The Reinvention Era

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In this episode, I talk about the challenges of navigating Christmas post-divorce and ways to get through it. 

The episode talks through the who, the when and the how of getting through Christmas after divorce and turning it into a happy one.... YOUR way. 

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In this latest episode of The Divorce Chapter Podcast, I delve into the fascinating realm of love languages. Yes, you read that right—love languages! While it might sound like a topic reserved for romantic relationships, I assure you there's so much more to it, especially when you're flying solo.

Ever wondered how to navigate the world of love languages when you're single? Well, you're not alone. I had a thought-provoking conversation with a friend about her experiences, and it got me thinking—how can we honour our primary love language even when we're not in a romantic relationship?

So the 5 love languages according to Dr Gary Chapman are (link to a quiz below) 

• Acts of Service
• Words of Affirmation
• Physical Touch
• Quality Time
• Gifts. 

Intrigued? You should be!

Physical Touch:

For those like me whose love language is physical touch, being single doesn't mean missing out on those comforting hugs. Though I'm not up for cuddles with random strangers, and listen in for my plan for worldwide wristbands (or not!)

Acts of Service:

Acts of service are a bit trickier when you're single, but fear not! Whether it's treating yourself like royalty with a luxurious breakfast in bed or ordering in your favourite meal, there are countless ways to shower yourself with acts of love. 

Words of Affirmation:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, speaking affirmations loud to stand tall! I know. it feels cringe, but I share some tips here today (as well as on accepting compliments....)

These are just snippets of the love language conversation in this latest podcast episode. 


Remember, love languages aren't exclusive to romantic relationships. Even when single, we can fulfill our love language needs. As we approach Christmas, a potentially tough time for many, let's prioritise self-love. 

Share your love language and self-love ideas – let's support each other. Sending you loads of love, and thank you for tuning in, as always!

Link to the Love Languages Quiz:

https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language

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In this week's episode, I share a bit of personal news - grandchild number five is on the way! It got me reflecting on the unique experience of grandparenting after divorce. Initially, I envisioned a different future with my ex, but life had other plans.

I dive into the emotional landscape of divorce as it affects not only the couple but also adult children. Grieving the family unit they knew can be challenging. I discuss the importance of acknowledging their feelings, setting boundaries, and not becoming an emotional crutch for either parent.

For those of you who have experienced divorce or are currently navigating this stuff, you might resonate with the emotional rollercoaster that comes with it. Adult children, despite their maturity, can still grapple with a range of feelings, from an unwanted sense of duty to a fair share of "what about me?" moments.

Another aspect I touch upon is the dynamic of adult children taking sides. I share a personal struggle and the realisation that, despite the circumstances, the relationship between children and their parents remains unique. Neutrality and understanding become paramount in these situations.


I just wanted to dive into some thoughts and conversation around this subject, but as always, I'd love to know your thoughts too. 

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In this episode, I reflect on the rocky path from saying "I do" to finally reaching the liberating stage of "I'm done." 


Working through the stages of divorce grief, even though it's not actually linear and we often find ourselves back and forth at each point. 

From shock and denial, that earthquake of realisation when the person we thought we'd spend our life with says it's over ... to bargaining and desperately seeking answers and reasons to salvage what's left. 

Then comes the avalanche of sadness and pain. Every thought of the ex triggers a new wave of overwhelming emotion. Before we go into anger.... and if you're anything like me, losing your shit on the regular. Anger at the lies, betrayal, and the shattering of dreams. 

Depression follows, where the world seems bleak, and a sense of hopelessness pervades. 

Before finally, FINALLY, we reach acceptance—the stage where we can say, "I'm done." It's not about forgetting but about acknowledging the pain, taking responsibility, and focusing on healing. It's an opportunity to transform pain into power. The ultimate goal is to embrace our resilience, commitment to self, and the boundless potential for an amazing divorce chapter. 


I hope you find the episode helpful 🌸

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With all that is going on in the world, plus Christmas looming and all the emotions it can stir, especially for those of us navigating the first one post-divorce, I thought let's chat about protecting our energy.  When I say energy, I mean our vibe, whether it's high or low. 

Think of it as an energy bank – every interaction is a transaction. You can invest in positive interactions that replenish your energy or spend too much on situations that drain you, leaving you scrambling for an overdraft. Budgeting to protect our energy is crucial.

In this episode, I look into different ways to manage and protect your energy...  From shifting your body to shift your state, about the energetic power of music and about designing your environment for a successful energy boost.

I also cover boundaries with people, with social media and the news, and touch on the grey rock technique. 

Remember, every interaction is a transaction. Are you going to be rich in energy or bankrupt? 

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In the latest episode of the "Divorce Chapter Podcast," I dive into a crucial yet often overlooked subject: post-divorce depression. It's been a challenging period for me, and I wanted to share my personal experiences, insights, and strategies for coping with this difficult journey.

The world is undoubtedly going through a lot right now, and adding the weight of a divorce on top of it can make things seem overwhelming. 

During the episode, I share my personal battles, including significant postnatal depression after the birth of my first child and my struggles following the breakdown of my marriage. There were times when I felt like I was barely holding on, and the thought of not being around seemed easier.

Antidepressants became part of my journey, and I discuss the debate around their use post-divorce. Sometimes, when you're at rock bottom, a little bit of help is needed to even start feeling and processing. 

However, the episode isn't just about the struggles. I also share some coping mechanisms and healing strategies. We discuss the significance of talking therapies, mindfulness practices, journaling, exercise, and the impact of alcohol and sleep on post-divorce depression. 

I can't emphasise enough the importance of reaching out to your support network, be it friends, family, or professionals.

I believe it's essential not to suffer alone. The aftermath of a divorce can be incredibly challenging, and when you're at your lowest, reaching out to someone, anyone, is crucial. My DMs are always open, and I'm here if anyone needs a listening ear.

If you're experiencing a tough time post-divorce or know someone who is, I encourage you to listen to the podcast episode. Remember, you're not alone, and reaching out for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Stay strong, and remember, seeking help is the first step to healing x

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In this week's episode, I shared my experiences of moving into what my granddaughter cleverly dubbed "Peach Palace." As I settled in, I encountered a cascade of reflections, notably on the pursuit of perfection that has defined many facets of my life.

The episode dives into the intricate ties between the quest for perfection and its impact post-divorce. It's an insight into how high-achieving women, like many of us, often take on an unwarranted sense of failure when marriages end. We burden ourselves with the weight of unrealistic expectations, forgetting that relationships are multifaceted equations involving multiple variables, not just ourselves.

I delved into how I've learned to reframe my thoughts and challenge these damaging perceptions. Challenge your negative thoughts, put them on trial, and see how weak their arguments are. Giving yourself a break is essential while going through such a process.

Thank you for tuning in to the Divorce Chapter podcast. If you believe this episode could help others, feel free to share it. Remember, you're not alone in this journey.

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This is a shorter episode as at the time of recording, I'm in the midst of moving. To where my granddaughter has named ‘Peach Palace’.... Which got me onto the subject of names and our identity. 

This episode focuses on changing our name when we get married…. and all that it takes to adapt to a new name. To then have to think about changing it again after divorce…. with what that all means for who we are.

Why we might change it…. Or not… 

The episode talks through my name journey and why, now, I'm Sarah Elizabeth in all areas of my life except legally and professionally. And I'm happy with that, just like I might be with Peach Palace. Names hold power, and they become a part of who we are.

Have you changed your name post-divorce? Or have you thought about it? I'd love to hear your thoughts on how names shape our identities. 

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In this episode, I want to dive into the world of friendships after divorce. It's a topic that's close to my heart because my friends have been my rock during all the chaos. Your friends can be your biggest support squad through divorce, and I've been truly blessed with friends who've stood by my side. I tell you about some of them in this episode!

I'm fortunate to have a lot of amazing friends. They've been my lifeline during this journey. But, not all friendships survive divorce. Some friends, even close ones, fade away, unable to handle the changes. It's heartbreaking to lose friends along with your marriage.

And then there's the issue of mutual friends. When you've been part of a couple, it's inevitable that some of your friendships were tied to that relationship. You may find that they feel compelled to take sides or become distant. It can be tough to navigate this shift.

Making new friends as an adult is challenging, too. It's like dating, but for friends. It's essential to reflect on who you are and what you bring to a friendship. Shared values, humour, interests, and hobbies are key. Surround yourself with people who lift you up, not those who drag you down.

And what about staying friends with your ex? Well, I don't have a clear answer to that. It's a personal choice. For those with children, it might be necessary for future family events.

Ultimately, it's about finding your tribe, people who accept you for who you are. If you're feeling isolated, reach out. There are communities and support groups out there. And remember, it's okay to make mistakes in friendships. Real friends stick by you no matter what.

I truly appreciate you all for listening. Your support means the world to me. So, have a fantastic week, and remember, you've got a friend in me too.

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Some big news in my life: my landlady is selling Princess Cottage, my home for the last 10 years since my divorce and my beloved sanctuary. After the initial shock, I'm genuinely excited about the next chapter.

In this episode I talk through how I moved out of my marital home and found this gorgeous home…. Then fast forward to now, and I have to leave it. But here's the thing I've learned: home isn't just bricks and mortar; it's about the memories and experiences we create. If you're going through a similar situation, remember, you are what makes a home, not the other way around. You can do this, and I'm here to support you.

And speaking of support, in this episode I share some practical tips for moving after divorce:

1. Take it step by step, room by room. Start with less emotionally charged spaces and work your way up.

2. Declutter ruthlessly. Do you really need 37 mugs? Ask yourself how each item fits your vision for your new home.

3. Be as amicable as possible with your ex. It'll make the transition smoother.

Remember, moving after divorce can be tough, but it's an opportunity for a fresh start. 

If you're going through something similar or want to share your stories, reach out. Let's navigate this journey together.