Listener question: is life a continual unfolding of seeing more of the self arising and then it dissolving as more of the truth is seen? My impression is that the self doesn't "end", it arises and more is seen as that happens.

Listener question: Is it possible to have shift and the self dissolve without the hopelessness?

Listener question : why are "wants" are not met. When we do not really want it, we just think we should. Example... People want to go to the gym. After 2 weeks they withdraw from it. Why? I assume they do not really want it. They just want to feel better/satisfied/worthy and going to the gym is just a tool for achieving it.

Or in this case it is not "wanting" but "needing"?

What do you think? 

Listener question: 

My 'nice' life (the exact opposite of a messy life) - all a dance of protection and control. Keep life on an even keel! Don't ruffle feathers! It feels like I just havent been present to much of it. Always somewhere else and taking the CEO position of managing the NICE Life Corporation very seriously.

So tedious, boring and ludicrous. Should be a relief that I don't have to do it anymore but writing this ut just seems like i don't  know how to let it get messy.

Some stuff just needs to explode through. Biggy is around my marriage that is Nicely manged and no real reason to end or fair to my hubby who adores me. Would really love to see this differently as we have so much good stuff between us. Just dont want to continue being NICE. Mirror mirror on the wall......want to bite his/my head off. Need a good raging rant or to get drunk which would be a first as NICE never allowed either of tbose!!!!

So where am I? Trying not to be NICE yet holding madly on and shit scared of what might be said out loud that shoudn't be aimed at anyone.

Question from several listeners: why would we look at behaviour if there is no separate self or objective reality? Isn't that just about fixing the self? 

Listener question: The more I realize that I am not the doer, life is completely predetermined (because of all the things which happened before I had no influence on like upbringing  and genes and because of time and space). I just have the feeling of self will but it is an illusion. The feeling of worthlessness, senselessness, nothing to hope for and fix and aim for brings me to a very desperate place.

Listener question: Ok if we are life’s unlimited potential itself, why is it that the self seems to have a contracted dense heavy default mode? It’s almost like a magnetic pull to heaviness, overthinking, and unhelpful patterns that are obvious toxic and not in line with the deep lust for aliveness that seems to get lost underneath it all. 

Listener question: 

‘It really makes sense that this body here would move out of the way of whatever would damage it....the form will do what is necessary [in that moment] to survive.  And it can do this without any concept of self, any concept of past or future, any concept of separation.

Our concept of self is not what is keeping us safe, keeping harmful others at bay.  Response is happening regardless of the idea of self.’ [taken from SANE: getting real with reality]

Would this apply to the damage of rejection and the threat to survival it poses, or is that a concept that only a separate self can come up with?

Listener question: if everything is perfect then why would we look at insecurity or behaviour? Isn't that just what is? 

Listener question: Is it not just as much to learn about the illusion of self and others when we feel great? I was thinking about when we are in love and when we feel "on top" and "in the flow" when for example work seems to go very well. 

When we are in love we have this illusionary thinking about "the other person" and maybee underneath a scenario of how great it will be together and also we maybee have a great feeling about "our self" when the other person is also in love. Isn't this as much an illusion and a posibility to learn as when we are afraid of someone or that we are not liked by "the other"?

And when "the self" think it is doing great at work, getting fabulous results etc and everything seems to flow, it is very easy for "the self" to unconsciously take credit for it and feel safe. 

But often when we feel good we tend to think that this is how it is supposed to be and that we are on the right track.