Tentpole Trauma

Not to be confused with the 90s death cult of the same name, Michael Cimino’s Heaven’s Gate, was, for a time, synonymous with the words “box office bomb”. Credited with ending the auteur driven studio system of the 70s, the Oscar winning director’s epic western was an exercise in excess, from the wildly bloated budget, to the interminable running time, to the star-studded but underutilized cast. Join Sebastian and Troy as they storm the gates of heaven to reevaluate a film that, for better or worse, changed the course of cinema history.

Stephen King's The Dark Tower fantasy series has been a long-gestating white whale project in Hollywood, passing through countless development hands and having many promising false starts. Hopes were high when a feature film finally came to fruition in 2017 starring Idris Elba as the heroic Gunslinger and Matthew McConaughey as his Man in Black nemesis, only to be dashed when the film arrived as a slapdash, woefully truncated pastiche with little fealty to the beloved source material or its iconic characters, gunning down any hopes of a viable franchise.  Join Sebastian and Dark Tower superfan Rodney as they forget the faces of their fathers, as well as much of this movie, as they attempt to make sense of this mangled mess of an IP cash-in.

Madman director Paul Verhoeven was riding high off of several blockbuster successes when he re-teamed with Basic Instinct writer and fellow madman Joe Ezterhaus for a film about the sordid lives of Las Vegas showgirls. Their resulting collaboration, 1995’s Showgirls, was met with resounding box office failure and critical derision, tanking the career of its unlikely lead, Saved By the Bell’s Elizabeth Berkeley. Join Sebastian, Jennifer and Violent Night writer Josh Miller as they hit the stage to celebrate this piece of celluloid insanity that has since gone on to be recognized as a cult cinema masterpiece.

He-Man and the Masters of the Universe may have been past their prime by 1987, but that didn’t stop shlockmeisters Golan and Globus from capitalizing on the popular toy and cartoon property by attempting a big budget film adaptation. Despite casting a near-perfect He-Man in Dolph Lundgren and boasting up and comer Courteney Cox, as well as a delightfully hammy Frank Langella in the role of the villainous Skeletor, the film tanked with fans and critics and helped to bankrupt Cannon films. Join Sebastian and Richard as they grasp for the power and grapple with this campy 80s fantasy misfire.

Spirits were high for A list screenwriter David Koepp’s sophomore directorial outing, an adaptation of the Richard Matheson short story A Stir of Echoes. But despite the presence of leading man Kevin Bacon, the film’s release was six degrees too close to another mega hit ghost story with a similar premise, burying Koepp’s otherwise solid effort in an early box office grave. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they unearth this underrated late 90s supernatural thriller and discuss whether or not it has achieved cult status post mortem.

Following the high profile failure of Lady In the Water, famed director M. Night Shyamalan ignored the naysayers and doubled down on absurd high concepts with 2008’s The Happening. The results were resoundingly mocked by fans and critics alike, dragging down the director’s already sinking reputation, as well as the careers of leads Mark Wahlberg and Zooey Deschanel. Join Sebastian and Jennifer for a cool lemon drank as they attempt to justify this loopy and enjoyably ludicrous happening.

It’s a post Christmas miracle from Pandora — Tentpole Trauma sees you, and you’ve been very nice this year, so as a gift we give you this month’s Tentpole Triumph discussion of Avatar as a bonus episode! Join Sebastian, Chris and Rodney as they finally hash it out over the #1 box office champ of all time, director James Cameron and what they anticipate from the long awaited sequel Avatar: The Way of Water. If you like what you hear, consider becoming a Patreon subscriber at — https://www.patreon.com/tentpoletrauma to get more Triumph in your life. Happy Holidays from everyone at the Tentpole Trauma family!

Many expected that James Cameron’s long promised adaptation of the famed manga Battle Angel Alita would never materialize, but when the megastar director conceded the reigns to Robert Rodriguez, the project was at last brought to life. Sadly, the uncanny valley effect of the film’s bug-eyed CG protagonist did not entice large audiences, and while well regarded by fans of the manga, the response was not effusive enough to guarantee the sequel promised in the film’s ending. Join Sebastian, Chris and Rodney as they strip this cyborg for parts and debate if there’s still a way forward for this cyberpunk wannabe franchise.

How do you follow up the wildly successful original Star Wars trilogy? If you’re George Lucas, you get your buddy Ron Howard to direct a Lord of the Rings riff starring Val Kilmer and the actor who played the lead Ewok in Return of the Jedi! The resulting film, 1988’s curiously titled Willow, did not conjure magic at the box office, but has engendered enough fan good will to spawn a current Disney + series. Join swashbuckling buddies Sebastian and Richard as they revisit this staple of 80s cinematic fantasy and give their thoughts on the whether or not the new show is worthy to wear the name “Willow”.