Superpowered Mind with Clare Dimond

I’m currently working through Voice in your membership and have a question that is bothering me. If I start to see the illusion of me and see that the identity doesn’t exist then does that mean others disappear? If ‘I’ don’t exist then nor do ‘others’? I know this can’t be true but since the thought has passed through my mind I thought it would be helpful to ask the question since it’s clearly going to hold back my exploration! I’m quite keen for this crappy insecure identity to disappear but not my family! 

I love participating in your courses but have come to realise I am doing them in an attempt to feel better.  I experienced early trauma (I’ve never felt safe) which on reflection seems to have underpinned most of my life.  Interestingly, the ‘symptoms’ (freeze etc) of the trauma are becoming almost unbearable, whilst at the same time my conscious mind ‘piles’ on the pressure to move forward and achieve.  It simply feels impossible to achieve anything given the opposing ‘forces’ and this is becoming intolerable.

I am curious, because during my exposure the 3p and ND (8years) I have definitely witnessed others who simply cannot move forward.  Regardless of their desire to and consequently suffer the backlash of ego and remain on this relentless hamster wheel.

Could you shed any light on this? Can ND support those with early trauma?  In view of this, is Home a good fit in these circumstances.

I am really tempted to do your new Home course. It sounds really fascinating and I loved the last course I did with you year ago. My only hesitation is sometimes I felt left behind by some of the people on the course deeper into the understanding you centre on. Whilst I know comparison of ‘me’ vs ‘them’ is unhelpful it did mean I sometimes found the live sessions a little overwhelming and my brain decided a few times that I didn’t really get it and therefore it was pointless. 

I suppose what I am saying is will this start from the beginning? I am well versed in the 3p’s so it’s not the very beginning, but will it be open to all and ‘slowed down’ enough for us that are still at the start of this exploration? 

 I have read all of your books but one and I get glimpses but the books (and the course I took) tend to make me think more and get conceptual. Is your goal here to really to have many of us awaken during the course or learn more about awakening?

Busting Loose from the Money Game by Robert Scheinfeld 

Every Sunday we will look at a book that is relevant to this conversation. 

Your habit is not “you” and it is not personal. 

It is simply your brain doing what it does.

Dr Amy Johnson

We are beginning a series called Wonder-Full Words. Each Saturday we will look at a particularly powerful sentence or quote, wherever possible exploring it directly with the author.

Today's words are from Dr Amy Johnson, author or the Little Book of Big Change and Just a Thought.   https://dramyjohnson.com

I am in part aiming to transition from a career in the corporate world to a career in the third sector after voluntary work in the sector. I find myself naturally moving in that direction and really energised. One question I have been contemplating is the significant disparity in pay between the two sectors. I can see that money is a concept and as such nothing about it is ‘true’ and yet it doesn’t seem to make sense that they should be so differently paid. I appreciate that there are narratives/ beliefs around the third sector being short of money and people working in the sector get paid in fulfilment and yet I feel by accepting these and the salary that comes with them I am seeing the beliefs as true and being constrained by them. I can see at times a sense of ego popping up feeling it deserves more money and is ashamed it will not get this but when this isn’t so strong I can see that there is information in this which may be helpful. Would love to hear your thoughts on this.

I have a question about fear and avoidance. I heard you say to ask what the fear is and do it anyway and this will transform something. 

I have panic attacks as soon as I have a session (I am a therapist, or I was, because I stopped doing it). I just couldn’t tolerate this feeling anymore. I inquired into it (I feared I will die or dissolve), I felt the body sensations ( a lot, because this is where I come from as a body and movement therapist), later, when I came across the 3P I tried to see it as just thought (didn’t work), I did all sorts of traume therapy and looked at this as a client, but nothing ever helped, it got even worde and worse.  I did go on with working as a therapist anyway over years and despite feeling always better after the session (maybe just because it was over), it never improved, I was terrified before each appointment. At one point I just couldn’t stand the severe symptoms anymore and decided to stop. This was a big relief.

I thought this was maybe just the way life told me to not do this anymore. I teach apprentice therapists now in different skills like psychopathology and movement analysis, and although it’s fun and I don’t have panic attacks before teaching I feel like it’s a bit meaningless and not really using all I know and sometimes I find myself envying people who work as therapists or coaches, although I don't want to go back there. 

I’m totally confused about what life wants to show me here. Maybe you see something.

It seems we are consistently questioning reality in this understanding. 

Is there a potential in this of gaslighting ourselves? 

The question comes up in view of adverse childhood experiences. When we are babies and our identity hasn’t formed yet and our primary care takers are confused and traumatised themselves, the main survival mechanism for the brain is to conclude that „I am bad“ and later „the world is dangerous“. That seems to be running deep in the system. Sometimes when I immerse myself in this teaching, I feel like it’s confusing me more and I’m afraid of gaslighting myself into „everything is not as it seems, hence my perspective, voice, input is not valid“ along these lines.