The Aware Show

Do you wake up feeling stressed? Do you immediately think about all the things you have to do and experience a sense of dread? Lisa continues the conversation today with our guest, author and spiritual teacher Blake Bauer. Blake's international bestselling book is "You Were Not Born to Suffer: Overcome Fear, Insecurity and Depression and Love Yourself Back to Happiness, Confidence and Peace." Blake suggests if you are waking up and feeling stressed, you may not know how to have a healthy relationship with yourself. You may not know how to love yourself. He knows that life does not have to be this way. You are so much more. When you take note of how you feel in the morning, you can work with what's present. Blake suggests 10 minutes of meditation first thing in the morning. Your thoughts will shape your day. When you wake up and dislike your life, you are activating fear, stress, and anxiety. You start to make yourself sick with your thoughts. By meditating, you learn to have thoughts that serve you. You can activate healthy neural networks which will help you to create more of what you want in your life. You can override stressful thoughts and create your day by being disciplined and mindful with your thoughts. Why not use your thoughts to create a better reality? It all starts with self-love. You can begin with intentions. You can state affirmations. By doing these practices you get your mind ready to receive. It's Law of Attraction. Conversely, if you are suffering, you are hurting yourself and not even realize you may be hurting others. As the saying goes, "Hurt people hurt people." Blake talks about the science of self-healing and how when you learn to filter your thoughts with more loving, mindful practices and you act on integrity, the love, light, and healthy energy inside can transform you. It involves self-care. The love inside will help you rid the sorrow and trauma. Your anger can be healed, and you can learn to forgive. You do not have to live in a place of suffering. The more you release what holds you back, the quicker you can move forward. You can create positive energy and possibilities. We can start with one tiny act of kindness, and that will begin to make all the difference. When he was in school studying Chinese Medicine, Blake also learned about the practice of Qi Gong and how this gentle, loving form of exercise has been a tremendous help to his physical state. He found it was the perfect way to find peace, by bridging movement with his meditation practice. He explains that Qi Gong is the foundation of all of Chinese Medicine and a way to unlock what's stuck and clear any blocks. It's another way to give yourself permission to feel worthy and send that signal to the universe! Info: www.unconditional-selflove.com

Is it possible to have two strongly opposing points of view and still get along and work together? And if so, how can two sides, who are both committed to their own views, come to a conclusion? Are you more committed to politics, for example, or are you more committed to your relationships? Today Lisa talks once again with executive coach Jim Selman and psychiatrist Dr. Srini Pillay. Together they invite us to create a new mind, so we can create a new world. Jim Selman is an executive coach and talks about how leadership is a willingness to commit to a possibility before evidence is shown. Jim has worked within the corporate sector in management. He has learned to navigate opposing views and worked with both managers and those in unions. Neither party can be completely satisfied but they can work together. He talks about possibility thinking and its role in leadership. Psychiatrist Dr. Srini Pillay talks about leadership and a willingness to acknowledge possibilities, even before there's evidence. He talks about how the amygdala in the brain processes all emotions. Fear is at the forefront as we need to protect ourselves. Srini further discusses suffering and how it works in the brain. It can feel like we are being attacked, and we want people to understand it. The root of polarization is the difference between living in a state of suffering or living in a state of possibility. How is it possible to get along with others who have completely opposite views? Unless you are willing to acknowledge and respect the legitimacy of the other, then no reconciliation is possible. We automatically assume that the other person is wrong, yet no conclusion can be proven true or false. We must allow others to have judgements without reaction. It is not the truth, nor is it a falsehood. So how do we learn to live together in a way where each person can have their own opinions, yet we allow for respect of one another's views? We don't have to agree, and we can learn to create together. Most polarization gets stuck when people will not allow room for another person's view. Together they talk about consciousness, balance, and non-judgmental thinking. This leads to creative solutions. There is a way to have a conversation and not get to an agreement but still allow for the possibility of co-creation. If you can do this in a polarized environment, you actually have more power and can create a common future. This interview was part of a series originally taped in August of 2020, and we air this show in honor of Jim Selman who passed away recently. Jim was an executive coach and pioneer in the field of personal and organizational transformation. He is the author of numerous books including "Leadership" and "Living in a Real-Time World: 6 Capabilities to Prepare Us for an Unimaginable Future." Info: jimselman.com and drsrinipillay.com.

Do you feel constant stress? Are you exhausted and suffering? According to our guest today, author and teacher Blake Bauer, you were NOT born to suffer. He has helped thousands of people find freedom through what he practices and teaches about self-love. Blake grew up in Chicago under very tough circumstances. His parents divorced and he was surrounded by abuse, drugs, and addiction. By the time he reached high school, he was a user of drugs and alcohol himself as a way to cope and numb his own pain. He was running away from his problems, and he admits he couldn't ask for help. He had no healthy models around him, so he learned unhealthy coping mechanisms. He learned how to hurt himself through self-destructive tendencies in order to survive. Finally, after a night of heavy partying, he realized he had to find a way to heal, or he would die. He had taken drugs and was drinking and found himself asleep in his car in front of a freight train. He admits that he had a big ego and being a teenager at the time, he thought he was invincible. When the police found him, he didn't realize what was happening. He was arrested with a DUI and they found drugs in the car. At this time, he was a senior in high school and a superstar football player. He was the captain of his team and had multiple offers to play at colleges. The coach found out about his DUI and kicked him off the team. Blake's identity and his world were crumbling. He lost his football friends and felt so ashamed of his behavior. He was often suicidal. This pain was so strong, and he desperately sought out answers to find freedom from his suffering. He had no idea what to do. He began looking for answers as to how to heal. He asked himself, what is the purpose of it all? He was in so much trauma but took accountability for everything that was happening. He felt so sick inside. All he wanted to do was find relief. Slowly, with mental strength, he began to explore healthier options. He learned to eat healthy, take vitamins, do yoga, and meditate. He did not go back to drugs and alcohol. He grew up around extreme addiction and saw how devastating it could be. He realized he was following in the same pattern, and he knew he had to change. His healthy pride kicked in and he overrode his genetic and environmental influences. Blake talks about how he attended five different universities as a seeker. He sought out teachers and authors who could help him heal. Practices became a major part of his healing. He could feel the power in yoga and meditation. He studied psychology as well as traditional Chinese Medicine, including acupuncture and energy healing. Blake also discusses how he is not a victim. He takes 100% responsibility for his actions. He started going to workshops and retreats to continue to find answers. He knew he had to heal, or he would die. When he was in his early 20s, he began teaching meditation in the back of a vitamin store where he was working. He could see that most forms of disease stem from not loving ourselves. We never learned how to do that as children. He linked how our thoughts and emotions can lead to disease or to healing. He was in so much pain when he was younger, but he knew it didn't have to be that way. He decided to write a book and was rejected by more than 100 agents and publishers. He eventually self-published and it became a #1 self-help book in Australia where he was living. His international bestseller is "You Were Not Born to Suffer: Overcome Fear, Insecurity and Depression and Love Yourself Back to Happiness, Confidence and Peace." So how can we live in a way to alleviate suffering? By learning to love ourselves! If you learn to love yourself, you'll have access to everything you need inside. You can learn to value yourself and develop self-respect. Blake explains that you are either hurting yourself or helping yourself with your thoughts. He shares ways to take care of yourself and develop habits so you too can heal! Info: www.unconditional-selflove.com

What does it meant to create a new world? Would you like to escape limited ways of thinking and find your power? Our guests today are executive coach Jim Selman and psychiatrist Dr. Srini Pillay. Together they invite us to create a new mind, so we can create a new world. Jim Selman talks about futuristic thinking and who we have to be as we navigate a changing world. He is the founder of Executive Coaching and author of many books. Dr. Srini Pillay is a Harvard-trained psychiatrist who works within the corporate, technology, and government sectors. He is also author of several books. Jim and Srini believe this is the greatest possible time to live. Many of the ways we've been taught to live may not stand up to old beliefs. Why are the problems of the world continuing? How can we shift how we relate? We live in a world of uncertainty and there's been a long tradition of "how" to do things, especially in the self-help world. When you ask "How?" it doesn't give you ways to work in the future. We have had pandemics, wars, and a history of conflict. Jim and Srini decided to study the ways in which successful people don't follow a particular formula. We are being asked to shift our mindsets to come up with different results. Jim moved from management and consulting to executive coaching. He continuously asked why it was so possible to come up with answers, but so challenging to implement them. There is a belief that it's hard to change. This led Jim into the idea of transformation in the 1970s, when he worked with Esalen Institute. He determined that managers tried to control the result, yet in the worlds of art and sports, coaches do not try to control the performance. They don't control the behavior of others. This opened the world of coaching to him, so he learned to work with others to offer results without control. This was an alternative to management, especially in the corporate world. Srini teaches that you don't need to follow the herd. We can look inside for the answers. He talks about the definition of leadership and how it involves "becoming yourself." A lot of people think there's a way they are "supposed" to be. This involves competence, autonomy, and social relatedness, yet in order to have a sense of purpose, we must be and become ourselves. Jim and Srini explain about their idea of "Existential Confidence" as a way for people to transform. Joining philosophy with neuroscience and psychology can help you to access yourself. Successful people are not mimicking others. They are expressing from the self. Who do we need to be to create change? They talk about confidence, commitment, and possibilities. Ordinary confidence is based on our experience. We've either done it or seen examples of it. We accept that the world is changing at an extraordinary rate. Our grounding and realities are breaking down. Common sense is not so common or reliable. We need to reinvent our relationship to what's going on. We don't have maps to get there. This is Existential Confidence. It's a confidence that rises within us, that is absolute self-trust. People may tell us it's impossible, but we know we can undertake what needs to be done. It's the kind of confidence that allows you to enjoy the journey and not constantly question. It's what you need if you are going to create or co-create the future. If it's truly going to be a future that works for most all of us, it's going to require that level of Existential Confidence. It encompasses the wholeness of who we are as human beings. It's our relationship to the future. Jim and Srini deeply discuss that is possible to pivot and create possibilities. You can change your identify from being a follower to being a creative leader. You no longer copy others. You develop your own way. We can create the reality we want to see. We can create the future. This interview was originally taped in August of 2020, and we air this show in honor of Jim Selman who passed away recently. Jim was an executive coach and pioneer in the field of personal and organizational transformation. He is the author of numerous books including "Leadership" and "Living in a Real-Time World: 6 Capabilities to Prepare Us for an Unimaginable Future." Info: jimselman.com and drsrinipillay.com.

After so much conflict, how will it be possible to have peace in the Middle East? With so much separation, how can people remember their hearts and come together? Today Lisa continues the conversation with Ora and Ihab Balha, a Jewish and Muslim couple living in Isreal who exemplify love, despite the extreme conflicts in the area in which they are living. Together they co-founded "The Orchard of Abraham's Children'' nonprofit organization, a holistic educational and communal organization dedicated to transforming Jewish-Arab relations for a shared future, as well as the "Human First Community Center" in Jaffa, Israel. Today Ora and Ihab talk about the idea of peace, and how it exists; you just need to tap in. Peace is the future. The education system in Isreal is all about division based on religion and culture. This can be changed. By separating Jewish and Arab people, it creates ignorance. By coming together, and going to school together, we can learn about one another. We can enrich each other with our differences and find similarities to connect. Ignorance creates fear and that fear creates violence. An education system can address this by bringing students together. Ora and Ihab talk about how they start with teaching the children, and then the kids bring home information to their parents. They have also started a community center for adults. It's not just early childhood education. It's for the entire family. This can create change. Slowly it becomes impactful. They have an open prayer room and everyone is welcome. People come to visit from all over the world to pray and meditate. The local community branches out to the neighborhood and around Isreal. They have various locations in which they work with Israelis and Palestinians, as well as the global community. People have lost hope, but when they see that it's possible to learn the tools and create peace, they can feel inspired. Ora and Ihab also discuss how the education they've developed helps not only people, but the Earth as well. It's about sustainability. They talk about how we are just stewards of the land; no one actually owns it. We belong to the land. They also talk about their interfaith gatherings and the similarities between the various religions. When they started out, people made fun of what they were doing. Now people take note and are very interested. They want to get involved. It is difficult to shift people's minds in the beginning, but when they see what's possible, they become inspired and want to invest in peace and education. It is possible to change the paradigm and Ora and Ihab are leading the way through their work together. They are working to stop the war and bring peace. They remind us that we are all part of the human family, and it is possible to live in abundance, love, and peace. We just need to open our hearts and come together. If interested in donating and learning more, pls visit: www.orchardofabrahamschildren.org

Do you long for something more in your life? Are you innately drawn toward spirituality? Do you think we as humans are naturally wired to look for deeper meaning in our lives? Whether it be a walk in the woods, or through mediation or prayer, our guest today, Dr. Lisa Miller, believes that we are naturally able to tap into a heightened awareness of the world around us. We are able to cultivate circuits in our brains which help us to become more spiritually aware. By developing this awareness, we can begin to free ourselves from depression, anxiety, loss of creativity, and so much more. We can consider things from a more awakened, more elevated perspective. Dr. Miller believes when we feel depressed, this is an alert asking us for deeper spiritual exploration.

Dr. Miller is a professor in the Clinical Psychology Program at Teachers College, Columbia University, where she founded the Spirituality Mind Body Institute, the first Ivy League graduate program and research institute in spirituality and psychology. She has been with the Department of Psychiatry at Columbia University Medical School for more than a decade.

Dr. Miller is the NYT bestselling author of "The Spiritual Child" and her latest book is "The Awakened Brain." She is the Editor of the Oxford University Press Handbook of Psychology and Spirituality, Founding Co-Editor-in-Chief of the APA journal "Spirituality in Clinical Practice," an elected Fellow of The American Psychological Association (APA) and the two-time President of the APA Society for Psychology and Spirituality. A graduate of Yale University and University of Pennsylvania, she earned her doctorate under the founder of positive psychology, Martin Seligman, and she has served as Principal Investigator on multiple grant-funded research studies. Info: LisaMillerPhD.com.

Although it seems that we live in a world filled with tragedy, especially as we hear about events in the Middle East, there are still so many people there doing good in the world. In today's show, Lisa interviews Ora and Ihab Balha, a Jewish and Muslim couple living in Isreal who exemplify love, despite the extreme conflicts in which they are living. Together they co-founded "The Orchard of Abraham's Children'' nonprofit organization, a holistic educational and communal organization dedicated to transforming Jewish-Arab relations for a shared future, as well as the "Human First Community Center" in Jaffa, Israel. Ihab Balha explains as a Muslim man how he was challenged to a fight by a Jewish man who came running into a restaurant screaming hateful words toward Arabs. They got into a physical fight. Frequently this many would run into this restaurant shouting the same words and fighting with men there. Eventually Ihab decided to wait for him and attacked him outside. The Jewish man was surprised and said how they should schedule the next fight and invited him to fight at his home. Ihab talks about how they scheduled it, and when he arrived at the man's house, the man broke down about his wife leaving him. This led to a conversation about the importance of love and human connection. Together they talked about relationships and spoke from their hearts. They continued to meet, to talk, and to express their fears and anger. Slowly more Jewish people and Muslim people began to gather with them, just to talk. They decided to have a meeting in the Holy Land between the Israeli and Palestinian people. They were anticipating approximately 10 people. More than 300 showed up. They invited people from various religions including priests, Sufis, and rabbis. One man talked about his daughter being killed by an Israeli soldier. Another person talked about how a Palestinian man killed his son. Together they cried and shared their pain. Afterwards they hugged each other. At the second meeting, more than 1000 people came and for the third meeting, more than 5,000 people of various religions attended. This was essentially the biggest peace project in Israel. They did not talk about politics – instead they talked about being Jewish, Muslim, and Christian. They built bridges. Ora Balha talks about how she met Ihab when she was visiting the Sinai desert in Egypt. They saw each other and immediately fell in love. Even though Ora is Jewish and Ihab is Muslim, they talk about how love "took" them. It took over. They had to rise above cultural and societal differences. Ora moved in with Ihab in Jaffa. Because of the difficulties, they couldn't share this with anyone, including their families. When Ora first met Ihab's father, it was especially challenging. Their families could not get over their prejudices, but every time they met, Ora and Ihab would express only love. Finally, after a struggle of several years, their families accepted one another. It took time, but Ora and Ihab stayed true to their love. They also talked about the importance of choosing love. Even if you are afraid, when you choose love, people can see that and then reflect it. They also discuss what happened when they had their son and how they educated him. He learned both Hebrew and Arabic at home. They celebrated all of each other's holidays. When it came time to send him to kindergarten, they couldn't find a school that was teaching what they were at home, so they decided to start a kindergarten. They were young and didn't think about the future as much, so they started a very small school in Ihab's father's yard. Two children joined. They brought in both a Jewish teacher and a Muslim teacher. The community started to hear about them. In the beginning, it was hard, but slowly more children joined. By the end of the first year, 16 children were involved. They opened a second group the following year and a third group by the third year. Currently they now have nine kindergartens, an elementary school, and a community center which focuses on adults. It offers music and activities. They have more than 100 staff members. The schools are mainly in Jaffa and Galilee, but they have other teacher training programs. They also talked about the many challenges. There is so much fear and anger, resulting in separation. Ihab talks about how you must always be aware. It's not easy for people to change. People are stuck with their past ideology. They live in their minds, and they forget about their hearts and what connections them. People feel stuck so they argue and fight. Ora and Ihab are trying to express something new, something from their hearts. They learned to listen to one another. This is a dynamic movement. They invite people to remember that we are human first. God chooses all of us. We complete each other. Info: www.orchardofabrahamschildren.org

Itibari M. Zulu is vice president of the African Diaspora Foundation whose mission is to unite globally for peace and sustainability in Africa through education. He talks about the colonization of Africa by the Europeans and more regional conflict. Itibari believes conflict whether overseas or domestically can be solved. There are many alternatives, especially when you work with youth, to teach about peace and prosperity, as well as learning leadership skills at a young age. He discusses the work he's done toward peace and non-violence, working with veterans of the Civil Rights Movement. Itibari talks about how there's so much conflict in Africa, yet he knows it can be a peaceful place. He also discusses activities in the academic communities including forums and workshops, as well as work with the consulate of South Africa. Itibari talks about his time in Johannesburg and the Peace Conference there. They taught about non-violence and reconciliation. It was an opportunity to make a contribution and also advise teachers there. He is the former director of the Ralph J. Bunche Center for African American Studies Library & Media Center at UCLA, and provost of instruction and curriculum at Amen-Ra Theological Seminary. He is currently developing the King-Luthuli Transformation Centre peace library and distance (new technology) learning center in Johannesburg. Info: www.theadf.com

Do you often have conflicts with your partner? Would you like to learn to be happier in your relationships? Lisa continues the conversation today with author and relationship expert Linda Bloom, L.C.S.W., who is a psychotherapist and marriage counselor. Linda explains how there's an "art" to fighting and even in the greatest, happiest relationships, arguments can arise. Yet, she believes most challenges and problems can be worked out. You can use your relationship for the highest growth. From what Linda and her husband, Charlie Bloom, also a therapist and marriage counselor have reported, only about 10% of partnerships are in "Super Marriages." This is an equal relationship which involves being compassionate and passionate, utilizing each other's strengths, and compensating for one another's weaknesses. Individually people have done the work to uplevel themselves and their understanding, thereby upleveling the relationship itself. Linda explains that it takes passion and commitment to be a highly emotionally intelligent person. By enrolling their partner, this leads to an immensely successful relationship. She and her husband decided to interview more than 50 very happy couples. The main trait they had in common was communication. They have "Super Marriages" because they are "Super Communicators." They are in touch with their feelings and brave enough to express them. They learn how to be together, while keeping their individuality. They have so many clients who did not have good relationship role models. Luckily this is something that can be learned. Every couple can have their own experience, based on their own set of ethics and values. Between the demands of dual careers, raising children, and helping aging parents, you must make your relationship your priority. Linda suggests having date nights, checking in with yourself and partner every day, and scheduling romantic getaways at various times of the year, not just for birthdays and anniversaries. Prioritize the well-being of your relationship, and you can become a stronger working team, better able to handle life's stressors. Linda also discusses relationships with family members who may have differing opinions, politically and otherwise. Linda suggests setting boundaries and letting them know you do not care to discuss the subject if you know it will lead to an argument. If they are a bit more open, then you listen and show respect to their point of view. Maybe they will reciprocate and show interest. It is possible that understanding can be forged, even if you do not agree with one another. Curiosity and wonder allow for differences to peacefully co-exist. It needs to be learned from the ground up. If you can create loving, trusting behavior in your own family, you can inspire those around you and thereby accelerate healing with powerful impact. Linda and Charlie Bloom are co-authors of several widely acclaimed books including, "101 Things I Wish I Knew When I Got Married: Simple Lessons to Make Love Last," which has sold more than 100,000 copies, and "Secrets of Great Marriages: Real Truths from Real Couples About Lasting Love, Happily Ever After and Thirty-nine Other Myths about Love," She offers educational and counseling services to individuals, couples, and organizations. She is a regular presenter at Esalen Institute and Kripalu Yoga Center. Info: www.bloomwork.com

Do you oftentimes feel like you are dragging through the day? Would you like to have more energy? Today's guest, board-certified internist Jacob Teitelbaum, MD, is an expert in Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Fibromyalgia, sleep, and pain. Through his decades of research and helping thousands of patients, he has developed a program called SHINE! These keys for optimizing energy production can be summarized with the acronym SHINE: Sleep, Hormones, Infections, Nutrition, Exercise as able. Today he discusses this protocol and addresses Covid-19, and how it displays fatigue symptoms. He offers advice on how to reduce inflammation and boost immunity through nutrition, including eliminating food and environmental sensitivities. He also discusses how to effectively eliminate the most common types of pain using the best of natural therapies. He also shares from his latest edition of his best-selling book, "From Fatigued to Fantastic." Info: vitality101.com