
Sign up to save your podcasts
Or


By Justin and Abi Stumvoll
4.9
25962,596 ratings
The podcast currently has 373 episodes available.
The most played episodes among Podcast App listeners.

Most of us don't set out to control people—we think we're helping. We say it's love, protection, or just wanting the best. But underneath, codependency often looks like playing God, trying to save others from pain so we don't have to feel it ourselves. In this episode, Justin and Abi get personal about the subtle ways control sneaks into relationships: when someone else's choices feel like a reflection on us, when regret from our past makes us overprotective, or when fear of future consequences drives us to intervene. Through honest stories about friends, family, and faith, they unpack why pain is sometimes the very teacher people need, and how trust, boundaries, and invitation create space for real growth. If you've ever exhausted yourself fixing others or confused control for love, this conversation will help you release the weight and find freedom in letting people be fully themselves. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don't forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

So many of us grow up believing that love means fixing, managing, or predicting other people. It feels safer to silence our needs than risk being "too much." But what if that survival strategy is actually what keeps us disconnected? In part two of this three part series, Justin and Abi continue their conversation on codependency, sharing how growing up in chaotic homes taught them to avoid vulnerability and chase the illusion of peace. They unpack what happens when we don't know our own needs, why denial keeps us stuck, and how self-awareness becomes the key to real connection. Along the way, they explore how faith often reinforced control and what it looks like to reframe love through trust, autonomy, and compassion. If you've ever felt like your very existence is a burden, or you're exhausted from controlling people in the name of care, this episode will help you find freedom and breathe again. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don't forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

So many of us confuse codependency with love—believing that fixing, managing, or rescuing others is the way to feel safe and connected. But what if that "care" is really control in disguise? In part one of this three part series, Justin and Abi get personal about how childhood instability, unprocessed grief, and toxic empathy shaped their patterns of over-responsibility. They unpack how codependency forms as a survival strategy, why hyper-vigilance can feel like compassion, and the hidden cost of carrying emotions that aren't yours. From childhood memories to marriage struggles, they share what it took to untangle those dynamics and begin choosing connection without control. If you've ever felt exhausted from fixing everyone else, wondered why you can't stay out of someone's emotions, or longed for healthier boundaries, this conversation is for you! You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don't forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

Empathy can be one of the most destructive forces to connection—or one of the most powerful. Without it, relationships become cold and judgmental. But too much of it, without boundaries, and we lose ourselves trying to carry everyone else's pain. So how do we find that middle ground? In this episode, Justin and Abi unpack what healthy empathy looks like, and what happens when it gets twisted into judgment or codependency. They share raw and personal stories from their own marriage—navigating chronic illness, financial stress, different upbringings, and PTSD—to show how empathy helped them heal long-standing patterns of resentment, disconnection, and pain. You'll learn the difference between cognitive and affective empathy, how boundaries make empathy safer, and why being "too empathetic" can actually be a sign of unprocessed trauma. If you've ever struggled with being too empathetic, not empathetic enough, or confused about what empathy should look like in healthy relationships, this conversation is a game-changer. Don't miss out! You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don't forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

Most of us were never taught how to be with uncomfortable emotions—only how to avoid, suppress, or get overwhelmed by them. The unfortunate result is disconnection in relationships and more suffering. But what if the real secret to healing and creating secure relationships isn't about fixing the pain, but learning how to be with it? In this episode, Justin and Abi are joined by longtime friend and consultant Rachel to unpack the rarely talked about skill of emotional distress tolerance—what it is, why we need it, and how it becomes the key to emotional maturity. They get personal, sharing how PTSD, eating disorders, conflict avoidance, and financial stress exposed the places where they felt fragile—and how they built emotional strength, one small challenge at a time. If you've ever found yourself avoiding painful or difficult circumstances and want the skills necessary to get healthy and become a badass at facing life, this convo is a game-changer! You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don't forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!
The podcast currently has 373 episodes available.

1,701 Listeners

2,478 Listeners

2,828 Listeners

508 Listeners

592 Listeners

1,603 Listeners

2,572 Listeners

1,052 Listeners

508 Listeners

902 Listeners

2,111 Listeners

765 Listeners

3,099 Listeners

252 Listeners