The Schmear Podcast

By The Schmear Podcast

Welcome to The Schmear, a podcast hosted by Alyssa Burns & Hailey Wilson. We're cousins who grew up together & after many failed YouTube channels later, have decided to make a podcast to talk ... more

· Comedy

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FAQs about The Schmear Podcast:

How many episodes does The Schmear Podcast have?

The podcast currently has 55 episodes available.

The Schmear Podcast episodes:

February 01, 2026 S4E3: We’re Not Beating the Bad Outfit Era Allegations
Florida reunions, fashion regrets, and pop culture chaos 🚨
This week on The Schmear, Alyssa and Hailey recap a mini Florida reunion for Lindsey’s bridal shower, unpack their worst outfit eras, and argue over what’s overrated vs. overhated (celebs, shows, trends...no one is safe).
Plus: accidentally watching Skyscraper and witnessing history, spiraling over Traitors (#JusticeForLisaRinna), celebrating Tell Me Lies being OUT, new Queer Eye, Grammys-eve chaos, and why we’re on the brink of a legendary music year.
Unhinged, opinionated, and very cousin-coded. 🎧✨
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45min
January 01, 2026 S4E2: 2026 Is a Fever Dream
On this future-forward episode of The Schmear, Hailey Wilson and Alyssa Burns spread the cream cheese on everything new, shiny, and slightly unhinged coming our way in 2026. We’re talking TV throwbacks rising from the ashes (yes, Scrubs is scrubbing back in and Malcolm in the Middle is very much having a middle-age moment), plus rumors of the Spice Girls spicing up Las Vegas with a possible Sphere residency (zig-a-zig-ah, indeed). And because we can’t help ourselves, we close things out with a totally unofficial, extremely unserious mock NBA draft featuring our favorite players, scouting reports based purely on vibes. It’s nostalgia, news, and nonsense, all perfectly schmear-ed together. 🥯🏀✨
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43min
December 01, 2025 S4E1: Why We Stopped Talking for 672 Days
Did you miss us? Because we missed you.... 672 days later Alyssa and Hailey are filling YOU in on The Bilson Family LORE....We catch you up on all the things you've missed since Feb 2024. Between Dancing With The Stars, Wicked 2: For Good, and just good 'ole fashion memories with cousins, you are in for a treat with this reunion episode. Let's chive!
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49min
February 09, 2024 S3E9: This Week Was An Emotional Roller Coaster
RIP Toby Keith :( you will be missed by the schmear gals! This week was an emotional roller coaster starting with Toby Keith passing and ending with Drake breaking the internet (if you know, you know). As Aly B & Hailey gear up for Superbowl this weekend, they quiz each other on superbowls of christmas past, place bets on Usher's half time show, and more. Let's CHIVE (into some buffalo chicken dip) BTW: check out all of our episodes at https://www.itstheschmear.com/
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51min
January 26, 2024 S3E8: Think U The Sh*t, U Ain't Even a FART
On this episode of The Schmear, Hailey and Aly B tell the papschmears about their wild weekends And of course, the co-hosts discuss their fav club bangers, staying in vs going out, the latest and greatest in pop-culture drama, and of course talk about their fav new song!!!! (Think U The Sh*t, U Ain't Even a FART) and last but not least, predict the ins and outs for all things trendy in 2034 ;) Let's chive!
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44min
January 19, 2024 S3E7: Pedro Drank 23 Servings of Heavy Whipping Cream
Yep...you read that right. PEDRO DRANK 23 SERVINGS OF HEAVY WHIPPING CREAM. He thought this "keto-hack" would enhance his coffee, but all it did was enhance his stomach cramps. On this episode of The Schmear the ladies discuss the heavy whipping cream debacle of 2024, songs that remind us of eachother, we play finish the lyric, and of course debrief on all things popculture (who is Pedro Pascal rumored to be dating????) Let's chive!
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50min
January 12, 2024 S3E6: New Year, New Schmear
Guess who's back.....THE SCHMEAR BABY! This week, Alyssa and Hailey kick off 2024 just right, discussing their new years goals and resolutions, Hailey's hot new (rental) wheels #malibu, Aly B playing cupid, Miss Gypsy Rose Blanchard on The Viall Files, and so much more. Happy New Year PAPS ;)
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46min
December 15, 2023 S3E5: All I want for Christmas is you (and maybe some more subscribers, too)
On this episode of The Schmear Hailey and Alyssa talk through some of the hardest debates....Christmas Vacation or A Christmas Story? Elf or The Grinch? We also take to the streets and make our listeners choose between these beloved movies for this weeks Bagel Bite. We also dive into all things pop culture like Drake and his new boo, Tate Mcrae and Nicki Minaj's new albums, and of course BIP breakups. Take a listen to this weeks episode, and as always let's chive!
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52min
December 08, 2023 S3E4: Sims and Saltburn
On this episode of The Schmear, Hailey tells the papschmears about her bar fight....did she spend the night in jail? And Aly B lets us know that Will Ferrell showed up at her front door in his Elf costume???? WTF. And of course, the co-hosts discuss in their future biopics (dropping in 2040) who they'd want to play them, the Saltburn bathtub scene, the DWTS finale, and in true schmear fashion H & A play this or that! Let's chive!
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49min
December 01, 2023 S3E3: WE LOVE YOU CHILI'S!
We would each give our big toe if that meant we could eat at Chili's for every meal...What is your guilty pleasure restaurant chain? What chains do you absolutely LOATHE? On this episode of The Schmear, I'm not sure if these ladies are hungry or just really passionate about food, but they take you on a ride...Also, lots to unpack, Mark Cuban leaving Shark Tank, Spotify dropping everyones 2023 Wrapped, Lin Manuel Miranda???, and of course our fav lady - PIONEER WOMAN ;)
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46min

FAQs about The Schmear Podcast:

How many episodes does The Schmear Podcast have?

The podcast currently has 55 episodes available.