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Join me and editor extraordinaire Lilly Dancyger as we discuss her latest book, First Love, an intimate, electric collection of essays on friendship, identity, and what it means to grow into yourself in community. During our conversation, Lilly shares her sharp insights on the craft of memoir, why she bristles at the idea of writing as catharsis, and how she pushes back against the dead girl trope by keeping her cousin Sabina fully alive on the page. If you’ve ever wondered how to turn memory into art without falling into the trap of polishing your pain, this one’s for you.

Episode Highlights

• 3:36: The Problem of Connecting Memoir with Catharsis
• 10:12: Essays as a Space for Play and Variation
• 13:04: Showing Intimacy on the Page
• 21:12: Zooming In and Zooming Out
• 27:00: Pushing Against the Dead Girl Trope
• 33:44: Strategies for Cleansing Your Creative Palette 

Resources for this Episode: 

• Canceling My Book Deal Was the Best Career Move I’ve Ever Made” by Lilly Dancyger
• “Why Your Memoir Won’t Sell” by Jane Friedman
• More Than True Crime with Sarah Perry 

Lilly’s Bio: Lilly Dancyger is the author of First Love: Essays on Friendship, and Negative Space. Her work has been published by The New York Times, The Atlantic, The Washington Post, Playboy, and Rolling Stone, among others, and she writes the Substack newsletter The Word Cave. Dancyger lives in New York City, and teaches creative nonfiction in the MFA programs at Columbia University and Randolph College.

Connect with Lilly: 

• Website: https://www.lillydancyger.com/
• Substack: https://substack.com/@lillydancyger
• Blue Sky: @lillydancyger.bsky.social
• Instagram: @lillydancyger on Instagram

Sign up for Revise Your Memoir series: https://bit.ly/4ooLTDi

Connect with your host, Lisa:
Get Your Free Copy of Ditch Your Inner Critic: https://lisacooperellison.com/subscribe/
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Produced by Espresso Podcast Production