Ah the holidays, that blessed time of year when we come together with our highly functional family systems to engage in some good, old-fashioned fun. 

If that sounded like a joke, this episode is for you. 

Dr. Rick and Forrest explore how to survive the holidays with the dishes (mostly) intact. They talk about the pull of dysfunctional family systems, our tendency to return to the way things were “back then,” and balancing the desire to flip the Thanksgiving table with the desire to just make it through another year. 

I thought this was one of the most interesting conversations we’ve had recently, and I hope you enjoy it.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

2:15: What makes the holidays tough?

5:45: The gap between who you are now and how your family system interacts with you

14:45: Parents yearning for the past, and craving gratitude

24:20: Finding agency amidst obligation

26:55: The weaponization of morality, and not needing to defend boundaries

32:45: Appreciating something about people amidst your struggles with them, and identifying the stakes

38:50: Getting through when it’s hard

43:30: The tension and ambiguity of wanting to speak up

47:00: Resourcing yourself ahead of time, and recognizing what’s in your best interest

51:50: Two kinds of grief and loss

1:01:40: Recap

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