The Look & Sound of Leadership

Taming the Defensiveness Dragon


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At the end of her rope, a leader asks her coach for help managing a direct report who, she says, is the most defensive person she’s ever met. 

This episode was packed with tools. We’ve put them into an easy-to-understand infographic. Download it for free here. 

Kim Scott, the best-selling author of the electric book Radical Candor, wrote a short, friendly guide with tools for handling defensive employees. Find it here.

Harvard Business Review’s Amy Gallo talked with Dave Stachowiak on this episode of the Coaching for Leaders podcast. As with every episode of Dave’s, this is indispensable. 

To work on “deserving” dive into The Four Agreements.  

To dig deeper into tools for taming defensiveness, search our podcast library in these three categories:


  • Communication Skills
  • Management Skills 
  • Relationship Building


Five specific episodes on this topic you could listen to are:

  • 7 Steps to Stop Emotional Hijacks
  • Be Impeccable with Your Word 
  • Handling Defensive Behaviors
  • Managing Bad Behavior
  • Managing Disruptive Executives


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Calling all COACHES! Come join our Executive Coaching special interest group (SIG) sponsored by the Los Angeles Chapter of ICF. Check out our SIG and all the others here.    

Or shoot me an email with your questions. I’m at [email protected].


All our free infographics are in the Essential Tools bin.

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Until next month, be well!


Thanks from Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership.

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