That Happens

We hit a real milestone this week and decided the only appropriate way to celebrate was with the triumphant return of the Dour Hour, a healthy dose of existential dread, and a time-travel plot so convoluted it makes the MCU look coherent. A mysterious, dying visitor claiming to be "us, but from the future" shows up begging for help preventing a mysterious anomaly from destroying the podcast (and possibly the universe), and against our better judgment, we go along with it.

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Alright, chat, We're back with a Robert De Niro impression that doesn't have legs, a hostile takeover of Schrab Home Video, and a heartfelt discussion about whether saying "chat" out loud in real life is a bit or a cry for help. Spencer breaks down why this podcast is basically a turtle? Surviving 249 episodes purely by refusing to move, grow, or improve, because maybe, just maybe, the Spleen bit has plateaued.Then it's soda review corner, where we crack open an Italian blood orange beverage and a Canada Dry strawberry ginger ale, and we workshop a full unified theory of why "refreshers" are taking over gas stations. From there we spiral into an extremely legally-vetted, extremely non-political metaphor involving an uncle, a barbecue, a stroke, six million dollars of prime rib, missing missiles, and Crazy Jeff doing butterfly knife tricks near the children... pure coincidence if any of it sounds familiar. We also get into some real talk about masking, meatspace vs. podcast-space personalities, psychic drawings, being wrongly (or rightly??) diagnosed as bipolar via email, and why internet micro-celebrities are the new tabloid targets now that actual celebrities are too rich to care. Grab a refresher and settle in. Nothing happens, but it happens with maybe a good episode.

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This week, Kevin has lost his voice, so in his place we welcome a very special honk-based replacement guest who may or may not be an actual honk-girl (spoiler: it's Amelia Marino, Doughboys associate producer, professional poop-reviewer, and reluctant TikTok comment-section warlord).

We cover the essentials: why air conditioner repairmen are secretly all undercover conservatives who gaslight you about humidity, the deep lore of curly hair maintenance, and a heartfelt tribute to Mr. Biao, the TikTok legend who dries wet things and wets dry things for reasons no one can fully explain. We also get a rare and vulnerable look behind the curtain of Amelia's ongoing identity crisis: she's tired of being known for her poop-adjacent humor and wants a full image rebrand. So we workshop options like Amelia Bedelia, Ameals on Wheels, and Salvation Armelia, none of which fully escape the poop of it all.

Along the way: a surprisingly deep dive into the emotional economics of being a Doughboys PA, a mutual confession of unclockable improv-anxiety, a very good "Scorpion Tales" podcast pitch involving Amelia's dad, and a rousing round of "What's Kevin's Deal" that gets solved almost immediately, threatening the very structure of the segment itself. Also: bug reviews, marine biology dreams, thrifted Brooks Brothers sweater vests, and a passionate defense of humidity as a personality trait.

This week's focus is mental health, chronic illness, honking, and the eternal question of whether you can ever truly rebrand away from diarrhea-heavy content.

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This week we let YouTube's AI suggest future episodes, resulting in gems like "Spencer reads your toxic parenting books while Kevin plays high-stakes countdown" and other completely incomprehensible AI slop that somehow still sounds like something we'd actually do. We spiral into a real conversation about whether AI is hitting a wall or just getting weirder, complete with tangents on math proofs, translation earbuds, and a demonetization streak we're desperately trying not to jinx.

Then it's a full taste-test of disappointing Miller Lite-flavored Pringles (beer cheeseburger, beer braised steak, and beer battered onion rings) alongside a lineup of Japanese grape candies, because no episode is complete without Kevin subjecting Spencer to mystery snacks. We also open the mailbag for listener emails covering chaos magic, egregores, servitors, Thelema, tulpas, whether Alistair Crowley was really summoning demons or just tripping balls, and an extremely unhinged improvised origin story (courtesy of the Spleen) explaining exactly how Kevin ended up working with Dan Harmon in the first place.

Along the way: a genuinely emotional detour into breakup anger, limerence, and the impossibility of ever getting real closure, a Baki anime rant that gets surprisingly not-safe-for-YouTube, and a serious discussion about whether AI-written podcast blurbs are secretly just what dreams sound like to someone who wasn't there. Grab a sad beer-flavored chip and settle in.

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Honk, honk, folks! Mike Mitchell (of Doughboys fame) stops by the "studio" to hang with Kevin and the Spleen, and things immediately spiral in the best way. We cover the sacred art of recording ads in your closet, why the future of podcasting is probably just one guy who sleeps and streams in the same room, and how to know your favorite sponsor might secretly be a evil corporation.

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This week, we survive their own opening theme song getting cut off at the worst possible time, so we ponder the eternal mystery of what exactly gets a podcast demonetized, and somehow still manage to get demonetized anyway. We've got The Spleen's shocking skydiving related divorce announcement, a deep dive into why people binge relisten to old comedy podcasts they claim to hate, and some very unqualified therapy speak about internet strangers with emotional neglect wounds.

Then it's time for the main event: a truly unhinged taste test of Bush's Best limited edition Apple Pie, Dill Pickle, and Rocket Pop flavored beans, live and (mostly) uncooked. Spoiler alert: the beans do not go well, Kevin nearly vomits off camera, and we debate whether canned bean colloids belong anywhere near dessert. It's ASMR for people who hate themselves.

We close out with some big brain nonsense about anime nostalgia, TESCREALism, AI psychosis, Sam Altman conspiracy theories, and whether Elon Musk's Hyperloop was ever real to begin with. Plus, a heartfelt discussion on capitalism eating creative labor, because why not throw some late-stage capitalism dread in with your bean reviews?

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Spencer and Kevin are back with a "political roundtable" that spirals almost immediately, featuring special guests Brentz Platner(?), a beeping Mitch McConnell(??), and the late Lindsey Graham(???), channeled via Baba Yaga because Spencer can't do the voice. From there we cover McConnell's mysterious health saga, Maine's messiest Senate race gossip, and why AI-generated food photos on delivery apps look like they're covered in acne.

Of course, no episode is complete without a soda taste test: this time it's the return of Mountain Dew Supernova, plus a deep dive into the forgotten history of Mountain Dew's "Dew-mocracy" flavor elections (RIP Revolution and Typhoon, we hardly knew ye). We also get sidetracked into biohacker Bryan Johnson's autoimmune disease, gold-injecting influencers who think ancient alchemists cracked immortality, a surprisingly heady tangent on Greek "genius" vs. Roman "daemon" concepts and narcissism, and the great Wild Cherry Pepsi tweet discourse of the week (is "permission" now a slur, or did everyone just have assault on the brain because of the news cycle?).

We close things out with a weird dive into the data center water usage panic, with Kevin bringing actual industry insight on cooling systems, UV filtration, and why the viral "cyclospora outbreak caused by data centers" theory doesn't quite hold water (pun intended). Politics, parasites, Pepsi discourse, and a vintage computer terminal cameo is just another That Happens for us.

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Now That’s What I Call Happens! Volume 9! Party with The Spleen while you enjoy this rehash of old bits from That Happens! It’ll have you saying "Now That’s What I Call Happens!"

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We kick things off with The Spleen at war with robot delivery drones after Spencer got revenge on Chipotle's automated phone system in the most creative way possible. Zoom's aggressively updated facial tracking software keeps mistaking a Jigglypuff plushie for Spencer's face, then we debate the finer points of anti-drone technology including tandem puppets and dazzle camouflage.

From there we drift into a full breakdown of the Ice Cube War of the Worlds movie that came out in 2025 after apparently sitting on a shelf for five years, and we cover all the reasons aliens who travel across the galaxy specifically to eat data make absolutely no scientific sense. Kevin licks a battery for content, immediately regrets it, then accidentally covers his hands and keyboard in blue dye. The Mountain Dew Dunkin' donuts get reviewed (a slightly sad lemon loaf), alongside a Canada Dry strawberry ginger ale that smells better than it tastes.

We also get serious for a bit: The election was probably rigged (twice, different people each time), Gaza and voter apathy are actually connected, and the blood is on all our hands whether you voted or not. Then we pivot to the 35th anniversary of Sonic the Hedgehog, why the original ugly movie design was an inexcusable disaster, and a spirited debate about base-12 mathematics sparked by a listener manifesto. If you're searching for: weird snack reviews, political rants, AI drone paranoia, Sonic anniversary, election conspiracy theories, base-12 math, or just two guys completely failing to run a competent video call... this is That Happens.

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We kick things off with Sir Spleenington, the distinguished British predecessor to Spencer's lovably grating alter ego "The Spleen", hiding from Flock cameras and ankle monitors while Spencer attempts to explain that this podcast is technically an American reboot of a British podcast. Kevin actually laughs audibly, which may be a first in recorded history.

From there, we cover the very real and very poisonous warehouse fire burning in Boyle Heights, LA, where Spencer went out handing N95 masks to street vendors who promptly did not put them on. We also get into the World Cup bringing tourists to America who are discovering chips and salsa, bottomless refills, and tailgating for the first time, leading to what is probably an AI-generated viral tweet about a Japanese man being spiritually defeated by a basket of tortilla chips at a Mexican restaurant.

Then things get truly personal. Spencer recounts a weekend of cascading indignities: a terrible fake-Caesar wrap from Doghaus, a multi-hour Chipotle customer service odyssey involving AI phone bots, a rude supervisor, a robot that hung up on him, and a very long drive to find no crispy chicken. A Magic: The Gathering card he wanted wasn't even in the deck it was supposed to be in. He survived all of this, and his emotional recovery time is getting shorter, which we declare as growth.

We close out with Spencer pitching a structured belief system built around summoning a personal "familiar", essentially harnessing the placebo effect and humanity's religious tendencies into something useful and non-cult-shaped. Kevin says he'd join immediately. Spencer considers writing a self-help book. The Spleen is somewhere hiding from cameras.

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