Superpowered Mind with Clare Dimond

I don't understand a word of what you are saying. Can you tell me the basics? 

I was on a retreat and the teacher and the participants laughed at the idea of non-dual therapy because all of it is an illusion anyway and yet your work seems to be going more and more in that direction. Can you say more?

Cycle of retraumatisation: example from social media 


My partner moved in at the beginning of the year, a month later we bought our first puppy. Neither of us has owned a dog before but were both super excited.
 
 I hate my life now. I was so happy with my partner moving in, it felt so natural and my 12 year DD adjusted well too. Home has always been my favourite place and now I absolutely hate being here. My partner is very active in caring for pup so it’s not like he’s not helping. 
 
 We’ve just had a row over pup as he tried to come downstairs and take over because he thought I was getting too angry. This just felt so patronising and obviously hit a nerve because I do feel like the worlds shittest dog owner.
 
 He loves pup and they are best mates, I just feel like the evil puppy hater and I’m jealous of the bond they have. I’ve had 3 hours sleep tonight and I'm currently on the sofa next to pups crate just crying. Someone please tell me it gets better because I’m starting to feel very very dark.

I’m just gobsmacked at the emotional toll it’s taking. I find the screech type barking really hard and I don’t have a huge amount of patience. My partner does though so I just feel so inferior. 
 
 
 
 I wasn’t a great mum to my daughter when she was born and it’s triggering that exact same guilt. I knew it would be hard I just didn’t expect it to make me miserable and resentful

OMG, I just realised the “I can’t do xyz or I’ll die” (the basis of nearly all of our/my fears) doesn’t mean my body will die, it means the construct of ‘I’ will die!! It’s total bullshit, all of it, because I doesn’t even exist!

How can the mirror exercise not lead to self recrimination - something that I am very good at? 

I would like to be "love", "hope", "freedom", "peace", "joy", and me. How? The "me" would love to wake up one day and be the definition of these words. 

Does anyone have a story they can share with me of suffering = healing. It really doesn’t feel that way right now!

I listened to today’s podcast and found it really helpful, but I have a further question if that’s ok? Clare talked about going into the body being the way in which we come into reality, into the present moment and into true healing. But if we feel our thinking, then surely the sensations in the body are a result of our current thinking, in that moment, which is made up of the continual searching to find peace? I do find it helpful going into the body but it also revs up my mind, but perhaps that is because I have such a detached relationship with my body that going into it brings up fear. 

I hope the question makes sense! 

This morning I went into the body instead of the narrative. Within a few minutes I experienced quiet and then got out of bed. 5:15 am which I often would go back to sleep but I thought I'd journal. There wasn't much there. I could have gone back into the narrative while journaling but I didn't. 

Okay so here I am SANE as you would say. 

My mind goes - Now what? 

I spent years doing a method where I would question thoughts/beliefs. It served me to see that "I" was making a choice and that if I wanted to feel happier then I could choose to believe something else. It was powerful to discover that my thoughts created my reality. After 15 years of this approach, I entered the coaching world and found an infinite number of approaches to feeling happier, content, grounded including meditation, 3Ps, falling into the space of who/what I really am, etc.

When I came across your work and had the mind-blowing realization that "I/ME" was an accumulation of thoughts, stories - a spinning mental narrative projecting an external world of childhood wounds, traumas, insecurities - I was excited because I knew it was true. "I" was a story. 

Even with that knowledge, every morning, I wake up into a fear-based, identified mind e.g. terror, low-level anxiety, worry, out-of-control imagination of bad things happening to me and my loved ones, etc and when I engage with those thoughts, I notice the same themes of lack, control, wrongness, trying to be safe, resistance, etc. This experience feels real, feels like ME, who I am. Intellectually, I know that isn't true but it's experienced as true, real. 

I've heard you say to question the mind's narrative, get curious, parent the child/survival mind. . .but I end up caught in the negative mental loop. And I've heard you say - get sane, present - go into the body. When I do the latter, I can feel the levels of fear, discomfort. I can get beneath them to feel sensations and often quiet is experienced. But nothing else. 

Isn't this a form of spiritual bypass? I know I'm not using spiritual superiority as a way to hide from insecurities but I'm "avoiding" the mental narrative by going into the body. I'm not experiencing the fear or anger or upset. I'm not "facing" the stories of lack, examining the childhood wounds, questioning them nor understanding them. 

Any more thoughts on this would be helpful.