The Fifth Column

Moynihan joins from Europe. Robbie Soave (Reason, Rising, Sheetz & Giggles) guests — bravely joining the fellas after stopping by the local precinct so he could report his scooter stolen. Plus; Epstein conspiracies, whether Sydney Sweeney’s jeans are saving America, and debate the merits of dating an AI girlfriend.

* Pimponomics

* Victimized

* Scooter Evangelism

* Robbie is a nerd

* European Hobos to Hotness Index (HHX)

* Epstein: Still Boring, Still Dead

* Robbie really is a nerd

* Trafficking Stats and the Seagull Defense

* Campus Crackdown Expands

* Trump, Tariffs, and Inventory Economics

* Sydney’s Sweeney Jeans (and Whiteness of the Whale)

* Robby Comes Out, Kmele Has Notes

Recorded: 8.1.2025

Moynihan is somewhere in Europe. Eli Lake (The Free Press, Breaking History) fills in. And Kmele sustained a harrowing podcast-related injury that postponed a recording (and nearly cost him a finger).

* Meat & Memory

* Colbert Gets the Axe

* Small Packages

* A Yearslong Coup?

* Russiagate Replay

* Accountability and Missed Opportunities

* The Never-Ending Epstein Drama

* An (Inevitably) Dysfunctional Government (if you can keep it)

Recorded: 7.24.2025

* An enigma wrapped inside a…wait, what does that word mean?

* Wait, what did you call it??? (Take a guess)

* Buffalo Bills, the preferred team of all Mossad agents

* How to not write a news story

* You know, Epstein was pretty close with many MAGA figures

* Bannon’s crisis PR business?

* Tulsi and the “seditious conspiracy”

* Russia redux

* Michael McDonald’s Faye Dunaway story

* …

* Crazy from the heat

* AMA

* Who is Jim Walden??

* The dumbest civil war

* So we have to discuss the Epstein “issue” again, eh?

* I think we solved the case…

* Leaving breadcrumbs in the archives

* Jimmy Carter and the aliens

* That’s a lotta airstrikes

* The plastic surgery exception

* Kurt Russell, American

* The next, hottest Nobelist

* Matt discovers Mass

* Because Matt is cruisin’

* Boats and hoes

* An ultra exclusive event! The Fifth…on the high seas??

* The Epstein hoax

* Very dumb people holding empty Trapper Keepers

* Fake numbers transform into facts!

* Does anyone know how this stuff works?

* The client list ███████ █████

* Why do people want this stuff to be true?

* A few notes on the forthcoming film Eddington

* The BLM victory failure

* The forever revolt against the elites

* Two overlooked terror attacks in Texas

* Put them on ICE

A few weeks ago, we mentioned that newly minted Iran expert Joy Reid went on CNN and provided her damning verdict on America’s relationship with Iran: acktchully, she gravely intoned, the United States brought the ire of the Iranian dictatorship upon itself by engineering the 1953 coup against the “democratically elected” Iranian leader Mohammed Mossade…

As the Supreme Court wraps up its term, the boys again summon Damon Root, author of Overruled: The Long War for Control of the U.S. Supreme Court, to break down the various rulings (for those of us who don’t pay attention but still want to convince Scott Bakula to time travel and deport baby Kmele). Post-Damon, another hour…during which Matt tells the story of his car being smashed up by Russian trash men (which, surprisingly, is not a euphemism), Zohran code switches, the Big Ugly Bill lurches through the Senate, and stupid “revolutionaries” think it’s their moment. Yet again.

* Fleeeeeeeee

* Don’t mess with the Zohran

* Andrew Cuomo, Shah of NYC

* Eric Adams to the rescue? (Oof)

* Post-colonial Disney movies

* Scarcity Democrats

* Pull the fire alarm on this drunk idiot

* This means nothing for national Democratic politics

* And isn’t about Israel

* Were the bunkers busted?

* Hot Ukrainians save lives

* NATO not so bad after all

* Joy Reid, smug master of Wikipedia

* OKC saluted

No listener mail this time. We’ll double up on the next Members Only. Just an hour-long conversation about Iran…

(Moynihan note upon relisten: Qasem Soleimani was the commander of the Quds Force within the IRGC, not the IRGC itself)

Two episodes in one! First, the lads discuss Iran, the legacy of the Iraq War, and MAGA’s internecine battles over foreign policy. And then Harry Siegel, the great chronicler of New York City politics, stops by to answer that hugely important question: will the financial capital of the world, the city with the largest Jewish population outside of Israel, soon be governed by an anti-capitalist weirdo who thinks that “globalize the intifada” is just another way of saying “give peace a chance”?