Fighting the urges of no contact, and focusing on your progress. Stop isolating yourself. 

* Isolation creates more opportunities to fall into sadness, depression and makes us feel more anxious and trapped in a never ending cycle. We start thinking about what really happened and why did we fail? Did we fail? Are we not good enough? We become more critical in evaluating who we are, as a person and less focused on the people who purposely broke us down, because we are we’re not worthy of their time or energy. You feel like in a way that we really deserved the abuse as almost like a form of punishment, they’re right, I’ll never be good enough and what they spoke was the truth. This is your subconscious mind, believing the lies and the seeds that that a narcissist plants and is almost soul crushing. You feel like this cycle is endless, and no one can see things from your perspective because no one understands. 

* A narcissist loves isolation; one of the key ingredients to their success in helping achieve control over you. They keep tabs on you, ask about you to others, even when it’s not apparent, and never out of genuine intent. They never saw you the way you saw them, if they and when they do contact you, it’s a trap and to know if you’re still interested in being a slave to their supply needs. 

* We often try to distract ourselves from the truth by ignoring the elephant in the room, that the narcissist actually had our best interest which was an illusion. This about your past with them. They never wanted  you to be happy, or have any sense of fulfillment unless it was through them. Think about what I just said. Your happiness is through them, meaning you will never find or be happy unless they have control over your happiness. 

* Now, like many with life after a narcissist you more than likely feel like somethings missing, there’s no more secrets, no more lies and no drama in your life- why does this feel so odd? Why does not having drama feel so weird? It’s because this is much of what you became accustomed to during your time with a narcissist, . The emotional abuse takes time to break free from, as we carry around guilt, shame, sadness, anger and continue to think of ourselves the way the narcissist did.