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The Locked up Living Podcast: Surviving and thriving in prisons and other challenging environments
The Locked up Living Podcast: Surviving and thriving in prisons and other challenging environments episodes
- Richard Buckworth (Video}; Why Feeling “Normal” Can Be the Biggest Lie After Adoption
In this interview, Dr Naomi Murphy and David Jones speak with Richard Buckworth about adoption, identity, and the long shadow of unprocessed trauma. Richard shares how his experience as an adoptee shaped his upcoming book, One Voice, and the therapeutic work he now does with family constellations, journey therapy, shamanic healing, and the Enneagram. The conversation explores belonging, self-worth, secrecy, people-pleasing, inherited trauma, and the importance of facing difficult truths with patience and self-awareness.
https://familyconstellationstherapy.com/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/richard-buckworth-11503966/
Key topics
- Why Richard wrote One Voice and challenged the belief that adoption had not affected him.
- The childhood feeling that something was “off,” including depression, disconnection, and not belonging.
- Emotional shutdown, dissociation, and survival strategies.
- Adoption-related vulnerabilities, including not looking like anyone in the family and feeling disconnected from one’s lineage.
- The complexity of the adoption triad: adoptees, biological parents, and adoptive parents.
- Discovering what “adopted” really meant at around age seven.
- Secrecy, identity confusion, and the experience of having two mothers and two fathers in different senses.
- Family constellation therapy and its focus on generational patterns and blocked family connections.
- How Richard combines constellation work with journey therapy, shamanic healing, and the Enneagram.
- Why truth, patience, and emotional honesty are central to healing.
Timestamps
- 00:00
Introducing Richard Buckworth
- 02:33
Why Richard wrote One Voice
- 05:05
Childhood feelings of not belonging
- 07:28
Emotional shutdown and dissociation
- 08:41
Coping with bullying and avoidance
- 10:24
Adoption, identity, and belonging
- 14:35
Separation at birth and adult mental health
- 17:13
The adoption triad
- 18:35
Understanding adoption at age seven
- 20:46
The confusing story of being “chosen”
- 23:34
Secrecy and having two mothers
- 25:24
What might have changed with earlier awareness
- 29:10
Epigenetics and intergenerational trauma
- 37:39
What family constellation therapy is
- 43:51
Somatic healing and listening to the body
- 47:50
Combining multiple therapeutic modalities
- 53:57
Advice for people disconnected from their roots
- 54:18
“The truth will set you free”
- 57:02
Honesty, family, and the next generation
Notable quotes
“It takes more effort to not feel than to actually feel.”
“The truth will set you free.”
“I was so good at lying to myself.”
Key frameworks
- Family constellation therapy:
Exploring present issues through family systems and generational patterns.
- Journey therapy:
Releasing emotional blocks and accessing feelings that were shut down.
- Shamanic healing:
Exploring ancestral patterns beyond a traditional seven-generation framework.
- The Enneagram:
Understanding motivation, avoidance, and behavioral patterns.
57 min - Joseph Millson (Video); How Abuse Shapes a Life—and How Stories Help Us Survive
In this conversation Naomi Murphy and David Jones are joined by Joseph Millson, actor, writer, filmmaker and singer, currently appearing in The Phantom of the Opera in London’s West End. He’s also the author of Miller Rose Roberts, a novella that moves between psychological realism and something more mysterious while exploring trauma, memory, identity, love, and recovery. In this conversation, Joseph talks about why creativity matters to wellbeing, how writing became a kind of journaling for him, and why he prefers ambiguity over neat explanations. They also discuss resilience, grief, anger, motherhood, and the role storytelling can play in making sense of painful experience.
Key topics
- In this episode, Joseph argues that creativity is not reserved for artists, because everyone uses creative thinking in some form, from mechanics to doctors to chefs.
- He shares the “right hand and left hand” idea: one side of life handles rent, family, and responsibilities, while the other side protects creative expression and imagination.
- Joseph explains why actors often feel the urge to move into writing and directing, because acting is usually interpreting someone else’s story rather than telling their own.
- We discuss how writing, especially journaling, can function as emotional processing even when no one else ever reads it.
- Joseph describes Miller Rose Roberts as a seven chapter novella built around seven year cycles, with the protagonist revisited at ages 7, 14, 21, 28, and beyond.
- He shares how the book blends realism with magical realism, including the recurring ringing in Miller’s ears that becomes an instruction to walk away.
- They talk about ambiguity in art and why Joseph prefers not to over explain mental health, grief, or the meaning of Miller’s experiences.
- Joseph reflects on writing female characters, saying he is fascinated by women’s experiences and by people who carry pain privately rather than sharing it.
- The conversation also touches on anger management, emotional numbness, and the idea that people need an outlet for grief and pain instead of suppressing it.
- Joseph closes by explaining how actors can access deep emotion safely through imagination, scaffolding, and play, without relying on unhealthy emotional recall.
Timestamps
00:00 - Introducing Joseph Milson and the themes of creativity and wellbeing
00:37 - Why creative work and day jobs often coexist01:37 - The “right hand and left hand” model of creative life03:33 - Why acting is a uniquely difficult art form04:32 - Writing as mental health support between auditions05:57 - Creativity as something everyone does07:47 - Why Signs of Life emerges from struggle08:13 - How Joseph moved from acting into writing and directing09:14 - Work and Other Four Letter Words and the value of self-reflection10:33 - Lockdown, screenwriting, and the start of Signs of Life11:33 - Grief, kindness, and the idea behind the film12:58 - Why actors eventually want to tell their own stories15:41 - Journaling as a form of creative processing18:42 - Writing from a woman’s perspective22:30 - The caravan park, the name Miller Rose Roberts, and the book’s origin23:55 - Seven year cycles and the structure of the novella24:49 - Tinnitus, the desert, and the magical realist premise26:51 - Leaving space for multiple interpretations29:29 - Grief, psychosis, and privacy as a defense mechanism30:36 - Anger management and the need for emotional outlets32:15 - Plant medicine, journaling, and looking at what hurts33:39 - Writer’s block and finding the ending35:08 - Why Joseph chose to write a novella rather than a full novel37:02 - Stephen King’s influence and Joseph’s admiration for novella length38:12 - Why resilience is hard to explain and impossible to reduce41:12 - Motherhood, loss, and the book’s emotional core44:08 - The deliberate use of “the mother” as a distancing device46:46 - Researching the 1980s, cigarettes, and period detail48:24 - Storytelling as a way of healing and narrating our lives50:42 - How actors protect themselves when working in deep emotional territoryNotable quotes
“The mistake are mistake. Something a lot of creatives do is put their creative life over here and everything else over there.”
“I believe my creative work is my journaling.”
“Art is a question mark.”
52 min - Joseph Millson (Audio); How Abuse Shapes a Life—and How Stories Help Us Survive
In this conversation Naomi Murphy and David Jones are joined by Joseph Millson, actor, writer, filmmaker and singer, currently appearing in The Phantom of the Opera in London’s West End. He’s also the author of Miller Rose Roberts, a novella that moves between psychological realism and something more mysterious while exploring trauma, memory, identity, love, and recovery. In this conversation, Joseph talks about why creativity matters to wellbeing, how writing became a kind of journaling for him, and why he prefers ambiguity over neat explanations. They also discuss resilience, grief, anger, motherhood, and the role storytelling can play in making sense of painful experience.
Key topics
- In this episode, Joseph argues that creativity is not reserved for artists, because everyone uses creative thinking in some form, from mechanics to doctors to chefs.
- He shares the “right hand and left hand” idea: one side of life handles rent, family, and responsibilities, while the other side protects creative expression and imagination.
- Joseph explains why actors often feel the urge to move into writing and directing, because acting is usually interpreting someone else’s story rather than telling their own.
- We discuss how writing, especially journaling, can function as emotional processing even when no one else ever reads it.
- Joseph describes Miller Rose Roberts as a seven chapter novella built around seven year cycles, with the protagonist revisited at ages 7, 14, 21, 28, and beyond.
- He shares how the book blends realism with magical realism, including the recurring ringing in Miller’s ears that becomes an instruction to walk away.
- They talk about ambiguity in art and why Joseph prefers not to over explain mental health, grief, or the meaning of Miller’s experiences.
- Joseph reflects on writing female characters, saying he is fascinated by women’s experiences and by people who carry pain privately rather than sharing it.
- The conversation also touches on anger management, emotional numbness, and the idea that people need an outlet for grief and pain instead of suppressing it.
- Joseph closes by explaining how actors can access deep emotion safely through imagination, scaffolding, and play, without relying on unhealthy emotional recall.
Timestamps
00:00 - Introducing Joseph Milson and the themes of creativity and wellbeing
00:37 - Why creative work and day jobs often coexist01:37 - The “right hand and left hand” model of creative life03:33 - Why acting is a uniquely difficult art form04:32 - Writing as mental health support between auditions05:57 - Creativity as something everyone does07:47 - Why Signs of Life emerges from struggle08:13 - How Joseph moved from acting into writing and directing09:14 - Work and Other Four Letter Words and the value of self-reflection10:33 - Lockdown, screenwriting, and the start of Signs of Life11:33 - Grief, kindness, and the idea behind the film12:58 - Why actors eventually want to tell their own stories15:41 - Journaling as a form of creative processing18:42 - Writing from a woman’s perspective22:30 - The caravan park, the name Miller Rose Roberts, and the book’s origin23:55 - Seven year cycles and the structure of the novella24:49 - Tinnitus, the desert, and the magical realist premise26:51 - Leaving space for multiple interpretations29:29 - Grief, psychosis, and privacy as a defense mechanism30:36 - Anger management and the need for emotional outlets32:15 - Plant medicine, journaling, and looking at what hurts33:39 - Writer’s block and finding the ending35:08 - Why Joseph chose to write a novella rather than a full novel37:02 - Stephen King’s influence and Joseph’s admiration for novella length38:12 - Why resilience is hard to explain and impossible to reduce41:12 - Motherhood, loss, and the book’s emotional core44:08 - The deliberate use of “the mother” as a distancing device46:46 - Researching the 1980s, cigarettes, and period detail48:24 - Storytelling as a way of healing and narrating our lives50:42 - How actors protect themselves when working in deep emotional territoryNotable quotes
“The mistake are mistake. Something a lot of creatives do is put their creative life over here and everything else over there.”
“I believe my creative work is my journaling.”
“Art is a question mark.”
52 min - Dr Beverley Samways (Audio); Why Self-Injury in Non-Speaking People Is Often Misread. Trauma Gets Missed in Learning Disability Care
This conversation explores Dr Beverley Samways work with people with learning disabilities who have experienced trauma and use little or no spoken communication. The discussion focuses on how self-injury has often been misunderstood through behavioural frameworks, and why a more relational, trauma-informed approach can reveal what people are actually trying to communicate. It also covers the role of grief, culture, power, and co-regulation in care.Beverley Samways, founder of Unique Connections and author of Unspoken Stories, shares findings from her PhD and years of frontline work. Naomi Murphy and David Jones bring in their own clinical reflections, especially around psychodynamic practice, person-centred care, and the importance of really seeing the person in front of you.
Unspoken Stories: Learning to Listen to People with Intellectual Disabilities who are Non-Speaking. https://pavpub.com/health-and-social-care/health-autism/unspoken-stories-learning-to-listen-to-people-with-intellectual-disabilities-who-are-non-speakingKey topics
- In this episode, Beverley explains how Unspoken Stories grew out of her PhD research with three teenagers who had learning disabilities, little or no speech, and histories of self-injury.
- She challenges the long-standing tendency to interpret self-injury in learning disability services mainly through applied behavioural analysis and “challenging behaviour.”
- Beverley argues that distress is often rooted in trauma, grief, attachment, and adverse experiences, not just immediate environmental triggers.
- She describes how, in her research, all three participants had trauma histories and all three eventually communicated more than they had on paper, despite being labelled non-verbal.
- Naomi reflects on her own shift from a behavioural placement into person-centred and sensory motor psychotherapeutic work, connecting Beverley’s account to Valerie Sinason’s influence.
- Beverley shares how communication happened differently with each young person, including drawing and writing with Cassie, and silent co-regulation and bodily attunement with Owen.
- The conversation returns repeatedly to the idea that people who do not speak still have a unique voice, and that listening long enough can reveal it.
- Beverley explains that many experiences become traumatic more easily for non-speaking people, especially hospital procedures, restraint, repeated transitions, and hidden grief.
- The episode also examines why care systems can become harmful, including the role of institutional culture, power, fear of emotion, and the pressure to keep people “happy.”
- Beverley describes how the sector is shifting slowly toward therapeutic and trauma-informed models, and how Unique Connections is trying to support that change one school and one team at a time.
Timestamps
(00:00) Introduction to Dr Beverly Samways and her work with trauma, learning disabilities, and non-speaking communication(01:30) How Unspoken Stories emerged from PhD research with three teenagers and their histories of self-injury(05:14) Why self-harm research shows similar patterns across geography and time(05:52) Beverley’s background in children’s social care, residential settings, and therapeutic training(08:47) The traditional behavioural approach to self-injury and why it can miss emotional meaning(14:08) How trauma exposure is much more common for people with learning disabilities, especially non-speaking people(17:09) Research methods that relied on time, presence, and psychodynamic attunement rather than words alone(19:11) How communication emerged differently with Cassie and Owen through drawing, silence, and co-regulation(21:08) Psychodynamic influences from Valerie Sinason, Anne Alvarez, and Frances Tustin(23:21) Naomi’s reflection on person-centred work and the surprise of what the research revealed(24:20) The most striking surprise: all three participants spoke in some form when given enough space and listening(27:09) Trauma in everyday care settings, including hospitals, restraint, transitions, and repeated moves(30:07) Why grief is often mistaken for trauma, and why emotional expression is frequently discouraged in care(32:34) Institutional history, deprivation of liberty, and the long shadow of segregation(34:59) How recovery depends on being seen, heard, and understood rather than treated as a behaviour problem(38:28) Bad actors, harmful systems, and why “bad apple” explanations are not enough(42:44) The emotional impact of the research on Beverley, including sustained sadness and changed assumptions(45:35) Unique Connections’ aims and the gradual move from behavioural models toward trauma-informed practice(48:20) How Beverley stays well through relationships, laughter, prayer, presence, and ordinary self-care
Notable quotes
“If we listen long enough, people will speak. Not necessarily with words, but everybody has something to say.”
“We’re cutting out an enormous chunk of ordinary human functioning from the way that we are understanding somebody simply because they have a learning disability.”
46 min - Dr Beverley Samways (Video); Why Self-Injury in Non-Speaking People Is Often Misread. Trauma Gets Missed in Learning Disability Care
This conversation explores Dr Beverley Samways work with people with learning disabilities who have experienced trauma and use little or no spoken communication. The discussion focuses on how self-injury has often been misunderstood through behavioural frameworks, and why a more relational, trauma-informed approach can reveal what people are actually trying to communicate. It also covers the role of grief, culture, power, and co-regulation in care.Beverley Samways, founder of Unique Connections and author of Unspoken Stories, shares findings from her PhD and years of frontline work. Naomi Murphy and David Jones bring in their own clinical reflections, especially around psychodynamic practice, person-centred care, and the importance of really seeing the person in front of you.
Unspoken Stories: Learning to Listen to People with Intellectual Disabilities who are Non-Speaking. https://pavpub.com/health-and-social-care/health-autism/unspoken-stories-learning-to-listen-to-people-with-intellectual-disabilities-who-are-non-speakingKey topics
- In this episode, Beverley explains how Unspoken Stories grew out of her PhD research with three teenagers who had learning disabilities, little or no speech, and histories of self-injury.
- She challenges the long-standing tendency to interpret self-injury in learning disability services mainly through applied behavioural analysis and “challenging behaviour.”
- Beverley argues that distress is often rooted in trauma, grief, attachment, and adverse experiences, not just immediate environmental triggers.
- She describes how, in her research, all three participants had trauma histories and all three eventually communicated more than they had on paper, despite being labelled non-verbal.
- Naomi reflects on her own shift from a behavioural placement into person-centred and sensory motor psychotherapeutic work, connecting Beverley’s account to Valerie Sinason’s influence.
- Beverley shares how communication happened differently with each young person, including drawing and writing with Cassie, and silent co-regulation and bodily attunement with Owen.
- The conversation returns repeatedly to the idea that people who do not speak still have a unique voice, and that listening long enough can reveal it.
- Beverley explains that many experiences become traumatic more easily for non-speaking people, especially hospital procedures, restraint, repeated transitions, and hidden grief.
- The episode also examines why care systems can become harmful, including the role of institutional culture, power, fear of emotion, and the pressure to keep people “happy.”
- Beverley describes how the sector is shifting slowly toward therapeutic and trauma-informed models, and how Unique Connections is trying to support that change one school and one team at a time.
Timestamps
(00:00) Introduction to Dr Beverly Samways and her work with trauma, learning disabilities, and non-speaking communication(01:30) How Unspoken Stories emerged from PhD research with three teenagers and their histories of self-injury(05:14) Why self-harm research shows similar patterns across geography and time(05:52) Beverley’s background in children’s social care, residential settings, and therapeutic training(08:47) The traditional behavioural approach to self-injury and why it can miss emotional meaning(14:08) How trauma exposure is much more common for people with learning disabilities, especially non-speaking people(17:09) Research methods that relied on time, presence, and psychodynamic attunement rather than words alone(19:11) How communication emerged differently with Cassie and Owen through drawing, silence, and co-regulation(21:08) Psychodynamic influences from Valerie Sinason, Anne Alvarez, and Frances Tustin(23:21) Naomi’s reflection on person-centred work and the surprise of what the research revealed(24:20) The most striking surprise: all three participants spoke in some form when given enough space and listening(27:09) Trauma in everyday care settings, including hospitals, restraint, transitions, and repeated moves(30:07) Why grief is often mistaken for trauma, and why emotional expression is frequently discouraged in care(32:34) Institutional history, deprivation of liberty, and the long shadow of segregation(34:59) How recovery depends on being seen, heard, and understood rather than treated as a behaviour problem(38:28) Bad actors, harmful systems, and why “bad apple” explanations are not enough(42:44) The emotional impact of the research on Beverley, including sustained sadness and changed assumptions(45:35) Unique Connections’ aims and the gradual move from behavioural models toward trauma-informed practice(48:20) How Beverley stays well through relationships, laughter, prayer, presence, and ordinary self-care
Notable quotes
“If we listen long enough, people will speak. Not necessarily with words, but everybody has something to say.”
“We’re cutting out an enormous chunk of ordinary human functioning from the way that we are understanding somebody simply because they have a learning disability.”
46 min - Mike Bell (audio); Boys Are Underachieving - Six Schools Proved It needn’t be so
In this important conversation David Jones and Dr Naomi Murphy talk about why so many boys underachieve at school with Mike Bell. And why has so little research been done on this subject?
Mike is a former science teacher, evidence-based teaching trainer, author of Fundamentals of Teaching, founder of the All-Party Parliamentary Group on Men and Boys issues, and lead researcher for the APPG’s 2023 inquiry into boys’ educational underachievement, explains the findings behind his latest book ‘Yes He Can’. He argues that boys’ underachievement is real, widespread, and not inevitable.
(https://www.amazon.co.uk/Closing-Attainment-Boys-Secondary-School/dp/1041242158)
We discuss the data behind the attainment gap, why the problem is most visible in secondary school, and what six British schools did to close the gap without extra resources or special training. Mike also challenges common assumptions about male teachers, toxic masculinity, and the causes of boys’ poor outcomes.
Key topics
Why Yes He Can is built largely from teacher transcripts and school practice, not theory
The size of the attainment gap from school readiness through GCSEs, A levels, and university
Why the gap narrows in primary school but widens again in secondary school
How primary teachers’ close knowledge of pupils creates more individualised support
The consequences of boys’ underachievement, including disengagement, NEET outcomes, and wider social costs
Why some boys become hostile to school when they feel lost, punished, and misunderstood
How school culture can become a place where boys actually want to come
Why the research base is weaker than people assume, despite widespread concern
Why Mike does not see male teacher shortages as the main explanation
Why the schools he studied were effective because they shared intentions, not identical methods
Timestamps (Approx)
00:00 - Technical setup and Mike Bell’s introduction
01:47 - What Yes He Can is about
03:27 - How the APPG inquiry led to the book
06:28 - The attainment gap from primary school to university
09:59 - Why secondary school widens the gap
11:30 - Social consequences of boys switching off
13:42 - Making school a place boys want to come to
15:16 - How school structure affects less able pupils
17:10 - Why boys were once seen as advantaged and girls as disadvantaged
18:57 - How the six schools were found and why primary practice mattered
20:26 - Why the research base on boys’ underachievement is so weak
23:33 - What the six successful schools had in common
24:58 - Why male teachers are not the key solution
26:58 - Why he rejects toxic masculinity as the root cause
43 min - Mike Bell (Video); Boys Are Underachieving - Six Schools Proved It needn’t be so
In this important conversation David Jones and Dr Naomi Murphy talk about why so many boys underachieve at school with Mike Bell. And why has so little research been done on this subject?
Mike is a former science teacher, evidence-based teaching trainer, author of Fundamentals of Teaching, founder of the All-Party Parliamentary Group on Men and Boys issues, and lead researcher for the APPG’s 2023 inquiry into boys’ educational underachievement, explains the findings behind his latest book ‘Yes He Can’. He argues that boys’ underachievement is real, widespread, and not inevitable.
(https://www.amazon.co.uk/Closing-Attainment-Boys-Secondary-School/dp/1041242158)
We discuss the data behind the attainment gap, why the problem is most visible in secondary school, and what six British schools did to close the gap without extra resources or special training. Mike also challenges common assumptions about male teachers, toxic masculinity, and the causes of boys’ poor outcomes.
Key topics
Why Yes He Can is built largely from teacher transcripts and school practice, not theory
The size of the attainment gap from school readiness through GCSEs, A levels, and university
Why the gap narrows in primary school but widens again in secondary school
How primary teachers’ close knowledge of pupils creates more individualised support
The consequences of boys’ underachievement, including disengagement, NEET outcomes, and wider social costs
Why some boys become hostile to school when they feel lost, punished, and misunderstood
How school culture can become a place where boys actually want to come
Why the research base is weaker than people assume, despite widespread concern
Why Mike does not see male teacher shortages as the main explanation
Why the schools he studied were effective because they shared intentions, not identical methods
Timestamps (Approx)
00:00 - Technical setup and Mike Bell’s introduction
01:47 - What Yes He Can is about
03:27 - How the APPG inquiry led to the book
06:28 - The attainment gap from primary school to university
09:59 - Why secondary school widens the gap
11:30 - Social consequences of boys switching off
13:42 - Making school a place boys want to come to
15:16 - How school structure affects less able pupils
17:10 - Why boys were once seen as advantaged and girls as disadvantaged
18:57 - How the six schools were found and why primary practice mattered
20:26 - Why the research base on boys’ underachievement is so weak
23:33 - What the six successful schools had in common
24:58 - Why male teachers are not the key solution
26:58 - Why he rejects toxic masculinity as the root cause
43 min - Kelly Edmondson (audio); Why Grief Support Fails When It Ends Too Soon
David Jones and Naomi Murphy meet Kelly Edmondson, healthcare executive, former trauma ICU nurse, board certified grief counsellor, bereaved mother, and founder of Timely Presence. This is a very powerful and moving account as Kelly describes some of the tragic moments that have led to her founding of Timely Presence. Kelly shares how years in high-pressure care shaped her understanding of trauma, resilience, and human connection. She also explains how the death of her son Darius led her to build a milestone-based grief support model that helps people show up meaningfully long after the funeral.
We discuss how grief changes over time, why people often struggle to support the bereaved, and the simple principles Kelly uses to help others stay present without saying the wrong thing. This is a deeply personal conversation about loss, purpose, and turning pain into practical support.
Key topics
Kelly Edmondson’s path from new graduate nurse in trauma ICU and burn care to grief counsellor and founder of Timely Presence
What caring for patients at the edge of life taught her about fragility, resilience, and the value of relationships
Why good clinicians should care deeply, while still maintaining enough emotional protection to keep functioning
The moment a young quadriplegic patient and his children reshaped her sense of purpose in care
How Kelly’s own family life and her son Darius’s death changed the way she saw grief, holidays, and time
Why the holiday season can be especially painful for bereaved families, and how her family uses “reframing the ritual”
The importance of saying a deceased person’s name, telling their stories, and keeping their legacy present
How Timely Presence was born from a Mother’s Day weekend that turned a looming trigger into a meaningful, supported experience
Why grief support is often front loaded around funerals, but the hardest moments usually come later
The three R’s Kelly recommends for supporting someone who is grieving: regulate, respond, remain
Timestamps
00:00 - Kelly Edmondson’s background in trauma care and grief support
01:39 - Entering trauma ICU and learning from life interrupted
04:44 - A young quadriplegic patient and the emotional weight of care
07:28 - Self-care habits that helped her stay grounded
09:48 - Parenthood, Christmas, and seeing grief through a caregiver’s eyes
13:51 - Reframing holiday rituals after the death of her son Darius
16:39 - Why talking about loss matters instead of avoiding it
21:31 - The Mother's Day weekend that inspired Timely Presence
24:58 - How Timely Presence works across the emotional calendar of grief
28:14 - Why people welcome structured grief support for difficult losses
30:56 - Advice for people going through loss and those trying to help
34:49 - The three R’s: regulate, respond, remain
37:46 - Closing reflections on Kelly’s story and legacy
40 min - Kelly Edmondson (Video); Why Grief Support Fails When It Ends Too Soon
David Jones and Naomi Murphy meet Kelly Edmondson, healthcare executive, former trauma ICU nurse, board certified grief counsellor, bereaved mother, and founder of Timely Presence. This is a very powerful and moving account as Kelly describes some of the tragic moments that have led to her founding of Timely Presence. Kelly shares how years in high-pressure care shaped her understanding of trauma, resilience, and human connection. She also explains how the death of her son Darius led her to build a milestone-based grief support model that helps people show up meaningfully long after the funeral.
We discuss how grief changes over time, why people often struggle to support the bereaved, and the simple principles Kelly uses to help others stay present without saying the wrong thing. This is a deeply personal conversation about loss, purpose, and turning pain into practical support.
Key topics
Kelly Edmondson’s path from new graduate nurse in trauma ICU and burn care to grief counsellor and founder of Timely Presence
What caring for patients at the edge of life taught her about fragility, resilience, and the value of relationships
Why good clinicians should care deeply, while still maintaining enough emotional protection to keep functioning
The moment a young quadriplegic patient and his children reshaped her sense of purpose in care
How Kelly’s own family life and her son Darius’s death changed the way she saw grief, holidays, and time
Why the holiday season can be especially painful for bereaved families, and how her family uses “reframing the ritual”
The importance of saying a deceased person’s name, telling their stories, and keeping their legacy present
How Timely Presence was born from a Mother’s Day weekend that turned a looming trigger into a meaningful, supported experience
Why grief support is often front loaded around funerals, but the hardest moments usually come later
The three R’s Kelly recommends for supporting someone who is grieving: regulate, respond, remain
Timestamps
00:00 - Kelly Edmondson’s background in trauma care and grief support
01:39 - Entering trauma ICU and learning from life interrupted
04:44 - A young quadriplegic patient and the emotional weight of care
07:28 - Self-care habits that helped her stay grounded
09:48 - Parenthood, Christmas, and seeing grief through a caregiver’s eyes
13:51 - Reframing holiday rituals after the death of her son Darius
16:39 - Why talking about loss matters instead of avoiding it
21:31 - The Mother's Day weekend that inspired Timely Presence
24:58 - How Timely Presence works across the emotional calendar of grief
28:14 - Why people welcome structured grief support for difficult losses
30:56 - Advice for people going through loss and those trying to help
34:49 - The three R’s: regulate, respond, remain
37:46 - Closing reflections on Kelly’s story and legacy
40 min - Dr Pawel Szczesny (Audio); The hidden AI risk nobody talks about: your thoughts start sounding borrowed
Dr Naomi Murphy, David Jones and Dr Pawel Szczesny have a conversation about AI.
This conversation explores how AI is shaping human thinking, decision-making, creativity, and workplace habits. Dr Szczesny, co-founder and CEO of Impersonato, explains why his company builds synthetic personas as “crash test dummies” for AI systems and why he believes AI should be treated more like a tool than a conversational companion.
We also discuss the risks of over-reliance, especially in mental health, the workplace, and personal identity, plus what healthy AI deployment could look like in organizations.
Impersonato — AI psychology company. We build psychologically realistic crash-test dummies.
Key topics
Pawel Szczesny’s background and development.
He describes a career path spanning experimental biology, computational biology, medical research, pharmaceutical research, pro-cognitive supplements, and psychology of AI systems.
Biology taught him humility: theories about complex systems are usually incomplete, and no system works in isolation.
Why Impersonato exists
How AI mirrors users
Why mirroring can become dangerous
Creativity: individual gains, collective loss
Good AI versus bad AI
Jobs, unemployment, and the “mass layoff” narrative
Why fluent AI sounds authoritative
Pawel says people still confuse polished language with expertise.
He warns that AI can produce beautifully written output that is entirely wrong, especially in areas that cannot be externally verified.
The “Claude Boys” phenomenon
Blurred authorship and reduced enjoyment
Who shapes AI systems
Ethics belongs to humans, not the model
How organizations should use AI
How he uses AI personally, he does not use AI outside work.
Timestamps
(00:00) Introduction to Dr Pawel Szczesny and why synthetic personas matter for AI safety
(01:05) From biology to psychology through a series of career pivots
(03:58) What Inpersonato does and why AI needs crash test dummies
(06:21) Testing therapy-support chatbots and companion systems
(07:33) How GPT-3 changed Pawel’s view of chatbot behavior
(09:25) Why AI mirrors education level, preferences, and psychology
(10:24) When AI reinforcement starts to resemble delusion
(12:29) How AI responds to loneliness and paranoia in users
(14:32) Career changes and subtle language adoption after heavy AI use
(16:44) Individual creativity rises, but collective creativity shrinks
(19:15) Why the healthiest AI should not rely on a conversational interface
(23:28) Lessons from typists, office assistants, and changing work
(24:27) Why mass unemployment is more marketing story than reality
(28:55) Why fluent writing is mistaken for expertise
(31:51) The “Claude Boys” and reverse cyborg behavior
(33:59) How constant AI advice can amplify anxiety
(35:00) Blurred authorship and the loss of creative joy
(37:49) Identity risk when writing or creating stops feeling rewarding
(38:48) Why Claude reflects a narrow entrepreneurial worldview
(43:52) Why ethics belongs to humans, not the AI model
(49:32) How organizations can build healthier AI habits
(53:58) A better internal rollout model: let employees experiment first
(56:04) How Pavel uses AI personally and why he takes breaks
47 min
About The Locked up Living Podcast: Surviving and thriving in prisons and other challenging environments
From the publisher's feed
Can institutional culture challenge your mental health? What if your job makes you feel shame, sadness, grief, disgust and fear? What if you are expected not to feel? Or you are expected to be…
relentlessly competitive? What it’s like to live or work in a prison? Does working with people who commit murder, child abuse and rape affect people who work in prisons and the wider criminal justice system?
How do people survive and thrive when facing significant challenges to our emotional health over a lengthy period? How do we protect ourselves and stay compassionate, loving and trusting? Importantly, how do we find and preserve hope?
Fyodor Dostoevsky wrote that “The degree of civilisation in a society can be judged by entering its prisons”. In this weekly podcast ,your hosts, David Jones (Forensic psychotherapist) and Dr Naomi Murphy (Consultant Clinical & Forensic Psychologist) hope that exploring less visible aspects of prisons will help listeners see that prisons are a window into society and let us see people not only at their worst but also at their best. We feature a rich range of guests sharing snap shots of life in prisons and take a look at hospitals, schools, sport and the police in order to learn from other institutions. We learn about challenges to human integrity and hear important lessons and heart-warming stories about survival and growth when facing adversity in harsh places. We hope that sharing our conversations can help you make changes to your own relationship with institutions that might challenge your emotional health and well-being.
Follow and connect with us and give us feedback. Let us know what you think works, and also what doesn’t. We want you to look forward to the podcast each week. We’ll also be extremely grateful for any reviews that you give us. A simple star or two or a thumbs up will do.
Email: [email protected] or connect with us on:
Substack: https://lockedupliving.substack.com
Twitter: https://twitter.com/LockedUpLiving
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/naomimurphypsychologist/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/david-jones-41910b12/
Insta: https://www.instagram.com/lockedupliving/
How do people survive and thrive when facing significant challenges to our emotional health over a lengthy period? How do we protect ourselves and stay compassionate, loving and trusting? Importantly, how do we find and preserve hope?
Fyodor Dostoevsky wrote that “The degree of civilisation in a society can be judged by entering its prisons”. In this weekly podcast ,your hosts, David Jones (Forensic psychotherapist) and Dr Naomi Murphy (Consultant Clinical & Forensic Psychologist) hope that exploring less visible aspects of prisons will help listeners see that prisons are a window into society and let us see people not only at their worst but also at their best. We feature a rich range of guests sharing snap shots of life in prisons and take a look at hospitals, schools, sport and the police in order to learn from other institutions. We learn about challenges to human integrity and hear important lessons and heart-warming stories about survival and growth when facing adversity in harsh places. We hope that sharing our conversations can help you make changes to your own relationship with institutions that might challenge your emotional health and well-being.
Follow and connect with us and give us feedback. Let us know what you think works, and also what doesn’t. We want you to look forward to the podcast each week. We’ll also be extremely grateful for any reviews that you give us. A simple star or two or a thumbs up will do.
Email: [email protected] or connect with us on:
Substack: https://lockedupliving.substack.com
Twitter: https://twitter.com/LockedUpLiving
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/naomimurphypsychologist/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/david-jones-41910b12/
Insta: https://www.instagram.com/lockedupliving/
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