Obviously, there will be quite a bit of satire in this post and we don’t actually want you to ruin your wife’s day, but the serious part is this: we want to highlight some key gender differences between guys and gals.

Perhaps some of you are like Caleb – you came to marriage having been raised in an all-boys family, and educated in an all-boys school while going to an all-boys church… only to discover that women have certain sensitivities that aren’t even on your male radar….

Before we start, we want you to know that we believe in the equality of women and men and that your wife is worthy of respect at all times and without exception. We also believe that teasing mixed with sarcastic truth is a form of verbal abuse. However, we both enjoy teasing each other and being teased. There is a healthy way to do that. So that’s our disclaimer, and without further ado, let’s get to the top three ways to ruin your wife’s day!

Number One: Miss your lunch date with her. Later, have your secretary call, or text to apologize.

A few researchers did a study of college women and men, asking what they wanted in a marriage partner. They were asking about qualities one would want in a spouse and looking for qualities where there were gender differences and where women, in particular, placed a higher emphasis.

One of those qualities was intelligence. Really, we can’t do much about our intelligence! The other two qualities are ones we want to emphasize: women desired a spouse who would be considerate and dependable. That’s why the best way to ruin your wife’s day is to completely let her down.

Women don’t need men (in our culture) for food, housing, and basic necessities – they can get these things on their own. What they do want is a man who is dependable as a husband for themselves and a father for their children.

So, if you want to ruin your wife’s day, just make sure you’re not dependable. Don’t keep your commitments. Don’t follow through with what you promise. Let her down.

The other thing women want is a husband who is considerate. That just means being careful not to cause inconvenience or hurt to others. This is about being very thoughtful of your spouse. It will delight your wife if you are a husband who is a considerate person – you are intentional about thinking about her, her needs, her concerns and how your actions and choices impact her.

Being inconsiderate will most definitely ruin her day because it’ll feel like you don’t care about her. It can feel dismissive and make her feel neglected. Being considerate though requires you to take those moments to pause and consider her so that she is not inconvenienced or hurt.

Really, these are gentlemanly qualities.

Guys: your wife may be the type to like some grease under your fingernails, or she may like you in a tweed coat with a stack of essays under your arm as you come through the door. Regardless, what she really wants is to be married to a gentleman.

So be considerate. But also, be dependable.[i]

Number Two: Take her for granted. Best started the day after you get back from your honeymoon.

Not being considerate can be like taking your wife for granted, but we want to drill a little deeper into this second way to best ruin your wife’s day. Women just love being taken for granted… NOT!

News flash here for you husbands: most men come into marriage with the belief that their wife will keep working on the relationship. Actually, women are significantly more likely than men to carry the belief that couples stop working on their relationship when they marry.

In fact, studies of marital and dating relationships have repeatedly shown that women report lower levels of overall satisfaction and need fulfillment than men. Most women are less satisfied with their marriages than men are.[ii]

Why is this?

This is, in part, because women are more sensitive to conflict, tensions and unmet expectations in their romantic relationships. On top of this,