The Anxious Love Coach

I tried to break up multiple times with both my long-term partners of whom I experienced ROCD with -- and a hard majority of those "pull-aways" happened around the holidays. Back then the timing seemed so random, but I see today something much deeper was going on and that this emotional inner turmoil was actually a pattern in hindsight. In this episode, I share how the holidays can exacerbate relationship anxiety and what you can do about it.

A common theme with relationship anxiety is the fierce struggle for reconciliation between wanting to be independent and dependent. Tune in with my friend Mollie Birney, a clinical coach with an eye for mental health, as we dive into the truth about peoples' relationships to independence and how it can be a trauma response that blocks us from experiencing intimacy and connection.

You're not attracted to a partner you control — and controlling behavior is a common way to avoid feeling "out of control." However, it's a huge contributor to feelings of dissatisfaction and disgust in relationship and ROCD. In this episode, I cover how to identify when we're stepping into controlling behaviors, how to have compassion for ourselves when this happens, why this doesn't serve you or the partnership, and what to do instead.

In a culture of cancellation that tells you to leave when you're not feeling it, the perspective to stay and do a deep dive into yourself instead of dropping out of the relationship, may be a controversial one. In this episode we normalize falling out of love, while also giving you 10 steps to restore your faith in the partnership.

In this episode, I interview one of my incredible coaching and meditation clients, Shannon, who came to me struggling with Relationship OCD/Relationship Anxiety. She shares what her awakening process looked like without the fluff, and the new wisdom she has acquired. She also gives warm encouragement and suggestions for those who are in the swamp of ROCD right now. You can find the video up on my Youtube channel.

One of my biggest fears in the past was that I'd be perceived as a narcissist. I resorted to frequent people-pleasing so people could think I was "good" in order to try and prevent this. Problem is, it led me to being more resentful and self-centered anyway around people I loved (including my partner). People tell you "if you worry you're a narcissist, you aren't one" but there's more to it than that. If you ever worry you're a narcissist and would like to get relief from this worry, this episode is for you!

When I was in the thick of Relationship Anxiety, comments like:

• "maybe you should leave"
• "maybe he's just not the right person for you"
• "you're young, maybe you just need to explore"

were enough to send me into a gut-wrenching spiral of anxiety. In this episode, I get to the root of why this is so painful and also how you can respond.

When you're experiencing relationship anxiety, hearing "trust your gut" or "listen to your intuition" can be one of the most triggering things you can hear. Is your intuition telling you to leave, or is it ROCD? Tune in with Chelsea Joy Horton, OCD specialist with her masters in dance movement therapy and counseling. Together we share the more accurate measurements of determining how to trust your decision about your partner.

In this episode, I uncover the psychology of resistance to sex with our partners, along with the techniques I use to release this resistance and open up to intimacy in the bedroom.

We're talking what to do if your relationship anxiety causes you to be attracted to someone else! "If you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you truly loved the first, you wouldn't have fallen in love with the second." I dissected this popular quote (which is loaded) by Johnny Depp over on Instagram live and give you strategies for pulling out of the fantasy and reconnecting with your partner.