Today's episode focuses on how attachment styles play out in close relationships. I am joined by Rachel Blackston, who is a therapist in Orlando, Florida. Rachel begins today's conversation by reading an essay about love and war in her marriage. It's a beautiful and vulnerable piece that gives you a window into how insecure attachment plays out in a real-life marriage. I'm deeply grateful to Rachel for her willingness to dive head first into this very difficult and important arena. You can read more about Rachel at rachelblackston.com.

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I am joined today by Scott Gibson who is a therapist in the Chicago area. Scott graciously shares a story about himself as an 11 year old boy. It's a story about desire, about devastation, and especially about attachment. If you resonate with Scott's words today, you might want to go back and listen to Episode 14 in which Scott talks more about his own story, particularly with regard to engaging the harm of sexual abuse.

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For most of my Christian life, I didn't know it was possible to hear from God. I was taught that God stopped talking after the Bible. I simply didn't know that God talked to his children on a regular basis. And so I didn't take time to listen. Not because I didn't want to hear from God—there was nothing I wanted more. I just didn't know it was possible to hear from God. In 2015 this all changed for me. I began to learn how to hear from God. Today's episode is about the process of learning how to hear from God.

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If your parents did not have a healthy marriage—a deep emotional connection—then it is likely that either you or your sibling has experienced some measure of subtle sexual abuse. Subtle sexual abuse wreaks havoc in your heart… but because of its subtlety, you can live your whole life without knowing what's plaguing you. Today we talk about what subtle sexual abuse is and how it can affect you.

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This is really two episodes in one. In the first half we talk about sexual abuse that doesn't involve physical touch, also known as subtle sexual abuse or covert sexual abuse. In the second half, Sandy graciously reads a story from when she was in kindergarten. And as we reflect on Sandy's story, we see how a single story can affect your brain for decades. As Sandy puts it, "I don't think I was ever the same after that day."

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How do you know if you're in a relationship with a narcissist? What might that relationship feel like? In today's episode, I talk with Chuck DeGroat about the dynamics of narcissism. Chuck is a seminary professor and a therapist who has a book coming out about what happens "when narcissism comes to church."

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Many times clients have said to me, "What is the ultimate purpose of counseling anyway?" Their question is excellent because it grows out of their sense that healing alone is not enough. Deep down, we all intuitively know that we are made for more than healing and even made for more than freedom. There is an ultimate goal. There is a reason for digging into your story. It may be bigger than you think.

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I met Blaine Hogan at a Recovery Week a decade ago. Blaine is an artist, creative director, and filmmaker. Our conversation covers sexual abuse, sexual addiction, and the importance of being curious when it comes to engaging your stories. Blaine reads a story from his childhood… and then shares what happened as he realized that he had left out the most important part of the story. You can read more about Blaine at blainehogan.com.

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In today's episode, Christy Bauman and I talk candidly about the reality of wounds in this life. What does it mean to enter the wounded places in one another's hearts? And can genuine goodness really come from places of death? You can read more about Christy at www.christyvidrinebauman.com.

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Enneagram expert Beth McCord and I conclude our exploration of "How does your enneagram type influence the way you respond to trauma/abuse/harm?" Today's episode looks at Types 2 through 7. Type Two - 0:30 Type Three - 5:30 Type Four - 12:40 Type Five - 16:00 Type Six - 21:00 Type Seven - 25:50

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