The Exclusive Career Coach

Most organizations assume people leave jobs for better pay or benefits. But the reality is that 70% of employees quit for reasons far beyond money. (Source: Gallup)

Here’s where it gets interesting.

When asked in exit interviews what would make employees STAY, this is what they found:

21% wanted more positive interaction with their manager

13% wanted organizational issues resolved

11% wanted a clear path for career advancement

8% wanted less negative interactions with their boss

Employee retention is about much more than paychecks. It’s about culture, communication, and career growth.

With this data in mind, I want to offer specific steps you can take if you are a) an employee, or b) a manager, or c) a C-suite executive dealing with retention issues.

I’ve combined the 21% who wanted more positive interaction with the 8% of people who wanted fewer negative interactions with their boss, as these are two sides of the same coin.

As an employee: Many employees see themselves as innocent bystanders in this issue, thinking they have no say in how their boss interacts with them.

While there is truth to that – you can’t control how your boss thinks or feels – you can facilitate more positive interactions by taking the following steps:

-Think positive thoughts about your boss

-Understand his or her preferences – for how to be approached, how to receive negative information, how to be kept updated

-To the best of your ability, develop a personal relationship with your boss. Learn about his/her family, interests, personal goals.

I did an episode on how to improve your working relationship with your boss in episode #169: https://www.exclusivecareercoaching.com/posts/2021-03-17-169-questions-to-ask-your-manager-to-improve-your-relationship/

As a manager: It is so important that you get to know your direct reports as people with lives outside of work, and that you show understanding and flexibility to the best of your ability when life happens. Specifically:

-Schedule regular 1:1s, and don’t make them just about work.

-Inquire regularly about things you know staff members are doing outside of work, such as building an addition on their home or planning a big vacation.

-Celebrate successes – in a way that is inclusive. No, I’m not talking about participation prizes, but rather make sure you are celebrating the variety of ways in which your team members contribute to the team’s success.

As a C-suite executive: You are the culture-setter for the organization, so be sure you are walking the talk. Your direct reports will be much more likely to develop personal relationships with their direct reports if you model the same.

This is also something you can hire for – ask questions during the interview of senior leadership about their ability to develop mutually beneficial relationships with their direct reports. Avoid, at all costs, hiring people who see their team members as automatons who have no personal lives – or who shouldn’t.

Do the same as the managers: 1:1s, inquire about your people’s personal lives, and celebrate successes.

As an employee: As a ground-level employee, you may be in the best position to bring such organizational issues to your boss’ attention.

-Be specific – don’t expect your boss to take your concerns seriously, or be able to do anything about them, if he or she doesn’t really understand the problem.

-Follow up – if nothing is done after an appropriate amount of time (which depends on how big the issue is and possibly other factors), follow up with your boss in a respectful and professional manner.

-Show gratitude – once change is made, let your boss know how grateful you are in a way that is appropriate for the amount of effort it required.

As a manager: The problems will likely be coming to you, and your willingness to hear them out and do something about them can make or break your reputation as a leader.

-Actively see input. Don’t just listen when they come to you – invite them to tell you what they would change if they could.

-Don’t get defensive. The best way to shut your employees up is to argue with them about what they see as a problem. Listen, don’t interrupt, ask questions, and keep the employee appraised of progress toward the solution.

-Reward. Whether the company supports this or you do it on your own, provide a gift card, ½ day off, or something else appropriate to the magnitude of the suggestion.

As a C-suite executive: Again – you are the culture-setter and creating a culture where team members are encouraged and rewarded for solving problems is a huge benefit for employee retention, engagement, and productivity.

-Create a suggestion system. You don’t have to do this yourself, but rather assign a key member of senior leadership to take the reigns on a suggestion system. Be sure they map out the end-to-end process – and do your best to shoot holes in it so they can make it better.

-Along with the suggestion system, have a team member create a reward system that can be evaluated and measured objectively. Make sure you allocate the proper funds for this – it will be money well spent.

-As part of your recruitment process, be sure your recruiters and other key staff members are speaking about your rewards system to prospective employees. Ideally, the marketing team is involved and has branded this program and effectively communicated it throughout the organization.

As an employee: If this is important to you, this should be a question you ask at the interview stage. Decide whether this is a deal breaker for you, and if it is, make sure you don’t compromise on it.

-Once you know what the logical next step in your career path with the organization should be, meet with your boss to inquire about the specific criteria he or she will use to determine whether you should be promoted.

-Communicate your progress towards that next role regularly with the appropriate person – and always ask if there is anything else you should be doing.

-Create CARL stories around your achievements in your current role that speak to your qualifications for the next role once you have the opportunity to interview for the role.

As a manager: It is your job to know what, if any, career path exists for the various roles you manage.

-Don’t wait for your employees to ask – tell them what could be next for them, and what it will take to get there.

-Recognize them for achieving milestones along the path.

-Get over yourself. A promotion might mean they leave your department – or even become your peer. Consider this a success story, rather than something to try to avoid.

As a C-suite executive: One of the key components of a successful retention program is clearly defined career paths, along with clearly defined competencies at each level and role. If your HR department hasn’t done this – and, of course, regularly updated it – this should be a major initiative.

-This is retreat material – an offsite to look at the entire organization with an eye to how to improve the promotability of various roles. You’re thinking about the big picture here – your HR team can then drill down with the specifics.

-Be alert to potential biases that will prohibit or hinder certain groups from achieving the next level. I am reminded of a grocery store years ago that required employees to have been a bagger before being promoted into a management role – and only males were allowed to be baggers.

-As with your rewards system, your career ladders should be communicated throughout your organization and promoted to potential employees, stakeholders, etc.

Are you in the wrong job that chips away at you every day? The document and coaching programs offered by Exclusive Career Coaching will help you find a job that uses your zone of genius, recognizes your value, and pays you what you’re worth.

If you’re ready to take your job search to the next level by working with a highly experienced professional with a track record of client success, schedule a complimentary consult to learn more: 

https://calendly.com/lesaedwards/zoom-meetings2

I talked about the concept of Ikigai back in episode #243. This past week, a colleague posted a graphic about Ikigai and it got me thinking that it was time to re-visit and expand on this concept on the podcast.

Here’s the purpose of Ikigai: It is the Japanese answer to a life of purpose. In practice, this concept of Ikigai is a lifestyle, which the Japanese live somewhat instinctively.

We here in America can learn from the Japanese in this regard.

Here’s a quote from the ikigailiving.com website: “Your Ikigai wakes you up in the morning and leads you away from a mundane, status-quo lifestyle. It empowers you and drives your actions and purpose.”

Ikigai is the intersection of

-What you love

-What the world needs

-What you can be paid for

And

-What you are good at

What I liked about the graphic my colleague posted was that it shows what I’m going to call “partial Ikigai” – what you end up with when you have two or even three of these things, but not all four. This is where I want to go today.

Here’s my invitation to you as you listen: For those of you who are living your Ikigai – this is an opportunity for you to sink into gratitude about that. To think through – perhaps even journal on – the ways in which you are at the intersection of what you love, what the world needs, what you can be paid for, and what you are good at.

For those of you who know you AREN’T in Ikigai and those of you who realize it by listening to this episode, I will give some tangible steps you can take at the end. I promise, there is a way to at least move towards your Ikigai without changing everything about your life.

At this intersection, you are engaged in work you love AND contributing something the world is in need of. You’re committed to the environment, let’s say, so you find yourself volunteering for several climate groups, save the whales, saving the rain forest. Perhaps you are getting paid for your work, but not at the level your education and experience call for.

What you DON’T have at this intersection is consideration of what you are good at or what you can actually get a paycheck from.

You are committed to the cause, you are fully bought-in to making the world a better place. BUT you are either doing volunteer work or not getting paid enough to live a respectable lifestyle. You also are doing work that you aren’t necessarily good at – perhaps loving the cause and your idealism so much that you are square-peg-in-round-holing it.

Result: Burnout and Poverty. You aren’t playing to your strengths in this role, which will, eventually, lead to burnout. You will be constantly “picking up” odd jobs or one-off assignments to earn enough to make ends meet. You will likely be denying some desires, such as travel, a home of your own, etc.

Solution: Is it possible for you to get a full-time job with one of the organizations you’ve volunteered with, or been in a smaller role with? Can you keep the cause you are passionate about, while shifting your role within that organization to one that compensates you and utilizes what you are good at?

Possible Compromise: Start with figuring out what you actually need to earn for the lifestyle you desire (be reasonable). Then consider volunteering for your causes – or supporting them financially.

At this intersection, you have a very practical occupational decision – devoid of passion. You’re being pragmatic, but not taking into consideration what will actually fill your soul.

You’ve looked at a need, let’s say becoming a doctor. You know it pays well, so you go to med school. You have acquired a vocation.

The world needs doctors – but what the world REALLY needs is doctors who truly want to be doctors.

Result: Burnout and Dissatisfaction. You aren’t playing to what you love and what you are good at in this role. You’re making good money, but don’t have the time or energy to enjoy your earnings.

Solution: There’s nothing wrong with making logical occupational decisions – as long as your passion and skillset are also taken into consideration. Maybe you realize you would much rather conduct cancer research than be in a clinical setting. Perhaps you move into medical device sales.

Possible Compromise: If we’re actually talking about leaving the medical field, that can be tough because of the earnings potential. This example, in particular, is one where you really need to take a step back and look at the bigger picture – the quality and balance of your life. This one may require a bigger shift to get on the right path that the other combinations.

Here we have included your Strengths, but they are likely your Burnout Skills if you don’t also love utilizing them. This is another left-brained decision, because while practical, it won’t feed your soul.

I think a good example here would be someone who enters law school because they’ve always excelled at debate and they think all lawyers make a lot of money. Perhaps they go into private practice afterwards, because their desire to become a public defender or work for a non-profit has taken a back seat to the enormous law school debt they’ve racked up.

Result: Burnout and Yearning. You long for the non-profit work you were passionate about before law school. You have the trappings of wealth, but become disenchanted with the materialism. You are golden-handcuffed to your occupation.

Solution: Find a way to minimize use of your Burnout Skills and maximizing use of the skills you love to use and are good at. How can you shift your occupation to bring in the passion? Perhaps you sit down with your significant other to see whether serving as an attorney in a non-profit is actually financially viable. What can you do outside of your job to fill your soul, at least in the short term?

Possible Compromise: If you leave the law field, you could still volunteer in some capacity if you still want to use your legal talents in a capacity that fills your soul.

You are doing the work you love and utilizing your strengths. This decision was 100% right-brained, without consideration of what will make money and what the world actually needs.

Perhaps you’ve always loved working with animals, so you take on a role managing a local non-profit that rescues alpaca. You love the animals and seeing them rehabilitated and moving on to better situations.

Does the world need people doing this work? Yes. The bigger question is, does the world value people doing this work, and the answer may be no. Low pay, relying on grants or donations for basic necessities, and less-than-ideal working conditions are part of the job.

Result: Poverty and Yearning. You may find yourself yearning for more in your life – experiences such as travel or a nice home. You’re also frustrated, knowing that, while you are doing the work you love, you can’t seem to make a decent living.

Solution: Is there another animal the world values more than alpaca – that will pay better? Is there an organization with wider reach than your local non-profit, that may pay better and have more solid financial footing? Is there a role within the non-profit world that still uses your Motivated Skills but pays better?

Possible Compromise: Find a better-paying job with a cause and work you love – and then you can contribute financially or volunteer to help the alpacas.

Ikigai, then, is the intersection of all of these:

-What you love

-What the world needs

-What you can be paid for

-What you are good at

What if you need help in figuring these things out for yourself? Of course, I recommend working with a career coach like myself; I also want to give you some DIY tips.

What you love: Journal the aspects of your current and previous jobs as to what you loved about that work. Look at the activities you enjoy outside of work – what do you love about them? Finally, talk to family members and close friends for their insight.

What you are good at AND ENJOY DOING: I added that caveat because the things you are good at but DON’T ENJOY DOING are called burnout skills. We want to find your motivated skills. You can take my motivated skills activity as part of my Professional Purpose Course at: https://exclusivecareercoaching.com/free-resources

What the world needs: There is no shortage of information in this area; in fact, you may suffer from overload. Ask AI, read books, attend webinars or courses.

What you can be paid for: The US Department of Labor puts out salary data; you can also check out sites like Glassdoor.com or utilize AI to ask about salary expectations. I always recommend looking at job postings from the perspective of the skills and qualifications they are asking for relative to the position you are targeting – how can you maximize your desirability as a candidate?

The bottom line: As I said at the beginning, many of you listening to this will identify as squarely in the Ikigai – doing what you love and are great at, contributing what the world needs in a way that compensates you handsomely.

For those of you who identified one or more missing elements to Ikigai, consider working with a career coach or doing the self-work I just mentioned.

For most of you, Ikigai can be reached with a modification or two – not with starting over in a completely different job function or industry. Even adding one of the missing elements can improve your career satisfaction and move you towards Ikigai.

Others of you may be nearing retirement, but with no desire to put the car in park. Rather, this is your opportunity to achieve Ikigai in your second (or third or fourth) career, where perhaps high earnings doesn’t have to be the primary driver to the exclusion of true happiness and fulfillment.

Here’s that quote again from ikigailiving.com: “Your Ikigai wakes you up in the morning and leads you away from a mundane, status-quo lifestyle. It empowers you and drives your actions and purpose.”

Are you in the wrong job that chips away at you every day? The document and coaching programs offered by Exclusive Career Coaching will help you find a job that uses your zone of genius, recognizes your value, and pays you what you’re worth.

If you’re ready to take your job search to the next level by working with a highly experienced professional with a track record of client success, schedule a complimentary consult to learn more: 

https://calendly.com/lesaedwards/zoom-meetings2

I talked about this topic way back in episode #150, which aired in 2020. I thought it was time to bring it back.

The framework I teach my clients for answering behavioral interview questions is CAR(L).

C – Challenge

A-     Action

R – Result

(L) – Lessons Learned

The “L,” when used correctly, can be incredibly powerful in driving home exactly what you want the interviewer to learn about you from your answer.

“L” can take two forms:

Lessons Learned – “What I learned from this situation was…”

OR

“What I think the story demonstrates about me is…”

I think the beauty is in examples, so here are three:

Example #1

Interviewer: “Tell me about a time when your customer service skills were really put to the test.”

C: In my current role as branch vice president, customer concerns are escalated to me. By the time the issue comes to me, the customer is often angry and frustrated. Just recently, I received an escalation at one of my branches concerning a customer who claimed the bank had stolen money out of her account – and she was understandably furious.

A: I knew this was not a situation to be handled over the phone, so I set up a time to meet with her at a neutral location where we would have privacy. I felt this environment would be less stressful for her than to go into her branch.

When we first met, I worked to establish a connection with her – not as an officer of the bank, but as a human who was concerned about her issue. I didn’t want to dive right into the problem – I wanted to put her at ease.

When I asked her about the situation, I asked her if I could make some notes. While she was talking, I didn’t interrupt to ask questions – I wrote my questions down for later.

When I asked questions, I made sure they didn’t sound accusatory or defensive. I then promised her I would fully investigate the situation and get back to her in one week.

R: After conducting my investigation, I found that a cosigner on her account had, without her knowledge, withdrawn the money in question, and I was able to tell the customer who that person was. I did this in a compassionate way, knowing that she would likely feel embarrassed about the situation.

I think the best indicator of how this turned out was that the customer baked cookies for the branch staff and sent me a personal thank you note.

(L): What I think this demonstrates about my customer service skills is my patience, how attuned I am to maintaining everyone’s dignity and privacy, and ability to find a problem that others couldn’t.

Example #2

Interviewer: “This position requires extreme attention to detail. Describe a time when you had to exhibit exceptional levels of attention to detail.”

C: Earlier this year, my boss asked me to conduct a final proof on our annual investors’ report. This document had already been reviewed by 2 others, and I think my boss expected that I would give a quick review and rubber stamp it.

A: Instead, I decided to fact-check everything. I clarified how much time I could have for the project – it wasn’t much time. So I worked evenings and over a holiday weekend to complete my assignment.

R: I was able to find four number errors that would have had significant impact if sent out. I also found a number of grammatical and spelling errors, which I also corrected.

As a result, I received a personal note from my boss, commending me for my efforts – and I am now the designated final reviewer of our annual investors’ reports.

(L): What I learned from this assignment is that sometimes I need to go deeper than what is asked or expected of me. Had I just given the document a quick review, I would never have found all the errors I did – and the results would have been significant.

Example #3

Interviewer: “Tell me about a time when you turned around an underperforming project.” 

C: Last year, I was asked to take over leadership of a team that was evaluating the company’s existing wellness program to make recommendations for improvement.

The previous project manager had so much on her plate that this project wasn’t prioritized and the team hadn’t met in several months.

A: Once I was assigned the project, I immediately got the old team together. My first priority was to determine if the existing team needed to be reconfigured moving forward – either because some members weren’t committed to the project, or because their expertise didn’t fit into the work we needed to do.

Once I reconfigured the team, we set up regular meetings with specific agenda items – everyone knew what we would be doing at each meeting. This really helped with attendance.

I reviewed the previous meeting notes and made decisions about the various facets of this project, and what order they should happen in. I ran this by the team for feedback and made the necessary changes.

I also made sure to give assignments as appropriate – this was “our” project, not just mine. And I built in accountability for those assignments.

R: As a result, we completed the project within the revised timeline and budget. I sent surveys to the team members, who expressed very high levels of satisfaction with me as the project manager and their contributions to the team.

The team received formal commendations from our company president and CHRO.

(L): What I think this project demonstrates about me is my ability to come into something mid-stream and evaluate, make correction, and leverage my leadership strengths to bring the team to cohesion, engagement, and ultimately project success.

Interested in interview coaching with me? Shoot me an email at [email protected]. 

My guest this week is Cheryl Fields Tyler, CEO and Founder of Blue Beyond Consulting. We are talking about the challenges – and rewards – of having multiple generations in the workforce (Baby Boomers, Gen X, Millennials, Gen Z).

Cheryl tells about the key takeaways from her research – both for younger workers and those who lead them – including the skills you need to work in a multi-generational work environment, the differences and commonalities in workers’ needs and requirements, and how to leverage a range of strengths in a diverse workplace.

Cheryl has worked for more than 30 years in helping organizations build cultures where both the business and the people thrive. She has been featured in media including CNBC, BBC, Fast Company, and Forbes.

In 2020, Cheryl received the For All Leader Award from the Great Place to Work Institute, and under her leadership, Blue Beyond has been repeatedly recognized as one of the Best Small & Medium Workplaces by FORTUNE and as an Inc. 5000 company.

You can find Cheryl Fields Tyler at:

www.bluebeyondconsulting.com

linkedin.com/in/cherylfieldstyler

Want a copy of Cheryl’s research?

https://www.bluebeyondconsulting.com/winning-on-the-people-side-of-business/

Are you in the wrong job that chips away at you every day? The document and coaching programs offered by Exclusive Career Coaching will help you find a job that uses your zone of genius, recognizes your value, and pays you what you’re worth.

If you’re ready to take your job search to the next level by working with a highly experienced professional with a track record of client success, schedule a complimentary consult to learn more: 

https://calendly.com/lesaedwards/zoom-meetings2

I could have subtitled this episode “Beating Yourself Up for What Didn’t Get Done vs. Celebrating What Did Get Done.”

In other words, when you don’t do it all (and when do we), what do you make it mean?

I want to address this topic relative to three issues: Your job search, your work performance, and your life outside work.

Here’s a typical scenario: You decide to look for a new job. You tell yourself you are going to consistently devote 10 hours a week towards your efforts. You’re going to network, look on LinkedIn…all the things.

The next thing you know, a month has gone by and you’ve made little progress. Work or home life got in the way. You’re just too busy.

Maybe you actually did quite a bit towards your job search – but have no results to show for it.

You have two choices at this point: Give up or regroup. Your choice is largely determined by the story you tell yourself in this moment.

If you tell yourself:

“I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“No one wants to hire me.”

“I don’t deserve a new job anyway.”

You are going to make a very different decision than if you tell yourself:

“I am going to sit down today and map out a plan for my job search – and calendar it in.”

“I have found jobs before and I can do it again.”

“I let other things get in the way of my job search – but that is in the past.”

Here’s what I am recommending in that moment: Tell yourself the truth – but don’t beat yourself up. Don’t make excuses for what happened (or didn’t happen) – be compassionate and understanding towards yourself.

Next, I recommend that you write out what you HAVE done. Chances are, you have made some progress, so write it out and give yourself the credit due.

The next thing I want you to do is fill up a page with positive things you believe about yourself relative to the situation. For example, if you planned to lose 10 pounds over a three-month period and only lost three pounds, what do you know to be true about you?

-I have lost weight before, so I know I can do it again

-I DID lose three pounds

-I have started to kick my sugar addiction

-I’ve learned how to prepare healthier meals

-I’ve added a lot of plant-based foods in my diet

-I’ve started a walking program

You get the idea. Now you’re focusing on your progress rather than that seven-pound gap.

I also want to address the doing side of this situation, with seven suggestions to increase your chances for success going forward.

#1 – Map out a realistic plan

#2 – Calendar it in

#3 – Check in regularly on your progress (or lack of), and make any necessary changes

#4 – When you encounter an obstacle, find a solution (it’s only failure if you stop trying)

#5 – Get help if/when you feel you need it

#6 – Celebrate your success – and not just at the end

#7 – Adopt IT’s “Lessons Learned” approach

To summarize: When you fail to meet a goal for yourself, it’s important to be kind to yourself and objectively look at the goal and your progress toward it.

-Does the goal need to be revised? Do you need this goal at all? Is the problem with the goal itself, or the timeline you’ve set for that goal?

-What are you making this “failure” mean – and does that meaning support you?

-What do you need to think to increase your chances for success going forward?

-How else can you set yourself up for success going forward?

Are you in the wrong job that chips away at you every day? The document and coaching programs offered by Exclusive Career Coaching will help you find a job that uses your zone of genius, recognizes your value, and pays you what you’re worth.

If you’re ready to take your job search to the next level by working with a highly experienced professional with a track record of client success, schedule a complimentary consult to learn more: 

https://calendly.com/lesaedwards/zoom-meetings2

So, full disclosure: I wanted to do an episode on networking, covering it from a perspective I haven’t yet addressed. That’s not always easy when you’ve done more than 300 episodes!

I’ve done episodes on how to network throughout your career, but today I wanted to focus on networking as a major component of your job search strategy.

I ended up deciding to pull pieces from some other episodes I’ve done on networking while also adding fresh, new content. So here goes.

Why Should I Network?

-As many as 85% of jobs are gotten through networking, with 70% or more of all jobs being in the Hidden Job Market.

-Hiring managers like to hire people they know. In the absence of people the hiring managers personally know, they like to hire people who are known by people the hiring managers know, like, and trust. Many companies have a referral program for this very reason.

-When you are just applying online to the company’s website or via sites like LinkedIn, it is akin to being in a very crowded auditorium, trying to get the attention of the people on stage. It’s very difficult.

-When you have a conversation with a decision maker in the absence of a posted job, you are in competition with no one. This is where the real magic happens.

-Even when you have a world-class resume and superior LinkedIn profile like the ones I create for my clients, you are still not fully dimensional. That can only happen through personal interaction.

-Once you’ve established a relationship with someone who is in a position to hire you or advocate for you, your shortcomings as they relate to the job qualifications may become less significant.

Keep in mind that, as you network, you aren’t asking people for a job. You are asking for leads, referrals, suggestions – and hopefully, for them to make an introduction on your behalf.

Group Networking

If you are looking in your local area for an opportunity, an in-person networking event may be a great option for you. Keep in mind, however, that even if you are looking for positions in another city or state or a remote opportunity, the people you meet at a local networking event will have friends, colleagues, and family members in a wide range of roles as a wide range of companies – possibly even throughout the world.

My recommendation is to identify 2-3 potential group networking opportunities, then give each at least two tries before crossing them off your list.

Here are some suggestions:

-Chamber of Commerce

-Rotary, Kiwanis, and other service clubs

-Your place of worship

-Your university alumni association

-Meetup/Facebook events

-Events you attend on your own – if there are people there, you can network

-Professional association meetings (your own and others’)

-Educational/training event

-Causes you volunteer with/are on the board of

In addition, there are online networking events, especially since Covid. I belong to a group called Ellevate Women’s Network – do some googling and see what you can find that interests you.

How to Work the Event

This depends, of course, on the setup of the event, but I want to give you some tips and considerations.

-Set a goal. Depending on the overall size and composition of the group, decide ahead of time how many people you want to speak with. Alternatively, you may decide to network until you find someone who ____ (fill in the blank).

-The all-important first impression. Smile, give a strong handshake, make eye contact as you introduce yourself. Repeat the other person’s name as a way to help you remember it.

-First be interested, then interesting. So many people get hung up on what they are going to say. Instead, focus on getting the other person to talk. Come up with a couple of questions you can ask everyone you meet. For example:

           -What book that you’ve read has had the biggest impact on you?

           -Are you a dog or a cat person – and why?

           -What’s one thing on your bucket list?

The common thread here is that these aren’t questions everyone else is asking, and the person you are asking them of won’t have a canned answer for you. They will have to drop into the present and actually think about their answer! And you’ll learn something interesting about them.

-Position yourself strategically. If people are standing around, stay out of the corners of the room. A good place to stand is near the food or drink areas.

If you are attending a seated event such as a luncheon, choose a table that is already about ½ full – and where the people already at the table don’t seem to be in a private huddle. Don’t sit with people you already know.

Here are some lines you can try at the table to get the conversation going:

           -Who has attended the event before? (Then ask those who say “yes” what they have found most beneficial about it)

           -What is everyone reading right now?

           -Who has seen a really good movie lately?

One-on-One Networking

Most people only think of networking with the people they already know – what I call “low-hanging fruit.” Their approach sounds something like this:

           “I’m looking for a job. If you think of anything, let me know.”

In one ear and out the other. It isn’t that they don’t WANT to help you, it’s that you haven’t really given them a WAY to help you.

Identify 10-12 companies you want to work for – those that are an ideal fit with your skills, the culture you thrive in, your preferred geographic location, products/services you believe in, etc.

Then used LinkedIn’s Advanced Search function to find:

           -Someone you know who works there, or has worked there recently

           -Someone who is connected to the decision maker

           -Centers of Influence

How to Steer the Conversation

Networking, when done correctly, is an exchange among equals. You are giving as much value as you are receiving.

If the meeting is 30 minutes, spend the first 20-25 talking about the other person. What projects are they working on? What new challenges are they facing? What’s keeping them up at night?

At minimum, you are providing a listening ear. You might also be able to suggest strategies, tools, resources, vendors, or other things that will help them.

Then they are likely to say something like, “We’ve talked about me this whole time! What’s going on with you?”

You will have an ask prepared, based on your research of them on LinkedIn.

Here’s an example:

“I’m in the early stages of looking for my next opportunity, leveraging my success at COMPANY as YOUR ROLE. I saw on LinkedIn that you are connected to NAME and she’s someone I would love to speak with. Would you be willing to introduce me?”

Now you have given the other person a specific ask – something concrete they can do for you. They may not know that person well (or at all) and may suggest someone else they can introduce you to – and that’s okay.

How to Incorporate Networking into Your Job Search

-Just starting out: 25% of your time should be spent in networking-based activities

-Mid-career: 50%

-Senior-level and executive: 75% - 100%

-If you are a full-time job seeker: 30 hours per week on your job search

-Part-time job seeker: 5 hours per week on your job search

You can do the math.

If you are a high-achieving professional with the goal of landing in the C-suite, the Highly Promotable coaching program may be just the ticket! This 1:1 program is targeted to strategically leverage one of your strengths to become a signature strength — and move the needle on one of your developmental areas so it becomes a strength.

This is a four-figure investment in your professional future! If this sounds like just what you need, schedule a complimentary introductory call to determine if you are a fit for Highly Promotable:

https://calendly.com/lesaedwards/highly-promotable-introductory-call

This week we are talking about hybrid work – specifically, what it is, why it’s such a hot topic, and where it’s heading.

My guest this week is Wayne Turmel, Master Trainer and Coach with The Kevin Eikenberry Group. Wayne Turmel has been writing about how to develop communication and leadership skills for almost 30 years. He has taught and consulted at Fortune 500 companies and startups around the world. For the last 18 years, he’s focused on the growing need to communicate effectively in remote and virtual environments.

Wayne defines hybrid work strategy for us – what it is and what it most definitely is not – and how that definition has evolved since Covid. We get a peek into the future of hybrid work, as well as the generational implications of onsite, fully remote, and hybrid work preferences.

You can find Wayne on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/wayneturmel/

or at The Kevin Eikenberry Group.

You can grab a copy of 25 Tips for the Long-Distance Leader at kevineikenberrygroup.com/25tips.

Are you in the wrong job that chips away at you every day? The document and coaching programs offered by Exclusive Career Coaching will help you find a job that uses your zone of genius, recognizes your value, and pays you what you’re worth.

If you’re ready to take your job search to the next level by working with a highly experienced professional with a track record of client success, schedule a complimentary consult to learn more: 

https://calendly.com/lesaedwards/zoom-meetings2

To purchase a Power Hour and schedule your coaching session:

https://calendly.com/lesaedwards/power-hour

Some of my coaching friends and I call it “shoulding” all over yourself. Thinking that things “should” be a certain way.

In other words, we argue with reality – and you can never win that argument.

How does “shoulding” apply to your job? You might believe:

-My job SHOULD pay XXX.

-I SHOULD have more ___ in my job.

-I SHOULD have gotten a promotion and pay raise by now.

-I SHOULD have a better boss/coworkers.

-I SHOULD be more recognized for my contributions.

You get the idea.

Here’s the problem with “shoulding:” you are operating from a place that guarantees frustration, anger, helplessness…whatever the emotion, they are all negative.

Even “shoulds” that sound innocuous can bring about the wrong emotions:

-I SHOULD do a better job.

-I SHOULD like my job better.

-I SHOULD be more like ___(coworker).

-I SHOULD know how to do X.

Again – you get the idea.

How does “shoulding” play into this week’s topic of “It’s Not Your Job’s Job to Make You Happy?”

For one thing, the title indicates that you might think your job SHOULD provide you with happiness. Let’s talk about that.

Where is it written that your job should make you happy? Of course, we can talk about what we would prefer in a job or work environment, but really – what SHOULD our job do?

-Provide some form of compensation in return for some type and level of work.

-Provide you a safe work environment. (all that implies)

-For most full-time employees in the U.S., provide you with health insurance.

And that’s about it. And we all probably know of people that didn’t even receive those things.

So, really what I am saying here is to manage your expectations about what your job is supposed to do for you. For one thing, this puts you in a passive position with little to no control over your own happiness.

Here are seven specific suggestions for managing your expectations about your job, your employer, your boss, or your coworkers.

#1 – Manage your thoughts.

What are you thinking about your job? Your boss? That co-worker?

We know that our thoughts lead to how we feel. If we are thinking negative thoughts, we might feel sad, frustrated, hopeless…none of which serves us.

Start with awareness of the thoughts when they come up, then gently replace them with something less negative.

For example, “I hate this job!” can become “I like that I get to work from home.” Find something better to focus on.

#2 – Avoid comparisons.

If your friend or significant other loves, loves, loves their job…that has no bearing on your job and your experience. You may know of others at your company that love their jobs – no relevance to you. This kind of comparison does not serve you.

#3 – Stay proactive.

When you find yourself lamenting about a project you’ve been put on, a co-worker you have to partner with, or feedback you’ve gotten from your boss…what can you do to improve the situation? How can you contribute to the project in a way that feels good to you, how can you have a more positive experience with that co-worker, how can you make improvements based on the feedback from your boss?

Take positive action – you’ll feel better.

#4 – Deliver excellence regardless.

I encourage you to have this goal: That you can look yourself in the mirror at the end of each day and know you did your absolute best. Not to make your boss or someone else happy, but because of how it makes YOU feel.

Your absolute best isn’t a constant either – so give yourself some grace when your absolute best isn’t all that great.

#5 – Remain in your Sphere of Influence.

Stephen Covey talks about your Circle of Concern – those things over which you have no control – versus your Sphere of Influence – where you can affect change.

Living in your Circle of Concern produces helplessness, frustration, and negativity. Your Sphere of Influence allows you to get to work on the things that matter to you. That’s where you want to live.

#6 – Remember – it could ALWAYS be worse.

While I don’t want you to compare yourself to others who say they have the perfect job, I DO want you to realize that there are those who:

-Don’t have a job at all

-Have a job doing something you would hate to do

You get the idea. I used this strategy in my life at the worst time of my life. I won’t go into details, but at about the same time the crisis happened in my life, there was a much worse crisis that happened to a physician in Connecticut that wiped out his entire family.

He will never know what a touchstone he was for me – if he could handle his situation with the grace and positivity he did, then so could I.

#7 – Get your happiness elsewhere.

Ultimately, your happiness is an inside job, so look inward. Also – get clear on what happiness means to YOU – what will it take for you to be more happy, more often? Do you need time in nature on the weekends? Time with friends? Alone time? Do you need a run with your four-legged best friend?

When we release our jobs from being a source of happiness, we might actually find more happiness at work.

So here’s the bottom line: Quit “shoulding” all over yourself. Allow yourself not to expect things from your job, your boss, your coworkers — other than the basics of safely, compensation, and maybe some insurance — then be pleasantly surprised when something good happens.

Are you in the wrong job that chips away at you every day? The document and coaching programs offered by Exclusive Career Coaching will help you find a job that uses your zone of genius, recognizes your value, and pays you what you’re worth.

If you’re ready to take your job search to the next level by working with a highly experienced professional with a track record of client success, schedule a complimentary consult to learn more: 

https://calendly.com/lesaedwards/zoom-meetings2

My guest this week is Hannah Tackett, software design manager turned burnout coach, and we are talking about the success traps that lead to burnout. Hannah describes her personal journey with burnout, what burnout actually IS (and isn’t), and the signs you are on your way to burnout.

Having navigated her own career-halting burnout, she helps high-achieving women end the cycle of people-pleasing & perfectionism so they can experience success with energy, focus, and serenity.

I found the success traps that lead to burnout fascinating – and completely understandable. But Hannah doesn’t leave us hanging – she gives tips for heading off burnout and returning to balance.

You can find Hannah at: https://serenesuccess.net/

You can find Hannah’s Burnout Score Quiz at: https://serenesuccess.net/score

If you are a high-achieving professional with the goal of landing in the C-suite, the Highly Promotable coaching program may be just the ticket! This 1:1 program is targeted to strategically leverage one of your strengths to become a signature strength — and move the needle on one of your developmental areas so it becomes a strength.

This is a four-figure investment in your professional future! If this sounds like just what you need, schedule a complimentary introductory call to determine if you are a fit for Highly Promotable:

https://calendly.com/lesaedwards/highly-promotable-introductory-call

Want to schedule a Power Hour with me? Here's the link to sign up through September:

https://calendly.com/lesaedwards/power-hour

A buzz word I’m hearing and seeing a lot these days is “Growth Mindset.” I even mentioned in a recent episode.

Full disclosure: While I have an idea of what a Growth Mindset is, I didn’t really know until I did the research for this episode.

As I’ve said before, sometimes my topics come from what clients and prospective clients are asking me, sometimes from what I’m reading and hearing in the zeitgeist, and sometimes from my own knowledge gap.

Here’s a definition of a Growth Mindset:

“The belief that a person's abilities can be improved through effort, learning, and persistence. It's about how a person approaches challenges, processes failures, and adapts and evolves as a result. People with a growth mindset believe that their skills and intelligence can be developed, and that they can continue to learn and become more intelligent. They tend to be more willing to engage in deliberate practice and continuous learning and are more likely to seek out new opportunities for learning and skill acquisition.”

Stanford professor Carol Dweck first discussed the concept of growth mindset in her 2006 book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, which was based on her study of students’ and children's attitudes towards failure. Some key elements of a growth mindset include: 

• Intelligence can be developed

People with a growth mindset believe that intelligence is not static but can be developed. 

• Embrace challenges

People with a growth mindset are willing to take on challenges and persist in the face of setbacks. 

• See effort as a path to mastery

People with a growth mindset understand that skill development requires effort and believe that their success depends on time and effort. 

• Learn from criticism

People with a growth mindset are open to learning from criticism and input from others. 

• Find inspiration in the success of others

People with a growth mindset can find inspiration in the success of others. 

On Sunbright Education’s website, I found this comparison of a Growth Mindset vs. a Fixed Mindset:

Believes that intelligence and talent can be improved VS

Believes that intelligence and talent are fixed

The Growth Mindset leads to embracing flaws and mistakes as opportunities for growth, accepting setbacks as part of the learning process, and feeling empowered to reach goals.

The Fixed Mindset leads to hiding flaws and mistakes, feeling ashamed about “failures,” giving up easily, and being unmotivated to strive for, or achieve, goals.

Here are some keyword comparisons:

Developed IQ vs. Innate IQ

Motivation vs. Resistance

Effort vs. Inertia

Acceptance vs. Guilt

Inspiration vs. Comparisons

Feedback vs. Criticism

There has been a lot of neuroscientific research into Growth Mindset, with studies showing differences in brain chemistry, improved academic performance, reduced burnout, fewer psychological issues, and others. What we’re really talking about here is neuroplasticity – which has been directly correlated to things like Alzheimer's disease and other cognitive disorders.

I’m pretty sure that most of my listeners have a Growth Mindset – after all, you’re listening to this podcast to grow professionally, aren’t you?

There may, however, be areas where you haven’t developed your Growth Mindset as well as in other areas. Here are some tips for practicing some Growth Mindset self-talk:

“This task is really hard because I’m still developing my problem-solving skills in this area” VS. “I’m finding this task hard because I’m stupid/I’m not naturally good at this sort of thing.”

“I’m not a “math person” – yet! I just need to keep working at it!” VS. “I’m not a math person. I’d like to be, but it’s just not one of my strengths.”

“When I struggle with something, it means I’m learning.” VS. “When I struggle with something, it means I’m a failure.”

“I didn’t do great, but I don’t have to get it perfect this time. I just need to grow my understanding step by step.” VS. “I didn’t do great, but I tried my best. What’s the point in trying again if I didn’t get it perfect this time?”

Here’s a mantra I say to myself whenever I’m tackling something new and difficult:

“This is hard, and I can do hard things.”

I have talked often on this podcast about Winning vs. Learning, rather than Winning vs. Losing. The only way you lose is if you stop trying.

How can we develop a Growth Mindset? Here are 10 strategies, according to the website futurelearn.com:

#1 – Identify your own current mindset (awareness)

#2 – Revisit areas in which you’ve already made improvements (self-efficacy)

#3 – Review the success of others (self-efficacy)

#4 – Seek feedback (openness)

#5 – Harness the power of “yet” (weaknesses aren’t fixed)

#6 – Learn something new (get out of your comfort zone)

#7 – Make mistakes (practice learning from them)

#8 – Be kind to yourself (self-talk)

#9 – Look at examples (study others)

#10 – Set realistic goals (challenge yourself, but don’t set yourself up for failure)

I thought I would leave you with some Growth Mindset quotes I like:

“There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.” Colin Powell

“Being challenged in life is inevitable, being defeated is optional.” Roger Crawford

“Great works are performed not by strength, but by perseverance.” Samuel Johnson

Are you in the wrong job that chips away at you every day? The document and coaching programs offered by Exclusive Career Coaching will help you find a job that uses your zone of genius, recognizes your value, and pays you what you’re worth.

If you’re ready to take your job search to the next level by working with a highly experienced professional with a track record of client success, schedule a complimentary consult to learn more: 

https://calendly.com/lesaedwards/zoom-meetings2