In this episode of The Grounded Union Podcast, we dive deep into the moment we realized traditional marriage advice wasn’t cutting it—like, literally getting booted from a counselor's office kind of not cutting it. What do you do when the experts tell you to settle for “good enough” healing? Spoiler: You don’t settle.

We share the wild stories of counselors who downplayed our marriage struggles, labeled Caitlyn as “too demanding,” and insisted that lifelong sexual brokenness was just... normal.

We unpack how denial sneaks in, why radical honesty is the only way to real intimacy, and what happens when you clean house—emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and yes, even digitally. If you've ever felt stuck cycling through the same old advice and getting nowhere, this episode is the call-out and the call-up you didn’t know you needed.

Prepare yourself: no more secrets...

Our 2025 Grounded Union 2-Day Workshops:
📍 Mesa, Arizona – April 12th & 13th
📍 Portland, Oregon – June 7th & 8th
📍 San Diego, California – August 22nd & 23rd (In-Person & Virtual)
📍 Maui, Hawaii – October 10th-13th (3-Day Marriage Intensive—limited to 20 couples, lodging included!)
Workshops for Couples: Tap here to attend one of our 2025 in-person workshops

Looking for immediate support in your marriage?
Community for Men: Tap here to join the app with a 14-day FREE trial

Workshops for Couples: Tap here to attend one of our 2025 in-person workshops
Grounded Intimacy Program: Tap here for more info on our online couples program
 
Follow us on social at @brandontalksmarriage & @caitlyn_doerksen
Check out our IG account to stay updated @groundedunionpodcast
YouTube Show available here

Timestamps & Key Moments:

• 00:00:00 –  Welcome back! Updates on live events and why this episode picks up where Episode 1 left off.
• 00:02:30 – The Counselor Showdown – Brandon shares the story of getting kicked out for wanting full transparency.
• 00:06:10 – "Codependent" and Other Mislabels – Caitlyn discusses why women seeking healing often get wrongly blamed.
• 00:11:40 – The Myth of "Men Will Always Struggle" – Why one counselor’s hopeless advice was the final straw.
• 00:16:20 – The Problem with Too Many Voices – How limiting outside opinions helped Brandon stop minimizing his behavior.
• 00:23:00 – No More Secrets – The power of sharing everything (yes, even the ugly stuff) to rebuild true intimacy.
• 00:30:15 – Facing Denial Head-On – Why denial is the shield keeping you stuck—and how to break it down.
• 00:36:45 – Thank You & Goodbye to Denial – The process Brandon used to acknowledge, release, and move past old patterns.
• 00:44:20 – The Purge – What it looked like to spend 30+ days clearing out every hidden secret and starting fresh.
• 00:51:40 – When Life Falls Apart (For the Better) – Why things might get worse before they get better—and why it’s worth it.
• 01:00:05 – Your Invitation – Brandon and Caitlyn invite you to join the same radical healing journey they took.

In this episode of Grounded Union Podcast, hosts Brandon and Caitlyn Doerksen pull back the curtain on the painful and transformative journey of their marriage. From youthful naivety to a devastating breakdown in 2019, they reveal how hidden struggles, denial structures, and deep-seated beliefs about love and sexuality nearly tore them apart. Brandon's years of deception—justified by religious paradigms—led to a cycle of betrayal and broken trust, while Caitlyn stood firm in her standards for intimacy and transparency. Together, they share how they dismantled toxic cycles, faced their deepest wounds, and rebuilt a marriage based on radical honesty and genuine connection. If you've ever wondered if true healing is possible after betrayal, this episode is your proof that it is. 💛

Our 2025 Grounded Union 2-Day Workshops:
📍 Mesa, Arizona – April 12th & 13th
📍 Portland, Oregon – June 7th & 8th
📍 San Diego, California – August 22nd & 23rd (In-Person & Virtual)
📍 Maui, Hawaii – October 10th-13th (3-Day Marriage Intensive—limited to 20 couples, lodging included!)
Workshops for Couples: Tap here to attend one of our 2025 in-person workshops

Looking for immediate support in your marriage?
Community for Men: Tap here to join the app with a 14-day FREE trial

Workshops for Couples: Tap here to attend one of our 2025 in-person workshops
Grounded Intimacy Program: For couples working through broken trust, tap here for more info
Follow us on social at @brandontalksmarriage & @caitlyn_doerksen
YouTube Show available here

Timestamps & Key Moments

• 00:00:28 – Welcome to the Grounded Union Podcast! Brandon and Caitlyn introduce their story and the importance of honoring your own marriage journey.
• 00:01:30 – The early years: Getting married young, checking all the “right” boxes, and still feeling unprepared.
• 00:02:39 – The first betrayal: Caitlyn discovers Brandon looking at inappropriate content—not porn, but still a breach of trust.
• 00:04:09 – Lies, emotional shutdown, and living a double life while in ministry.
• 00:07:04 – The toxic five-year cycle: Lies, promises, and repeated betrayal.
• 00:10:56 – "It’s all the same at the root": Why all forms of betrayal, big or small, stem from unhealed traumas and cultural mindsets.
• 00:16:36 – 2019: The breaking point. Caitlyn draws a line—no more lies, no more empty promises.
• 00:21:02 – Denial structures: How men justify their behavior and why breaking through requires total honesty.
• 00:25:07 – The painful truth: If you don’t face reality, the cycle will continue.
• 00:32:51 – Holding the standard: Why Caitlyn refused to lower her expectations, and how that saved their marriage.
• 00:40:14 – A pivotal moment: A Christian counselor exposes his own biases, leading Brandon to choose his marriage over broken male paradigms.
• 00:45:44 – The decision: Brandon finally commits to total transparency and healing.