Many of us don’t realize how many of our behaviors are automated. We need a certain amount of this automation to free up cognitive processing energy to learn new things, try new behaviors and deal adaptively with new situations.

 

So habits and automations are not bad. The question is, are they aligning with our most desired way of experiencing life?

 

To find out, we need to bring these unconscious patterns into our awareness. From that vantage point we can take a more honest inventory of whether these habits enhance our life or deplete it.

 

The most helpful way to gain conscious access to unconscious patterns is to become a witness to them.

 

This is where meditation can be helpful, but another step you can take is to be a witness to your own body.

 

If you can watch how your own body moves, you are accessing neural circuits involved in self-observation and what Stanislave Dehaene relates to as ‘conscious access’.  This helps you make the unconscious conscious.

 

One particular part of the body you can start to witness is your hands.

 

Our hands are one of the first tools we use in self-soothing. We use our hands generally to help us consume/ingest something, or to be in contact with another organism. This is for two reasons. From the time we are born (and even in the womb in terms of amniotic fluid), ingesting a substance activates the swallow reflects which engages the parasympathetic nervous system and thus helps soothe us. The pressure and heat from physical contact with another organism Is an infants main tool for knowing that it is not alone : this proximity to safety and protection help regulate its nervous system. We carry that need for proximity throughout our life.

So to take an inventory of your habits, observe or witness what your hands do throughout the day.

 

You’ll notice that much of this hand activity involves the above mentioned two things: grasping for some thing to ingest or consume; or seeking contact with another organism. This can be cuddling with a pet, gesturing for someone to interact with you or using technology to ‘ping’ a signal to someone so that they notice you and ping you back. All of these behaviors are ways we seek to know we are not alone, thus soothing our nervous system. (Ep 11 goes into this depth).

 

To assess whether these habits are truly serving you, it’s important to examine the effects after you’ve engaged in the activity.

 

This noticing of after-effects helps us separate what feels good in the moment compared with what is actually good for us in the longer trajectory of our life. Future projection and extrapolation involves the prefrontal cortex - an area of the brain that also helps with impulse control and inhibitory signaling - both of which will help you pause before you do some thing that may not actually be in your best interest.

 

Let’s say you want to assess if eating donuts is a habit that you want to stop. (in this example, you may already know that it is some thing you want to stop doing, but it’s helpful to go through this assessment process). Instead of putting all of your attention on how good the donut tastes as you’re eating it, you’ll need to also use your attention to notice the after-affects of eating it.