Grab my FREE Guide “Finally at Peace” and start breaking free from survival mode: https://janice-holland.kit.com/finallyatpeace
You’re not “going back to who you were.” You’re meeting yourself for the first time. After years of chaos (Phase 1: The Shattering) and the numb quiet of (Phase 2: The Void), Phase 3 is where small sparks return—preferences, opinions, sensations—and your voice begins to form. It’s tender, thrilling, and scary… and totally normal.
In this episode, I’ll help you understand why guilt shows up when you speak, how to tell vacancy from true peace, and what it looks like to set boundaries without collapsing into people-pleasing or overcorrecting into armor.
Why extreme guilt appears when you first use your voice (it’s a nervous-system pattern, not a personality flaw)
The shift from fawning → authenticity, and how to ride the waves without backsliding
Vacancy vs. Peace: how to tell “disconnected calm” from grounded presence in your body
Real stories of awakening: the first “no,” reciprocal friendships, and healthy partners who can hold your truth
The hidden trap of overcompensation (harsh, guarded, controlling) and how to find the courageous middle
Simple practices to build self-trust:
micro-boundaries, body tracking, and post-conversation regulation
Try these practices from the episode
1. Pause before you answer — check your body for a real yes/no
2. Track sensations — truth often feels tense and relieving at once
3. Practice micro-boundaries — “I’ll think about it,” “Not this time”
4. Move your body after hard moments — walk, stretch, shake to discharge energy ______________________________________________________
Start the series here Phase 1: The Shattering: https://youtu.be/wB9kYOlwUEI?si=Oisz4aljbujgHr94
Phase 2: The Void: https://youtu.be/JZhDVkZzrE4?si=C6L-JzHkN-2hFDeu
_______________________________________________
Chapters 00:00 Cold open – “I’m still here”
01:05 What Awakening is (and isn’t)
05:18 Why guilt shows up when you speak 10:42 Fawning → Authenticity (nervous-system lens)
14:55 Vacancy vs Peace (how to tell the difference)
19:10 Overcompensation story (armor ≠ empowerment)
24:30 4 practices to build self-trust
28:30 Closing + what’s next _____________________________________________________________ Ready to go Deeper?
Join the Courageous Living Digital Studio: https://janiceholland.thrivecart.com/the-courageous-living-no-bs-membership/
Join the 60 Day Reset: https://janiceholland.thrivecart.com/cl-group-transformation/
Work with me 1:1: https://janiceholland.thrivecart.com/thecourageouslivingjourney/
Not sure which one to pick? Take the quiz: https://form.typeform.com/to/YFxykSjU
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.trauma.teacher
Janice Holland, LPC-S, Certified Trauma Model Therapist, and founder of The Courageous Living Framework, teaches women and healers worldwide how to break survival patterns, heal trauma, and rebuild lives rooted in truth, peace, and power. Known online as The Trauma Teacher, Janice helps women stop people-pleasing, heal the patterns that kept them small, and build unshakable confidence after trauma. It’s time to live a life that finally feels like yours.
