the own it podcast

Do you ever feel like you keep ending up in the same patterns — same stress responses, same relational dynamics, same emotional spirals — no matter how hard you try to change? In this episode, we're going deep on what cycles actually are, why willpower alone doesn't break them, and what real, lasting change requires. This is the episode that changes how you see your own healing journey.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why cycles aren't a sign of weakness — and what they're actually telling you

• The difference between behavior change and identity-level transformation

• What has to shift internally before lasting change becomes possible

• How your nervous system and belief systems keep patterns in place

• Practical steps to begin breaking cycles for good

Ready to go deeper? THRIVE Collective is a monthly membership for women who are done surviving and ready to truly thrive. Weekly live sessions, a supportive community, and tools that create real change. Use code THRIVETODAY for your first month free at comealivelifecoaching.com/thrive

HOW TO CONNECT:

Instagram: @chantelleenelson

Website: comealivelifecoaching.com

You might be working hard, doing all the right things — and still feeling stuck. The reason might surprise you: it's not your effort, it's your beliefs. In this episode, we're unpacking how your belief systems were formed, why they run the show more than you realize, and how shifting them is the key to real, lasting change.

In this episode, we cover:

• Where your core beliefs come from (and why they feel so true)

• How limiting beliefs quietly shape your decisions, relationships, and identity

• The difference between surface-level mindset work and deep belief transformation

• Why willpower alone won't override a deep belief

• Practical steps to identify and begin shifting the beliefs holding you back

Ready to go deeper? THRIVE Collective is a monthly membership where we do exactly this kind of work — with community, live coaching, and tools that actually work. Use code THRIVETODAY for your first month free at comealivelifecoaching.com/thrive

Your nervous system isn't just a biology topic — it's the foundation of everything: how you feel, how you heal, and how you thrive. In this episode, we're diving into what your nervous system actually does, why it holds the key to lasting transformation, and what it means to live life abundantly from the inside out.

In this episode, we cover:

• What your nervous system is and why it matters for your emotional health

• The difference between a regulated and dysregulated nervous system

• How trauma and stress get stored in the body — and what to do about it

• Why healing has to include your body, not just your mind

• Practical first steps to start regulating your nervous system today

HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME:

Jesus said it five times in eight verses: abide in me. Remain. Stay connected.

And yet — for most of us, staying connected is the first thing that goes when life gets hard.

We stop praying the way we used to. We stop sitting with the Word. We stop creating space to actually hear. And we tell ourselves we'll get back to it when things slow down.

But things don't slow down. And before we know it, we're functioning on empty — doing it all from our own reserves. And our own reserves were never designed to be enough.

So why is abiding so hard?

In this episode, I'm breaking down the three biggest obstacles that keep us disconnected — and why they're often things we don't even realize are getting in the way.

I'm also sharing what abiding actually looks like in practice. Because most of us were never taught. We were told to do it, but not how.

Spoiler: it's probably less complicated than you think.

And if you've drifted? If it's been a while? There's something in this episode for you too.

Resources:

Have you ever felt like you're stuck in a loop? You do the work, you make the changes, you put in the effort — and somehow you find yourself right back where you started.

Same patterns. Same stuck points. That familiar feeling of being trapped in a cycle you thought you'd broken.

If that's familiar, this episode is for you.

The Truth About Why This Happens:

It's probably not what you think. It's not because you're not trying hard enough, or because something is fundamentally wrong with you.

It's because you've been using the wrong tools.

Most of us try to change at the level of the mind. We think our way to change. We discipline ourselves. We get more information, read more books, commit harder.

But here's what nobody told you: the patterns you're trying to break don't actually live in your mind. They live somewhere deeper. They live in your nervous system, in your body, in neural pathways that were laid down a long time ago.

And you cannot think your way out of a problem that lives in your body.

What Actually Creates Real Change:

In this episode, I'm breaking down what actually works — and it's different than what most people are doing.

I'm also sharing the spiritual piece of this, because it's where everything comes together.

Resources:

​​In this episode, we explore how your childhood quietly trained the way you show up in life today — not to blame your past, but to understand yourself with compassion. Long before you had language, your nervous system learned how to survive, adapting to your environment rather than to truth. Behaviors that once protected you — staying quiet, performing, self-soothing — may now be the very patterns keeping you stuck in adulthood.

We unpack survival responses that often look like personality traits (fight, flight, freeze, and fawn) and connect them to attachment patterns — anxious, avoidant, disorganized, and secure — shaping how you handle conflict, intimacy, and even your relationship with God. This conversation invites gentle reflection: what did you need as a child, what did you learn you had to do to feel safe or loved, and where do you still see those strategies playing out today?

HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME:

Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching.

In this episode, I connect Jesus’ Parable of the Sower with modern attachment theory to show how the condition of our heart affects our capacity for spiritual growth. I compare the four soils — the path, rocky ground, thorns, and good soil — with the four attachment styles — avoidant, anxious, disorganized, and secure — revealing that fruitfulness isn’t just about hearing truth, but about how safely we’re able to receive it. The same seed produces different outcomes because our relational patterns shape whether truth penetrates, withers, gets choked, or takes root.

Through the biblical contrast of Saul and David, we see how attachment to God transforms the soil of the heart. Fear, self-protection, and insecurity harden the soil, while trust, repentance, and turning toward God cultivate receptivity and lasting fruit. This episode invites you to identify the soil you’re living from, understand how it was formed, and begin tending your heart — because we don’t control the seed, sun, or rain, but we do participate in the preparation of the soil where life grows.

HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME:

Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching.

Self-awareness is the doorway to healing—but it often feels risky. In this episode, I share how my own healing journey began with a deep fear of self-deception and the belief that I couldn’t trust myself after past decisions led to pain. Scripture reminds us that the heart can be deceptive because we cling to what feels familiar, protective, or spiritually justified. Deception often sounds reasonable—even mature—and it thrives in speed, avoidance, and self-protection. Healing, however, requires truth, slowness, accountability, and a willingness to feel.

We explore how God consistently invites awareness before action, framing it as an act of trust rather than self-criticism. Transformation starts with noticing what’s happening within us. Awareness is not shame—it’s clarity. What we name loses its power, and what we bring into the light creates space for choice and freedom. This episode ends with a gentle invitation to reflect and pray, remembering that God already sees us—self-awareness simply allows us to meet Him there.

HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME:

Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching.

Pruning seasons are one of those things we don’t usually volunteer for—but somehow find ourselves in anyway. This episode came straight from a DM asking how to handle the grief, pressure, and uncertainty that come when God starts trimming things back. We talk about what a pruning season actually is (spoiler: it’s not punishment), why it often shows up after growth, and how God tends what’s alive so it can stay healthy and fruitful.

We also get really honest about what tends to get pruned—relationships, roles, habits, hustle, and even good things that no longer fit the season you’re in. We talk about how to tell the difference between fruitfulness and faithfulness, how to listen to your body and your limits, and how to navigate the grief of releasing people you hoped would come with you into the next season. If you’ve felt that quiet nudge to simplify, or wondered why what used to feel easy now feels heavy, this conversation is for you. You’re not behind—and you’re not losing everything. You might just be making room for what’s next.

else’s way of doing things, we actually make space to discern what God is asking of us.

HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME:

Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching.

I recently took a break from Instagram, and the clarity I felt was honestly shocking. It’s so easy to get caught in a cycle of constant consumption and convince ourselves we’re being productive—or even faithful—because we’re listening to podcasts, taking in content, and absorbing other people’s revelations. And while it’s good to be fed, the truth is that the only meal that truly satisfies is the Word of God. When consumption becomes our default posture, we can mistake information for transformation.

Romans 12:2 has been deeply sharpening me in this season: “Do not be conformed to the patterns of this world.” The word conformed comes from the Greek schema—an outward mold—and world refers to the present age system we live in. This present age includes social media, metrics, influencers, and cultural definitions of success—even in how we grow, scale, and show up. This episode is an invitation—for you and for me—to lean into faithfulness over consumption this year, to quiet the noise, and to trust that when we stop conforming to everyone else’s way of doing things, we actually make space to discern what God is asking of us.

HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME:

Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching.