The Best of You

By Dr. Alison Cook

Join therapist and author, Dr. Alison Cook, as she guides you through some of your toughest challenges with wisdom, kindness, and grace. Together with friends and experts we'll unpack the best of psyc... more

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The podcast currently has 369 episodes available.

Best of The Best of You

The most played episodes among Podcast App listeners.

Number 1: When You’re Overthinking the Next Right Step
Today’s Scripture: Deuteronomy 30:11–14 What if the next faithful step isn’t as far away as it feels? When fear and uncertainty take over, we can turn discernment into an exhausting search for perfect clarity. But Scripture offers a more grounded way forward: God’s wisdom is often nearer than we think. You’ll learn: *Why anxiety can make a simple decision feel impossible *How the search for certainty can keep you stuck *Why discomfort doesn’t always mean you’re on the wrong path *How to recognize the wisdom God has already placed within reach *What it looks like to take one faithful step without having the whole map Go Deeper: Pick up The Secure Soul and its companion guide for a deeper journey into the patterns, stories, and practices that shape a more secure life with God. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
August 26, 20269min
Number 2: 223. The Hidden Trauma Behind People-Pleasing, Perfectionism & Self-Sufficiency with Sheila Wise-Rowe
What if some of the qualities you’ve learned to call “strength” are clues to a wound underneath? You may be responsible, independent, productive, and good at taking care of everyone else. But when those patterns become extreme, they can sometimes point to wounds you’ve learned to carry alone. In this week’s episode, Dr. Alison is joined by therapist and author Sheila Wise Rowe for a conversation about the less obvious ways trauma can shape our lives. Together, they explore how people-pleasing, perfectionism, self-sufficiency, minimizing pain, and avoiding conflict can become protective responses—and why healing begins by getting curious about what those patterns are trying to tell us. You’ll learn: *How trauma can show up in ways we may not immediately recognize *Why people-pleasing, perfectionism, and self-sufficiency can become protective patterns *How family and community wounds can shape us across generations *Why minimizing your pain can keep you disconnected from what needs care *The role of lament in bringing your real emotions before God *Why healing rarely happens alone *How small steps, safe people, and God’s presence can help create lasting change Healing doesn’t require you to minimize what happened or convince yourself that someone else had it worse. It begins with noticing what is true, allowing God into the places that hurt, and taking one small step toward connection. More Resources: With every purchase of Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul, you’ll get exclusive access to her Soul Tending Video Library, including “Boundaries for the Deeply Feeling Woman” and her masterclass “Healing the Wounds That Still Shape You.” Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Aqua Tru - Join 98% of customers who have made their drinking water cleaner, safer, & healthier by visiting AquaTru.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get 20% off today! *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
August 27, 202644min
Number 3: 225. The Cost of Changing Yourself to Fit In—and How to Belong Without Abandoning Yourself with Dr. Patricia Hewlin
Have you ever walked into a room and almost automatically started adjusting yourself? Maybe you hold back what you really think. You soften your opinions. You make yourself more agreeable. Not because you’re trying to be dishonest, but because some part of you wants to belong. In this week’s episode, Dr. Alison is joined by behavioral scientist and Columbia University professor Dr. Patricia Hewlin to explore the tension between authenticity and belonging. Dr. Hewlin’s research on what she calls facades of conformity shows that continually suppressing your values and perspectives in order to fit in can lead to emotional exhaustion and disconnection. But the answer isn’t to swing to the other extreme and insist on expressing every part of yourself in every room. We were made for community. And we were also made to become fully ourselves. The goal isn’t to choose one over the other. It’s learning how to love other people without losing yourself in the process. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why the desire to belong is a healthy human need How to tell the difference between wise compromise and self-abandonment Why staying quiet isn’t always people-pleasing How your core values can guide what you share, when you speak up, and when you flex Why “bringing your whole self” doesn’t mean bringing every part of yourself everywhere How to navigate relationships or workplaces where being fully yourself may come with a real cost What Dr. Hewlin calls the middle self: authenticity with discernment and accountability Why true authenticity is inherently relational Read Staying True to You: Unlock the Power of Your Middle Self and Live With Confidence, Integrity, and Peace of Mind. More Resources: Listeners get exclusive access to the first 3 chapters of Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul. Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! AirDoctor - Did you know the quality of oxygen you breathe affects your brain which in turn your thoughts? Eliminate 99.9% contaminants in your home with AirDoctor by visiting AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get UP TO $300 off today! Remi - Start sleeping better with a Remi nightguard and use code BESTOFYOU and get 55% off your purchase. Go to ShopRemi.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU. *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
September 10, 202657min
Number 4: Why the Loudest Person Isn’t Always the Wisest
Today’s Scripture: James 3:13–18 How do you know whether the voice guiding you is actually wisdom—or fear dressed up as certainty, responsibility, or discernment? James gives us a very different way to recognize wisdom: not by confidence, volume, or influence, but by the kind of fruit it produces. You’ll learn: *Why certainty and confidence can sometimes masquerade as wisdom *How fear can hide underneath control, harshness, or over-responsibility *The qualities James says actually reveal genuine wisdom *Why quiet faithfulness may be more powerful than visible influence *One way to discern the fruit your choices and relationships are producing Go Deeper: The Best of You Every Day is taking a short break after this week while the Thursday deep-dive episodes continue. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
August 28, 202610min
Number 5: 217. What to Do When You’re the Only One Trying: Leslie Vernick on Emotionally Destructive Relationships
Every marriage goes through difficult seasons. But what happens when you're the only one willing to do the work? When every conversation ends in blame, defensiveness, or silence? When you're trying to repair the relationship, but your partner refuses to take responsibility? In this week's episode, Dr. Alison sits down with licensed clinical social worker and relationship expert Leslie Vernick to explore the difference between a marriage that's simply hard and one that's become emotionally destructive. Together, they unpack the patterns that quietly erode trust, why healthy relationships require repair, and how to begin reclaiming your own stability—even if your spouse never changes. You'll learn: The difference between a difficult marriage and an emotionally destructive one Why repair—not perfection—is the mark of a healthy relationship The warning signs of blame, gaslighting, and chronic deflection How to stop centering your life around changing another person Why becoming a God-centered person changes the way you navigate unhealthy relationships Practical first steps you can take when you're the only one pursuing growth Whether you're navigating a difficult marriage yourself or supporting someone who is, this conversation offers wisdom, compassion, and hope. Because healing doesn't always begin when someone else changes. Sometimes it begins when you discover what it looks like to stand on your own two feet while remaining deeply rooted in God. Take Leslie’s free quiz “Are you in an emotionally destructive marriage?” Make sure to read Leslie’s book “The Emotionally Destructive Relationship: Seeing it, Stopping It, Surviving It” More Resources: You can now preorder Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 203: Staying Close When Connection Feels Hard—The Relationship Skills No One Taught You (with Relationship Expert Dr. James Cordova) 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Remi - Start sleeping better with a Remi nightguard and use code BESTOFYOU and get 50% off your purchase. Go to ShopRemi.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU. AirDoctor - Did you know the quality of oxygen you breathe affects your brain which in turn your thoughts? Eliminate 99.9% contaminants in your home with AirDoctor by visiting AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get UP TO $300 off today! *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
July 16, 202652min