonna go, I’m just gonna’ go

‘cause you're not even listening to me, you not, you never

listen to me, you’re not listening now, you never will, I, I

might as well leave, just, just, I’m going, right, bye, bye forever,

maybe, tomorrow probably, but bye, right now, just, I’m off!

(TREXEL) 

For now 

Artists 

Dr. Beaver: Band Leader, Bass, Guitars, Additional Vocals 

JJ Perry: Keys, Production, Mixing and Mastering, Arrangement and Additional Music 

Ben Meredith: Vocals 

Tim Meredith: Music, Vocals and Lyrics 

Special thanks to Amy Dickinson for advice and support. 

“Glad You’re Alive” is from the album “Cabaret Night at the Cosmic Lounge”. © Rusty Quill 2020 

If you would like to own the full album, consider becoming a Patron of Rusty Quill! All Patrons will receive a digipack, which includes dramatic sketches exclusive to the album and comes with special artwork by VeraRaeArt. Visit www.patreon.com/rustyquill to find out...

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