Having a strong mindset in relationships can be a big game-changer. Our mindset affects the way we think, feel, and behave–so it makes a big difference if we come from a mindset of “why bother?” (victim mindset) or “I can’t change anyway” (fixed mindset) as compared to a mindset of “I can influence my life and relationship (creator mindset) or “I am not there yet–but I am getting there” (growth mindset). 

And this January, I am going to be focused on helping you strengthen your relationship mindset! Strengthening my mindset has helped me go from feeling stuck and helpless to empowered and confident in my relationship. (No, not 100% of the time, not perfectly–but enough to make a difference!)

Today’s episode gives you an exciting sneak-peek into Day 1 of my upcoming 7-Day Challenge: Strengthening Your Relationship Mindset in 2025. The challenge is taking place inside the You Love and You Learn Patreon membership, and you can join here for just $7/month!

Join the Patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/YouLoveandYouLearn

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Nate and I celebrated 8 years together yesterday, and I wanted to take some time to reflect on what I’ve learned in our time together. The 8 lessons I explore in more detail are:

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I am so excited to bring you this conversation with Dr. Courtney Paré, a licensed naturopathic doctor, holistic anxiety coach, speaker, and author. Courtney empowers those facing anxiety and OCD to experience greater peace and confidence in their lives and relationships, and just published her first book Overcoming Relationship Anxiety! 

I had a chance to read the book and it’s fantastic. I know this resource and the wisdom Courtney shares in this episode will be useful for anyone who experiences relationship anxiety. 

For more of Courtney’s work:

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I can’t believe we’re already at episode 100 of this podcast! After sitting down with 50 guests, there were many lessons learned about love that I wanted to recap and share–so I went back and listened to the final question I ask all guests; “what is one thing you have learned about love that you want to leave listeners with?”

I found that there were 7 key categories of these lessons, so I went more into depth about each one and am sharing the key ideas from my wise guests over the last couple years.

The 7 key categories were:

To those who have listened to the podcast–THANK YOU!! Cheers to the next 100 episodes.

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In this episode I am back with past guest, Ela Topcuoglu, who is a Life Transition Coach that helps us intentionally move through life’s big milestone moments (that can often be challenging for someone with anxiety). Things like moving in together, getting engaged, a breakup, changing jobs, or looking ahead to marriage. 

One stage of transitions in particular, the limbo stage (in between the old life and the new) can be particularly uncomfortable and confusing, so Ela is back to explore:

If you’ve ever felt stuck between where you were and where you’re going, this episode is for you!

For more of Ela’s work:

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In this episode, I sit down with Lily Sais, a former school psychologist turned registered Three Principles practitioner, whose journey has taken her from anxiety to a place of peace. Lily is passionate about helping others uncover the peace that already lies within them, beneath anxious thoughts (the peace that already lies within…LOVE!)

We cover:

…and more!

For more of Lily’s work:

https://www.peace-from-within.com/pfwcommunity

https://www.instagram.com/_peacefromwithin/

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Over the years, there is a recurring ‘theme’ that brings up discomfort for me within my relationship, and that is when things feel boring or mundane. It used to really freak me out, and I would jump to thinking I had to go find a more exciting partner or relationship.

I still have these moments of judging the boredom, but when I pause to reflect further, I see things a little differently now: as a chance to pour into my life more intentionally, vs. placing the relationship or Nate on a pedestal.

In this episode, I explore how I am setting intentions this winter to intentionally show up for myself and nurture 3 key areas:

These are 3 key areas that Robert Johnson shares in his book (We: Understanding the Psychology of Romantic Love) to take the projection off our partner to complete us and make us whole. Excited to share this with you so you can take the time to reflect on these key areas, too!

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This is a long overdue episode to explore signs of what an abusive relationship is and isn’t. I often give the disclaimer “my work does not apply to abusive relationships” and wanted to have a licensed therapist explain the types of abuse so people are aware.

And who better than Dr. Molly Burrets, a licensed clinical psychologist based in Los Angeles with 15 years of experience practicing psychotherapy, conducting research, and teaching at the undergraduate and graduate levels. 

In the episode, we mentioned resources for people experiencing abuse in an intimate relationship:

peaceoverviolence.org

Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network (RAINN) – 800.656.HOPE (4673)

National Domestic Violence Hotline – 800.799.SAFE (7233), 800.787.3224 TDD

Books:

The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize It and How to Respond

by Patricia Evans

The Dance of Anger: A Woman’s Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships

by Harriet Lerner

The Emotionally Abused Woman: Overcoming Destructive Patterns and Reclaiming Yourself

by Beverly Engel

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma

by Bessel van der Kolk

For more of Molly’s work, check out:

www.drmollyburrets.com

www.instagram.com/drmollyburrets

In this episode, I unpack the phrase “when you know you know” and how I used to take this phrase very literally, which caused a lot of anxiety and pressure on me. I deconstruct what it actually means to ‘know’ something or have ‘knowledge’, as well as the characteristics of someone who is more likely to ‘know’ something within their relationship or life. 

If you’ve ever heard someone say they “just knew” their partner was the one and felt crappy about it (“what do they know, and how do they know it?!”) – this episode is for you!

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Does it feel like you’re doing all the ‘right’ things but you’re still not happy? Does it feel like everyone around you seems to be happier than you, and you feel so guilty about it?

What if this wasn’t a flaw or something you’re doing wrong – and we have been getting happiness wrong all along? In this episode, I sat down with Stephanie Harrison of @newhappyco to explore what happiness is and isn’t, and how we can take small steps to become more happy and fulfilled in our lives.

For more of Stephanie and New Happy, check out: www.thenewhappy.com

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