The Look & Sound of Leadership

Taming the Defensiveness Dragon


Listen Later

At the end of her rope, a leader asks her coach for help managing a direct report who, she says, is the most defensive person she’s ever met. 

This episode was packed with tools. We’ve put them into an easy-to-understand infographic. Download it for free here. 

Kim Scott, the best-selling author of the electric book Radical Candor, wrote a short, friendly guide with tools for handling defensive employees. Find it here.

Harvard Business Review’s Amy Gallo talked with Dave Stachowiak on this episode of the Coaching for Leaders podcast. As with every episode of Dave’s, this is indispensable. 

To work on “deserving” dive into The Four Agreements.  

To dig deeper into tools for taming defensiveness, search our podcast library in these three categories:


  • Communication Skills
  • Management Skills 
  • Relationship Building


Five specific episodes on this topic you could listen to are:

  • 7 Steps to Stop Emotional Hijacks
  • Be Impeccable with Your Word 
  • Handling Defensive Behaviors
  • Managing Bad Behavior
  • Managing Disruptive Executives


Sign up to get our monthly email with links to resources that support each episode.


Calling all COACHES! Come join our Executive Coaching special interest group (SIG) sponsored by the Los Angeles Chapter of ICF. Check out our SIG and all the others here.    

Or shoot me an email with your questions. I’m at [email protected].


All our free infographics are in the Essential Tools bin.

Your reviews supporting the show help us continue as an ad-free podcast. 


Let us know how we can support you.


Until next month, be well!


Thanks from Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership.

...more
View all episodesView all episodes
Download on the App Store

The Look & Sound of LeadershipBy Essential Communications - Tom Henschel

  • 4.8
  • 4.8
  • 4.8
  • 4.8
  • 4.8

4.8

1,121 ratings


More shows like The Look & Sound of Leadership

View all
HBR IdeaCast by Harvard Business Review

HBR IdeaCast

237 Listeners

Modern Mentor by QuickAndDirtyTips.com

Modern Mentor

696 Listeners

Coaching for Leaders by Dave Stachowiak

Coaching for Leaders

1,480 Listeners

The Strategy Skills Podcast: Strategy | Leadership | Critical Thinking | Problem-Solving by FirmsConsulting.com & StrategyTraining.com

The Strategy Skills Podcast: Strategy | Leadership | Critical Thinking | Problem-Solving

111 Listeners

How to Be Awesome at Your Job by How to be Awesome at Your Job

How to Be Awesome at Your Job

1,043 Listeners

Radical Candor: Communication at Work by Kim Scott, Jason Rosoff & Amy Sandler

Radical Candor: Communication at Work

705 Listeners

Women at Work by Harvard Business Review

Women at Work

1,371 Listeners

Speak Up: Develop Your Executive Presence & Leadership Communication Style by Laura Camacho

Speak Up: Develop Your Executive Presence & Leadership Communication Style

72 Listeners

Maxwell Leadership Executive Podcast by John Maxwell

Maxwell Leadership Executive Podcast

364 Listeners

The Modern Manager by Mamie Kanfer Stewart

The Modern Manager

186 Listeners

The Anxious Achiever by Morra Aarons-Mele

The Anxious Achiever

575 Listeners

Think Fast Talk Smart: Communication Techniques by Matt Abrahams, Think Fast Talk Smart

Think Fast Talk Smart: Communication Techniques

782 Listeners

Coaching Real Leaders by Harvard Business Review / Muriel Wilkins

Coaching Real Leaders

591 Listeners

HBR On Strategy by Harvard Business Review

HBR On Strategy

79 Listeners

HBR On Leadership by Harvard Business Review

HBR On Leadership

131 Listeners