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If we’re the ones to meet our own emotional needs - where do we begin? When we’re identified with parts that feel unloveable, broken, rejected or alone, this will feel impossible and confusing. Not to mention the fact that no one ever taught us or modelled it to us.

In this episode, I talk about the two big shifts you need to make to start meeting your own emotional needs - so your relationship dynamics can also start to change.

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Check out these related episodes:
Ep138: How to create emotional intimacy (when it hasn’t worked before)
Ep137: 3 comforting truths about your relationship reactions
Ep6: How things in the way of your process actually ARE your process
Ep109: The four pillars to shift patterns and heal wounds

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You find show notes in this post on my website

Register for my FREE training - From Reactive to Safe in Relationships

Join me in Alchemy where I teach you the four pillars to heal emotional wounds and shift reactive patterns

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The possibility for suffering is right here, inside of you, and so is the possibility for joy, healing, and ease. For me and my friend Paul Grant, it took a few power journeys to Mexico, among other things, to experience the truth in that statement.

In this episode, I have a conversation with Paul about that first journey to Mexico, the problem with being at war with your mind, and other important discoveries from our inner journeys.

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Check out these related episodes:
Ep 44: The direct experience of your true self​
​Ep 45: How I got my mind on board with accessing consciousness​
​Ep 16: What is Dreaming
Ep 30: What you experience on a Power Journey

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You find show notes in this post on my website

Register for my FREE training - From Reactive to Safe in Relationships

Join me in Alchemy where I teach you the four pillars to heal emotional wounds and shift reactive patterns

Send us a text

You’re doing the work—but something still feels stuck.

In this episode, I share three subtle but common obstacles that show up when you’re trying to shift reactive patterns. These blocks often arise from your mind’s protective logic—and recognizing them is a crucial part of real transformation.

I know you can have the shifts you long for.
And one of the most important pieces of that is being prepared for the quiet ways your mind might resist change.

You’ll learn how to move through the resistance—so you can finally go deeper than surface-level awareness and create lasting shifts.

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Check out these related episodes:
Ep109: The four pillars to shift patterns and heal wounds
Ep6: How things in the way of your process actually ARE your process
Ep133: The place to start (when changing reactive relationship patterns)
Ep134: Three things to do when triggered in relationships

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You find show notes in this post on my website

Register for my FREE training - From Reactive to Safe in Relationships

Join me in Alchemy where I teach you the four pillars to heal emotional wounds and shift reactive patterns

Send us a text

Want deeper connection—but shut down when it’s time to open up?

In this episode, I explore why vulnerability often feels unsafe, and what to do when your nervous system interprets emotional intimacy as a threat.

You’ll learn how to create real closeness without overriding your internal sense of safety—and how to meet the moment without abandoning yourself.

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Check out these related episodes:
Ep133: The place to start (when changing reactive relationship patterns)
Ep109: The four pillars to shift patterns and heal wounds
Ep134: Three things to do when triggered in relationships

—

You find show notes in this post on my website

Register for my FREE training - From Reactive to Safe in Relationships

Join me in Alchemy where I teach you the four pillars to heal emotional wounds and shift reactive patterns

Send us a text

Most of us carry shame and judgment about our emotional reactions—especially in relationships.

In this episode, I offer 3 comforting truths to replace the fear-based stories that keep you stuck. These truths can change how you relate to your emotions, soften your internal response, and open the door to deeper healing and change.

This is the episode to return to when you feel lost, ashamed, or like you “should know better by now.”

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Check out these related episodes:

Ep134: Three things to do when triggered in relationships
Ep110: Making suffering your ally
Ep109: The four pillars to shift patterns and heal wounds

—

You find show notes in this post on my website

Register for my FREE training - From Reactive to Safe in Relationships

Join me in Alchemy where I teach you the four pillars to heal emotional wounds and shift reactive patterns

Send us a text

Most of us stay stuck in the surface layer of our reactions—anger, withdrawal, blame, shutdown. But those aren’t the real issue.

In this episode, I walk you through one of my own recent triggers and share the emotional layers I uncovered underneath. You’ll learn how to recognize what’s really going on inside a reaction, and how to move through it in a way that actually shifts the pattern.

This is the work that makes deeper love and connection possible.

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Check out these related episodes:

Ep39: Understanding survival response and how it’s running your inner work

Ep110: Making suffering your ally

Ep109: The four pillars to shift patterns and heal wounds

—

You find show notes in this post on my website

Register for my FREE training - From Reactive to Safe in Relationships

Join me in Alchemy where I teach you the four pillars to heal emotional wounds and shift reactive patterns

Send us a text

People-pleasing isn’t just a bad habit—it’s a protection mechanism rooted in your nervous system.

In this episode, I break down what people-pleasing really is, why it feels so hard to say no, and how to shift the pattern at the root—without shaming yourself or forcing a boundary that doesn’t feel safe yet.

You’ll also hear a real-life session where I guide Karen through this exact process using the Four Pillars of Embodied Self Mastery. In just 15 minutes, she moves through the emotional layers and accesses a clear, grounded NO from love—not fear.

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Check out these related episodes:

Ep39: Understanding survival response and how it’s running your inner work

Ep110: Making suffering your ally

Ep109: The four pillars to shift patterns and heal wounds

 —

You find show notes in this post on my website

Register for my FREE training - From Reactive to Safe in Relationships

Join me in Alchemy where I teach you the four pillars to heal emotional wounds and shift reactive patterns

Send us a text

What do you do in the moment—when you’re deep in a relationship trigger?

In this episode, I walk you through three practical things you can do while the reaction is happening. You’ll also learn about the three capacity levels that help you respond instead of react, and how to grow your emotional leadership over time.

This is for anyone who’s tired of knowing better… but still getting stuck in the same loop when it matters most.

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Check out these related episodes:

Ep39: Understanding survival response and how it’s running your inner work

Ep110: Making suffering your ally

Ep109: The four pillars to shift patterns and heal wounds

—

You find show notes in this post on my website

Register for my FREE training - From Reactive to Safe in Relationships

Join me in Alchemy where I teach you the four pillars to heal emotional wounds and shift reactive patterns

Send us a text

Suppose you want to change jealousy, people-pleasing, anger or other reactive relationship patterns. Then the first key is to recognize the survival state the relationship dynamics are putting you in. PLUS how you’re trying to make changes from there.

When my clients learn how to regulate their nervous system and make changes from OUTSIDE the old identification, results to lifelong patterns happen quickly. In this episode, I walk you through how this works and have a conversation with members in my program about their results.

This is part three in a series on how to use the issues, reactions and emotions showing up in your relationships to finally heal core wounds and be free from old conditioning.

Get my free training “From struggling and reactive to peaceful and safe in relationships”

—

Check out these related episodes:

Ep39: Understanding survival response and how it’s running your inner work

Ep110: Making suffering your ally

Ep109: The four pillars to shift patterns and heal wounds

—

You find show notes in this post on my website

Register for my FREE training - From Reactive to Safe in Relationships

Join me in Alchemy where I teach you the four pillars to heal emotional wounds and shift reactive patterns

Send us a text

Jealousy is one of the most misunderstood and shame-filled emotions we face in intimate relationships. That's why we tend to cover it up.

In this episode, we explore what jealousy is really pointing to—how it’s often a sign of an unprocessed wound, and why simply “owning your reaction” isn’t enough.

You’ll learn how to begin healing jealousy at the root while staying connected to both your truth and your nervous system—so you can respond with clarity, not self-abandonment.

You find show notes in this post on my website

Register for my FREE training - From Reactive to Safe in Relationships

Join me in Alchemy where I teach you the four pillars to heal emotional wounds and shift reactive patterns