Tentpole Trauma

Riding high off his smash hit The Exorcist, director William Friedkin decided his follow-up would be a big budget remake of Henri Clouzot’s seminal suspense film Wages of Fear. Friedkin’s effort, inexplicably retitled Sorcerer, was a brutal South American shoot with Jaws star Roy Scheider in the lead, but a little movie called Star Wars exploded on to the scene, leaving Sorcerer to break down at the box office. Join Sebastian and Troy as they brave the perils of the jungle in a truck full of nitroglycerin to re-evaluate this white-knuckle bomb.

Part two of pulp hero appreciation continues with everyone’s favorite purple-suited, jungle dwelling crime fighter, the Phantom! Batman meets Indiana Jones was likely the elevator pitch that sold Paramount pictures on adapting Lee Falk’s long-running comic strip, but despite the able efforts of Billy Zane, Treat Williams, Catherine Zeta Jones and Kristy Swanson, the Ghost Who Walks took a nosedive at the box office. Join Sebastian and guest host Matt Anderson as they slam evil and take on the mantle of this oft-mocked but memorable adventure romp.

Who knows what box office disappointments lurk in the hearts of men? Coming in the — pun intended — shadow of Tim Burton’s mega hit Batman, 1994’s The Shadow tried to capture a similar pulpy magic. But despite a strong turn by Alec Baldwin in the titular role, the hoped-for superhero franchise never materialized. Join Sebastian and Matt as they pluck the weed of crime and taste the bitter fruit of this maligned but enjoyable crimefighting caper.

Look… up in the sky… it’s a bird… it’s a dame… it’s… a big budget flop! The Superman franchise was starting to stumble by the time Supergirl made her big screen debut in 1984, and despite the star power of Faye Dunaway and Peter O’Toole the film proved further kryptonite at the box office and with critics. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they unravel the mysteries of the omegahedron and take flight with this bugnuts slice of superhero cinema.

Armed with a high-priced Shane Black script and starring Bruce Willis at the height of his action hero stardom, Tony Scott’s The Last Boy Scout was poised to be a 1991 Christmas season juggernaut. But lackluster reviews and a disappointing box office take tarnished the film’s reputation until it emerged as a cult classic several decades later. Join Sebastian and Rodney at the kickoff line as they battle on the gridiron over this compellingly mean-spirited underperformer.

Reuniting the team behind Scream for a post-modern take on the werewolf genre seemed like a dream…until it devolved into a nightmare. Years of reshoots and production hell truly earned Wes Craven’s Cursed its name, and when it eventually hit theaters in 2005 audiences and critics were howling for blood. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they attempt to reevaluate and show pity for this catastrophic lycanthropic misfire.

2012’s Snow White and the Huntsman was something of a surprise hit, so it’s no surprise that Universal Studios ordered a sequel. Unfortunately by the time 2016 rolled around both director Rupert Sanders and star Kristen Stewart were off on other projects, leaving Chris Hemsworth and Charlize Theron to shoulder the film along with newcomers Jessica Chastain and Emily Blunt, resulting in an icy reception. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they consult the magic mirror to determine why The Huntsman: Winter’s War failed to be a box office fairy tale.

The film industry was hungry for fantasy franchises after the success of Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings, and while Philip Pullman’s His Dark Materials series didn’t seem an obvious choice, there was certainly potential in its alternate dimensional vision and chosen one narrative. But despite the presence Nicole Kidman, Daniel Craig, Eva Green and cgi polar bears, Chris Weitz’s muddled effort, renamed The Golden Compass, failed to ignite the imagination of audiences and critics, bombing at the box office and sinking any hopes of the sequel it shamelessly set up. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they desperately try to find direction in this mess of YA steampunk, talking animals and confused world-building.

Hopes were high for the launch of Universal’s “Dark Universe”, a full slate of high profile, interconnected, big budget blockbusters that would revive the classic line-up of Universal Monsters. With mega-star Tom Cruise tapped to headline the first official effort — an action packed reboot of The Mummy directed by A-list writer Alex Kurtzman — success seemed all but inevitable, and yet the film tanked badly with audiences and critics. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they crack open the sarcophagus and attempt to dispel the franchise-killing curse that clings to this much maligned mummified misfire.

The Predator franchise was in something of a fallow period by the end of the previous decade, so when it was announced that genre hotshot Shane Black would be resurrecting the series, along with former collaborator Fred Dekker, there was cause for excitement among film fans. Sadly the end result was not the action/sci fi horror film most had hoped for — so what went wrong? Join badasses Sebastian, Chris and Rodney as they get to the chopper and hunt down this confused and frustrating flop.