The Flop House

We squander our newfound viral success by spending this episode talking about the movie Bratz.  Meanwhile, Stuart solves an unsolvable math problem, Dan lauds the film's convention-defying use of time, and Elliott gives the youth a lesson about teetotaling.  0:00 - 0:34 - Introduction and theme.0:35 - 2:19 - A noble attempt at professionalism crashes and burns almost immediately.  Also, we explain our mission statement.2:20 - 40:37 - We giggle like grade-school girls over the Bratz movie.40:38 - 43:34 - Final judgements.43:35 - 54:38 - The sad bastards recommend. 54:39 - 57:37 - Podcasty business, goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

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We devote this Flop House Movie Minute to the ultimate in nostalgia sequels.

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In our least-edited show yet we discover that big stars, glossy production values, and a classic story can't save you from being snatch'd by the Flop House, as we discuss The Invasion.  Meanwhile, Elliott tries to sell us on his medical humor, Stuart imagines the sassy sentient skateboard of his dreams, and Dan auditions for several other podcasts.0:00 - 0:35 Introduction and theme0:36 - 2:46 A podcast warning is issued, and a dead-on George Takai impression is met with thundering indifference.2:46 - 40:54 We talk about The Invasion, the latest and least-greatest take on Invasion of the Body Snatchers.  At least Nicole Kidman wears a tight sweater.40:55 - 42:38 Final judgments.42:39 - 55:09 The sad bastards recommend.55:10 - 56:05 Some nonsense about Karate Kid to close the show.56:07 - 58:56 Thanks, podcasty business, goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

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In the second of our short, supplemental episodes, noted raconteur Stuart Wellington describes his encounter with noted werewolf-hunter Kate Beckinsale.

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0:00 - 0:30 - Introduction and theme.0:30 - 3:21 - We waste a fair amount of time talking about our new microphones.3:22 - 28:50 - Jessica Alba AND Hayden Christensen?  Is there any way the movie Awake CAN'T be good?28:51 - 37:20 Final judgements37:21 - 38:57 A brief intermission for a story about Dan in his pajamas.38:58 - 51:44 The sad bastards recommend51:45 - 56:26 Podcasty business, goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

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We're going to start producing short, supplemental episodes to put out in weeks without a full-length Flop House, so that listeners don't have to wait quite so long for new content.  In this first episode, Dan addresses some of the material lost (thanks to technical difficulties) from the Awards Floptacular episode. We hope you like the new Movie Minute supplements.  Thanks for listening.

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Special guest Elliott Kalan returns to discuss what has been called "The Academy Awards of movies," the Oscars. Meanwhile, Stuart hands out tips about the Internet, Dan learns what it means to be a really unlikely stripper, and Elliott fears running afoul of Wayne Enterprises.

0:00 - 0:33 Introduction and theme.

NOTE: I incorrectly identified our email address as "theflophouse" at gmail.com. It is, of course, "theflophousepodcast" (of course because, in 2008, every other damn email address had been taken).

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Comedian Ritch Duncan joins us, to talk about Good Luck Chuck, starring "comedian" Dane Cook, in a poignant film about love lost, found, and crotch-biting penguins. Meanwhile Dan makes a plea for exploitation filmmakers to stick to their guns, Ritch explains when to allow a bird to ingest its own feces, and Stuart encourages our audience in an act of vandalism against video stores across the nation.

0:00 - 0:32 Introduction and theme.

Two notes, one good, one bad:

The GOOD: I've discovered how to compress these files further, so that, going forward, the shows will not be monster 80 MB downloads. Sorry about the size of previous episodes. You'll note that this one, despite being nearly an hour, is a svelte 25 MB.

The BAD: This episode has an (extremely, extremely quiet, but still noticeable) constant stream of background chatter. I do not know why. Most likely, the headphones for my TV were switched on, and near the mic, while recording, so that we could not hear this ambient noise during the session, but it got picked up on the podcast. Sorry about that -- it won't happen again. In the meanwhile, why don't you pretend that you're listening to this episode on old-fashioned terrestrial radio, and what you're hearing is the next channel in the AM dial bleeding into this one. It'll make you feel like you're on a long road trip with your parents... except that your folks are inexplicably listening to three foul-mouthed guys kicking a movie while it's down. Enjoy!

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In this episode, Colbert Report staff writer Frank Lesser joins us, to see what happens next, in Next (hint: it has something to do with Nicholas Cage's hair). Meanwhile, Stuart reveals his vulnerability to bullets, Dan describes his super-power, and Frank pitches a romantic comedy built on Next's charred remains.

0:00 – 0:35 Introduction and theme.

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Daily Show segment producer and Metro columnist Elliott Kalan joins us, to discuss Lindsay Lohan's tour de force dual performance as a girl and another, slightly sluttier girl, in I Know Who Killed Me.  Meanwhile, Stuart discusses decorating plans for his evidence dungeon, Dan mentions a lost Neil Simon play that should stay lost, and Elliott fills us in on the life and works of Art Bell.0:00 – 0:32 Introduction and theme.0:33 – 36:54 I Know Who Killed Me - just as lurid as the title suggests?  Or lurid-er?36:55 – 40:15 Final judgments.40:16 – 45:13 The sad bastards recommend.45:14 – 48:13 Podcasty business, goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.A note: we've eliminated the movie synopsis at the beginning of the episode, as we've heard people say that they'd rather just get into the fun stuff right away.  However, if you want a little context for the discussion, we'll still post links to the Wikipedia pages for these films, which tend to have fairly thorough plot summaries.Daily Show segment producer and Metro columnist Elliott Kalan joins us, to discuss Lindsay Lohan's tour de force dual performance as a girl and another, slightly sluttier girl, in I Know Who Killed Me.  Meanwhile, Stuart discusses decorating plans for his evidence dungeon, Dan mentions a lost Neil Simon play that should stay lost, and Elliott fills us in on the life and works of Art Bell.0:00 – 0:32 Introduction and theme.0:33 – 36:54 I Know Who Killed Me - just as lurid as the title suggests?  Or lurid-er?36:55 – 40:15 Final judgments.40:16 – 45:13 The sad bastards recommend.45:14 – 48:13 Podcasty business, goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.A note: we've eliminated the movie synopsis at the beginning of the episode, as we've heard people say that they'd rather just get into the fun stuff right away.  However, if you want a little context for the discussion, we'll still post links to the Wikipedia pages for these films, which tend to have fairly thorough plot summaries.

Help support this show and unlock bonus content! Become a member at https://maximumfun.org/joinflop