The Dark Ride

This week on an all new episode of Drunk Distory presents ‘The Dark Ride’ we get our caped caper on with a good ole fashioned bank heist. Come join the drunk duo as we dance down diagon alley, spell cast expecto Patron tequila, and roll deep into Harry Potter and the Escape From Gringotts. What heist would be complete without gold, trolls, dragons, kinky haired spell speakers, and snake faced baddie daddies'. So if you ever wanted to relive your weekly errands by waiting in line at the bank, Join Adriane and Ryan as they stupefy the shorty staff, make OSHA proud with the use of oversized safety 3d glasses and hit the bobsled below the bank. But what pray tell shall we find in this mystical realm of goblins and ghoulies, probably a physically and mentally abused albino dragon that looks more like a crackhead than a carnivore. Will this mine cart mimicry get an A in Charms class, or will we be left as teary eyed as hearing snape say "Always"? There’s only one way to find out!

Drunk Distory, The Dark Ride, Funny, Comedy, Comedians, Adult Disney Podcast, Adult Universal Podcast, Adult Themepark Podcast, Harry Potter, Hermoine, Gringotts, Goblins, Banks, Dumbledore, Patronus, Patron, JK Rowling, Rides, History, booze, Theme Park Podcast, Orlando, Amusement Park, Drinking Game Podcast

Drunk Distory, The Dark Ride, Funny, Comedy, Comedians, Adult Disney Podcast, Adult Universal Podcast, Adult Disney Podcast, Adult Themepark Podcast, sit down dining, Hotel, Grand Floridian, delux, movies, Club, Epcot,  buffet, Magic Kingdom, animal kingdom, Rides, History, booze, Theme Park Podcast, Orlando, Amusement Park, Drinking Game Podcast

What do you get when you mix Puritan values, Goonie level booby traps, and Bob Villa Carpentry skillz, that's right you get the bungalow on the bough, the lifted loft, Adventureland's own deciduous dwelling. An experience proving that; you can take the château out of Switzerland, but you cant take the family out of this flophouse. You guessed it, were hugging bark at Swiss Family Treehouse. The attraction based on a movie that came out when you weren't yet a twinkle in your granny's eye, and speaking of old folks homes;  Today were climbing steps and singing "Oh Christmas Tree" like our grand pappy did; while hiding from tigers, pirates, and their annoyingly precocious son Francis up in a big softwood sapling.  This is the first walkthrough attraction for us drunkards at The Dark Ride, so tie them laces, you really don't want to trip over your Keds and plunge down from this six story concrete conifer. Will the additional steps make our hearts soar with the promise of views to tommorowland, or will all this extra exercise make us want to stay grounded next time? ....There is only one way to find out. 

Drunk Distory, The Dark Ride, Funny, Comedy, Comedians, Adult Disney Podcast, Adult Universal Podcast, Adult Themepark Podcast, walk through attraction, trees, treehouse, movie, Swiss Family Robinson, Rides, History, booze, Theme Park Podcast, Orlando, Amusement Park, Drinking Game Podcast

Well its early spring , with all the cleaning and organizing that comes with it, and  as our seasonal affective disorder has taken full control, we felt that it was time to get our competition on. You've heard of the tournement of champions, but who speaks for the speechless, the little long lost and for some, forgotten rides of yesteryear. So that is what were doing today, break out the hatchets for these brackets, because its time to dust off the defuncts with the 2023 Drunk Distory Tournament of Sadness. We will put up some of our favorite rides and attractions that are no longer amongst the living at the Disney World Resort to discover which one was the best of the bygone? 

In order to tackle a triumphant tournament like this we need some help, and today we are honored to be joined by the always hilarious and very knowledgeable; Travel Agent William (@travelagentwilliam on Tiktok).  We’re very excited to talk to him and hear his opinions on what defunct rides bring him the most Disney sadness! This is a long one, so pony up to the bar, get your favorite libation, and settle in for a no holds barred, kill or be killed, drag yo grandma from the grave fight to the finish. A wrestling match where we figure out if a cartoon driving toad is better than a cartoon dragon and his old man caretaker. Nevermind the school anthem to Mesa Verde, or the fact that stupid Judy is better at Jeopardy than you, we are here to find the definitive response to a three headed troll going snorkeling in shark infested waters. So which long lost lovely is gonna take this sweet sixteen down to churro town?, and which rides are going to meander down the boat ride river of tears  and go over don't give a fuck falls .... you gotta listen in to find out!

Howdy partners! For your safety, remain seated with your hands, arms, feet, and legs away from aunt Gladys's gaping maw of a mouth cause this here is an all you care to enjoy eatery and Good ole Gladys, well she likes to balloon on briskets, pull all the porks, and chomp chickens like they was cheerios. If any of you folks are wearin’ hats or glasses, best remove ’em ( I mean we are at the dinner table, have some manners) ’Cause this here’s the wildest table service in the Fort Wilderness! That's right cowpokes, were sitting down to eat all the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly; at one of the finest casual OG table services this side of the Rio Grand. What in tarnation, we must be wobblin' jaw all about  Fort Wilderness's very own Trails End Restaurant. Come see what it was all about before some city slicker varmint, moseys on in and closes it to make room for a marketplace. What is this, the story of Walmart? Were gonna get all up in this once baffling buffet turned skilled skillet Saloon. but will we think that this campfire feast is above board, or do these vittles deserve to be vanquished. Y'all stick around and find out ya hear.

Drunk Distory, The Dark Ride, Funny, Comedy, Comedians, Adult Disney Podcast, Adult Universal Podcast, Adult Themepark Podcast, sit down dining, buffet, Magic Kingdom, Rides, History, booze, Theme Park Podcast, Orlando, Amusement Park, Drinking Game Podcast

This week on ‘The Dark Ride’ we invite you to prick your ears like a stallion at the glue factory and climb aboard some ornately decorated bleached ponies. Join your favorite cowboy and cowgirl as we spur our way into and out of our saddles, while we go round and round the ole horse tornado sipping from ornately bedazzled boots, I mean mugs, were definitely drinking out of mugs just like every other episode. Come with us today as we take a second chance at showmance on the infamously old Prince Charming Regal Carrousel! That’s right, just like our drinks this 100+ year old attraction is still stirring. But the question is - will this stampede of 90 horses do the Poppins, and buck bronco their way into a cartoon race with Dick Van Dyke, or will one of these gold clad wooden beauties break it’s leg and have to be put down .... for repair (we're not that dark, sheesh)? There’s only one way to find out!

Drunk Distory, The Dark Ride, Funny, Comedy, Comedians, Adult Disney Podcast, Adult Universal Podcast, Adult Themepark Podcast, Hollywood studios, MGM studios, , Magic Kingdom, Rides, History, booze, drinking, drinking game, Theme Park Podcast, Orlando, Amusement Park, Drinking Game Podcast, Carousel, Carrousel,  roller coaster, rollercoaster, Cinderella, Charming, Prince, Princess, flatride, flat ride, spinner

This week on an all-new episode of Drunk Distory presents ‘The Dark Ride’, we continue our deep dive into hotels around the theme park world with Drunk Distory's Resort Round Up. On this Episode, get ready to blue forty two, hut 1,  hut2,  hike it down to the value resorts and splish splash our way to the "wave" pool as we hang ten off fifty foot tall surfboards, get served five foot diameter tennis balls, and climb... giant coca cola cup staircases? hmmm sports.... If you haven't guessed it yet, we are calling our shots at Disney's All Star Sports Resort. The very first All Star Resort, and maybe the best.  So pack your most sparkly cheerleader pom poms and your cleanest pair of Jordans as we stretch our disney dollar while we duck, dive, and dodge our way to the busses. Will this bright and cheerful hotel charm the helmets right off of our hosts heads, or will  the lack of  amenities and transportation prove to them that value resorts are a racket?  There’s only one way to find out!

Drunk Distory, The Dark Ride, Funny, Comedy, Comedians, Adult Disney Podcast, Adult Universal Podcast, Adult Disney Podcast, Adult Themepark Podcast, sit down dining, Hotel, all star sports, music, movies, Club, Epcot,  buffet, Magic Kingdom, animal kingdom, Rides, History, booze, Theme Park Podcast, Orlando, Amusement Park, Drinking Game Podcast