The Matriarch Mindset Podcast

Before we begin today’s episode, I want to say this: if you clicked on an episode about gratitude but you aren’t feeling grateful… you are still welcome here. This space is for you, exactly as you are.

Welcome back to The Journaling Room Podcast. I’m Kendall Snyder, your host, your fellow journaler, and someone who has lived through seasons where gratitude did not come naturally — not even a little bit.

Today’s episode is for the woman who feels numb. For the woman who feels a little bitter. For the woman who feels weighed down. Maybe even guilty for not being “more grateful.”

Maybe life is technically “good,” but your heart hasn’t caught up with that truth. The holidays are approaching, and you want to feel excited — but you don’t. Something in you just feels… flat.

If that’s you, hear this clearly: there is nothing wrong with you. You are not “less spiritual.” You are not failing at gratitude. You are not broken.

You are human. And God is tender with humans.

So today, we’re talking about how to find gratitude when it doesn’t come naturally — and how journaling can create a safe place to be honest, to breathe, and slowly take steps toward softening again.

1. What makes gratitude feel hard for me in this season?
2. What small, ordinary thing can I notice and write about today?

3. If I let one piece of gratitude soften me, how might that change my day?

You can reach Kendall here: [email protected]

FB/IG: @KendallSnyderCoaching

Podcast Art: @ShieldsMediaStrategies

Music by Aleksey Chistilin from Pixabay

Today we’re talking about something that shows up quietly every November — the pressure at the Thanksgiving table.

Whether you’re a mom juggling everyone’s food preferences and emotions… a college student heading home trying to navigate family dynamics… or an empty nester wondering what to do when the table feels a little too quiet — this episode is for you.

Because no matter your stage of life, there’s one thing we all tend to bring to the table that isn’t on the menu — pressure.

Pressure to make it perfect. Pressure to keep everyone happy. Pressure to be grateful even when things feel complicated.

And today, we’re going to journal through that.

So as you head into Thanksgiving, journal through these three prompts:

1. What unspoken rules or expectations am I trying to live up to this Thanksgiving?
2. If I could release one pressure, what would it be?

3. What three emotions or experiences do I want to “serve at the table” this year?

You can reach Kendall here: [email protected]

FB/IG: @KendallSnyderCoaching

Podcast Art: @ShieldsMediaStrategies

Music by Aleksey Chistilin from Pixabay

We’re surrounded by cultural images of the “perfect” holiday table — smiling families, gratitude flowing, laughter in every corner. And sometimes it does look like that. But often, it doesn’t.

Maybe there’s an empty chair. Maybe there’s a rift that hasn’t healed. Maybe you’re walking into tension that’s been simmering for years. Or maybe you just don’t feel joy this season because grief, exhaustion, or disappointment are louder than gratitude.

Here’s the truth: we can’t always fix it. We can’t bring people back, force others to change, or erase years of brokenness in a single meal. But we can write our way toward peace — peace with what is, even when what is feels far from perfect.

Step One: Name What Is Radical honesty is the first step toward acceptance. Instead of minimizing, notice and write what’s actually true.

👉 Prompts:

• “What feels unfixable right now is…”
• “The grief I’m carrying into this holiday is…”
• “The tension I feel around my family is…”
• “If I stopped minimizing, I’d admit…”

Naming reality doesn’t make you weaker. It makes you more resilient, because you stop fighting shadows and deal with what’s real.

Step Two: Release the Illusion of Control In CBT, we call this differentiating controllables from uncontrollables. Much of our suffering comes from overestimating what’s in our control and underestimating our ability to choose our response.

👉 Prompts:

• “What I wish I could change about this situation is…”
• “The expectation I keep holding onto is…”
• “What I’ve tried to fix but can’t is…”
• “The part I need to release is…”

Carmichael again reminds us:

“He said, ‘I will accept the death of dear desire, Imprisoned higher, No longer mine to claim. I lay it down. And in its silent place, There burns a steadier flame, A light of peace.’”

Step Three: Choose Peace in the Middle of It Acceptance is not resignation. It’s active. It’s saying, “I don’t control everything, but I do control how I think, how I show up, and what I anchor in.”

👉 Prompts:

• “Even though this is hard, the way I want to show up is…”
• “The anchor truth I choose to hold is…”
• “My intention for this holiday is…”

Music by Aleksey Chistilin from Pixabay

It’s that quiet bitterness that builds up when we feel unappreciated, overlooked, or wronged. Sometimes it shows up in marriage, sometimes in parenting, sometimes in friendships or even in the workplace.

Here’s the hard truth: resentment always promises to punish the other person, but really, it punishes us. The other person may not even know we’re resentful—but we carry the tight shoulders, the ruminating thoughts, the loss of joy.

Today we’re going to walk through a journaling practice to help you move from resentment to release. I’ll show you how to:

1. Name the resentment honestly.
2. Explore what you wish the other person would do.
3. Take ownership of what’s yours—and release what isn’t.

And through it all, we’ll anchor back into the truth of who you are in Christ, because only His love is big enough to free us from bitterness.

Step One: Name the Resentment

Start by writing it exactly as it is—raw, unfiltered, un-pretty.

👉 Prompts:

• “I feel resentful because…”
• “The story I’m telling myself about this person is…”
• “The thoughts that play on repeat are…”

Example: “I feel resentful because I do so much around the house and no one notices. The story I’m telling myself is that my efforts don’t matter.”

Step Two: Explore What You Wish They Would Do

Resentment is often a signal of an unmet desire. We don’t just resent someone in a vacuum—we resent because we long for something we’re not getting.

👉 Prompts:

• “What I wish they would do is…”
• “What I long to hear or receive from them is…”
• “If they could meet me in this, it would look like…”

Example: “I wish my spouse would say thank you. I wish my kids would notice my work. I long for appreciation and partnership.”

Naming this doesn’t mean the other person will suddenly change. But it gives you clarity about your own heart.

Step Three: Take Ownership + Release

This is where we shift. Ask: What is mine here, and what is not mine?

• Mine: My feelings, my expectations, my choices about how I show up.
• Not mine: Controlling the other person’s response, making them behave how I want.

👉 Prompts:

• “The part of this I can take ownership for is…”
• “The part I need to release is…”
• “Lord, today I release ___ into Your hands.”

Example: “I can take ownership of my desire for appreciation by communicating it clearly instead of stewing. I can also anchor myself in God’s delight in me. I release the expectation that my family will always meet my needs perfectly.”

Scripture anchor: Colossians 3:13 (NIV): “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

Music by Aleksey Chistilin from Pixabay

On the outside, we say it with a smile, keep moving, keep working, keep parenting. But inside? We’re tired. We’re hurting. We’re angry. Or maybe we’re just numb. “I’m fine” has become the mask we wear when the truth feels too vulnerable—or when we’ve disconnected so much we don’t even know what the truth is anymore.

Today we’re going to talk about how journaling can help you move from I’m fine to I’m real. We’ll unpack why we disconnect, how to recognize it, and a step-by-step journaling process to help you peel back the mask, reconnect with what’s actually going on, and return to your identity in Christ.

Step One: Name the Mask

Start by writing the exact mask you’re putting on. 👉 Prompts:

• “The mask I’m wearing right now is…”
• “What I say out loud is…”
• “What I show others is…”

Example: “The mask is: I’m fine, I’ve got it all together, I can handle this.”

Step Two: Uncover the Hidden Emotion

Then gently ask: If I weren’t fine, what would I admit?

👉 Prompts:

• “If I were being honest, I’d say I feel…”
• “The part of me I don’t want others to see is…”
• “What I’m afraid will happen if I admit this is…”
• “What I’m avoiding by saying ‘I’m fine’ is…”

Example: “If I were honest, I’d say I feel lonely and tired. I’m afraid if I admit it, people will think I’m weak.”

Step Three: Reconnect with Truth in Christ

Finally, anchor yourself back into identity. Ask: What does God say is true about me here?

👉 Prompts:

• “Even in this feeling, God reminds me…”
• “The truth of who I am in Christ is…”
• “Instead of agreeing with the lie, I choose to anchor in…”

Example: *“Even in my tiredness, God reminds me He delights in me. Colossians 3:12 (NIV): ‘Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.’”

Music by Aleksey Chistilin from Pixabay

The “What’s Really Going On?” Exercise.

Here’s why this matters: often the thing we think is the problem—the messy house, the distracted spouse, the missed deadline—isn’t the actual problem. What’s really going on is that we’ve attached meaning to the circumstance that doesn’t align with truth.

This exercise slows us down, helps us peel back the layers, and reveals the deeper thought fueling the feeling. When you see that root clearly, you can challenge it, reframe it, and anchor back into your true identity.

Step One: Write the Surface Situation Put on paper what you think is the problem. Don’t edit—just write it down. 👉 Prompt: “What I think is going on is…”

Step Two: Ask, “What’s Really Going On?” Now peel it back. Often the surface frustration points to a deeper fear or belief. Ask again and again until you reach the root. 👉 Prompts:

• “What’s underneath this feeling is…”
• “What I’m afraid this means about me is…”
• “The pattern I notice is…”

This is where you often uncover cognitive distortions—like catastrophizing, mind-reading, or personalization. Example: “They didn’t answer my text. That must mean they’re upset with me.” When you write it down, you can see: “Oh, I’m mind-reading. I don’t know that’s true.”

Step Three: Reframe and Realign Once you’ve spotted the false story, you can challenge it and choose a more helpful belief. 👉 Prompts:

• “A more balanced way to see this is…”
• “The truth about me is…”
• “The thought I want to practice instead is…”

Music by Aleksey Chistilin from Pixabay

So often, without realizing it, we pick up emotions that don’t belong to us. We absorb our child’s frustration, our spouse’s stress, or our parent’s disappointment—and before long, we’re weighed down by storms that aren’t actually ours to carry.

This practice is about emotional separation. It’s not about detachment or coldness. It’s about clarity. It’s learning to sort what’s truly mine, what belongs to someone else, and how to release what isn’t mine to hold.

We’ll walk through this with three relational lenses: parenting younger kids, marriage, and navigating relationships with adult children or our own parents. Because let’s be honest—that’s where emotional lines blur the most.

Let’s practice this together right now.

1. Think of a current situation that’s weighing on you.
2. Write down every emotion you’re feeling in it.
3. For each one, ask: Mine or theirs?
   • Example: “Fear (mine). Anger (theirs). Guilt (mine, but misplaced).”
4. Circle what’s truly yours to work on. Release the rest.

Release doesn’t mean you stop caring. It means you stop over-owning. You can still pray, support, or listen. But you no longer confuse their emotional responsibility with your own.

• “Even if the storm continues, I can hold onto…”

Music by Aleksey Chistilin from Pixabay

Life storms show up in all kinds of ways. Sometimes they’re sudden—like a diagnosis, a financial loss, or conflict in a relationship. Other times they drag on—ongoing stress, caregiving, waiting for answers that never seem to come.

And here’s the truth: storms aren’t just circumstances. They are made up of our thoughts, feelings, and the stories we attach to what’s happening. My certification training taught me that circumstances are neutral—it’s the thoughts we think about them that create our experience. That means the same storm can sink one person but strengthen another.

This is why naming the storm and writing the anchor is so powerful. It helps us do two things:

1. Become aware of the thought-feeling storm that’s raging.

2. Choose the anchor—an intentional belief—that steadies us and aligns us with truth.

👉 Journaling prompts to Name the Storm:

• “The storm I’m in right now is…”
• “The swirl of thoughts sounds like…”
• “If I pull apart the circumstance from the thought, I see…”
• “Naming this storm shows me my false self is saying…”

👉 Journaling prompts to Write the Anchor:

• “The anchor thought I choose is…”
• “When I believe this, I feel…”
• “This anchor helps me show up as my true self by…”
• “Even if the storm continues, I can hold onto…”

Music by Aleksey Chistilin from Pixabay

That’s right—you don’t need a pen and paper for this practice. This is a reset you can do with your heart and your mind, anytime, anywhere. If you do have your journal, wonderful—use it. But if you don’t, this reset still works. You can take five minutes and experience calm, clarity, and God’s peace.

The 5 Minute Reset Practice

Here’s how it works. Three simple steps: Breathe, Write, Pray.

Step One: Breathe (1–2 minutes)

The very first thing is to pause and take three slow breaths. This isn’t fluff—it’s science. Deep breathing signals your nervous system that you’re safe.

As you breathe, imagine inhaling God’s presence and exhaling your tension. You might even say silently, “Breathing in peace. Breathing out worry.”

👉 Cue if you’re journaling: Write one word for what you want to breathe in and one word for what you want to breathe out. 👉 Cue if you don’t have paper: Just choose those two words in your mind and repeat them with each breath.

Scripture anchor: “The Spirit of God has made me; the breath of the Almighty gives me life.” (Job 33:4, NIV)

Step Two: Write

Here’s the part I call Write. And yes, when you have your journal, writing on paper is powerful—it slows your thoughts and makes them concrete.

But here’s the hope: you don’t have to have your journal for this to work. You can do this step in your mind. Silently answer a prompt, or mentally repeat a phrase to yourself.

👉 Reset Prompts (on paper or in your thoughts):

• “Right now, I notice…”
• “One word for how I feel is…”
• “What I need in this moment is…”
• “The swirl in my mind is saying…”

Think it, whisper it, or write it down—either way, you are pressing pause and making space for clarity.

Scripture anchor: “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7, NIV)

Step Three: Pray

Finally, turn what you’ve written—or thought—into a prayer. It can be as simple as one or two sentences.

Examples:

• “Lord, my heart feels overwhelmed. Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.” (Psalm 61:2, NIV)
• “God, I need courage right now. Remind me You are with me wherever I go.” (Joshua 1:9, NIV)
• “Father, thank You that You see me. Quiet my thoughts and fill me with Your peace.”

This is where your reset shifts from self-help to God-help.

Scripture anchor: “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.” (Isaiah 26:3, NIV)

Music by Aleksey Chistilin from Pixabay

I’m your host, Kendall Snyder, and today we’re diving into something I know we’ve all experienced: spiraling thoughts.

You know those moments when your mind won’t stop racing? One small worry turns into a dozen what-ifs. Or you replay a conversation over and over until you’ve convinced yourself you messed it up. Sometimes spiraling looks like anxiety. Other times, it’s shame. Sometimes it’s just a flood of “too much” all at once.

The truth is—spiraling can leave us stuck, exhausted, and disconnected from the peace God offers us.

But journaling gives us a way out. It’s like holding a flashlight in the middle of the storm, helping us see clearly again.

By journaling through Dump, Sort, Redirect, you are:

• Clearing the swirl from your head.
• Naming the emotions with honesty.
• Anchoring yourself in God’s unchanging truth.

👉 Prompts for Step One:

• “The thoughts swirling in my head right now are…”
• “If I follow my fears all the way down, they say…”
• “What I keep replaying is…”

👉 Prompts for Step Two:

• “The emotions underneath these thoughts are…”
• “If I put one word to how I feel, it would be…”
• “I notice this spiral is fueled by…”

👉 Prompts for Step Three:

• “What I know to be true is…”
• “God’s Word reminds me that…”
• “Even if my thoughts spiral, God’s character is…”

Music by Aleksey Chistilin from Pixabay