The Reinvention Era

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In this episode of The Divorce Chapter, I share a rather bizarre experience that got me thinking about attachment styles. A recent pit stop at an M1 service station led to an encounter with a young child left unattended. This incident raised questions about how attachment styles develop, not just in children but also in adults.

As a social worker, my understanding of attachment styles was primarily related to children and babies. Attachment theory, pioneered by John Bowlby, posits that babies are born with a drive to form emotional bonds. It also suggests that if a child's emotional needs aren't consistently met, they can develop anxious or avoidant attachment styles.

Fast forward to adulthood, and it's easy to dismiss attachment theory as something that only applies to kids. However, delving into the book "Attached" by Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel SF Heller MA opened my eyes to how these childhood attachments continue to influence us as grown-ups, especially in our relationships.

Attachment styles in adults are primarily secure, anxious, and avoidant. Secure individuals find it easy to be warm and loving in relationships, communicate effectively, and aren't afraid of commitment. Anxious peeps, like my former self, tend to crave closeness but often fear their partner doesn't want the same level of intimacy, leading to emotional turbulence. Avoidant types prioritise independence and may struggle with intimacy and clear communication.

So, why does this matter post-divorce? Well, it turns out that attachment styles can play a significant role in our healing journey and in future relationships. Secure individuals usually have an easier time sustaining long-term relationships, while avoidants and anxious types might find themselves cycling through partners more frequently.

For those of us who've faced divorce, understanding our attachment style can be a game-changer in the healing process. It can also explain why some past relationships may not have worked out as expected. Recognizing these patterns and behaviours can help us navigate future relationships more effectively.

FOR THE ATTACHED BOOK:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0050CJNJC/ref=nosim?tag=thedivorceboo-21

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As we step into October and embrace the utter gorgeousness of autumn, it's good to remember that letting go, much like the shedding leaves, can be a transformative and healing process. In this episode, I dive into the powerful world of journaling, a practice that can help us release the weight of our thoughts and pave the way for growth after divorce and talk through various journaling techniques to help you do just that. 

Guided Journals: These structured journals offer guided questions, making it perfect for beginners and those overwhelmed by their thoughts. They can be used daily or sporadically.

Journal Prompts: These provide specific questions or themes to reflect on. They help narrow your focus and are excellent for sorting through conflicting thoughts.

Scripting: Writing about a desired future event in the present tense, aiming to manifest your dreams. Visualize what truly makes you happy, which helps uncover what you want to bring into your life right now.

Stream of Consciousness/also known as "Morning Pages,": this involves writing freely for three sides of A4 paper upon waking up. 

Brain Dump: When your thoughts become overwhelming, grab a pen and write down everything that's cluttering your mind. Think of it as decluttering your thoughts.

Gratitude Journal: Reflect on what you're thankful for, focusing on three to ten things daily. Exploring why you're grateful can help you appreciate even the smaller, often overlooked aspects of life.

Choose the journaling style that resonates with you. It's about finding what works best for you. Remember, even one line a day can bring transformative insights as you start to recognize patterns in your thoughts.

INNER QUEEN GUIDED JOURNAL (mentioned in the guided journal section):

http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B086PPCPDS/ref=nosim?tag=thedivorceboo-21

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In this week’s episode, I delve into the profound impact of our thoughts on our emotions, behaviours, and overall life outcomes. Particularly after a break up. We explore the roles of the conscious and subconscious mind, and talk through how childhood experiences shape our subconscious beliefs and thought patterns, often leading to automatic interpretations that may not actually be the truth.

I introduce the concept of reprogramming our subconscious thoughts and neural pathways and then explore the brain's remarkable neuroplasticity, which allows us to change established thought patterns and create new ones.

Becoming aware of our beliefs about divorce and their impact on our lives is just so important. I’d love for you to question the absolute truth of long-held beliefs and consider other interpretations and meanings.

We close this week’s episode with the powerful quote from Dr. Wayne Dyer: "If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."

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Divorce is like an earthquake that shakes the very foundations of your life, leaving you with a pile of rubble to navigate. Suddenly, you find yourself single, and one of the most challenging aspects of post-divorce life is adapting to a new daily routine. From the morning snooze wars to cooking for one, everything changes.

Adapting to life after divorce requires a toolkit, and one of the best tools is "Atomic Habits" by James Clear. This book is a game-changer when it comes to understanding how habits work. It breaks down habit formation into four stages: cue, craving, response, and reward. In this episode I talk through how we can use this knowledge to our advantage in the post-divorce chaos.

Don't rush the process. Life after divorce is a journey. 

Always remember... Step by Step.

I talk through the Atomic Habits book throughout this episode - if you'd like to look more at this, I'll leave a link here:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07J1XQSNK/ref=nosim?tag=thedivorceboo-21

Thank you as always for listening.

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I’m so excited to be back with another episode. Today, we're diving deep into the journey of adapting to single life after divorce. 

We've all felt the weight of society's expectations, haven't we? That belief that we're incomplete without a partner can mess with our minds. But guess what? I'm here to remind you that your worth isn't tied to your relationship status. Let's break free from these chains and realise that we're whole just as we are.

From holidays to car tyres and judgmental married women…. I cover some of my experiences to help you work through them (and laugh at the ridiculousness!) But mostly to flip the thoughts on single life and embrace it for how amazing it really can be…. If you can choose to see it that way. 

By changing our perspective, we're rewriting our stories, and with it comes a new chapter… no wedding ring required. 

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50 WAYS TO SPEND TIME ALONE

https://www.canva.com/design/DAFCeHBLxAk/PB2Ya-Ni4OaaMyBEjF1HEQ/view?utm_content=DAFCeHBLxAk&utm_campaign=designshare&utm_medium=link&utm_source=publishsharelink

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In this debut episode of The Divorce Chapter podcast, I share my personal journey – the story of my life, my struggles, and my triumphs. From childhood experiences that shaped my self-perception to navigating through a challenging marriage and ultimately finding empowerment in the aftermath of divorce, I lay it all out there. The goal? To let you know that you're not alone in your journey and to inspire you to rewrite your story, just as I did.

If you enjoyed the episode, please do me a solid – rate, review, and subscribe to The Divorce Chapter. Your support means the world 

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Welcome to "The Divorce Chapter" podcast, hosted by Sarah Elizabeth. In this debut episode, get ready to embark on a journey of resilience, growth, and self-discovery after unexpected life changes. 

Meet your host, Sarah Elizabeth, a divorce coach, mentor, and social worker, who shares her personal story of finding herself suddenly single after a 23-year relationship. Through candid storytelling, humour, and relatable anecdotes, Sarah sets the stage for the transformative narrative that unfolds throughout the podcast.

From navigating the intricacies of post-divorce life to embracing self-development and post-divorce growth, Sarah's journey becomes a source of inspiration for anyone facing the challenges of a new chapter. Whether you're finding solace in a glass of mocktail instead of a cocktail, dealing with Tinder and fuckboys, or rediscovering your sense of self, "The Divorce Chapter" is here to support and empower you.

Tune in every Friday as Sarah shares stories, tips, and expert insights to help you transition from fear to empowerment, from uncertainty to the excitement of creating your next chapter. The journey might have its ups and downs, but it's all part of reclaiming your life and turning it into a remarkable "fuck yes" adventure.

Join Sarah and her guests as they explore the emotional side of divorce, with a touch of humour and a dash of encouragement. Expect candid conversations, expert advice, and the occasional swear word – because sometimes, a well-placed expletive can be just the therapy you need.

Subscribe now to "The Divorce Chapter" podcast, and join a community of individuals seeking to rewrite their stories, find the golden moments amidst the challenges, and embrace the power of moving forward.

Remember, your story only ends when you stop writing it. 

Welcome to "The Divorce Chapter," where each episode is a step toward crafting a life that's authentically and unapologetically yours.