Research shows that putting a name to a feeling helps manage it. In this episode, three BANG! listeners talk about things they've struggled with and the steps they've taken to deal with them, plus father-daughter sex advice duo Nic and Lena Beets step in with practical advice. Today's topics: vaginismus, erectile dysfunction and period sex.

Research shows that naming feelings helps manage them.

In this episode, three BANG! listeners name the things they've struggled with and talk about the steps they've taken to deal with them. Father-daughter sex advice duo Nic and Lena Beets also offer some practical advice.

Featured below is Anna's* story, about her experience with a condition called vaginismus. Listen to the full podcast episode to hear John* talking about erectile dysfunction, and Chessie and Amy on menstruation and "period sex".

Anna was undergoing a routine pap smear when she realised something was wrong.

"I was in a lot of pain and swearing a lot at the doctor," she says. The doctor, seeing nothing wrong with Anna's vagina, continued her examination as normal despite her protestations.

After the pap smear alerted her GP to a polyp that required surgery, Anna had a follow up gynaecological exam that was equally painful. This time her doctor knew what was going on, and after a short conversation, informed Anna that she had something called vaginismus.

"She said to me 'If you ever think about having children use an epidural'... And that was pretty much the end of the conversation," says Anna.

Like any person who'd just had a medical label slapped on them with little explanation, Anna went straight home and started researching.

Described as an "involuntary contraction of muscles around the opening of the vagina in women with no abnormalities in the genital organs," vaginismus can make sexual intercourse or any activity involving vaginal penetration (including inserting a tampon) painful or impossible. People who experience it say that it feels as if a wall has appeared in the vagina. When penetration is forced (be it by a GP or when a vaginismus sufferer is trying to "push through' with a partner), it can be incredibly painful.

Primary vaginismus is when a person has never been able to enjoy pain-free vaginal penetration of any kind, and secondary vaginismus is when, like Anna, a person's sex life has been just fine and then this appears as if out of nowhere.

Vaginismus is poorly studied but is believed to occur in 1-6% of women. Sometimes there is no obvious cause, but it can be related to a belief that sex is wrong or shameful, and traumatic early childhood experiences that aren't necessarily sexual in nature. …

Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details