The Assistant Principal Podcast

177: Leaning In and Listen with Alex Auriemma

About this show (Teaser from outline)

I am keeping this teaser short because I cannot wait to get into today’s conversation. Back in August I encouraged listeners to ask their veteran teachers three questions. The questions were designed to help you learn more about your teachers and to help them feel listened to and valued. Today’s guest, a practicing assistant principal, used those questions and she’s here to share how it went, what she learned, and what her next steps will be.

Notable Quotes

Guest: Alex Auriemma

• “It’s not just something I did with my 22 teachers, it’s something we, collectively as a cabinet, have done with all our teachers…”
• “It was so great to hear teachers gloat about what makes them awesome!”
• “The sequencing of the questions is the magic to the sauce”
• “It was so much of me not leading; it was them just sharing.”
• “It’s not a me conversation, it’s an us conversation.”
• Having theses conversations… I just was present. My commitment is to stay that present.”

  
  

Frederick:

• “It was something very important because it said, “I hear you, I see you, I value you.”
• “Any time we can take a practice and do it as a leadership team collectively, it just amplifies the benefit.”

Guest Links:

Email: [email protected]

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alexandra-loredo-auriemma-94286991/

Frederick’s Links:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.frederickbuskey.com/ 

LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/strategicleadershipconsulting 

Daily Email subscribe: https://adept-experimenter-3588.ck.page/ff61713840 

Hello Colleagues and welcome to another 5 for Friday episode of The Assistant Principal Podcast!

Today’s shout out goes to… my incredible book reviewers. My book on how to move from spending time on tasks to investing time in people id tentatively scheduled for publication in March. 

One way to tell if people really care about you is to ask for critical feedback. People who aren’t really invested with say things like, “great job” or “looks good.” People who care about you will make specific suggestions about how to improve and why they are making those suggestions. So thank you to the following people for helping me create a better book to help people on their leadership journey:

• Dr. Justin Nutter, assistant superintendent of Lexington 4 SD in Lexington, SC
• Maria Werner, Founding Principal of Green Charter School, Simpsonville, SC
• Dr. Heidi Von Dohlan, Associate Professor and Program Director of the NC School Executive Leadership Program (NCSELP) at Western Carolina University, Cullowhee NC
• Eleanor MaCauley, Principal, Fairview School, Sylva NC
• Katie Joiner, AP, Mid-Carolina Middle School, Newberry SC
• Dr. Efraín Martinez, Princcpal, Conrad Fischer Elementary School and host of the Wisdom and Porductivety podcast, Elmhurst Illinois
• Dr. Sam Sircey, Prinpal (retired), Buncombe County Schools, NC

What a stellar group of leaders – thank you for helping me be a better leader!

Today’s episode of Five for Friday recaps the strategic leadership emails for the week of Nov. 6-10, 2023. 

1. The week’s emails:

The takeaway: 

I think the common thread this week was assumptions.

• I may assume that what happens this time will be the same as what happens next time
• I assume you aren’t in trauma, or there is nothing I can do to support you.
• I assume I have the answers to helping you become self sufficient.
• I assume you see the same value in something as I do.

I think what’s really happening here is that we are operating on patterns. Our brains are great at creating patterns to guide our behavior so we don’t become paralyzed with decision-making. But those patterns can lead us to making assumptions and those assumptions can have negative impacts on our leadership.

So, what can you do?

• What’s not working?
• Who needs your support?
• Your own condition?

That is this week’s Five for Friday rendition of The Assistant Principal Podcast. 

Thank you for including me on your leadership journey. 

I look forward to seeing you again next Tuesday… 

Please remember to subscribe and rate this podcast. As I record this, we have climbed to 21 ratings and 6 reviews! What if we could reach 50 ratings by the end of the year? How cool would that be? Increasing those numbers helps others find the show.  

I love hearing from you. So please consider emailing me at [email protected].

Share a story, a reaction to the show, or a request or suggestion. I do respond to every suggestion.

I’m Frederick Buskey and thank you again for joining me on this episode of the Assistant Principal Podcast. Have a great weekend, get outside, laugh, and live! Cheers!

Resources:

Frederick’s Links:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.frederickbuskey.com/ 

LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/strategicleadershipconsulting 

Daily Email subscribe: https://adept-experimenter-3588.ck.page/ff61713840 

For years I have done management and discipline trainings for new teachers. For years, those trainings changed little. Recently though, by approach has shifted. I’m now focusing on helping teachers build positive classroom cultures, by attending to three elements:

1.     First and most importantly are relationship

2.     Second is classroom management

3.     Third is classroom safety, which is more accurate term than discipline.

I’m in the process of developing a series of virtual courses for teachers, but also for leaders, because there are some things I think we need to change.

Hello Colleagues and welcome to another 5 for Friday episode of The Assistant Principal Podcast!

The week’s emails:

1. What makes a good hike?
2. The impact of alignment on culture
3. The 3-day pocket door series
   1. Made a mistake – what should I do?
   2. The importance of information, especially opportunity cost
   3. We must know others to understand their opportunity cost (e.g. new teacher who is struggling with what to focus on)

Today’s show will touch on a number of important things:·      Why do great teachers leave their schools, or education?    What makes a great leader?   If you don’t trust a teacher to manage their own growth, what can you do about it?     What do teachers want?If any of those sound interesting to you, then you should definitely enjoy today’s show!

Notable Quotes

Guest: Caitlin Mitchell

“But I wasn't getting a ton of support from my admin and about three and a half years into being a teacher, I left”

I knew that I had to do something differently because the system of education was not going to change. So I needed to show up differently as an educator in order to allow myself to be insulated, if you will, from this larger system of education.

what we hear from our teachers all the time is a lack of trust and a lack of autonomy in their decision making.

If you really step back and take a look at what actions are you showing are your actions aligning with the beliefs and the values and the words that you're saying?

“Let's remove the ‘me’ in this equation as the assistant principal.”

“The quality of our life is determined by the quality of the questions that we ask.”

A players don’t want to work for B leaders

With great leadership comes belief in self

Frederick:

one thing we want assistant principals to get better at is aligning those systems to make it easier for teachers to do the work they know how to do.

we get so accustomed to thinking we have to have the answers, right? We help people because we have the answers. And that is the absolute reverse thing that we need to be doing with our veteran teachers. Well, any of our teachers, our teachers have the answers. So instead of asking, we need to be, instead of Telling we need to be listening.

The value is not in that telling it's in the listening.

Cailin’s Links:

Website: https://ebacademics.com/

Instagram: @ebacademics

Facebook: EB Academics for Teachers

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@EBAcademics

Podcast: Teaching Middle School ELA

Book: The Empowered ELA Teacher https://www.ebteacher.com/book

Dr. Becky Good Inside: https://www.goodinside.com

Frederick’s Links:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.frederickbuskey.com/ 

LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/strategicleadershipconsulting 

Daily Email subscribe: https://adept-experimenter-3588.ck.page/ff61713840 

Hello Colleagues and welcome to another 5 for Friday episode of The Assistant Principal Podcast!

Today’s shout out goes to Matthew Downing, host of the DivingDeep EDU podcast. Matthew was recently promoted to the role of Supervisor of elementary Instructional Technology wih the Upper Darby School District in Pennsylvania. Matthew has also been having other great adventures and in the midst of all that was kind enough to have me on Episode 58 of the Diving Deep EDU podcast where we talked about the journey from urgent to strategic. I’ll put a link to the podcast in the show notes.

Today’s episode of Five for Friday recaps the strategic leadership emails for the week of October 16-20, 2023. 

If leadership is influence, as leadership guru John Maxwell states, how do we influence people?

If you read this week’s emails, you already know the answer is power.

Embracing the power to lead is critical for several reasons:

1. All forms of power are not created equal. You need to know the benefits and liabilities of each form.
2. Because you hold power to influence others, you have an ethical obligation to use your power wisely and to care for those whom you influence with your power.
3. Understanding the sources of your power allows you to cultivate and increase your power.
4. Most forms of power are not hierarchical, meaning you can exert power – LEAD – regardless of your hierarchical position. You don’t need to wait to lead. Use your power to lead NOW.

Instead of recapping each day, I want to run through the forms of power and provide examples of how each one can be used by different members in your school.

Five forms of power:

• Legitimate
  • T to S
  • P to T
  • S to P
  • Leads to compliance “Because I said so”
• Informational
  • T: information on college applications
  • P: classroom and teaching assignments
  • DO: rubric for the grant
  • Some people withhold information as a way of keeping control which has a two-edged impact on their influence (increases and diminishes at the same time)
• Expert
  • Chemistry teacher to future MD; reading teacher to future author
  • AP who can teach others to ask engaging questions of students, OR ask reflective questions to teachers to get them to their own answers
  • “You can help me get to where I want to go”
• Reward
  • T to S: A, gold star, praise, note home
  • AP to T: promotion, coveted teaching assignment, responsibilities, input/voice, sticky notes, social media recognition, Friday jeans day, donuts
  • “Look at me”
• Coercive
  • T to S: F, referral/write-up/detention, silent lunch, note/call home, expressing disappointment
  • AP to T: Contractual hits, “write ups”, teaching assignments, scheduling, isolation, intimidation, threats
  • “Do this or else!”
  • Creates resentment
• Referent
  • “My favorite teacher” 
  • Mentor
  • Admire, respect, care for, 
  • Want to emulate and please

Not all power types are equal!

The takeaway:

• For all except legitimate:
  • Students hold the same powers over teachers
  • Teachers hold the same powers over admin
  • Understanding the types of power, you can be intentional about cultivating it

That is this week’s Five for Friday rendition of The Assistant Principal Podcast. 

Thank you for including me on your leadership journey. 

I look forward to seeing you again next Tuesday when I review some elements of creating a positive classroom culture.

Please remember to subscribe and rate this podcast. Increasing those numbers helps others find the show. 

You can find out more about me at https://www.frederickbuskey.com/

I love getting feedback, so please consider sending me an email or connecting with me on LinkedIn. Of course, all of those links are in the show notes.

I’m Frederick Buskey and thank you again for joining me on this episode of the Assistant Principal Podcast. Cheers!

DiveingDeepEDU Podcast link: https://divingdeepedu.libsyn.com/58-frederick-buskey 

Frederick’s Links:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.frederickbuskey.com/ 

LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/strategicleadershipconsulting 

Daily Email subscribe: https://adept-experimenter-3588.ck.page/ff61713840 

In this episode I discuss three important things I'm teaching a group of teaching interns about building a positive classroom culture.

Frederick’s Links:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.frederickbuskey.com/ 

LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/strategicleadershipconsulting 

Daily Email subscribe: https://adept-experimenter-3588.ck.page/ff61713840 

Hello Colleagues and welcome to another 5 for Friday episode of The Assistant Principal Podcast!

Today’s shout out goes to… Krista8967 who wrote in a recent review:

I absolutely love this podcast. Frederick Buskey gives helpful tips that you can put into action right away. This show has been a part of my weekly routine since my journey into educational leadership began.

Thank you for the kind words Krista, I am so glad the show is helpful.

Today’s episode of Five for Friday recaps the strategic leadership emails for the week of October 16-20, 2023. 

I was so excited after recording Tuesday’s podcast with Michele Matoon that I rearranged my content for the week and decided to pull five tips from the daily email to reinforce some sound meeting practices. The fifth tip was not on our show and I can’t believe I didn’t mention it as it transformed the way I view meetings.

While there is significant overlap between today’s show and Tuesday’s, it might be a bit less overwhelming. I’ll prove Michele’s email address at the end of the show and include it in the show notes as she will send a meeting template to anyone who wants it. If you want better meetings, don’t reinvent the wheel, just email Michele!

Five biggest takeaways:

1. Have a clear, actionable goal, in an agenda, ahead of time.
2. Allot time to each item and use a timer to signal the end.
3. Write down who is responsible and what the deadline is.
4. Put FYIs at the bottom and do not read or spend time on them.
5. Calculate the cost of the meeting. 

The takeaway: Every minute of our day has a price. That price can and should be measured in money, but more importantly in time and attention. 

Of course, some meetings are necessary. IEP meetings are essential parts of identifying important strategies for working with a vulnerable group of students. However, the value of a meeting should never be measured on its own. It should always be measured against the alternative.

Was this meeting as important as developing a support plan for a student in crisis? Was this meeting as important as investing 30 minutes with an early career teacher, listening to their story, and helping him thing through how they want to grow? Was this meeting as important as developing an SOP to help front office staff effectively manage unexpected visitors?

In some cases, the answer will be yes and you should absolutely have the meeting. In other cases, it will be no, in which case maybe you should cancel of skip the meeting if at all possible.

I know things are pretty hierarchical in most districts, but I can’t help but wonder what might happen, if, coming into a meeting 30-minutes late, you announced, “Sorry I’m late, but I have a third-year teacher who is considering leaving the profession and I needed to do some critical problem-solving with her.” What would be the response to that? Again, that may not be an option in your district, but maybe it is but you don’t know it? Might be worth a conversation. 

There is a great visual in an article in the Huffington Post in which they monitored brain activity in people attending back-to-back meetings.  The increase in stress created by back-to-back meetings with no break is striking.

Again, I’m not saying all meetings are bad, but if it isn’t worth have an agenda with a clear goal and actionable outcome, what’s the point?

That is this week’s Five for Friday rendition of The Assistant Principal Podcast. 

Thank you for including me on your leadership journey. 

I look forward to seeing you again next Tuesday… 

Please remember to subscribe and rate this podcast. As I record this, we have 19 ratings and 6 reviews – we are inching forward! Remember increasing those numbers helps others find the show and I really appreciate hearing from you.

I’m Frederick Buskey and thank you again for joining me on this episode of the Assistant Principal Podcast. Cheers!

Michele’s Links:

Email:  [email protected] 

Website: www.nsrfharmony.org 

X (Twitter) @TheNSRF:  twitter.com/TheNSRF 

Instagram: @NSRFharmony:  https://instagram.com/nsrfharmony 

Facebook: Facebook.com/NationalSchoolReformFaculty 

Linkedin: linkedin.com/company/NSRF/  

Threads (logs in with FB):  threads.net/@nsrfharmony

Resources:

The NSRF’s website:  www.nsrfharmony.org  (has libraries of many protocols and activities)

Huffington Post article on stress: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/meetings-breaks-office-brain-study_l_638e4f82e4b06fdc9d907e03 

Frederick’s Links:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.frederickbuskey.com/ 

LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/strategicleadershipconsulting 

Daily Email subscribe: https://adept-experimenter-3588.ck.page/ff61713840 

Show Notes, Episode 169: The why and how of meetings with Michele Matoon

About this show 

Have you ever been in a meeting that didn’t go well? I know, silly question. What about this – have you ever been in a meeting that DID go well? And why, if your experiences have been anything like mine, are the good meetings so much rarer than the bad ones? More importantly, what can we do to flip the script – to move meetings from being a waste of time to being powerful tools for organizational improvement? Today’s episode is going to help you do just that!

Michele Mattoon is the executive director of the National School Reform Faculty (NSRF).  She works with schools and educators across the country and around the world to implement Critical Friends Group Trainings, strategic planning sessions, and other work relating to collaborative learning.  

Michele is also the president and owner of Coltrain Group, a consulting firm that offers facilitation and mediation services, as well as tailored collaborative trainings to businesses and other organizations outside the education arena.

Michele is obsessed with intentionally building healthy, productive communities through specific collaborative structures.  As such, she is the primary editor of NSRF’s training handbooks and the author of many articles, protocols and activities dedicated to this topic.

Michele and I talked briefly after the show and for our next recording we will dive into how to manage “those people” who can make meetings a nightmare. If there are specific examples or behaviors you would like us to address, please email them to me at fb.com so we can address them on the show. Have them to me by October 31, 2023 for inclusion on the show.

Notable Quotes

Michele:

• “That is two hours of my like I am never going to get back!”
• Bad meetings - “It’s a human being problem. It’d not an education problem, it’s a human being problem.”
• “Nothing breaks trust faster than a leader who says “we are going to make a decision”.. and then makes the decision themselves.”
• “The ramifications of not being clear are huge.”
• “If you are going to give a deadline, you need to keep the deadline”
•  “We are so conditioned to a bell, that we will stop [when it rings].”
• “We need to know who’s responsible and when the deadline is.”
• “A big part of leadership is just being clear and organized and communicating just enough.”
• “If we have to make up a story, because no one told us, then it’s much more likely to be a negative story than a positive one.”
• “If you don’t have a system for it, it’s not going to get done.”

Frederick:

• It seems like there are two kinds of meetings – one where there is an assumed purpose… and standing meetings, which can be some of the worst ones.
• “We need specific clarity so people know why they are coming.”
• “One of the most neglected parts of a meeting is assigning who is responsible and when the deadline is.”
• “It’s amazing how many people would talk something to death in a meeting, but when you ask them is it worth emailing me over this, they don’t, they are fine.”
• “When we had none items on the agenda, we just were covering things and not doing meaningful work.”

Michele’s Links:

Email:  [email protected]

Website: www.nsrfharmony.org

X (Twitter) @TheNSRF:  twitter.com/TheNSRF 

Instagram: @NSRFharmony:  https://instagram.com/nsrfharmony

Facebook: Facebook.com/NationalSchoolReformFaculty

Linkedin: linkedin.com/company/NSRF/  

Threads (logs in with FB):  threads.net/@nsrfharmony

Resources:

The NSRF’s website:  www.nsrfharmony.org  (has libraries of many protocols and activities)

Frederick’s Links:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.frederickbuskey.com/ 

LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/strategicleadershipconsulting 

Daily Email subscribe: https://adept-experimenter-3588.ck.page/ff61713840 

Hello Colleagues and welcome to another 5 for Friday episode of The Assistant Principal Podcast!

Today’s shout out goes to… IamBlandon who kindly reviewed the show on Apple Podcasts, saying the following…

Thank you! 

I’m so close to completing my journey on becoming an administrator! Thank you so much for this treasure trove of valuable information! Keep up the good work!

And thank you IamBlandon, your review and words mean a lot.

Today’s episode of Five for Friday recaps the strategic leadership emails for the week of October 9-13. 

The emails: The three epiphanies

Monday: Urgent leaders:

• Put tasks before people.
• Prioritize what’s urgent over what’s important.
• Treat symptoms instead of identifying problems.
• Mistake action for progress.

Tuesday: There is not enough time to do everything.

Wednesday: If there is not enough time, I can choose what does and does not get done.

Thursday: What I choose to do and not do reflects my values.

Friday: Not being intentional dooms you to urgency

The takeaway: 

Embracing the three epiphanies is a foundational step for moving from managing time to managing priorities. On the days you do not make intentional choices, like my day battling my computer, you are likely living in urgency.

Making intentional choices does not guarantee you will be strategic, but it is a prerequisite.

I’m including a simple visual in today’s message. If you find the 3 epiphanies compelling, consider printing it off and posting it somewhere as a reminder.

Today’s intention: Reflect on your week. In retrospect, what is one to-do/not do choice you made intentionally and feel good about? What is something you reacted to, that got in the way of something you valued more? It is Friday, and I would love it if you share with me your biggest takeaway or story from this week!

That is this week’s Five for Friday rendition of The Assistant Principal Podcast. 

Thank you for including me on your leadership journey. 

I look forward to seeing you again next Tuesday when we feature my interview with Michele Matoon. We take a practical look at how to run a meeting. This is one of those episodes you will want to follow up on because Michelle has some great tips and tools for you.

Please remember to subscribe and rate this podcast. 

You can find out more about me at https://www.frederickbuskey.com/

I love getting feedback, so please consider sending me an email or connecting with me on LinkedIn. Of course, all of those links are in the show notes.

I’m Frederick Buskey and thank you again for joining me on this episode of the Assistant Principal Podcast. Cheers!

Frederick’s Links:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.frederickbuskey.com/ 

LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/strategicleadershipconsulting 

Daily Email subscribe: https://adept-experimenter-3588.ck.page/ff61713840