Stone Clearing With Richard Herring

Chapter 6: Horizontal Rain. It's 6.45pm on Saturday 15th or 16th December (you will have to check your calendars) and conditions are wet, but stone clearers can not stop their work just cos Noel's House Party is on or because they might get wet. The storm clouds may gather but so must shalt the stone clearer. After the show biz excitement of the opening chapters, Richard is keen to demonstrate the day to day drudgery of the task he has set himself. And he does that extremely well. Includes illuminated dog bottoms, smeared radiator covers and no significant finds. But the thrill of transgression and the suspicion of log dogs even when you can't see them. Read more about stone clearing at http://richardherring.com/warmingup

Chapter 5: Dementia Dog. It's 8.20am on December 9th 2018 and conditions are breezy with occasional drizzle. The ground is still moist, which should be a worry for those who are concerned about global warming, but it's great news for stone clearers. Covered in this chapter: whether it's heresy to wear any type of clothing on the field; how to deal with sibling stones; marking your territory; what happens when you encounter an unfriendly dog owner; being the first non-bald man to wear a head torch; how the stone gods show their pleasure; where do the new stones come from; and why are all the cairns so pathetically small after all this time. Plus an encounter with Fred and his friends.

If you have any questions or would like to sponsor the podcast, email [email protected].

Find out more about stone clearing at http://www.richardherring.com/warmingup

Today Richard was wearing Petgrow Cut Resistant Work Gloves Level 5 Hand Protection, available here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B07GRVQ2BF/comedyguide-21/ Richard has not been paid for this glove endorsement. But is happy to be paid for other endorsements.

If you think your dog might have dementia this website can help you identify the symptoms. http://www.vetstreet.com/our-pet-experts/dementia-in-senior-dogs-6-ways-to-deal-with-the-effects There are no charities running at the moment for dogs with dementia, only for dogs for people with dementia. When will there be people for dogs with dementia?

Stones 1 Gloves 0. It's 8.35 on December 4th and the Herring household has been hit by a sickness bug, but stone clearing waits for no man and the work must be done. It's frosty but the earth is moist and the stones are coming up easy, as Rich covers a variety of subjects including whether size is important, the part that urine plays in the discipline, how fast you should walk your dog and whether it would be better to clear a field of plastic. Read more about stone-clearing at www.richardherring.com/warmingup

No Sparks. After a couple of podcasts for newbies, we go right in to professional level stone-clearing, with a night clear, conducted at the unGodly hour of 6.15pm on November 23rd 2018. Richard's last night stone clear was an amazing success, filled with fear, magic, fire, ice and a huge stone. Will tonight be as successful? Will Richard fall victim to a Night Hawk? Will the dim light of his torch somehow discover treasure? But what is the meaning of treasure? Stone clearing will change your perception of this and also of your own self-worth. It's not just the night that is dark as the podcast continues, it is Richard's heart and mood and for this reason we advise any high-spirited new stone clearers to save this podcast for a time later in their career. Sure it's a profession full of joy, but it's also full of the darkness at the heart of the void that you are exposing via your work. Richard ate his curry with his wife after, and was gay and kept his experiences out in the war against the stones to himself. Only you know how he was really feeling. Only you know what he is attempting. Keep the secret.

Ground Spiders. It's Sunday 18th November and the sun is just coming up. Most of you are in bed, but Richard and Wolfie are already up and clearing stones and pooing respectively. Today's podcast is about the items that can trick you into thinking they are stones, plus the search for the mythical great white stone, hiding somewhere in the Stocean. Hope you like the new theme tune written by Mike Cosgrave. For more info on stone clearing see www.richardherring.com/warmingup If you have any questions about stone clearing send them to [email protected]

Rock, Paper, Scissors - it's 7.42am on November 12th 2018 and Richard is setting out on another dog walk, but unbeknownst to his stupid family there will be something else going on, Stone Clearing. In this first proper episode Richard passes on some basic techniques of stone clearing as well as demonstrating how to keep your identity and what you are doing secret from the non-stone-clearing idiots. There are no rules, but he will give you some anyway. Also you might worry slightly that he doesn't have long to live, but don't worry he will pass on this task to his children on his death bed. This episode is really for beginners only.

For more tips on stone clearing and photos of the cairns go to richardherring.com/warmingup and look around a bit.

Intro - Herring's Mound. On 7th November 2018 in light drizzle Richard Herring takes his dog round the field in order to introduce you to the concept of stone-clearing and his motivations for doing so. In a recording that is sure to infuriate audiophiles he takes us through some of the basic stone-clearing techniques, narrowly avoids standing in some dog faeces and attempts to hide what he is doing from a mysterious, coughing dog-walker. He also encounters somebody's passive-aggressive attempt to reveal the secret of what he is doing and dob him into the farmer who may or may not be pleased that his field is being very slowly syphoned of its stones. Listen in so you can say that you were here from the start of a podcast that will redefine the genre and hopefully one day win the Turner Prize.

Check out richardherring.com/warmingup for more info and pictures.