You’ve done the work—you’ve read the books, gone to therapy, embraced your own growth, and finally stepped out of that old Nice Guy pattern. You’re more confident, more assertive, and you’ve started living with purpose and integrity. But here’s the thing: even though you’ve changed, she hasn’t. The relationship still feels like it’s stuck in the same cycle, the same dead end. 

For Nice Guys, this is the hardest part

There is one major red flag many of us ignore at the initial stages because it's the norm. Everyone does it, but those who do it all the time and do it with intensity are dangerous and you MUST in all circusmtances not take them. Never! Because if you do, they will eventually make your life a living hell and even ruin your professional world.

If you've been around the Manosphere, there's no doubt you've heard of the term pickup artist. These are gurus who will tell you how to pick up women like you're picking up samples at Costco. But there's a few problems with this. And today I want to talk about the pickup artist industry and why nice guys tend to follow their advice and maybe a little bit of like, what's wrong with this?

Never ever, ever start a sentence with this word. It’s all too commonly used by nice guys and it makes you look weak, you lose respect and it’s very uncharismatic.

We are given so many conflicting ideas about how to do sex or have sex. You’ve got to be dominant and lead. You’ve got to make sure you talk about and get consent for everything you do. You gotta make sure you please your partner.  You gotta focus on pleasing yourself. You’ve gotta schedule sex.  You’ve gotta be spontaneous. You should tap into your fantasies. You shouldn’t be so lost in fantasy. You should be focused solely on your partner and not think about other people. You should have sex a lot if you’re healthy. You shouldn’t be so focused on having sex all the time. You should only have sex in the context of a loving monogamous relationship. You should be free to have more than one partner. It goes on and on. How can we ever feel like we’re doing sex right?

In this episode of the Nice Guys Show, host Ari Graff opens up about his personal struggles as a life coach.  He emphasizes the importance of vulnerability and seeking support, highlighting that even coaches face difficulties and uncertainties. The conversation delves into the emotional toll of change, the burden of expectations, and the need for connection and understanding among men.

In this episode of the Nice Guys Show, host Faisal Khokhar opens up about his personal struggles as a life coach, particularly focusing on the challenges of parenting and navigating a business transition. He emphasizes the importance of vulnerability and seeking support, highlighting that even coaches face difficulties and uncertainties. The conversation delves into the emotional toll of change, the burden of expectations, and the need for connection and understanding among men.

In this episode of the Nice Guys Show, host Chuck Chapman opens up about his personal struggles as a life coach, particularly focusing on the challenges of parenting and navigating a business transition. He emphasizes the importance of vulnerability and seeking support, highlighting that even coaches face difficulties and uncertainties. The conversation delves into the emotional toll of change, the burden of expectations, and the need for connection and understanding among men.

Nice Guys aren’t being nice—they're being manipulative, using approval-seeking and people-pleasing as a way to control how women see them, all because they’re too afraid to be rejected for who they really are.

When it comes to women and men, I’ve come to the realization that it’s insecurity that drives us to seek approval from women. It’s subtle, often invisible, but it’s there—this craving for validation, for someone to tell us we’re enough. But here’s the thing: no matter how much approval we chase, it’s never going to fill the gap. It’s a hollow pursuit. 

Real maturity, real grounding, happens when we let go of that need, when we realize that our worth isn’t something that can be handed to us by someone else. It’s already inside, waiting to be claimed. 

The moment a man stops seeking validation from women, he becomes a mature integrated man.

Got a guy with a situation involving his mother and wife.

He’s newly married, and they all live together—him, his wife, and his mother.

It all started well. Everyone got along, and they were one happy family.

But after a few months, fractures start to appear.

The mother starts interfering, picking faults with his wife, and that’s when the tension starts building.

Now, this guy’s caught in the middle.

He’s trying to please his mum and his wife, but no matter what he does, things just keep getting worse.

Now they can’t stand each other anymore and they’ve both turned on him to man up.

Both of them are using guilt and shame to manipulate him.

His mum says, ‘Your wife’s taking you for a ride,’ while his wife says, ‘You never stand up to your mum.’ So no matter what, he can’t win.