The real you is a field of intelligence in which the person you have identified yourself with, all other persons, as well as the environment in which they exist, all co-arise and co-evolve as a result of your own self-interactions. 

Deepak Chopra

Psychedelics Listener question 

When you’ve been friends with someone for many years and then they start to delete you and ignore you but find many reasons to avoid you but they are saying they aren’t….is it time to leave the relationship? 

I think what’s happening is I’m looking for myself/home in the other

I need them to feel ok

Or the insecurity does 

The need for attention/belonging

And I look to thought for the answer

But I am also the space that sees that 

Hope you are well. A lot has changed for me in a positive way since we last connected. Far too long for an email but again my gratitude for the membership. 

Finding THEM very helpful. Wondered if this could be covered in a podcast or maybe I should ask on the webinar? 

6 weeks ago I found myself effortlessly signing up for online dating 9 years post divorce. I’ve had no other relationship since the divorce as bringing up kids, working full time and caring for elderly relatives and just didn’t think I had the capacity to look or take on someone else. My husband had been unfaithful so I was also very scared of getting hurt again. In the 6 weeks of online, I’ve have two conversations by message leading to nothing as both ghosted me but then unexpectedly connected with someone last week and had a couple of dates. Felt very comfortable and there was a strong physical connection. Plenty of chat back and forth before we met and in between but now little. I’m feeling like a love sick teenager, with every What’s App notification, wondering if it’s him, wondering why he’s reading messages but taking a day to reply, why wasn’t in touch sooner given we had a lovely time, he was keen and he was a gentleman. Did I read the signals wrongly?  I’m feeling rejected and a bit confused. I wanted to be open and clean in my communications but online dating seems to be a game that has to be played and I’m not sure of the rules so may have been too much too soon. It was lovely to have male company and attention again and I unexpectedly thoroughly enjoyed myself. Having withdrawn myself for so long I don’t want to retreat again but also don’t want to be feeling this needy. 

Wondered your perspective. I know you talk of your experiences. 

Deep into THEM course I came up with the question about giving and receiving feedback.

To give some illustration to this question I can recall my own example that happed to me while giving feedback to leaders of my team at work. As I presented my point of view what's working and what could be done differently  I got the answer from two of the leaders as they both said, that this is just mine projection and point of view and that they don't see it that way. So my feedback just bounced back.

I felt cut off with this single sentence answer feeling like my opinion doesn't matter.

And as I looked at it later and also today my conclusion is that it's difficult for me to be a part of that team which doesn't accept or at least openly discussed feedback of employees. 

Being in THEM course keeps me wondering: ''Is my conclusion about this event childhood need to be heard or adult response to it''? What' real here? Is the difference that makes the difference between the two in the feeling?

'HOME The return to what you already are' by Clare Dimond  Sunday Book 

To travel a circle is to journey over the same ground time and time again. To travel a circle wisely is to journey over the same ground for the first time. In this way, the ordinary becomes extraordinary, and the circle, a path to where you wish to be. And when you notice at last that the path has circled back into itself, you realise that where you wish to be is where you have already been ... and always were.

Neale Donald Walsch

 Hi Clare,  I still stumble and ruminate about this whole notion of change. I know you answered already a lot of questions and the anwers are logical, but this system here just keeps asking and not knowing.   So the thing is: change just happens if for the system it makes no more sense to sustain a behaviour. Ok so far. And when and why this happens, who knows? Something has been seen, heard whatever. Suddenly the systems sees things differently and what made sense yesterday doesn't make sense anymore.   So this sounds like there is nothing to do, no attitude to take, no whatever to initiate this change. But still there is seeking and wanting to change. Where does this come from? And still and this is my main question there are tons of people who claim to decide to change or decide to do things differently and it worked for them. What is this then? Delusion? It was just the system ramdomly changing things and they just think they had a say in it? Or what? Do you have any thoughts on that?

Can fulfillment and satisfaction co-exist with longing/desire or does the arising of longing and desire have to arise in a system of unfulfilled needs?