Listener question: Thank you for the stress course, unfortunately, I have taken a break from this one.  It amazes me I have never found this before but STRESS has really hit home, which I know is not a bad thing but has put me in a much more cautious ​mood and I have stalled at day 16.  I do hope to go back to the course and am confident that I will continue. 

 I can only offer this as evidence that you have created a brilliant course as it has found its way to the route of my stress/anxiety.  My hesitancy, from my fear of really facing my fears and asking the Why question, is seen and felt and noticed. I mentioned this to my buddy which resulted in a smack in the face realisation of a link between a childhood stressor and today's issues and was awash with tears, although when I try to recall it now I find I can't. 

 The next day was one of the highest stress/anxious days I have had for such a long time.  I have made a link between these events which I think has stopped me wanting to carry on and to be honest even stopped me wanting to speak to my buddy anymore. (this withdrawal is a pattern that has created so many of my limitations)

 I see this all but do feel an overwhelm like a wave going over my head, but I will pop up the other side. 

 Are you able to speak about this 2 steps forward, 1 step back that I have experienced throughout my time on your courses?  I feel understanding is most definitely there and the wall of fear I had has many breaks in it now, I still have worries there will always be part of a wall there, its so beyond belief that freedom is available for me.

Listener question: There's appreciation for this opening up and suddenly a sadness that there are many statements that seem like clarity that, if shared, may spark confrontation for the listener. I imagine that you aren't coaching all people all the time in your life and that you maybe have close loved ones who are very much in the world of free will exists and a self is the doer - do you mostly stay silent with people who are not in this conversation and simply use whatever shows up as new information as your own ego confrontation?

Looking at Dr Gabor Maté's quote: 

“A therapist once said to me, “If you face the choice between feeling guilt and resentment, choose the guilt every time.” It is wisdom I have passed on to many others since. If a refusal saddles you with guilt, while consent leaves resentment in its wake, opt for the guilt. Resentment is soul suicide. Negative thinking allows us to gaze unflinchingly on our own behalf at what does not work. 

Listener question: what can I do about my children's mental health? 

Listener question: I work for the NHS. So we are basically asked, on a continual basis, to ‘ fit a quart into a pint pot’ . So that is a ‘form’ problem, with a solution- another pint pot. But that is not on offer, and it is not an option to say it’s not possible and walk away, because the patients will suffer. So not sure how I can help colleagues , it looks intrinsically stressful, not just ‘ our thinking’ . As one Dr tweeted recently, it shouldn’t be the case that it feels like a luxury to be able to have a wee on a 12 hour shift. 

We have a range of health and well-being initiatives, but to me it feels a bit insulting when basic needs are not met, so would be grateful for any insights. I can see that not everyone finds it equally stressful, for some it’s just ‘ working in the nhs’ , but ……

Listener question: Just wasn’t clear how the cleaning up happens.  Is it the seeing, or transparency, that does the cleaning up?  I guess that’s what’s implied in your podcast, but thought I’d check if that’s what you mean.

For me, every action can be seen/interpreted as self playing out, but perhaps this cleaning up subtly changes actions over time.

Listener question: I am worried about my mental health

Listener question: I listened to your podcast this morning. This concept of freeing ourselves from the illusion of the self to 'be what we really are' is something I find difficult to understand. Is it even possible to know 'what we really are' without some underpinning of what we mean by 'we'? If my concept of my 'self' - complete with all its baggage and cultural conditioning and prejudices etc - is an illusion of some kind, behind which lurks a more real, authentic entity, do we not risk falling into some kind of Cartesian duality whereby the 'who I really am' has somehow been occluded, or forgotten by the 'persona' of my conditioning? The conclusion seems to be that 'who I really am' is not my 'self' in the way that I ordinarily understand that term but something else, the proverbial 'ghost in the machine', a concept which I thought had been abandoned long ago. 

Can you help to clarify this a bit more?

"If there is no 'self' then what is really going on in the often critical sounding expression 'to be self-obsessed'. Is this really just a term used to point out that the mind if caught in believing there is a 'self' and is 'obsessed' with trying to examine itself. A pointless loop and hence the appearance of obsession that arises as the mind desperatly tries to find the escape route from its percieved self. When caught in apparent 'self obsession' is this something we are in control of or want to aim to avoid or is it leading us to 'gifts' ?

Listener question:what is freedom?