The PAWsitive Choices Podcast

Have you ever sat with a child in the middle of a massive meltdown over something small and thought, “How on earth do I pull them out of this storm?” Today, we're breaking down the 3 Cs of emotional regulation to help you navigate those tough moments.

In this episode of the PAWsitive Choices Podcast, we explore the incredible power of empathy and how to truly show up for kids when their brains get mixed up. Through a personal story about my husband, Thomas, we explore why avoiding "comparative suffering" is the key to validating a child's reality.

We also dive into the science of secure attachment and learn how to become a "safe harbor" for our kids, equipping you with a simple, actionable 3-step framework: Connect, Calm, and Collaborate.

What You’ll Learn:

• Why a child's perspective is a function of their experience (and why crying over a broken crayon is totally valid!).
• How helping a child feel Safe, Seen, and Soothed leads to them feeling Secure.
• How to validate the underlying emotion before trying to correct the behavior.
• How to use the 3 Cs (Connect, Calm, and Collaborate).

Resources & Books Mentioned in this Episode:

• The Power of Showing Up by Dan Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson
• Dr. Ross Greene ("Kids do well if they can")
• Unlocking Us Podcast by Brené Brown
• PAWsitive Choices Goal Setting Video: https://youtu.be/n3R8vMmiCU4
• Find all our SEL curriculum and resources at https://www.pawsitivechoices.com/ 

Join the PAWsitive Choices Community! If you found value in today’s episode, please leave us a rating or review so we can help more parents and educators make positive connections!

(Don't forget to check out our previous episode on Q-TIP: Quitting Taking It Personally to build the perfect foundation for today's strategies!)

Are you exhausted by your child's public meltdowns, your teenager's attitude, or your partner's sudden bad moods? What if I told you that their behavior has absolutely nothing to do with you?

In this episode of the PAWsitive Choices Podcast, we're exploring the brain science and psychology behind why we get so triggered by other people's overflow. We are learning how to Q-TIP (Quit Taking It Personally) so we can stop reacting to the person and start responding to the underlying need.

🎥 Prefer to watch? Catch the full video version of this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/ZJtE1osUOvM?si=YIi5AnXkwVaod9dU

🎁 FREE RESOURCE: Need a reminder in the heat of the moment? Download your free Q-TIP Cheat Sheet to keep on your fridge or save to your phone! 👉 https://www.pawsitivechoices.com/freebies

Key Takeaways from this Episode:

• The 18-40-60 Rule: Why you need to let go of the "imaginary audience" and stop worrying about what people think of you
• The Fundamental Attribution Error: Why we judge others' bad behavior as a character flaw, while excusing our own
• Q-TIP: How to recognize when a child or adult is operating outside their Window of Tolerance and why you cannot control their dysregulation
• The Generous Assumption & "Let Them": How to hold emotional boundaries without absorbing someone else's bad mood
• Bids for Connection: How a simple request for pizza (shoutout to Pizza Mondo in Bend!) was a profound relationship test
• Enduring Vulnerabilities & The Golden Question: Why trauma pioneer Pete Walker's concept of asking "WHEN are you?" will change how you view your partner's triggers

Resources & Mentions in this Episode:

• Dr. Daniel Amen (The 18-40-60 Rule)
• Mr. Chazz (Parenting Educator)
• Brené Brown (The Most Generous Assumption)
• Mel Robbins (The "Let Them" Theory)
• Dr. John Gottman (Bids for Connection & Enduring Vulnerabilities)
• Find all our SEL curriculum and resources at https://www.pawsitivechoices.com

Next Time on the Podcast: Now that you know how to stop taking it personally... what do you actually do in the middle of a meltdown? Tune in next time as we dive into the 3 C's: Connect, Calm, and Collaborate!

Are you beating yourself up for dropping your New Year's resolutions? Are you losing your patience over tiny things and feeling guilty about it? It’s not because you're failing—it’s because your brain is at capacity.

In this episode, we are talking about self-compassion, cognitive capacity, and how to give yourself (and your kids) grace when the demands of your environment exceed what you feel like you can handle. I’m introducing the "Brain Capacity Jar" and sharing how you can apply these practical SEL tools to your own life and classroom.

📺 WATCH THE VIDEO: Want to see the "Brain Capacity Jar" and the pom-pom demonstration in action? Watch the full video version of this episode on YouTube here: https://youtu.be/f4c5skw1ktk?si=8RzCkGExiQBhKl7e 

🎁 FREE RESOURCE: Download your printable Pawsitive Choices "Brain Check-In" Guide here: https://www.pawsitivechoices.com/freebies 

In this episode, we cover:

• The mid-February slump & Dr. Kristin Neff’s 3 components of Self-Compassion
• Dr. Ross Greene’s capacity equation: Why we (and our kids!) do well if we can
• The Glitter Brain (State) vs. The Pom-Pom Jar (Capacity)
• Real-life scripts to use out loud when your brain feels "mixed up"
• How to ask for help and offload your pom-poms

Mentioned in this episode:

• Thank you to 4th-grade teacher Ryan Brazil for the jar inspiration 
• Dr. Kristin Neff’s Self-Compassion Research
• Dr. Ross Greene’s Collaborative & Proactive Solutions
• Find all our SEL curriculum and resources at https://www.pawsitivechoices.com/ 

Resilience is not just a buzzword; it is a life-changing practice rooted in the power of human connection. In 2015, the documentary Paper Tigers changed the conversation about education and childhood trauma forever, and today, those lessons are more vital than ever.

📺 Watch the full video version on YouTube! 

In this special episode of the PAWsitive Choices Podcast, I am joined by Jim Sporleder—the visionary principal featured in the film—for a deep dive into the heart of resilience and leadership.

Jim shares the moving story of how he led a revolution in school culture at Lincoln High School. After realizing the fundamental truth that "stressed brains can't learn," Jim and his team implemented brain-based behavioral practices that led to a 75% decrease in fights and a five-fold increase in graduation rates. This interview captures Jim's unwavering belief that every child is just one caring adult away from a different future.

In this episode, we explore:

• The Power of One: Jim’s core philosophy that a single, stable, and caring relationship is one of the most powerful tools we have to build resilience in the face of adversity.
• Beyond Theory: Practical insights on moving beyond theory to create a school culture that prioritizes safety and student relationships.
• Effective Discipline in Action: How to handle discipline in a way that maintains a student's sense of belonging and dignity while fostering learning and accountability.
• Student Achievement through Connection: Why focusing on a child's emotional well-being is one of the most effective ways to unlock their academic potential.

Key Takeaways from Jim:

• Safety First: Learning cannot happen if a student does not feel physically and emotionally safe.
• The Behavior is a Symptom: Looking past the "acting out" to see the toxic stress or physiological dysregulation that is driving the reaction.
• Never Give Up: The importance of being the "one" who refuses to walk away from a struggling student.

Resources & Links:

• Watch the Film: Paper Tigers Documentary on Amazon
• Read the Book: The Trauma-Informed School: A Step-by-Step Implementation Guide by Jim Sporleder
• Connect with Jim: Jim Sporleder Consulting Official Website

Happy Holidays, everyone! 🎄 This conversation with Dr. Eko is the perfect reminder to lead with love and focus on connection during this busy time of year.

📺 Watch the full video version on YouTube! https://youtu.be/HWxqiUnuHmk

How do we truly hear what a child is trying to tell us? In this episode of the PAWsitive Choices Podcast, I’m joined by Dr. Hokehe Eko—a board-certified pediatrician, ADHD/Autism expert, and author. We dive deep into why understanding a child's emotional "love language" is the key to strengthening your relationship and how nutrition and environment play a vital role in their brain health.

Key highlights from this episode:
→ Why children learn more from your actions than your words.
→ How life experiences significantly affect a child's behavior and development.
→ How nurturing and connection lead to profound, positive changes.
→ Why parents must address their own unresolved issues to support their children effectively.
→ How to foster a safe space that encourages open communication.
→ The vital role imagination plays in fostering creativity.
→ How nutrition directly impacts emotional well-being and brain health.
→ The Goal of Parenting: Shifting from "control" to helping children become the best version of themselves.

⭐ About Our Guest: Dr. Hokehe Eko is a Board-Certified Pediatrician specializing in Integrative Medicine and an ADHD/Autism Expert. Through her practice, Glow Pediatrics, she provides holistic care to improve behaviors and boost the gut and brain health of her patients. A TedX Speaker and fellow of the American Academy of Pediatrics, Dr. Eko has been featured on PBS, NPR, and Business Insider. She is also the founder of Kits of Hope, Inc., a 501c(3) organization sharing love and dignity with children in foster care.

📚 Featured Books & Resources:
→ Children's Love Letters: https://www.glowpediatrics.com/the-book 
→ How to Love Your Brain and Make ADHD Your Superpower 🧠  https://youtu.be/HcV-bcOEwKQ
→  Fox Tries New Foods: https://a.co/d/iIcLtKc (Our PAWsitive Choices book to encourage healthy eating habits)

Connect with Dr. Eko: https://www.glowpediatrics.com

🧠 Our Journey: The Brain It On! Podcast- While PAWsitive Choices was on a hiatus, my husband Thomas and I launched a new project during his journey through Leukemia and a bone marrow transplant. Join us at The Brain It On! Podcast, where we talk about resilience and "loving your brain" through the hardest challenges: 👉 https://www.youtube.com/@TheBrainitOnPodcast

#SEL #BrainHealth #ParentingTips #ADHD #Autism #DrHokeheEko #PawsitiveChoices #BrainItOn #FosterCare #IntegrativeMedicine #FoxTriesNewFoods

In this deeply personal and long-awaited episode, we offer an update on our lives since our last regular PAWsitive Choices content. 

We share our journey navigating two profound family challenges that began almost simultaneously last year: my mother-in-law, Julie, was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer, and just three months later, my husband and co-host, Thomas, was diagnosed with leukemia. Julie embraced her role as our "Cancer Club President," walking alongside us in solidarity until her passing in September.

We realized that the resilience, growth mindset, and brain-based strategies we taught through PAWsitive Choices became our absolute lifeline. This immediate need for coping tools led us to launch our new show, The Brain It On! Podcast, where we continue to share these strategies through cancer treatment and beyond. 

To give you the full story, we are sharing the first episode of The Brain it On! Podcast, recorded live from Thomas's hospital room. At the time of this original recording, Thomas' mother was still with us. Julie has since passed away from pancreatic cancer. This episode captures the beginning of our journeys through cancer. 

📺 Watch the video version of this special episode on our PAWsitive Choices YouTube Channel.

📢 The Future of Pawsitive Choices

We want to assure you that The PAWsitive Choices Podcast is NOT ending. While The Brain It On! Podcast is updated more frequently, we are still committed to sharing PAWsitive Choices content. Thank you for your incredible patience and support. 

➡️ Please Join Our New Community!

You can find our most frequent and current episodes on our new platform. Please follow our ongoing journey and advice on building resilience together: 

• Subscribe to The Brain It On! Podcast wherever you listen to podcasts. (This is where you'll find frequent new episodes!) 
• Subscribe to The Brain It On! YouTube Channel for video updates!

Connect with us on Instagram @thebrainitonpodcast📱 and thank you for being the most supportive community we could ask for.

If this episode helped you, please leave us a review and share it with someone who is navigating a hard season. ❤️

When was the last time you felt a deep sense of joy? Perhaps you were hugging a loved one, watching your child play, or walking outside on a beautiful day. While joy can give birth to beauty, meaning, and happiness, joy can also remind us of the uncertainty and fragility of our lives. In this episode we explore how leaning into gratitude helps us embrace both joy and uncertainty. We'll find that when we choose gratitude, we are less likely to take things for granted and more likely to appreciate life's wonderful moments. And when a beautiful season comes to an end, we can cry because it's over and smile because it happened. 

You can learn more gratitude research by reading this Harvard Health Article and listening to our past podcast episode about gratitude practices. Watch Susan Cain's TED Talk about the hidden power of sad songs and rainy days.

You can find PAWsitive Choices books at https://www.pawsitivechoices.com/books. Follow PAWsitive Choices on Instagram and Facebook and join our mailing list to stay up to date on our new books, freebies, and upcoming events. 

Store: https://www.pawsitivechoices.com/store
Check out our other resources and freebies: https://www.pawsitivechoices.com/links 
© 2014-2022 PAWsitive Choices, LLC 

Asking for what we need is essential to cultivating healthy relationships. The problem is, we don't always know how to identify our needs and ask for them in ways that are effective.  In this episode, we'll explore how you can be clear about your expectations and desires while also being kind and responsive to those around you.

You can find PAWsitive Choices books at https://www.pawsitivechoices.com/books. Follow PAWsitive Choices on Instagram and Facebook and join our mailing list to stay up to date on our new books, freebies, and upcoming events. 

Store: https://www.pawsitivechoices.com/store
Check out our other resources and freebies: https://www.pawsitivechoices.com/links 
© 2014-2022 PAWsitive Choices, LLC 

Have you ever found yourself imagining the worst case scenario? Have you jumped to conclusions about what someone thinks of your choices before asking them? These common thoughts, known as cognitive distortions, can contribute to the stories we make up about what's happening in our lives. In this episode we'll explore how you can identify unhelpful thoughts and shift to healthier patterns of thinking. We'll also examine the research on Theory of Mind and find ways to support children through this important developmental process.

You can learn more about unhelpful thinking patterns in this Harvard Health article and find more information on the function of emotions in Susan David's Emotional Agility website.

You can find PAWsitive Choices books at https://www.pawsitivechoices.com/books. Follow PAWsitive Choices on Instagram and Facebook and join our mailing list to stay up to date on our new books, freebies, and upcoming events. 

Store: https://www.pawsitivechoices.com/store
Check out our other resources and freebies: https://www.pawsitivechoices.com/links 
© 2014-2022 PAWsitive Choices, LLC 

In Bob Goff's book, Everybody Always,  he says, "We're all rough drafts of the people we're still becoming." This simple, yet profound idea is foundational to way we view ourselves and others. In this episode we review the work of Tina Payne Bryson, Ross Greene, Becky Kennedy, and Bob Goff to answer the question, "Are people doing the best they can?" We explore the value of having the most generous assumption of others while maintaining healthy boundaries.

You can find PAWsitive Choices books at https://www.pawsitivechoices.com/books. Follow PAWsitive Choices on Instagram and Facebook and join our mailing list to stay up to date on our new books, freebies, and upcoming events. 

Store: https://www.pawsitivechoices.com/store
Check out our other resources and freebies: https://www.pawsitivechoices.com/links 
© 2014-2022 PAWsitive Choices, LLC