The Parent Hope Podcast

In this Episode of the Parent Hope Podcast Jenny Brown  explores Grandparenting with Selden Dunbar Illick. 

They discuss what makes for flourishing “grandparenting relationships”, with adult children, in-laws, grandchildren and the grandparenting partner if relevant). 

With a Family Systems Lens in view they discuss the common pitfalls in these relationships, for example triangles. They will also discuss the value of working on self. 

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In this episode Jenny talks with Dr Linda Mackay on parenting with a backdrop of trauma and adversity and how this affects building confidence in parenting.

Linda MacKay is an accredited psychotherapist & counsellor, who practices in Mudgee, Blaxland and offers online sessions. She is also a lecturer, trainer, and supervisor, with degrees and qualifications in counselling, couple and family therapy and her PhD in critical psychology (UWS). 

Linda lectures at undergraduate and postgraduate level at the University of Notre Dame, counsels private individuals, and coaches business executives who wish to optimize their performance as leaders. She is also a clinical member of PACFA & Accredited Supervisor for AAFT. 

She has extensive experience working with individuals, couples and families, and has specialised in working with people who have suffered grief and loss, and complex trauma issues including child sexual abuse, domestic violence, dissociation and self-harm. 

She incorporates the Parent Hope Project in her work.  

*We apologise for any audio that may be difficult to hear.  

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This podcast explores a common tension between parents about how each responds to a struggling child. One parent reacts with more nurturing and the other with more firmness. Each feels critical about the other’s management of one of their children.  

Amber McPherson, Programs Coordinator at the Parent Hope Project interviews Dr Jenny Brown about parent-style tensions. Jenny has a recently published article on this topic: Making Sense of the Parenting 'Soft/Hard Split'  

Jenny also interviews a mother and father about their experiences of these tensions and how they have changed the way they respond to each other.  

Jenny’s article with a video  

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/anzf.1533 

To explore our online affordable parenting courses, coaching and resources. https://parenthopeproject.com.au/

Support for parents and carers online/delivered face to face through schools, churches, community groups and mental health workers.

Training available for mental health workers, and those wanting to support parents 1:1 or in groups. 

Psychoeducation: Learn to facilitate parent groups face to face or online doing our Confident parent Course.

Clinical Intervention: Become a Parent coach, intensive 4 month professional development, using our research based manualized program. 

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Website-https://parenthopeproject.com.au/

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In this episode Jenny discusses with Dr Kathleen Smith the challenges and opportunities for parents managing fears and anxieties.

What are the challenges of managing anxiety about our kids? What are the opportunities and benefits of parents working on managing their fears? 

Kathleen Smith is a licensed therapist and mental health writer who lives in Washington, DC. She has written for popular publications such as Slate, Salon, New York Magazine, Lifehacker, Bustle, and Counseling Today, among many others. She is an associate faculty member at the Bowen Center for the Study of the Family and hosts the show Family Matters, a production of the University of the District of Columbia.

Resources:

• https://www.amazon.com/Everything-Isnt-Terrible-Insecurities-Interrupt/dp/0316492531
• https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B01HYP9SJ2/about

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Website-https://parenthopeproject.com.au/

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In this episode, Jenny Brown will be in discussion with Lauren Errington sharing stories of working with parents who are worried about 1 or more of their children.

Lauren is the Executive Director of the Family Systems Institute Sydney. She also lectures at Charles Sturt University and has a clinical practice at the Family Systems Practice Network.

The stories shared will reveal what parents gain from observing their interactions – Lauren and Jenny will reflect on learning to observe themselves in their own families.

Links:

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/epdf/10.1002/anzf.1481
https://www.thefsi.com.au

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Website-https://parenthopeproject.com.au/

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In this episode, Jenny Brown interviews renowned Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist Dr Annemaree Bickerton about her work supporting parents managing their child or adolescent's strong, and often dangerous, emotions and behaviours. 

Listen to how parents can be a lighthouse for children in stormy times. They listen rather than fix and allow the child to learn to surf the challenging waves of life.

To find out about the Staying Connected Courses: https://www.islhd.health.nsw.gov.au/services-clinics/family-and-carer-mental-health-program-0/staying-connected-when-emotions-run-high

To watch the video mentioned – This is an excellent resource!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_B61YifyrM

To read about the safety first model 

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/anzf.1055

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In this podcast, Jenny Brown interviews Susy Lee, prize-winning author, speaker, and educator. They discuss Susy's prize-winning book 'Raising Kids Who Care: Practical Conversations for Exploring Stuff That Matters, Together'.

Susy writes:
'In our complex world, we need to be aware of looming pitfalls and be intentional in helping kids navigate their way to compassion and wonder, driven by values and purpose.' This path of conversations leads to amazing hope.

In this conversation, Jenny explores Susy's thoughts on how parents can influence the development of a kind and caring child without making a change project out of the child.

Susy writes that 'children primarily learn ethical behaviour by watching their parents.' Jenny asks her what she thinks is the impact of what parents care about and how they live out. 

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Parenting doesn’t end when a child leaves school. In fact, parenting can become even more complex with young adults, especially if they are struggling to manage adult responsibilities. 

In this podcast, Dr Jenny Brown talks about ways parents can be a resource to a young adult child who is navigating an increasingly complicated and demanding life transition. 

Using a case example, she highlights the value of parents staying connected but not over-invested in their adult child. Creating space for building independence and pulling back from accommodating a child’s under-functioning is critical. This can be challenging to shift for the parent as it is for the young adult child; hence, parents need to own the adjustments they choose to make and not just follow the advice and opinions of others.

Some helpful family systems links on the topic:

When Your Young Adult with “Failure to Launch” Won’t Get Help: Survival Tips for Parents Who Aren’t Done Parenting

https://www.rtor.org/2017/10/24/failure-to-launch-part-4/

Young Adults Leaving Home – you tube interviews

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8v4mkHeu--Y

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eya61VCm82g

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGYmxUblcD4

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Website-https://parenthopeproject.com.au/

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In this podcast, Jenny Brown explores the challenges of parenting Special Needs children – neurodiverse kids or children with a biological impairment of some kind. She interviews Nicole Clarke, who is both a mother of a child with Autism and a school counsellor. 

It is helpful to consider if the same principles of working on the parent rather than the child apply to special needs kids. A systems view suggests that any added stress and anxiety can be relieved by a parent by making a more intense project out of finding help and treatments for a child. Yet, at the same time, this extra focus on the child can reduce the child’s development capacities. The child becomes attuned to a parent’s increasing involvement which can trigger more dysregulation. 

It is so very hard for parents of children who appear to be neurologically different in their capacities to socialise, empathise and control behaviours, not to get swept along by the pull to add multiple treatments to the child’s life. 

Nicole speaks of the value of working to be less intense as a parent despite the extra challenges. She talks about the treatments focus on getting your child to be different as opposed to accepting who they are and reducing fear about the future. 

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Website-https://parenthopeproject.com.au/

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(02) 9904 5600

Adolescents present unique challenges for parents. For example, the reactive push for independence can be triggering for parents. In this podcast, Jenny reveals how parent efforts to correct behaviours can inadvertently reinforce a conflict cycle that can fuel a teen's physiological reward system: (sensation seeking). An overview of adolescent brain development makes sense of this reward system. 

The podcast invites parents to consider two typical cycles of interaction: Escalating fighting with a teen, with a parent staying stuck in the conflict, believing that if they "lose", they are a poor parent leader. The other is the cycle of escalating rescuing, and accommodating. Jenny presents ways parents can disengage from these unhelpful cycles. The parent's effort is to contribute to an environment that enhances the teen's development of thoughtful self-responsibility rather than trying to correct their behaviours, thereby giving them more fuel to react to. 

The perspective of family systems thinking is not about changing an individual but changing the emotional/relational environment in the family. The good news is that It takes just one parent to adjust themselves in ways that reduce the intensity in their relationships. More constructive than convincing an adolescent to change in the short term.

Links

• Sensation seeking: Steinberg L. A Social Neuroscience Perspective on Adolescent Risk-Taking. Dev Rev. 2008 Mar;28(1):78-106. doi: 10.1016/j.dr.2007.08.002. PMID: 18509515; PMCID: PMC2396566.

• Flexibility in parenting interactions: Branje, S. (2018), Development of Parent–Adolescent Relationships: Conflict Interactions as a Mechanism of Change. Child Dev Perspect, 12: 171-176. https://doi.org/10.1111/cdep.12278

• Understanding teenage brain development:

https://raisingchildren.net.au/pre-teens/development/understanding-your-pre-teen/brain-development-teens

https://www.startingblocks.gov.au/other-resources/factsheets/brain-development-in-children

Newsletter-https://parenthopeproject.com.au/#newsletter

Youtube-http://www.youtube.com/@ParentHopeProject

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Website-https://parenthopeproject.com.au/

Contact us:

[email protected]

(02) 9904 5600