By Marya Choby
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The podcast currently has 15 episodes available.
How restful are your weekends?
Do you wake up on Saturday mornings planning to do your chores and errands first to get them over with, and then, before you know it, you get to Sunday and you realize you never stopped doing tasks?
On Sunday night, you feel tense about starting a new week because you had zero time to rest and recharge.
I have been there.
Then, learning about Human Design, I discovered that the body’s most powerful energy motor, the Sacral Center, turns on in response to opportunities that light you up. And I started to rethink how I use my free time for rest, switching up my priorities to focus on doing what feels good and restorative first, before doing anything else.
We live in an anti-rest culture and are conditioned to pack our days full and to be productive 7 days of the week.
But the good news is that there’s a cultural pushback occurring. People are talking more and more about creating an anti-hustle culture. One that prioritizes well-being, really resting, and having more by doing less.
This is a movement that is good for empathic highly sensitive people, giving more acceptance to the notion that resting doesn’t mean weakness or laziness, but is instead an act of care and self-love, and an expression of how you value yourself and your physical and emotional health.
And so in the latest episode of the podcast, I’m talking all about rest. You will learn…
I hope this episode will give you a nudge to rest in a way that works for you.
View the Show Notes for this episode
Links + Resources Mentioned in this Episode
Episode 3, How to Cope with Intense Situations as a Highly Sensitive Person
Episode 4, How to Cope with your Feelings as a Highly Sensitive Person
Episode 10, An Introduction to Human Design for Highly Sensitive People
Episode 11, Got Empath Overload? What Human Design Shows You About Being an Empath + How to Cope
Episode 12, Exhaustion, Hustle + Burnout: What Human Design Can Teach HSPs About Fatigue
Grab my free guide to getting started with Human Design for HSPs
Grab a 50-page written guide to your unique Human Design. Receive a downloadable custom blueprint to guide you as you begin to incorporate the principles of Human Design in your life, based on your unique Human Design Chart. I custom create each guide.
Connect with Me
Subscribe to my email newsletter to receive regular news from me and notification when a new episode goes live
Connect with me on Pinterest at Happy Highly Sensitive L
Are you happy at work?
Work has always felt like an important part of who I am. But, I’ve also felt like a mismatch for the world of work in terms of how it left me depleted.
Perhaps you’ve felt this way too?
If you’re an empathetic person, the work that expands your energy may also contract and drain your energy.
Even work environments that say self-care is important for employees, have workplace norms that make it more difficult to get what you need.
Knowing that, in this episode, I'm sharing 5 things I wish I’d known as an HSP when I first started working.
And, how accepting that I felt “different” gave me permission to find the freedom to think differently about what I needed from work.
Also, for the first time, I share why I felt so turned upside down by working as a therapist.
I hope that this episode will give you permission to craft your work in a way that works for you. And that the resources I mention will help you care for yourself amid a busy work life.
Links + Resources Mentioned in this Episode
Episode 3, How to Cope with Intense Situations as a Highly Sensitive Person
Episode 4, How to Cope with your Feelings as a Highly Sensitive Person
Episode 11, Got Empath Overload? What Human Design Shows You About Being an Empath + How to Cope
Join The Aligned Job Short Course for HSPs. Until March 31st, use promo code SPRINGBREAK to take $10 off and join the class for just $38.
Connect with Me
Subscribe to my email newsletter to receive regular news from me and notification when a new episode goes live
Connect with me on Pinterest at Happy Highly Sensitive Life
I will confess that there are certain terms that come from the therapy world that lead me to feel a bit put off. Boundaries. Enmeshment. Codependent to name a few.
You may know that I am a former therapist. And because of that, you may think that, at some point, I had an affinity for these terms.
But, I know firsthand, as someone who needed to learn better boundaries in my life, that there’s a certain level of shame that goes with discovering you resonate with these terms.
What ends up happening is that we label ourselves as having bad boundaries. And the word “bad” sticks with how we identify ourselves.
The language we use to talk about ourselves is important. Words assign meaning and also influence how we feel about having the potential to evolve, learn, and grow.
After learning about Human Design and how the energy Centers function, I prefer to shift the focus from talking about setting boundaries to talking about staying self-connected.
Staying self-connected means maintaining focus on your own wants and needs in the midst of absorbing energy from others that could overpower or disrupt that self-attunement.
As HSPs, we so often find ourselves just knowing or intuiting the wants and needs of others. And our own wants and needs can get pushed to the back burner and remain unspoken as a result.
Learning to stay self-connected is about staying aware of your wants and needs, and feeling assured to speak up about what’s important to you so that you protect your time, physical energy, and emotional energy.
At times in my life, when I’ve considered bringing up a hard topic of conversation, I would analyze the situation from every possible angle, trying to imagine how the other person would respond and what I would say back. The idea of speaking up felt really hard.
If you’ve been in this place, you’re not the only one.
I’m here to say, please don’t give up on saying what you need because it feels overwhelming.
When you put your life on autopilot without steering the course of it, saying yes and agreeing to whatever comes your way, absorbing the emotions and wants and needs of others at the expense of your own, giving what you don’t have to give, leads to frustration, anger and disappointment. It’s hard to thrive emotionally and physically.
It is possible to learn how to stay self-connected and to speak up for your wants and needs.
In this episode of the podcast, I’ll talk about just that. You will learn…
If you find yourself saying yes when you really mean no, my hope is that this episode will give you a new way to reframe setting boundaries and give yourself grace as you try a new and different way of relating to others.
Connect with Me
Visit the show notes for this episode.
Grab a 50-page written guide to your unique Human Design. Receive a downloadable custom blueprint to guide you as you begin to incorporate the principles of Human Design in your life, based on your unique Human Design Chart. I custom create each guide.
Subscribe to my email newsletter to receive regular news from me and notification when a new episode goes live.
As highly sensitive people, we push ourselves hard to…
We’re super conscientious, wanting to give our best to everyone and everything. To not let people down, even if it means sacrificing ourselves.
Exhaustion and burnout are signs something needs to give.
The messages about needing to hustle to “live the good life” have us all mixed up.
But Human Design shows us how to get back on track and how physical energy is activated.
We each have our own unique configuration for generating energy.
In this episode, you will learn…
We receive so much conditioning and so many messages about how we should live hard and play hard. We see how people around us race through life, rushing from one thing to the next, surviving on caffeine and skimping on sleep and we think that’s how we should manage our energy too.
My hope is that this information will give you a new understanding of yourself and your energy. And give you permission to create a life that gives you the space and time to rest and restore in the right way for you.
Links + Resources Mentioned in this Episode
Learn about The Aligned Job Short Course for HSPs
Episode 10, An Introduction to Human Design for Highly Sensitive People
Episode 11, Got Empath Overload? What Human Design Shows You About Being an Empath + How to Cope
Connect with Me
Subscribe to my email newsletter to receive regular news from me and notification when a new episode goes live
Connect with me on Pinterest at Happy Highly Sensitive Life
If you have a question for me about something you hear on this podcast or want to suggest a topic for a future episode, email me at [email protected]
One of the traits of being an HSP is being empathetic. And it’s always struck me that empathy shows up differently in different people. And in varying degrees. My way of experiencing empathy may feel different than yours.
When I discovered Human Design, I finally had a framework for understanding how we empathically experience other people. I knew the information I’m sharing in this podcast episode could lead to profound self-understanding for HSPs and empaths.
When you know and understand how your empathic transmissions occur, you can lean into the strengths that come with them and use mindful awareness to reduce the emotional toll that comes from experiencing others so strongly.
This episode is inspired by the questions I’ve received from HSPs. You are living and working led by your big caring hearts. On one hand, it feels so meaningful and important and is such an honor to understand others so deeply through your empathy. And on the other hand, taking in the energy of other people can make your own emotional load feel heavier and heavier. You may feel the quality of your own life evaporating.
So in the latest podcast episode, you will discover:
My goal is always to share information that will empower you and help you see new possibilities for living a life of greater ease that lights you up, and my hope is that this information will begin to do just that.
View the show notes for this episode
Connect with Me
Subscribe to my email newsletter to receive regular news from me and notification when a new episode goes live
Connect with me on Pinterest at Happy Highly Sensitive Life
If you have a question for me about something you hear on this podcast or want to suggest a topic for a future episode, email me at [email protected]
At Happy Highly Sensitive Life, you’ve seen me cover living as an HSP from a lot of different angles. As a multi-passionate person, I'm always following my intuition to discover and explore from a variety of perspectives.
If you’re wondering what’s on the horizon for Happy Highly Sensitive Life in 2022, this space will be evolving to explore living as an HSP through the lens of Human Design.
You may be wondering why Human Design is relevant for HSPs.
I know you come here for ideas, strategies and tips for living a life of greater ease that lights you up. You’re seeking answers and solutions for your life.
And if you’re feeling stuck and you’re not sure why a strategy works for someone else, but not for you, here’s why.
You are unique and you need solutions that are personalized, not one size fits all.
That’s where Human Design comes in.
Human Design is a personality assessment tool that synthesizes the ancient systems of astrology, the Hindu Chakra System, the Chinese I Ching, and the Kabbalah with genetics, biochemistry, quantum mechanics and astronomy. Your Human Design chart is based on your birth information and creates an image of your unique personality makeup.
Human Design is especially useful for HSPs.
We often struggle with fatigue. Human Design shows you how you can tap into sustainable energy and how you’re meant to work and rest to create a life that allows you to thrive.
We often question and second-guess ourselves. Human Design shows you how to tap into your inner knowing and wisdom to make decisions that are aligned for you. And that living in alignment expands your energy.
We take in the energy of other people. I’m often asked to talk about how to set boundaries and to share strategies for living as an empath or for dealing with difficult relationships.
Human Design provides insight into how you absorb energy from others, why conflict feels magnified, and how you experience pressure that can lead you to say yes when you want to say no.
Once you know how you take in the energy of others, you can learn to work with the energy in a new and different way.
I’ll explore these subjects in depth in the new year, through the lens of Human Design.
Seeing yourself through the lens of Human Design is so confirming. And, as I’ve studied to become a Human Design practitioner, I’ve repeatedly had moments of deeply seeing myself that have allowed me to develop more self-compassion for who I am and for how my life has progressed.
I have come home to myself with a level of self-trust I’ve never known before.
As an HSP, I know first hand that questioning and second-guessing yourself can be consuming. And that’s why I want other HSPs to have a chance to learn about their Human Design.
In the latest episode of the podcast, I’m talking about how to get started with learning about your Human Design.
You will discover…
If your intuition says it’s a fit, I hope you’ll join me for the next evolution of Happy Highly Sensitive Life and the podcast.
Connect with Me
Subscribe to my email newsletter to receive regular news from me and notification when a new episode goes live
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I used to lose myself in my relationships.
When I was in my 20s. I’d become quiet and censor myself around other people. I held back from saying what I thought. I tried to blend in and become a matching replica of the people around me because I felt different - like an old soul.
At some point, I noticed I was shrinking down. And holding back from being my true self.
Once I noticed it, I set out to live with greater congruence and authenticity. And since then, year after year, there’s one word that captures my intention for how I want to live, and that word is “alignment”.
As HSPs, it’s not hard to get disconnected from yourself. As energy readers, we absorb and feel influenced or pressured by the energy around us. By the fast decision makers, the fast movers, the seemingly fearless ones. We see how other people operate and think we’re supposed to operate in the world like them.
We feel the pressure to feel less, to act quickly, to be extroverted, or super social, and to adopt a live hard, play hard lifestyle. It’s easy to think we need to live the way we see other people living. Maybe we’ve even been told we need to toughen up and be less sensitive.
I used to think I wasn’t assertive enough and that I was too much of a people pleaser. I just needed to stand my ground more and be stronger and then I wouldn’t lose myself in relationships.
But I’ve shifted my understanding of this dynamic with the help of a tool that explains why I become a mirror of the people around me. And gives insight about what to do about it.
So in this episode, you will learn:
If you’re an empath or think of yourself as a people pleaser, this episode will give you a new perspective about how you absorb the energy of others, and what you can do to stay centered in yourself. I hope that it will help you view yourself with compassion, release self-judgment, and feel good being yourself.
Connect with Me
Subscribe to my email newsletter to receive regular news from me and notification when a new episode goes live.
Connect with me on Pinterest at Happy Highly Sensitive Life.
If you have a question for me about something you hear on this podcast or want to suggest a topic for a future episode, email me at [email protected].
Links + Resources Mentioned in this Episode
Run a free Human Design Chart at Genetic Matrix
Grab my free guide to getting started with Human Design for HSPs.
Visit the Show Notes
If you’re a highly sensitive person, then you know that socializing isn’t always an easy-breezy low-stress thing.
Because you’re a deep processor, when you’re in a group social setting, there’s a lot to tune into that can feel chaotic and overstimulating. Especially if you're in a new environment around new people.
Moving into a new social situation, going to holiday gatherings, parties, or weddings, requires a survival plan going in.
When I am going to a get-together, I approach socializing like running a marathon. You wouldn’t go into a 26-mile race or a party without a solid plan to make it through.
When I was in college, I survived social situations by drinking. But several years ago, I pretty much stopped drinking, even at parties. I hated how it made me feel the next day, and a single drink turned me into a quiet ghost in the corner. That was the opposite of the effect I was going for.
Without alcohol, I was anxious and felt like I was walking into a function naked. Unexpectedly, because alcohol wasn’t clouding my powers of observation, I learned a few things about how to survive and have more fun at social gatherings.
In this episode, I’m sharing what I learned that you can use to make it through a social gathering, whether or not you’re drinking.
In the last podcast episode of this year, you will learn...
I want you to have tips and strategies going into the holiday season to enjoy the events that you decide to attend. And also to give yourself permission to do only what feels aligned and lights you up.
Connect with Me
Subscribe to my email newsletter to receive regular news from me and notification when a new episode goes live.
Connect with me on Pinterest at Happy Highly Sensitive Life.
If you have a question for me about something you hear on this podcast or want to suggest a topic for a future episode, email me at [email protected].
Links + Resources Mentioned in this Episode
How to Cope with Intense Situations, Episode 3, The Happy Highly Sensitive Life Podcast
How to Cope with Your Feelings as a Highly Sensitive Person, Episode 4, The The Happy Highly Sensitive Life Podcast
This Science-Backed Mantra Will Help You Shine Under Pressure When All Eyes are on You
The Willpower Instinct by Dr. Kelly McGonigal
How to Have a Good Day by Caroline Webb
Call it analysis paralysis, avoiding, resisting, or procrastinating.
As a highly sensitive person, I’ve done my fair share of putting off doing things that disrupt my inner serenity. At that moment, overthinking feels like a way to outsmart risk.
HSPs have what researchers call a “pause and check” response. We stop and observe a situation before diving in. It’s part of our innate survival response. And since the trait of high sensitivity shows up in over 100 species, you can even see it when you spot a pack of deer wading into a pond for a cool drink. You may notice one or two holding back, taking their time and making sure it’s safe to grab some water.
My hesitating and holding back happened with so many things. Having a hard conversation, initiating a breakup, setting a boundary, making an important phone call. It even happened with things that I wanted to do.
It’s easy to find yourself stuck in analysis paralysis, trying to think your way into feeling ready to take action.
If you find that you’re feeling bored or uninspired in your life, maybe you’re protecting yourself and holding back too much.
In this episode, you will learn...
I’ve stayed stuck many times, trying to think my way into feeling ready. I know how this can become a trap for HSPs.
I want you to have another way to proceed so that your life expands into the life you want rather than stagnating and contracting. So the next time you’re trying to think your way into feeling ready, you’ll know the rightness of acting and be able to move forward.
Connect with Me
Subscribe to my email newsletter to receive regular news from me and notification when a new episode goes live.
Connect with me on Pinterest at Happy Highly Sensitive Life.
If you have a question for me about something you hear on this podcast or want to suggest a topic for a future episode, email me at [email protected].
Links + Resources Mentioned in this Episode
How to Cope with Intense Situations, Episode 3, The Happy Highly Sensitive Life Podcast
The 5-Second Rule by Mel Robbins
Add your name to the waitlist to learn with me about your unique Human Design through a personalized 50-page written guide to your design, life purpose and unique inner voice.
If you’re an HSP, an empath or someone who loves an HSP or empath, and you’re looking to understand your relationship better, this episode is for you and your partner.
For the very first time, my spouse, Adam, is joining me on the show! During the pandemic, I unexpectedly discovered that he is an empath who strongly feels the emotions of other people. We talk about how I made this discovery and how it gives Adam many strengths and also contributes to perfectionism and people-pleasing that leaves him worn out.
We talk about what Adam discovered when he took Elaine Aaron’s HSP quiz for the first time and how his results differ from mine. And about how my HSP overstimulation shows up during long family events and means I need time alone, and how in my urgency to get time by myself, I’m very much not a people pleaser.
Adam talks about how he makes sense of my HSP overstimulation and I talk about my perspective on Adam’s people-pleasing and how I’m learning to be patient with his perfectionism.
This episode is inspired by questions from you, the listeners, about being in a relationship with an HSP and empath.
Subscribe & Review
If you liked this episode, please rate and review The Happy Highly Sensitive Life Podcast on Apple Podcasts. This helps other HSPs find the show.
To receive automatic updates, subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts. Or subscribe to my email newsletter to receive regular news from me and notification when a new episode goes live.
Connect with Me
Continue the conversation on Instagram.
Visit Happy Highly Sensitive Life to read my writing.
Subscribe to my email newsletter to receive regular news from me and notification when a new episode goes live.
Links + Resources Mentioned in this Episode
Free Myers-Briggs-based personality test at 16personalities.com
Run a free Human Design Chart at GeneticMatrix.com using your birth date, time, country, city and state.
Take The Highly Sensitive Person Quiz by Dr. Elaine Aron, PhD
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