Stories of Men: Beneath the Surface

It was Cup Final day against the school’s most fierce rivals. Andy was 12 years old and nervously waiting to hear if he would be included in the team. He looked to his dad watching from the sidelines, hoping his name would be announced. Finally, the team was revealed and Andy would be playing in defence.

The game kicks off. In the first minute the opposition start to attack. Andy looks on as the rival striker comes rushing towards him. There’s an opportunity for Andy to get involved and stop his team from losing a goal. But, at the final second, he decides not to make a challenge.

The striker goes past him. He scores. Andy’s team is 1-0 down and it’s only the opening minute. How would his dad react? Why had Andy not reacted? And why is it that Andy has never been able to forget that moment ever since?

Alex Melia, and the Stories of Men team are on a mission to uncover what it means to live an independent and meaningful life. We'll be sharing this knowledge with you every week.

We’d like to extend our appreciation to today’s guest, Andy. His unguarded and moving reflections on his fear of failure will resonate with many. They also provide a vital part of the puzzle as we try to piece together what it means to be a man in today’s world. [Original air date: December 19th, 2023]

Referenced links: https://thinkunconventionall.com/

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Mentioned in this episode:

Take The Man Test here: https://bit.ly/the_man_test

When it comes to idyllic childhood’s one would be hard-pressed to think of a more harmonious one than James’. He was raised in Villefrance, a town in  the Alps located along the French and Italian border. There he spent quality time with his father who taught him about the  nurturing power of nature.

It was with a sense of horror and disbelief that one day James’ father would tell him that everything he had known would be coming to an end. That his once idyllic life would be replaced by a harsh, stifling, concrete environment, characterised by enforcing obedience and conformity.

But what would be the circumstances that would lead to this change? And how have James’ childhood experiences inspired him to help and engage young people today?

Alex Melia, and the Stories of Men team are on a mission to uncover what it means to live an independent and meaningful life. We'll be sharing this knowledge with you every week.

We’d like to extend our appreciation to today’s guest, James. His tender and heartfelt reflections on a childhood that was both cherished and lost are deeply moving and highly appreciated. They also provide a vital part of the puzzle as we try to piece together what it means to be a man in today’s world. [Original air date: December 12th, 2023]

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Mentioned in this episode:

Take The Man Test here: https://bit.ly/the_man_test_som

Speeding along the motorway listening to music from his youth, Andy was reflecting on happier times. He was thinking about a holiday in Ibiza when he was 19 years old and hadn’t a care in the world. He’d been genuinely happy then. 

Now he felt angry, destructive. He saw nothing ahead of him except struggle and pain. He put his foot on the accelerator and saw the speedometer rise to 90 miles per hour. He bobbed and weaved his way through the cars. He took his hands off the steering wheel. He closed his eyes, he started to count. Within the deep blackness Andy was being hurtled, he was taking the ultimate gamble.

What had led Andy to this point? And what tools are available to help men like Andy in society today?

Alex Melia, and the Stories of Men team are on a mission to uncover what it means to live an independent and meaningful life. We'll be sharing this knowledge with you every week.

We’d like to extend our appreciation to today’s guest, Andy. His moving and brave recollections of the challenges he has faced are both enlightening and highly appreciated. They also provide a vital part of the puzzle as we try to piece together what it means to be a man in today’s world. [Original air date: May 12th, 2023]

Referenced website: epicriskmanagement.com

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Mentioned in this episode:

Take The Man Test here: https://bit.ly/som_the_man_test

You’re a soldier driving through a warzone. You pass through a deserted village. Later you see a lonely crucifix in a field. You find out what it symbolises: one night all of the people in the village were dragged outside of their homes and executed. How do you react? Do you dare to show emotion? Do you dare to show compassion?

Jed Irving was a man’s man. He had been trained to keep his emotions in check. He didn’t react to finding out about the village massacre. He suppressed his feelings. But, years later,  that memory from the past was triggered. This time he felt a depth of compassion he had not been able to access before. But would Jed finally allow himself to express the emotions he had previously denied?

Today we discover how Jed dealt with being confronted by the past. And ask, has Jed’s perception of masculinity changed as he has grown older? And what does it truly mean to be a “tough guy” in the 21st century?

Alex Melia, and the Stories of Men team are on a mission to uncover what it means to live an independent and meaningful life. We'll be sharing this knowledge with you every week.

We’d like to extend our appreciation to today’s guest, Jed Irving. His vulnerability, openness and sincerity in talking about bearing witness to such a tragic scene shows inspirational courage. It also provides meaningful reflection as we try to piece together what it means to be a man in today’s world.

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A Fascinate Production

Mentioned in this episode:

Take The Man Test here: https://bit.ly/the_man_test

It was his first summer holiday with the boys in Spain. Alan and his mates were bragging about all the money they’d brought with them for their two weeks in the sun. Yet, while his mates all seemed to be expressing genuine excitement, Alan felt anxious about the days to come.

After the first night out, all of the lads returned in a drunken state. They left their clothes strewn across the apartment as they collapsed into sleep. Only Alan remained awake. He couldn’t stop thinking about a lie he’d told earlier. He couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that he had come on a two-week holiday with his mates without bringing any money with him at all.

How would Alan get through the next two weeks of his holiday? And what had got him into such a precarious situation to begin with?

Alex Melia, and the Stories of Men team are on a mission to uncover what it means to live an independent and meaningful life. We'll be sharing this knowledge with you every week.

We’d like to extend our appreciation to today’s guest, Alan. His frank and unflinching discussion of some truly difficult topics are deeply valued. It also provides a vital part of the puzzle as we try to piece together what it means to be a man in today’s world.

Referenced links: epicriskmanagement.com

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Check out the Stories Of Men website for more on this story

We're also on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram

A Fascinate Production

Mentioned in this episode:

Take The Man Test here: https://bit.ly/the_man_test_som

After the previously independent company that he’d worked for had been bought up by a much larger one, Anuj had begun to lose his passion for his job. The one benefit that had remained was his team, who he thoroughly enjoyed working with. But  even that would come under threat as Anuj was told that he needed to make two of them redundant. 

Anuj decided that it was time for him to formulate a plan. Once he had it clearly formulated, he steeled himself to tell his boss about it before the scheduled redundancy meeting would take place. With trepidation in his heart, he would prepare to tell his boss what he felt needed to be said.

Alex Melia, and the Stories of Men team are on a mission to uncover what it means to live an independent and meaningful life. We'll be sharing this knowledge with you every week.

We’d like to extend our appreciation to today’s guest, Anuj. His thoughtful and open reflections on the workplace and the pressures of being a breadwinner are deeply appreciated. They also provide a vital part of the puzzle as we try to piece together what it means to be a man in today’s world. [Original air date: November 14th, 2023]

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Check out the Stories Of Men website for more on this story

We're also on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram

A Fascinate Production

Mentioned in this episode:

Take The Man Test here: https://bit.ly/som_the_man_test

Jonathan was daydreaming while his chemistry professor was putting chalk to blackboard. He’d snuck his NME magazine into the lecture theatre and was reading about an upcoming gig: Alice in Chains, a world-famous band, were coming to perform in his city!

The news got even more exciting; the band’s bassist would soon be leaving. This gave Jonathan a wild idea: why not apply to be the band’s bassist himself? He knew all of their songs and was certain to be attending the gig anyway. Resolved on this idea, he began writing an application letter to the venue at which the band would be playing.

But what gave Jonathan the confidence to make such an application? And what would the band’s response to it be?  Welcome to the mind of the unreasonable man.

Alex Melia, and the Stories of Men team are on a mission to uncover what it means to live an independent and meaningful life. We'll be sharing this knowledge with you every week.

We’d like to extend our appreciation to today’s guest, Jonathan. His energetic and optimistic perspective on life and the opportunities it can present is highly inspirational. It also provides a vital part of the puzzle as we try to piece together what it means to be a man in today’s world. [Original air date: November 7th, 2023]

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Check out the Stories Of Men website for more on this story

We're also on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram

A Fascinate Production

Mentioned in this episode:

Take The Man Test here: https://bit.ly/the_man_test

It was cup final day and Sumit and his brothers were dreaming of victory. They had all travelled to Kiev to watch Liverpool play the final match in Europe’s premier competition. All the brothers had to do was navigate their way past the burly, gun-toting security guards and find their seats.

Once the brothers had entered the stadium, they were dismayed to discover that their seats were a long distance from the pitch. They also only provided a view of half of the action as a cinder block significantly obscured their view. The brothers would have to work together in order to save their big day. Would there be something one of them could say or do to get the seats they had dreamed of?

Today we reflect on the joy of spending special time with special people and we reflect on the unique bonds that only brothers can share.

Alex Melia, and the Stories of Men team are on a mission to uncover what it means to live an independent and meaningful life. We'll be sharing this knowledge with you every week.

We’d like to extend our appreciation to today’s guest, Sumit. His thoughtful and open approach to discussing family and community are extremely valuable and highly appreciated. It also provides a vital part of the puzzle as we try to piece together what it means to be a man in today’s world. [Original air date: October 31st, 2023]

Websites referenced: https://storiesofmenpodcast.com/ (The Man Test)

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Check out the Stories Of Men website for more on this story

We're also on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram

A Fascinate Production

Mentioned in this episode:

Take The Man Test here: https://bit.ly/the_man_test_som

*Content warning: This episode contains graphic details of suicide*

George had been struggling with anxiety and depression for a while and he was beginning to lose hope that he would ever feel better again. He was living with his parents and had sworn both of them to secrecy about his current state of mind. But one evening his secret was revealed.

George’s parents had been out with friends and one of the friends had asked how George was doing. In response, she’d tearfully broken down and talked about how concerned she was about her son. Quite unexpectedly, her male friend offered to talk to him.

But how would George react to his secret being revealed? And how could talking to his mother’s friend be in any way beneficial?

Alex Melia, and the Stories of Men team are on a mission to uncover what it means to live an independent and meaningful life. We'll be sharing this knowledge with you every week.

We’d like to extend our appreciation to today’s guest, George. His reflective and open discussion of his own psychological challenges and vulnerability shows great bravery and is deeply appreciated. It also provides a vital part of the puzzle as we try to piece together what it means to be a man in today’s world. [Original air date: October 24th, 2023]

Suicide support: The Samaritans hotline 116 123

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Check out the Stories Of Men website for more on this story

We're also on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram

A Fascinate Production

Mentioned in this episode:

Take The Man Test here: https://bit.ly/som_the_man_test

It was as ordinary a situation as you could imagine: Steve and his girlfriend were in Subway purchasing a sandwich. Steve had decided to go for the healthiest option available: a sandwich which was under 3g in fat. He’d chosen roast chicken, no sauces, no cookies and a diet coke.

But as Steve was eating the food in front of him, he began to get nervous. A voice in his head was telling him: “What you’re doing isn’t right, you’re going to get fat.” As soon as Steve and his girlfriend got home, he made his excuses and went straight to the bathroom. He aimed to ensure that the food did not remain in his system before the night was through.

What had led to Steve developing such an unhealthy relationship with food? And how did he manage to go from fearing food to becoming a chef?

Alex Melia, and the Stories of Men team are on a mission to uncover what it means to live an independent and meaningful life. We'll be sharing this knowledge with you every week.

We’d like to extend our appreciation to today’s guest, Steve. His honesty and bravery in talking about such a debilitating disease is profoundly appreciated. It also provides a vital part of the puzzle as we try to piece together what it means to be a man in today’s world.

[Original air date: October 17th, 2023]

Eating disorder helpline: https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/get-information-and-support/get-help-for-myself/i-need-support-now/helplines/

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Check out the Stories Of Men website for more on this story

We're also on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram

A Fascinate Production

Mentioned in this episode:

Take The Man Test here: https://bit.ly/the_man_test