It’s Johnny’s birthday week, and Tony has promised to treat him with respect. Needless to say, that doesn’t pan out. On another installment of Tony’s Tummy, Johnny makes an earth-shattering discovery about Tony’s rotten, rascally bowels. Then, Captain Picard fails a crucial test, as he adjusts to his new “admiral” status. When Will Hines stops by, the three old men reminisce about improv scenes from the past and end up singing a weirdly-good rendition of Wildflowers. Finally, Tony attempts Johnny’s Game while distracted by his own clammy genitalia. Then he gets tired. Then he has a bathroom emergency, which forces an abrupt end to the episode.

The beverage issues continue in episode 3! But now it’s Johnny’s turn to be distracting with his viscous green, date smoothie. Johnny’s in a foul mood because his wife is out of town for three months, and he’s all alone taking care of his children. Tony is as patient as he can be, and attempts to lighten the mood with two lively improv scenes: Lucy frantically trying to prevent her own murder in a pitch-perfect I Love Lucy parody and a futuristic VR firm discussing the ancient show Fringe with one of its clients. Then, Johnny’s wife Andrea Rosen enters the conversation from afar, and he’s thrown into a pathetic spiral of oversensitivity. A lot of fun stuff, but honestly it gets a little uncomfortable.

Episode 2 starts off strong with Tony objecting to Johnny’s “motherly” hosting style. Ironically, Tony won’t stop slurping Coke and burping throughout the podcast. A practice that proves far more disruptive. Then Jon Gabrus hops on the call, and Johnny, ever the anal double-checker, insists on going over his recording specs. Perhaps that’s why Gabrus and Tony proceed to reminisce about their good, old days on 30 Rock, effectively boxing Johnny out of the conversation. Then, the lads introduce a new segment that drills down on Tony’s chronic intestinal issues. Overall, the second episode maintains the winning energy of the first. B+!

The die is cast! The podcast has begun! Tony attempts to help Johnny get over his fear and reluctance about doing a podcast and then gets frustrated when it doesn’t work. Patrick Stewart drops by, and Adam Pally joins the chat to demonstrate just how distracted a podcast guest can be. Then Tony takes part in a high-stakes game! Oh, and rest assured, the whole “long-distance phone call” premise is maintained, throughout, and definitely not dropped immediately.

Coming soon to a podcast app near you! Tony and Johnny are the best of friends…but they live on separate coasts! Luckily, they’ve been able to keep their long-distance relationship fresh and vital through frequent, soul-nourishing phone conversations. The Phoney & Call-y Show presents these phone calls to you: the lonely idiot, to delight in an entertaining blend of banter, introspection, bickering, and improv bits!*

*However, this podcast is not to be life-affirming, at all. Any relatable honesty Tony & Johnny display is purely for their own, therapeutic benefit. It’s not for you to feel better about your own life. That’s not what this is.

Available everywhere you get podcasts starting October 25!