Susan's story draws into sharp focus just how damaging family secrets can be and how they can pave the road to alcoholism and drug addiction. Like some of us recovering alcoholics, Susan experienced a traumatic event when she was a child. The natural need to tell someone and seek understanding and comfort, was quashed with a “not now” attitude by her parents. Having no one to turn to, she repressed the feelings as yet another horrible secret. The continuous fear and self-recrimination darkened the ensuing years, until she found alcohol and drugs as a teenager. Instantaneously, they had the desired effect of obfuscating the negative feelings Susan had bottled up for years. Subsequently, she became a daily user, but still functioned despite the debilitating disease. That made for a life fraught with two failed marriages. It also meant serious parenting issues, while she was befogged alcoholic blackouts, and increasingly dangerous behavior.

By the time Susan finally made it to Alcoholics Anonymous, the disease had essentially whipsawed every aspect of her life. Despite a bleak outlook, Susan went to meetings where she met her sponsor and started working the Steps. However, a couple more traumatic events occurred at five years sober. Her AA life-line was stretched almost to the breaking point. Thanks to another alcoholic who observed the fraying strands, Susan was able to hang on. But for as many meetings as she regularly attended, some of Susan’s most regrettable behavior occurred while she was in AA. Some of her darkest hours ensued during sobriety when lost virtually everything of value and meaning. Thankfully, at some point during the past several years, Susan doubled down on her Program and ardently reworked the steps to address the bad behavior and personal losses during sobriety. That work paid off, as today she lives free of secrets and loss, while imparting her hard-won experience to the women she sponsors. Those noble efforts have grown through the years and helped her establish a stronger connection to her higher power.

With 15 years sober, Susan’s daily life in AA is frequently augmented with insightful spiritual experiences. Her demonstration of the ability to pass that wisdom and hope onto others is a beauty to behold.

So sit back and enjoy the next hour of AA Recovery Interviews with my friend and AA sister, Susan A.

If you’ve enjoyed my AA Recovery Interviews series and my Big Book podcast, have a listen to Lost Stories of the Big Book, 30 Original Stories Missing from the 3rd and 4th Editions of Alcoholics Anonymous. It’s an engaging audiobook I narrated to bring these stories to life for AA members who’ve never seen them. These timeless testimonials were originally cut to make room for newer stories in the 3rd and 4th Editions. But their vitally important messages of hope are as meaningful today as when they were first published. Many listeners will hear these stories for the first time. Lost Stories of the Big Book is available on Audible, Amazon, and iTunes. It’s also available as a Kindle book and in paperback from Amazon if you’d like to read along with the audio.

Check out my Big Book Podcast, the complete unabridged audio version of the First and Second Editions of Alcoholics Anonymous. The Big Book Podcast is an engaging cover-to-cover, word-for-word reading of all 11 chapters and Personal Stories, many of which were left out of the Third and Fourth Editions. Follow us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Or listen on https://bigbookpodcast.com

[Disclaimer: AA Recovery Interviews podcast strictly adheres to AA’s 12 Traditions and all General Service Office guidelines for safe-guarding anonymity on-line. I pay all podcast production costs and no one receives financial gain from the show. AA Recovery Interviews and my guests do not speak for or represent AA at-large. This podcast is simply my way of giving back to AA that which has been so freely given to me. -Howard L.]