The VBAC Link

We have received so many messages and emails from you requesting more VBAMC stories and today, we are giving you just that. Susana joins us from Mexico sharing her VBAC story after five Cesareans!

Each of Susana’s Cesarean experiences was unique in their own way, but the dream of a vaginal birth never left her heart. When she found a supportive midwife and doctor during her VBA5C pregnancy, Susana knew this was her chance to finally achieve that goal. 

With her husband by her side encouraging and supporting her, Susana powerfully pushed her baby out. The hospital staff and community buzzed with shock and amazement over what she had achieved!

“That moment was unlike any other moment in my life.”

ACOG Article: Dr. Angelica Glover

Evidence-Based Birth: The Evidence on VBAC

Needed Website

How to VBAC: The Ultimate Prep Course for Parents

Full Transcript under Episode Details 

Meagan: Women of Strength, this is the moment so many of you have been waiting for. We have a VBA5C so for anyone who doesn’t know what that means, it is a VBAC after 5 Cesarean story for you today. This has been requested so much. We received emails in our personal email. We have gotten it on social media saying, “Please, can we get some stories that have VBAC after more than 3 Cesareans?” We know so many people out there don’t know that this is an option or they know it’s an option but they don’t find the support or they can’t find the support. 

They are few and far between but we have our friend Susana today who is going to be sharing her VBA5C story. Welcome, Susana. How are you?

Susana: Hi. Thank you so much for inviting me. I’m so excited. 

Meagan: Oh my gosh. I am so excited. 

Yes. I am so excited and you are in Mexico, correct? Is that where your VBAC was? 

Susana: I’m sorry? 

Meagan: Was your VBAC in Mexico?

Susana: Yeah, but it was a very, very hard way. I’m going to share what I did. 

First of all, I can’t separate this way from my faith because I prayed so much for this and I trusted so much and also, I trusted so much in the process and in the body and those things 

But okay, I’m going to tell you what happened with me and why I had five C-sections. 

First of all, I got pregnant in 2009. My pregnancy went very healthily with no problems at all. I was 41+5 weeks and I had a doctor who was– well, he said he was for natural birth. I don’t know how to say it. He was pro-birth. 

Meagan: Yeah, that he’s pro. He’s supportive. 

Susana: Supportive. Yeah, that’s the word. But in reality, he was more C-section-supportive. While we were passing a very difficult part of our life because my father-in-law passed away exactly on my due date. We were very emotional and very sensitive. Labor wasn’t starting so the doctor said, “No, baby is not engaged. You are only 3 centimeters. I can say that baby is not going to birth naturally. I say that it is better for you to go directly to the C-section.” 

I was disappointed because I was walking so much every day, but for the situation for my husband and all of the family, I accepted. We went to the C-section. 

I got pregnant again in 2010 8 months later and I was very excited to now get a VBAC. The doctor said he wasn’t going to support me but in the end, I had a TOLAC, a trial. I was progressing well. I was 5 centimeters when I went to the hospital and the doctor was a little bit nervous because the C-section that I had before was one year and five months before so he was like, “You have to be fast because we have the risk of uterine rupture.” 

He started to make an impression on me and I was starting to be stressed. After 5 hours I think, he said, “Baby is not getting down. You are still at 5 and we are going to the C-section again.” I cried a lot and my husband said, “We tried and we can’t do this anymore. It can be dangerous. Go to the C-section.” 

It was very traumatic because they put in the epidural and it only worked in half of my body. I started to scream, “No, please. No. I can feel everything.” They put the epidural in again. It was difficult. 

Then I got pregnant again in 2012 but I didn’t fight anymore. I decided for a repeat C-section. The good part is that it was peaceful because I was accepting the situation. Everything went well. 

Then I got pregnant in 2013. Also, we were going to opt for a C-section because I didn’t have any other chance but the doctor started saying, “No more babies. Four C-sections is a thing,” and things like that but my husband and I were talking about it and we thought that it wasn’t an option for us to have– I don’t remember the word. Tying the tubes. 

Meagan: Oh yeah, a tubal. 

Susana: Yes. The sterilization. 

So we went to a repeat C-section. It wasn’t as smooth as the one before because my baby was 37.5 weeks so we had a little problem with maturity. Is that the word? She was very small. 

Meagan: She was technically preterm. 

Susana: Yeah. Preterm. She showed signs of preterm. She was whimpering and something like that. We had to go to the neurospecialist. Everything was going well and there was no problem at all, but we were careful for another pregnancy. 

We waited a lot and we got pregnant again in 2017. I spent the half of my pregnancy with the same doctor, but at half of the pregnancy when I was 20 weeks, some friend told me, “Oh, you know what? There is a mom in Brazil who had a VBAC after four C-sections.” I was like, “What?” I didn’t know that existed. 

I started to inform myself and I found a supportive midwife but she said, “We aren’t going to chance it to go to the hospital. We have to have the birth in your house.” 

We prepared everything for the home birth and the bad thing is that I was anxious at 39 weeks and had prodromal labor. I passed the due date. I was 41 and 42 and then 42.5 weeks so stress started to play a role here. 

I started labor but I passed three days in labor so that was really, really hard. I passed two days at 5 centimeters dilation. Then my midwife said, “I don’t know what has happened. I think we can’t wait anymore. You have to go to the hospital. Baby is good.” 

The heart rate was optimal but I didn’t know what to do anymore. We went to the hospital. It was the only public hospital. 

Oh, the doctors were freaking out like, “What are you doing? Come on. You have to get the C-section 2 weeks before.” I suffered very, very much obstetric violence. It was very traumatic. Baby was very low. I was at 8 centimeters when I got to the hospital. I was begging for them to let me try and let me push but they said, “No. You are crazy. We have to go to the C-section right, right now.” 

When they pulled baby out, they broke the uterine artery and I lost a lot of blood. I was very weak and it was very painful. That was a disaster. 

We were like, “No more babies I think”, but by the grace of God, I got pregnant again in 2021. Sadly, I had a miscarriage on Christmas actually. It was very sad. But I don’t know. That miscarriage let me know that my body works and that I would be able to have good contractions and my body was able to give birth. 

I prayed, “God, if you want, I want another baby.” 

In November of 2022, I got pregnant again and that time, I was totally strong to fight for another try to have a vaginal birth. My husband was totally against the trying. He was so scared. Also, I was a little bit scared, but I was trusting at that time. I was trusting so hard. I was praying so hard. I decided to not go to the doctor because I was so scared of the doctor. I was hesitant. 

I don’t know why I didn’t want to hear, “You are in danger. No. This is so dangerous. You can’t try. You have to go directly at 38 weeks to the C-section and you have to have a blood transfusion and you are of advanced maternal age,” because I am 41 years old, but I don’t know. I said, “I don’t want that in my pregnancy.” Actually, I had a friend who had seven C-sections and then had four home births. She was telling me, “No. Trust God. You have to know when they talk from fear and when they talk from the truth.” 

I could tell that a lot of people were speaking to me from the fear they felt, not from the truth. 

I stayed with that doctor until 28 weeks. I found a doctor who wasn’t judging me and who was open but he didn’t have experience with VBAC after multiple C-sections so he said, “I can check you and support you but not in the birth. I can’t do that. I have no experience.” 

Well, for me, it was like, “Oh, I’m at the beginning of the way.” 

Okay, so I kept praying and when I was 34 or 35 weeks in the pregnancy, I had a doula who gave me a contact of a midwife that she was supporting VBAC after three C-sections in a hospital with a doctor. I said, “Maybe there’s a chance for me.” 

I contacted her. I talked to her and she was very optimistic. She said, “Yeah. Of course. I can support you. We can prepare a home birth. I can support you. I can be your attendant.” I don’t know the word. 

Meagan: Maybe advocate? 

Susana: Not advocate. I mean, she was the one who received the baby. 

Meagan: Oh, like catching. Yeah, attending. 

Susana: Yeah, attending the birth. But my husband was like, “No, not a chance.” Because for my husband and also for me, it was very difficult and not secure. We were scared. We thought about what if something happened. That midwife told me, “I can speak with the doctor and maybe we can have a plan.” I said, “Okay.” I was 36 weeks so it could be difficult that he started to attend me in these late weeks. But I still had trust and confidence in God. 

I kept praying all of the time. 

One day, she called me and said, “Susana, good news. The doctor said yes. I told him all of the truths. I didn’t hide anything and he said, ‘Okay. If you are with me, I can attend this birth. But I need to watch her in the next days.’” So we went to the doctor. The doctor was in another city 40 minutes to an hour away from here. My husband couldn’t be with me so my parents went with me. 

My parents were so scared. 

Meagan: I bet. 

Meagan: They were very against trying. My husband wasn’t completely confident about it. All of my environment was against the VBAC. When we went to the doctor, the doctor was so supportive and so humane and so good and so kind. He said, “We are going to try. We are going to make our best. We are a good team. The midwife and I work together very good and very successfully but I’m going to keep all of the team here if we need the C-section in the last moment.” 

We agreed on that. My parents were so relieved. We talked with my husband and he was relieved also but he also had doubts. But in the environment of a hospital and– oh, I don’t know the word. The place where they make the C-section? 

Meagan: The operating room? 

Susana: Yeah, the operating room. In the side of the room, if everything was good, we trusted. He was supportive for the first time. He said, “Okay.” 

Two weeks passed after this visit and there was the moment when I started getting excited with things with labor. It was on the 11th of August last year in 2023 when I saw my mucus plug and the bloody show. I said, “Oh. I think things can be starting at any moment.” But in my last experience when I had the bloody show, it was two or three days before the labor really started. 

I patiently waited and the contractions started to be hardest but there was a half hour in between them. It was very manageable and still manageable. 

I passed the day with my normal activities. I had lunch with my parents and my five kids. I went to gymnastics class with my daughters and actually at night, we went to mass with friends and families that we know. 

A friend of ours invited us to dinner and I said, “No. I want to go home.” My husband was like, “What? You don’t want to go anywhere.” My husband started to sense that something was wrong. We returned to home and contractions started to be closer and intense. I wrote to my midwife and she said, “Okay. You have to count how many contractions happen in one hour,” so I started counting and from 10:00 PM to 11:00 PM, I had nine contractions. I wrote her and she said, “Okay, you are starting. I’m going to go to your home.” 

By the way, she lives 2 hours from my city so she came to my place at 2:30 AM and checked me. I was only 3 centimeters and 60% effaced. She went and she said, “Oh, congratulations. You are a 3. We only have to wait 7 more.” She was so positive and so kind and so lovely. 

But for me, it was like, What? 3 centimeters. There’s a long way to go. I was so disappointed and I started to have a crisis thinking, Okay. This is going to be three days of labor. It’s starting to be unbearable. I don’t know what I’m going to do. 

My husband told me, “You have to know that this is not going to be easy.” I was like, “Oh my god. What is going to happen?” I wrote a friend and she told me, “Maybe you were wrong. Maybe you are not in labor yet. Maybe it is prodromal labor so calm yourself and keep making your activities as normal.” I said, “Yeah, maybe that’s true. Maybe I’m not in labor yet.” 

One of the things is that my contractions don’t hurt in the uterus or in the belly. They hurt in the legs. 

Meagan: Oh. It radiates down. 

Susana: Exactly. I felt like it started in the hips and ran into the legs but I felt like– I don’t know how to say– but a burning. Yeah. It was burning pain. It was very, very intense. 

My friend told me, “Put one leg on the chair and one leg on the floor and balance side to side while a contraction comes.” I made that and that was really, really helpful. I could have a contraction very easily that way. I was telling myself, “My pelvis can open. My baby can know how to birth. Everything is okay. God is with me,” and things like that. That affirmation worked very, very good because it calmed myself and that’s how I passed the contractions all day long. Not the day, only the morning. 

My daughter, that morning, had a science fair so we decided it was at 8:00 AM so we went. It was the worst time for me having those contractions every seven minutes and very painful. All of the parents were like, “What is happening to her?” 

Meagan: That’s amazing that you went. 

Susana: It was because I thought, I’m going to have three days in labor. My midwife had told me that when there’s a labor after so many C-sections, there’s a lot of times that it lasts three, four, or even five days so in my mind, that was my expectation. 

While I was at the science fair, I said to my husband, “Please take me home. Let’s go home. I am in a lot of pain.” I called my midwife again and she came. She checked me and I was 6 centimeters so for me, I was like, “What? Whoa!” Yeah. 

She said, “We have to go to the hospital.” Oh, before that, we were planning to rent an AirBnB in the city which is Leon, Mexico to spend with all of the family those days that I was supposed to be in labor. So she said, “Forget about that plan. We will go directly to the hospital.” We called the doctor and the doctor said, “I need to check her with an ultrasound. You need to go to the office with me.” 

I thought it was useless, but we went to the office. It was the worst travel because I had contractions every 4 minutes and we were traveling in the van, but the good thing was that my midwife was making pressure on my hips and that released the pain. 

After 1 hour and 20 minutes, we arrived to the doctor. He checked me really fast and he said, “You are 6 centimeters.” Again, I was so disappointed because I thought, “Oh my god. One hour and I’m still a 6.” But my midwife told me, “No, I don’t think so. I think you are maybe a 7 or an 8.”

She is very wise. She had a lot of intuition. So we went to the hospital and it was 20 minutes away from the office. We arrived at the hospital at 12:35 PM. When we arrived at the hospital, he wanted to put me in an emergency room, but the doctor arrived immediately and told them, “No. Put her directly in a room because it was going to be a room birth.” I gave birth in a room, not in an operating room, but in a labor and delivery room. 

Meagan: They had you labor the rest of the way and give birth in the operating room?

Susana: Yeah. In Mexico, all of the births happen in the operating room. Actually, it’s not an operating room but it looks like it. It only has that stuff that they put the woman with the legs up. Yeah, I don’t remember the name, sorry. 

Meagan: Like just the position? 

Susana: Yeah. 

Meagan: Okay, gotcha. 

Susana: So we went to the room. My midwife said, “Do you want to go to the shower?” I said, “Yeah, please.” I went to the shower. At that time, my water broke like a balloon because I felt something really big getting out. It was shocking and I was like, “What? Is that the placenta?” She said, “No, let me see what it is.” It was the amniotic sac almost complete. It was amazing because my midwife told me, “I’ve never seen something like this.” It was amazing. 

After that, the contractions felt very different with no pain and I started to feel to push. It was very different for me and very scary because I never felt something like that. 

Meagan: Right. 

Susana: My midwife told me, “You’re going to birth now. You have to choose your position.” I stayed on my knees on the floor with the arms on the bed and started to push my baby out. I can say I didn’t feel any pain in this moment. I only felt the pressure. I think I had the reflex, the fetal ejection reflex.

Meagan: Yeah, mhmm. It’s like where the baby just comes out. 

Susana: Yeah, because I wasn’t pushing and my body was pushing. It was an amazing feeling but also, I was scared because I didn’t know how to do that. My husband was praying with me and he was very supportive and very loving in that moment. That moment was awesome. I know God was there. I knew all my prayers were answered in this precious moment. I only let my body make its worth. 

I felt incapable of pushing a baby out. That was an amazing feeling. I don’t know how to say it. It’s like you are here but you are not. 

Meagan: Yeah. It’s surreal. It’s really– when you realize you’re in that moment of pushing your baby out and I can’t even imagine after five Cesareans, just that moment of, Wait, is this really happening? 

Susana: Exactly. It was like a dream. My husband was telling me, “Yes. You are so strong. You are telling me the truth. The miracle is done. Come on love. You can do it. You are so close.” I can’t remember exactly but I think it was four or five pushes and baby was out. Baby had two wraps of the cord. 

Meagan: Double nuchal cord, okay. 

Susana: Yes. Then the body was out and it was a relieving feeling. It was magical. Everything was done. Every pain, every pressure, and every fear was gone. I felt that very warm and wet body in my arms. It was a magical moment like, I can’t believe this is happening. Praise to God. I was crying. That moment was unlike any other moment in my life. 

Meagan: I can’t even imagine. Wow. So was everyone very pleased and shocked? That’s not a normal thing. For VBAC after one and two, it’s like, okay. After three, providers are like, “I don’t really know. Risks do go up so we are nervous about this,” so after five, how was your community around you?

Susana: Yeah. They were very shocked. Actually, the hospital didn’t allow VBAC after multiple C-sections, but the doctor said because in the lobby, they asked, “How many pregnancies and how many births? All those were natural births?” The doctor said, “Yeah.” Everything was happening very fast. 

After the baby was born, everyone was screaming, “Vaginal birth after five C-sections here!” The nurses and the doctor and the people in the lobby said, “What?! It’s a miracle.” Everybody was so happy. Everybody was shocked. I don’t know. It was amazing. 

Meagan: I’m sure they had a lot of feelings. I’m sure they were so happy for you and so shocked and even probably still questioning, “Wait, really did that just happen?” Because even we as a mom pushing in that moment, I think it’s very much for the providers too, “Wait, is this happening?”

Susana: Yeah, actually the doctors said the medical community was pretty– I don’t know the word but they were saying, “What did you do? You didn’t do another C-section? What’s wrong with you?” They didn’t do the episiotomy and I didn’t tear at all. 

Meagan: Amazing. 

Susana: What else? He said, “It was a perfect birth.” Nothing went wrong. Nothing. So for him, for my doctor, he was very proud. He was not scared of sharing the evidence or the support and my case. 

Meagan: Right. He wasn’t scared of sharing that he was supportive of you doing that. 

Susana: Exactly. He put on social media what we did. A lot of people were like, “What?” But he told me, “I only supported you because of your midwife because she is amazing. She is very wise. She has a lot of intuition. She had a good eye to know when it can happen and when not. 

Meagan: Yeah. 

Susana: She is awesome. 

Meagan: I wonder if they work together often now. 

Susana: Not too often because she usually goes to home births but when a couple wants a hospital or a VBAC, she works with him. 

Meagan: Oh my gosh. That’s awesome that they can work together and it really truly makes it possible for those who want to. We know that not everybody will and we know that the risk is not acceptable for others. 

Susana: Right. Right, exactly. 

Meagan: Something that I love on ACOG, there is a website that is called acog.org so the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists so it’s more here in the U.S. but there is a provider called Dr. Angelica Glover. 

She wrote an article on VBAC and one of the things that I enjoyed about her article was the very end. It says, “One size does not fit all. If you are pregnant and have a previous Cesarean birth, talk through all of these questions with your OB/GYN. Weigh the risks and benefits of each birth option like you would with any important healthcare decision.” I love that. Just like you would with any healthcare decision. It says, “Think of this as an ongoing conversation with your OB that starts early in pregnancy and evolves over time. Your feelings may change and your risk factors could change too. There is no one-size-fits-all answer when it comes to choosing between trying for a VBAC or a repeat Cesarean birth. What matters is that you are comfortable with your decision and you feel supported through your pregnancy and birth.” 

I love that because really in the end, VBAC after three, four, five, or whatever may not be comfortable for someone else but it may be for someone like you. Then the biggest factor is finding the support and we know that can be really hard so I love hearing that you had two providers who were on board with you, trusted you, and trusted the process. 

I do love that your midwife talked to you about how it can take time and you made it to 8 centimeters before right? Your body had done it. It just still needed time. It has gone through a lot and there was scar tissue and all of the things. It can take time, but you were allowed that time. You were allowed that time. They trusted you and they trusted themselves even. I am just so happy for you and I appreciate you sharing your story because it is one of those things that is really desired. A lot of people don’t know it’s an option then they find out and they are like, Wait, is this really possible?

Yes, it is so it’s really nice to hear a story here and there as they come along to show that yes. Women of Strength, it is possible. Are there risks? Yes. There are risks. Are they more than VBAC after one or two Cesareans? Yeah and honestly, we don’t even know the exact evidence on specifically VBAC after five Cesareans because they are not studied and they are not happening. 

Susana: No, they are not but I can say that I read a lot. I found very good information from the Royal College of Gynecology and Obstetrics in the United Kingdom and it said that as a provider, you have to let the mom share if they want to try or do the repeat C-section, but always the vaginal birth is less risky than a repeat C-section especially after too many C-sections. 

Meagan: We do know that there are increased risks with repeat Cesareans as well. We know that is also very much a thing so we want to make sure that we are taking into consideration that as well because we’ve got issues where uterine rupture actually can also happen in a repeat Cesarean and that risk can be there. Bleeding and hysterectomy, there are risks that are sometimes actually higher for a Cesarean than a vaginal birth. 

It’s just important to know all of the risks. I think sometimes we hyper-focus on the risk of VBAC instead of going through and looking at things. Evidence-Based Birth has such an amazing article and I think it was actually even a podcast episode on VBAC. She talked about how there are a ton of studies within here. She goes through the maternal outcomes here. 

Susana: That’s awesome. 

Meagan: Yeah. It shows the maternal outcomes and the newborn outcomes. It says, “Maternal adverse events or bad outcomes were more frequent among women who had a C-section birth after Cesarean,” meaning they attempted a VBAC but it ended up in a Cesarean compared to those who had a VBAC. 

That’s another risk. We have Cesarean risks. We have VBAC risks and then we have where we are going for a VBAC and it goes into a Cesarean. There is also risk there. We really need to just pause and stop and look at everything. I mean, literally, everything before we make a decision. 

There are so many times like with your first birth, there was so much going on. You had such an unfortunate event happening with the loss of your loved one and a provider was saying, “Oh, you’re only at 3 centimeters and 60% effaced so this is probably not going to happen,” when in reality, that vaginal birth probably very much would have happened but we just didn’t know. We didn’t know. 

Susana: Yeah, totally. Yeah. 

Meagan: It’s so hard because there are so many times where we hear these things from a provider. Me too. I did too. I was like, okay. We trust them and we don’t want to not trust our provider but at the same time, we want to make sure that we do get informed. I’m so proud of you for along the way getting informed and learning about your options and I’m so happy for you that you were able to have your vaginal birth. 

Susana: Yeah, thank you. Thank you so much. I can say at least here, I think younger OB/GYNs are more open to support VBAC than the older OB/GYNs. I don’t know how it is in the United States, but here, I think that is happening. 

Meagan: Yeah. I think it takes us all continuing to advocate for ourselves to have these providers stop and change their point of view because I believe that so many times, even if the evidence is there, there are so many times that it takes seeing it to believe it. You can look at a piece of paper and look at the evidence and you can see that, but at the same time, you’re like, Okay, yeah. Sure. That probably can’t happen, even though it’s right there on the form, but seeing it really can change a lot of people’s perspectives and just opinions. I think that is what you probably did to that entire hospital. 

Like you said, “Vaginal birth after five Cesareans in here!” Yeah. They were all blown away and you really did. You changed their perspective. 

Susana: Yeah. I am so happy to help another woman, to inspire, to read, to find information, real information. Don’t let the doctors scare you. There is risk in all of pregnancy. It can be risky. Life is risky. 

Meagan: Life is risky. You’re not wrong there. There is risk everywhere. It’s just important to know the risk and then decide if that risk is acceptable to you. If that risk is acceptable to you, then great. Go for it. If not, that’s okay. 

Susana: It is worth every moment and every pain. Everything, it was worth it. 

Meagan: Yeah. Well, I’m so happy for you. Congrats again and thank you for being with us today and sharing a VBAC after five Cesareans story. 

Susana: Oh, thank you so much. I’m so happy and I hope that a lot of women hear this podcast and are inspired themselves. 

Closing

Would you like to be a guest on the podcast? Tell us about your experience at thevbaclink.com/share. For more information on all things VBAC including online and in-person VBAC classes, The VBAC Link blog, and Meagan’s bio, head over to thevbaclink.com. Congratulations on starting your journey of learning and discovery with The VBAC Link.

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“My birth stories are my testimony…I have never trusted God more with any situation in my entire life other than with the lives of my children and bringing them into this world.”

Shelby’s story is one of faith, trust, and surrendering. Shelby joins us today from Indiana sharing her wildly traumatic Cesarean story due to a placental abruption and her peaceful, healing home birth. 

Shelby was on vacation at a cabin in New York at 34 weeks when she woke up to regular contractions and heavy bleeding. She rushed to the nearest hospital, was put under general anesthesia for her Cesarean, was transferred via a separate ambulance from her baby to a hospital 3 hours away, and had a 23-day NICU stay in the height of COVID 800 miles away from her family and community.

She and her husband were certain they would not have any more children. But as they fought for healing through faith-based counseling, their hearts yearned for another baby and a chance at a healing birth experience. 

She completely surrendered, found holistic prenatal care, and created a birth space for herself where she knew she felt safe. She was brave and vulnerable, and her second birth was everything she hoped it would be. 

As Meagan says at the end of this episode, “Get educated. Love yourself. Have faith in you and your body and your baby. You are amazing. You are a true Woman of Strength.”

How to VBAC: The Ultimate Prep Course for Parents

Full Transcript under Episode Details 

Meagan: Women of Strength, we have our friend, Shelby, here with us today sharing her HBAC story. In addition to her HBAC story, she’s got some other unique things that I think are going to be important for us to talk about today. One is placental abruption. That is something that is definitely a reason for a Cesarean and one of those absolute needed reasons for a Cesarean. We are going to talk a little bit more about that and then we are going to talk about faith and how faith in whatever faith looks like to you, it’s so important to cling onto that. Shelby has some messages about that. 

Then we really want to talk about physiological birth. We hear it. We see it online. I mean, if you go on Instagram and you go into the birth world, you’re going to see it almost 100% guaranteed but what does that really mean? We’re going to be diving in with that today. 

Shelby, you are in– where did it say, Indiana? 

Shelby: Indiana, yeah. 

Meagan: I have to look at my notes. Indianapolis, Indiana. She’s in Indiana so Women of Strength, if you are coming from her area, definitely listen up as well. 

Okay, so we have a Review of the week and this is by birthing confident. It says, “Invaluable information. I love this podcast. As a mom planning a VBAC and a VBAC-trained birth doula, the information shared on this podcast is invaluable. I have become so passionate about helping all women know their birth options and avoid unnecessary C-sections. I think this podcast is great for all expectant mothers” and I 100% agree with that. 

This podcast is for anyone and everyone because like she said we are wanting to help people avoid unnecessary and/or undesired Cesareans. We have a ridiculous Cesarean rate. It is through the roof. I would love to see it start dropping and I don’t know if this podcast truly is going to impact the Cesarean rate the way I would love it to, but I do believe that it’s a starting point. It’s a starting place for you guys to learn your options for birth after Cesarean and to learn how to have a better Cesarean experience if you have one because that’s also a really important factor that I think a lot of people forget about. Not only do we share just VBAC stories, but we do share healing, beautiful CBAC stories and repeat Cesareans. 

Thank you so much, birthingconfident, for your review. As always, please if you haven’t yet, leave us a review. You can do so on Apple Podcasts. You can message us. You can rate us on Spotify and all of the places that you listen to your podcast. 

Meagan: Okay, cute Shelby. Welcome to the show. 

Shelby: Thank you. I’m so excited. 

Meagan: I am so excited. So let’s dive in. I am actually really excited to talk a little bit more about placental abruption as well and hear about your experience. 

Shelby: Yeah. I don’t think I even knew it was a thing honestly before it happened to me. I think it’s something that people don’t really talk about and it’s probably a good thing because it’s really scary but also, it would have been good to maybe know what was going on. I know it wouldn’t have changed the outcome, but yeah. I just had no idea that was even something that could happen. 

With my first pregnancy, it was very run-of-the-mill. Everything was good and I was planning on birthing at a birthing center in Indianapolis so I was still going for that natural, unmedicated birth. I didn’t really know anything that went into that as you do with your first and I feel like you do the typical making the baby registry and doing all of these things that don’t really actually help you with your birth. Not that I would have gotten the chance to even try anyway. 

I feel like I just definitely didn’t really have much knowledge and I think the problem is that you don’t know what you don’t know which is why I literally recommend this podcast to all of my friends who are even pregnant with their first baby because I’m like, “Just learn the things. Learn all of the things.” We took a very basic birthing course through the birthing center and it was just virtual, like four sessions and it was not super helpful honestly but we also didn’t get to implement it. 

The pregnancy itself was just very normal. I mean, I have pretty much all of the symptoms which is the worst like really horrible rib pain and nausea and heartburn and all of the things. What was crazy though, this was in 2021 and I actually got COVID while I was pregnant also. Everyone I’ve talked to thinks that’s probably why I had a placental abruption.

Meagan: That’s interesting to know. 

Shelby: Yeah. I had it in about my 5th month of pregnancy in September and I was due in January. It was horrible for a week but then I recovered and I was back to working out. I was totally fine. I didn’t have any blood pressure issues after that. Everything reallly seemed okay. 

We decided at 33 weeks that we were going to go to New York which is really far away from Indiana on vacation for Thanksgiving to gather with all of my husband’s family. My midwives cleared it. Like I said, I was working out. I was healthy. I was fine. 

The trip was going super well. I was working out while we were there. I was doing barre obviously so I was doing safe things. Fitness is a really big part of my life but also, it’s not something I added in during pregnancy. It was just normal for me. 

Meagan: I used to take barre too. I took barre and was teaching barre with my second TOLAC. It’s a very low impact but very, very good for strength and cardio. 

Shelby: Yeah, and my husband and my father-in-law were doing them with me so we have some really awesome videos of me at 34 weeks pregnant working out with my husband and my father-in-law doing barre. 

But yeah. Everything was going well and anything that was slightly risky which really even wasn’t, I wasn’t doing. They did this office chair floor hockey where they were pushing each other around in office chairs and playing hockey in a building and I didn’t do it. I sat on the sidelines and observed. I was being really what I feel like was cautious. 

Meagan: Responsible. 

Shelby: Right, yeah. We even took family pictures on Saturday and everything, I have pictures of us smiling and laughing and then literally the next day we had a baby which was crazy. 

I start having Braxton Hicks contractions at 20 weeks. For both of my pregnancies, I just feel like I start having them really early so they are not shocking for me. But that Saturday, I remember several times looking at my husband and being like, “These feel a little stronger than I remember them being,” but with your first, you don’t know anything. 

I kept mentioning that to him but they weren’t super regular and there were no other signs of anything, just Braxton Hicks contractions. Then that night when we went to bed, I couldn’t really sleep. I was laying there by myself the only one awake. 

We were all staying in this big cabin together which was great. My husband and I were in our room. At 4:00 AM– this is so funny to me now that I know what labor is actually like. At 4:00 AM, I started timing contractions and they were less than 5 minutes apart when I started timing them. I’m like, What was wrong with me?

So after an hour of them being like that, I woke my husband up and I was like, “I think you should go get your mom,” because she is actually a midwife which was good. 

Meagan: Oh, convenient. 

Shelby: She was in the room next to us. Yeah. I was like, “I think you should go get your mom because this is not right.” They were not just less than 5 minutes apart. They were pretty uncomfortable. She came over and checked things out. I know now that she definitely knew that something was going on but she was really good at keeping her cool. She was like, “Why don’t you go shower and try to relax?” 

When I went to go to the bathroom and shower, I started bleeding. Like I said, I knew nothing about labor, so I was like, “Oh, well maybe I am in labor” which was really scary because I was only 34 weeks but it was a lot of bleeding. I was like, “Well, I don’t know what’s normal,” but I know that obviously, my mother-in-law knew what was going on. 

She was like, “It’s okay. We’ll have Chad (my father-in-law) just go start the car and we’ll go in and get everything checked out.” So we were in the middle of the Adirondacks which is literally nowhere. We had a 25-minute drive to the nearest hospital and this hospital, I mean we were probably the only people there. It was 5:30 in the morning maybe. 

They didn’t have an OB there. They didn’t have a surgical team there. They were all at home so we come in and the front desk lady is like, “What’s your occupation?” She’s typing like a sloth. I was like, “Girlfriend, I am bleeding and I am in full-on labor. Can we just go inside?” 

So that was crazy. She’s asking me to sign stuff and I’m telling my husband, “You have to sign.” At this point, contractions were pretty back-to-back and they were super strong. I could tell I was bleeding with every one. I could feel it. 

They got me back into the ER and the poor nurse. I know that this was probably so scary for her, especially with an OB not even there but she was asking me, “Have you felt her move recently? I can’t find a heartbeat.” I was like, “I don’t know. I’m in labor. I don’t know if she’s moving or not.” Every time I’d have a contraction, she’d just be like, “Oh wow, that’s a lot of blood.” I’m like, “Thank you. I know.” 

Meagan: You’re like, “I can feel it.” 

Shelby: Yeah, it was wild. By the time the OB got there, she checked. She said I was fully dilated and effaced. 

Meagan: Holy cow. 

Shelby: This was maybe 2 hours. It was not long. Now that I’ve been through a full labor, I’m like, that is crazy. My body had to have just been in panic mode like, We have to get this baby out right now.

She checked and something that was kind of cool was I knew that my baby was head down. She had been from 20 weeks. She was perfectly always in the same spot because I could always feel her kicks really high and one of the times the OB checked, she goes, “Oh, and she’s breech so we’re just going to have to go.” I was like, “She’s not breech. Check again. She’s not breech.” 

She checked again and she was like, “Oh, you’re right.” I was like, “Yeah.” 

So the nurse brings in all of the scrubs and stuff for my husband to put on and as he’s getting dressed and everything, he’s fully ready to go. He’s all excited because he wasn’t really super scared. 

Meagan: He didn’t understand what was going on. 

Shelby: Yeah, but also, he’s like, “I’m going to meet my baby today. This is so cool.” And the literal most gut-wrenching thing of my life was when the OB was like, “No, we don’t have time. It’s going to be under general. You can’t come.” She wheeled me out of the room and I looked back and saw him standing there fully dressed just like yeah. It was awful. In that moment, I wasn’t even worried about myself and I wasn’t worried about the baby. I was just like, He’s going to be traumatized from this. This is horrible. 

They took me back there and I’m in labor holding onto the top of the bed. I was only in there probably for a minute, but it is scary. The whole room is white and there is somebody over here counting instruments. They stick a mask on your face and you can barely breathe and then the next thing you know you wake up in recovery. 

I woke up as the only person in this room. There were maybe two guys sitting at the desk but that was it. Nobody else was there. They didn’t say anything to me. Nobody told me if she was okay. I knew nothing. Yeah. I was just laying here. 

Eventually, my husband came in and he showed me pictures of her. He was like, “She’s okay. She’s on oxygen but she’s doing all right.” But yeah. It was totally crazy. 

Then they moved me to– I don’t even know. It probably wasn’t actually a postpartum room. I don’t even know if they have those at this hospital. I feel like they probably try to send everybody everywhere else. 

Then basically, they told me, “Hey, you have 10 minutes if you want to go see her and try to hold her before the ambulances get here to transfer you guys,” because there wasn’t a NICU there and they probably weren’t even– they couldn’t have cared for her. 

I think as soon as we got there, they must have called Albany Medical Center because it’s 3 hours away. She was born at 7:30 in the morning. I started timing contractions at 4:00 AM. We didn’t leave until after 5:00. The whole thing was so fast. 

I’m getting ready to get out of bed and get in a wheelchair to go see her and they didn’t warn me how much pain I would be in and they didn’t really help me get out of bed either. As I went to stand up, I leaned back a little and after you’ve had a C-section, I almost passed out. 

Meagan: Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. 

Shelby: Yeah, so I get in this wheelchair and I get in the room where she is. She’s got the oxygen mask on and she’s got all of these tubes and all of the things and you could tell in the pictures I was barely with it. What I remember bothering me the most is I had obviously been intubated so I felt like there was stuff in my throat because it was so swollen. My mouth was all dry and I got to hold her for a couple of minutes but it didn’t even feel real. 

Then the NICU team got there. She was on one ambulance and I was on a different one and my husband was in a car so we were all separated for 3 hours to Albany. Halfway there, my ambulance– so hers left first, and halfway there, we passed hers pulled over on the side of the road. I started panicking. 

There was no communication between the two ambulances. 

Meagan: Oh my heavens. I’m dying right now. 

Shelby: Yeah. The EMT, bless her heart, was amazing. She was like, “It could be anything. It could be one of the monitors isn’t hooked up right and they’re just stopping to do that or they need to change out an oxygen tank and they can’t do that while driving.” She helped me calm down a little bit. She probably shouldn’t have said this, but we got closer to Albany and she said, “We don’t need to panic.” I don’t remember if she actually said this but she said, “Unless they pass us again going fast.” 

I kid you not but we were 5 minutes out from the hospital and her ambulance went by us with lights and sirens on. I had maybe seen her for 10 minutes before this and she couldn’t contact the other ambulance. So just traumatizing, all of it. 

Thankfully, when we pulled into the hospital, the first thing that the guy on the baby’s ambulance did was come over and say, “Everything is okay.” It was just something. They had a lead or something come off so they needed to stop and take care of it so it wasn’t a big deal but it made it feel like a big deal. 

We are in New York still for all of this. We get in there and I have to get settled in the postpartum section and she has to get settled in the NICU and then finally, hours later, I was still bleeding a lot so they were trying to take care of that. They were doing the fundal rubs and I remember texting my mom and I was like, “If they do it again, I’m going to punch someone in the face,” because it was so awful. They were saying, “It’s because the EMT didn’t do them on the ride over that you are bleeding so much,” so they kept coming over and doing them. It was so awful. 

So then we had a 23-day NICU stay in New York, just my husband and I because no one else could even visit us because it was 2021 in New York which was pretty bad for COVID. Once I was discharged after 4 days, technically, the only visitors allowed were my husband and I with our NICU bracelets to see her. Even if they had someone come, they couldn’t even come into the hospital. We didn’t really want to leave the hospital because we wanted to be there with her. 

We were Ubering to Target. We didn’t have a car because we flew there. We are Ubering to Target and thank goodness they had a Ronald McDonald house there so we were staying there and they supplied a lot of dinners and housing which was the biggest blessing in the world. I literally don’t know what we would have done otherwise. 

Getting discharged without your baby is super horrible and she was only 4 pounds, 10 ounces so she was really little and nursing just never took off for us. I didn’t get to try for a while even because she was being tube-fed and she could barely stay awake because she was so tiny. Every nurse that you’d have would tell you their tips and tricks which is great but not helpful when every 3 hours you are being told something different. 

We tried so hard and eventually got to the point where it was like, “Let’s just get home. We are 800 miles from home and if it takes a bottle, that’s fine. We just need to get home.” Yeah. After 23 days, my amazing mom drove to New York because we didn’t even have a car seat. It was all at home. She picked us up and drove us back home. 

Meagan: Oh my gosh. 

Shelby: Yeah, so then you are coming home with this little 5-pound baby and you are like, “How are we even allowed to do this? She doesn’t even barely fit in the car seat.” 

It was so crazy. After that, we were really unsure if we’d have more kids. Especially right after, we were like, “I don’t know if we can do that again.” My husband and I always wanted lots of kids and a big family. That has always been something that we wanted so after that first experience– and you do a quick Google search of placental abruption and they say, “Once you’ve had one, it’s 15% more likely that you’ll have another one.”

You’re like, I can’t go through that again. That was horrible. I knew that if we got pregnant again, I was like, I’m going to feel like a ticking time bomb. All of these also quick Google searches tell you that it can happen as early as 20 weeks. Thank goodness we made it to 34 but I’m like, If that happens at 20, baby is probably not going to make it. 

Meagan: That’s a scary thought. That’s a really scary thought. They really have advanced the medical world so much to a point where even when babies are born really, really preemie, there are higher chances than there used to be, but the thought of that in general is just too much to think about. 

Shelby: Oh yeah, and my mom who drove to New York to get us– which is probably part of the reason they discharged us. She’s a NICU nurse so she actually knew how to feed this litle 5-pound baby who was still causing us feeding issues and all of the things, but I’ve obviously heard from her too the stories of the really early babies. I mean, even 29 weeks and I was like, It’s just too much. 

But we also knew that we couldn’t stay in that place because we both were not in a good place with it. My husband was obviously so traumatized for different reasons and I was too. It was just a lot. We started seeking out some faith-based counseling basically like spiritual reconciliationing kind of to work through it all because I knew even if we weren’t going to have more kids, I could not just live with that raw the way it was. 

Meagan: Both of you needed to process that. 

Shelby: Yeah. We were just praying for the release of that and we even prayed over our poor baby because I was like, She’s probably holding trauma from that too. The losses that I was experiencing were also losses for her. She missed out on the golden hour and a peaceful entry into this world. It would drive me crazy thinking that her first moments in this world were with people she didn’t know and it was bright in the room and being hooked up to machines. I was like, That was probably so scary for her too. 

We could tell for a long time, probably her first 7 months that she was so sensory. I mean, just screamed and hated the car seat, hated transitions, hated bedtime. I mean, it was basically non-stop screaming for 7 months. I was like, You were supposed to be in the womb for 6 more weeks and instead, you were in the NICU with lights and sounds and all of the things. 

We just started praying really hard over all of it and speaking to some really trusted friends who worked through trauma with people. I started listening to The VBAC Link. This is probably when it started obsessively. I was doing Amazon deliveries just for fun on the side. I could take the baby with me so I’d put her in her car seat. This was eventually when she stopped screaming in the car seat so it took a while. 

I would put my AirPods in and while I did all of these deliveries, I would just listen to back to back to back episodes forever and for months. I think honestly that was probably what started getting me thinking even about more kids. I started learning about VBACs and how really the odds of having a VBAC are not that horrible and that it’s really not any riskier than a second C-section and I was like, I really don’t want another C-section because that was– I mean, I couldn’t even roll over in bed by myself. 

My husband told me, “You don’t usually need me, but that was the one time you actually needed me.” He was like, “Honestly, that was really hard to see you in that much pain and struggling that much.” I was like, “Yeah. I couldn’t even pee by myself.” 

Meagan: Oh, I remember my husband literally helping with my second. He had to hold me up in the shower. I was like, “I just can’t stand the whole time in the shower. Can you just hold me up and shower me?” I remember feeling so vulnerable and I was frustrated because I’m like, This isn’t my personality. I’m very independent. Why is this happening? Yes. 

Shelby: Independent and strong. Yes. But also in my fashion, I was walking to the NICU by myself very slowly by day two. I’m like, What was wrong with me? But also, we didn’t have a choice. I was about to be discharged. We had to figure something out. Thankfully, I didn’t need to stay for 4 days, but because I had nowhere else to go, they were like, “You can stay all 4 days if you want.” I was like, “Okay, great.” 

But yeah, so I just started learning everything and consuming as much information as I could about physiological birth and about VBACs and there really isn’t a ton of information about placental abruption. There are risk factors which I had none other than COVID which no one talks about yet because it had just started, but I didn’t have high blood pressure. I obviously didn’t do drugs. 

Meagan: You didn’t have multiples. It was a singleton. Yeah. 

Shelby: It never happened before. My placenta was in a good location. 

Meagan: Your membranes hadn’t ruptured. 

Shelby: Yeah, my water never ruptured with her so it was crazy. But around when she was probably 9 or 10 months, I couldn’t even believe it, but I told my husband, “I’m not totally opposed to having another baby.”

He was like, “For real?” We talked about it and we prayed about it a lot and I told God over and over again, “If I get pregnant again, this is going to be the biggest test of my trust in You ever because I know that if I try to worry about it, I’m going to go crazy. If I try to control the outcome which I can’t, I’m going to go crazy.” 

So it basically was like, “If it happens, I’m just going to have to trust you with it fully. No holding back.” 

Actually, before we were even pregnant, started shopping around for providers. 

Meagan: That is key. That is so important. 

Shelby: Yeah. We do have one hospital locally that has midwives and birthing pools. I was like, “Okay, that sounds like a pretty good option for a VBAC.” We went to talk to them– well, I went by myself. I had my list of questions ready. I walked in ready to not take any crap because I also knew a lot about what they were probably going to say and they said, “Yeah.” First of all, they wouldn’t call it a VBAC of course because nobody wants to do that. 

Meagan: TOLAC.

Shelby: That was the first thing. I was like, “No. I’m going to do this.” Yeah, so they were like, “We’ll allow you to try.” I was like, “Okay.” They were boasting about their VBAC rates and it was 60%. It was not very high and I was like, “Umm, okay. That’s not that awesome, but all right.” 

They started listing off the things you have to do because I had all of these questions ready because I knew. So you have to have an IV hooked up. I was like, That’s annoying. I was like, “Can you at least have the hep lock?” They said, “Yeah, that would be fine.” Then they said, “But you have to have continuous monitoring.” I was like, “Okay. I really, really don’t want continuous monitoring,” and they try to make it sound better like, “Well, it’s waterproof and it’s mobile so you can still move around with it,” but I also knew about the statistics of continuous monitoring and how a lot of times they indicate things that aren’t actually an issue and then especially if you are a VBAC patient, they’re like, “Well, time for another C-section because baby’s heart rate is dropping.” 

Baby’s heart rate is supposed to fluctuate as they are descending. 

Meagan: Just like ours. 

Shelby: There was that and then they also said, “You can labor in the water, but VBACs aren’t allowed to push in the water.” I was like, “Doesn’t that defeat the purpose?” Especially if it’s a VBAC patient, we should be doing everything we can to ease the labor. Why would you make them get out right when they are feeling like they need to push? They were like, “Oh, well it makes the OBs uncomfortable.” I was like, “Well, the OBs aren’t delivering this baby so I don’t really care what makes the OBs uncomfortable.”

So they made me schedule out all of my prenatal appointments and I went to one of them but I told my husband, “I just don’t want to have to fight for it. I know I can. I know that I can go in there and say ‘No thank you’ and be confident in myself, but I don’t really want to.” So I had never ever even considered a home birth. I don’t even remember how, but we somehow heard about the only home birth midwife in our area and I scheduled an appointment with her. I didn’t even get established with her until I was 19 weeks. I pushed out the OB care for a really long time when we found out we were pregnant because I knew we didn’t really love them. 

So I just didn’t go for a long time. I felt like everything was good. I felt like I was pretty in tune with everything. But yeah, I skipped a little bit but when we got pregnant with our second, it was a lot more immediate where I started praying about it all like, Okay God. This is for You because You are the only one who knows how long this baby is going to gestate and you’re the only One who knows if it’s going to end how we hope it does. 

I started praying. This is something. I started praying really specific prayers. I believe that God cares even about the little things which really aren’t little things in this, but I prayed that my placenta would be in a good spot and I prayed that my placenta would be strong and that it would make it all the way to term and I prayed that this baby would make it all the way to term. Literally every little concern I had, I pretty much sat in the shower every day and just spoke it aloud. I was like, God, I know that You are a God of healing and restoration and I know that You can do that for me. 

I believed that through this birth, He was going to heal the trauma from our first because I was like, that feels like this is how it has to go at this point. 

We went and we met this midwife. She didn’t doubt for a second. She didn’t say anything that was like, “I’ll let you try.” She was like, “You sound like a perfect candidate for a VBAC.” I told her that I had COVID and she was like, “Well, that’s probably why your placenta ruptured.” She told me that the placentas she had seen throughout COVID and recently, she was like, “They are not healthy and they are not sustaining a lot of them until the end of pregnancy or if they are, they don’t look good by the time they get there.” She wasn’t surprised. 

But yeah, she said, “You sound like a perfect candidate. I think you can do this.” At every appointment with her, we’d sit there for an hour and we’d talk and she totally respected all of my wishes. She’d ask me if I wanted to do something. I’d ask her for information and then she’d let me decide either way which was cool too. 

With our second pregnancy, we didn’t use a Doppler until I was in labor. I could feel her moving first of all so I knew that she was well but we actually started using a fetoscope which was really cool. You can’t start using it until after 20 weeks so we had to wait for a really long time to hear her heartbeat but our toddler would watch us do it too. It was really cute because she would walk around with this fetoscope around her neck and she would go put it on daddy’s belly and say, “I’m listening to Daddy’s baby,” or she’d put it on her belly and it was really sweet. 

Yeah, we took a full 180 with this pregnancy. I had learned so much at this point that I was so confident in my body and in my instincts and all of it. We didn’t find out the gender which with our first one, we found out at 8 weeks with the blood test. We didn’t find out gender. I didn’t do much prenatal care. We didn’t do genetic screening anyway with the first one either because that didn’t really matter to us. 

But yeah, I didn’t even do an ultrasound until we were 32 weeks or something. We waited a long time because I had learned a lot about ultrasounds and how we actually don’t know as much about them as we might think we know. 

Meagan: Might think we know. Yeah. 

Shelby: I read about how sometimes the techs are like, “Oh, they’re moving away from it,” because they can feel it and I’m like, “We’re not going to do that.” We waited and just had the technician who worked in our midwife’s office which was perfect because we could tell her we wanted a very minimal one just to check basically the heart and vital organs and the brain to make sure everything was okay. 

She would pause the screen and take the measurement she needed and take the Doppler off and everything so it was very minimal. I was like, “I don’t really care if they have 10 fingers and toes. We’ll figure that out later. Just check the important stuff. Don’t tell us the gender.” We did that and she basically was like, “Everything from as far as I can tell looks good.” That was pretty much all we did. 

My lifestyle was still very active and I was eating as best as I could. I didn’t really feel like I had anything that was anything of concern which was perfect. I remember at my 30-week appointment, my midwife looked at me. We hadn’t really talked about specific expectations I think for the birth because I didn’t really know what I needed or what I wanted but she looked at me at my 30-week appointment without prompting and said, “I think what you really need from me in this birth is for me to just be there and for you to just do your thing.”

Meagan: I love that. 

Shelby: I was like, “That’s actually perfect. That’s exactly what I want,” because at that point, I had listened to hundreds of birth stories and watched hundreds of birth videos and shown them all to my husband. Everything I was learning, obviously I was soaking it in but if there was anything I felt was pertinent to me, I was showing to him too. He really benefited from that because we went into birth also with him not being afraid. He would watch birth videos with me and he’d be like, “Wow, that’s amazing.” 

That’s one of my things. Knowledge is power and educate your husbands too or whoever is going to be with you at your birth. Physiological birth especially, they should be comfortable with it. They should know what it looks like and how it progresses and how to best support you in that. 

That was huge for us. I made him watch a lot of birth videos and he wasn’t even weirded with it by the time it came around. But yeah. 

She said that and I was like, “Yeah, you know, that sounds great.” 

We made it all the way to 40 weeks and I just felt completely at peace the whole time. I wasn’t worried and I was like, “She’s going to come when she’s going to come.” Another thing they had told me at the hospital was, “We only let VBACs go to 41 weeks and once you go past 41 weeks, you have to have a C-section.” I was like, “I’m not going to do that. I don’t even know what my typical gestation is because I haven’t made it term.”

Meagan: I was going to say, you didn’t even make it to 40 weeks. 

Shelby: Yeah, so my midwife was like, “Well, if you get to 42 weeks, we’ll do an ultrasound and make sure everything is okay,” but she wasn’t putting a timeline on it which was so great. I did a lot of courses. I stay at home with my daughters so I just listened to a lot of courses. I did the Christian HypnoBirthing one, our midwives did a course. It was really cool. They got us all together at one of their houses and went through a course with us and our spouses with all the moms who were about to have babies. 

I also did the Free Birth Society course which I was kind of so/so on but I was like, “If I want to know how to home birth, I just want to know about everything. I want to know about the complications that could happen and what you should do in those situations,” so even though I wasn’t planning to free birth, I still wanted to learn all of the things. That was one of the things that I did and I was just listening to constant everything. 

When we made it to– I guess it was two days before my due date, so July 29, I was having fairly consistent contractions in the evening and so we were all excited. We’re timing them and we were texting our moms but then they stopped the next morning which was a Sunday before church so we were getting ready to go to church but then I lost my mucus plug in the shower. I was like, “Okay, just in case something is going to happen, we should probably watch online.” 

We stayed home, watched online, and nothing was happening all day. We knew that we shouldn’t get our hopes up but also you make it that far and you’re like, “I’m just ready.” Our church had a picnic that night at a local water park so I was like, “Well, nothing has happened all day. We might as well go because we didn’t go to church.” 

We went to this picnic and we were doing the mini playground with our 1-year-old at the time who is water crazy. I think I jumped to get into one of the tubes and felt something kind of funny then around 8:30 PM, I had a really strong contraction. I was like, “Okay. That was unusual.” I went to the bathroom and had bloody show so I went back out and got my husband. I was like, “We’ve got to go home.” On the drive home, contractions were 8-10 minutes apart. I showered and we called the midwife and our photographer and my mom and grandma who were coming to get my daughter and the dogs because we didn’t know how it would go so we didn’t want anybody else there who needed care obviously. 

Meagan: Well and your last labor was actually pretty dang fast. 

Shelby: Right, yeah so I was like, “I don’t know how this is going to go.” My mom came and helped us clean up the kitchen which is where we were going to put the pool and everything. The midwife and her student arrived at around 10:30 PM. At this point, I was between the coffee table and the couch on my knees holding a comb and my husband was pushing on my back. 

I labored just in that one position for a long time and that felt as okay as it can feel. Then at around midnight, the midwife heard one of my contractions and was like, “That one sounded a little different. Let’s get in the pool.” 

So I got into the pool and that was instant relief. I was able to sit between contractions and try to relax then after a little while, I was too afraid to feel. We did zero cervical checks. I didn’t want to know. I was like, I just want to go. After a while, it was so cool how in tune she was with it all. She goes, “Why don’t you see if you can feel your baby’s head?” I was like, “Are you serious?” 

So I reached up and I could feel her head. I was like, “Okay. That gave me a little bit of encouragement to keep going.” I would say probably about an hour after I got into the water, my body started pushing. I didn’t push voluntarily once. It was wild. I felt something at one point. We were about to change positions again. I had been in the tub for a little while and they were getting the bedroom ready. I was like, “Hold on, something just happened.” I reached down and a big hand-sized bulge of my amniotic sac was sticking out still full of fluid.

Meagan: Yeah, I’ve seen that. It’s so cool. 

Shelby: I told my husband, “Do you want to feel it?” 

Meagan: It’s like a water balloon sticking out of your vagina. 

Shelby: Yeah, then the midwife was like, “Okay, we’re not going to move. We’re going to stay here. Obviously this position is good.” I held a comb in my hand the whole time and I had my husband push on my back because with both labors, I have had total back labor. I don’t know why. I just have. 

I mean, she said I pushed for less than 40 minutes which was crazy. I felt her head come out but we didn’t know it was a girl yet so that was fun and then I tried to slow down because I knew that sometimes you need a push or a contraction between and you don’t want to get pushed too hard and tear but I couldn’t. My body literally just pushed her all the way out in one push. That fetal ejection reflex is definitely a thing. 

So at 2:14 AM was when she was born and my first contraction was at 8:30 PM. I caught her by myself in the water and pulled her up. She had her cord on like a backpack. It was around both arms and her neck so I had her head out of the water but I could barely get her up. The midwife came over and untangled her and I mean, my husband and I just sat there for probably over 5 minutes before we even checked what the gender was because we were just in awe. We didn’t even care. We were like, “Whatever. It’s fine either way.” 

So when we finally looked, we saw it was our girl and we already had a name picked out, Elowen Ruth so we got to hold her for a long time but obviously, my midwife could tell that I was bleeding a lot so she had me get out and I had planned not obviously to do Pitocin unless I really needed it especially before baby was born but it was a lot of bleeding. I tried one of our tinctures first and it didn’t really slow it down. So we did some Pitocin. 

She just did it. I didn’t even notice. I was sitting there holding my baby and I was like, “You can’t make this moment not perfect.” So we did some Pitocin and delivered the placenta. Then we went out and just sat on the couch and my husband made a snack plate and we all– the photographer and the midwife and her student and my husband and I just sat there talking about the birth and eating snacks.

Then after a while, my husband got to hold her while I got cleaned up. I did end up having a lot of bleeding.

Meagan: I was just going to ask if the bleeding resolved or did it continue?

Shelby: I mean, it stopped pretty well. I didn’t end up having to go get checked, but about a week later, my mom and when I took the baby into her first appointment at our nurse practitioner, I wasn’t even there for me and she was like, “We are running iron labs on you because you look super pale.” I was really anemic and we didn’t know so I think that probably was something. Now I know for the future, if I have a lot of bleeding again, I need to get it checked out really fast because I think it really slowed down my healing. 

Other than the initial pain of a C-section, my vaginal birth recovery was much more difficult. I could barely walk or stand for 4 weeks. I could not believe it. I remember going to my appointment and I was like, “Is this normal?” The birth went so well. I know it was fast but I think it was because my iron was so low. My body just couldn’t heal. I did end up having a little bit of tearing but we didn’t stitch it or anything. It healed pretty well on its own. It was super painful when I would have to pee and all of the things but eventually, it healed up on its own. 

But yeah. I mean, we got to sleep in our own bed. Well, I mean, the husband and the baby got to sleep. I could not. That high we were on, my midwife told me, she was like, “Okay. She’s probably going to sleep for the next 5 or 6 hours and you should try to also.” I laid there and I was like, “There is no sleeping. There is none.” 

After that, she’s like, “It’s time to nurse 24/7.” 

Meagan: Of course. 

Shelby: She’s 9 months today and we are still breastfeeding which is huge because with my first, I exclusively pumped for 8.5 months and that was so hard. I was so determined. I also took breastfeeding courses leading up to this baby because I was like, “We are going to make this work because I do not want to pump again.” I love nursing. I have to leave for an Army training here in a couple of weeks and I’m planning to take her with me and still nurse her at night time. I’m like, “We’re going to make this go as long as we can.” 

Yeah, I mean, it was wild but so good. 

Meagan: Wild but amazing. 

Shelby: Yeah. 

Meagan: Did you find it healing? Because sometimes I feel like when you have a harder postpartum where you’re like, “I’m not walking as well and I’m feeling gross with the iron,” that can be defeating and frustrating. But did you find that healing or were you like, “I would still take this over the other?” 

Shelby: Oh absolutely. I mean, I definitely had times where I would just break down not only because of the hormones but everything else. With my husband, I’d be like, “I did it. Why is this so hard?” I had prepared for postpartum. I made sure we had help lined up for our daughter and for meals and for everything so I was really able to take the time I needed. I think if I hadn’t done that, I don’t know what would have happened honestly because I needed it. I couldn’t even sit on the couch. 

I had to be laying down in the bed or I was in pain. 

Meagan: Dang. 

Shelby: I think preparing for it definitely helped and the birth itself made it all worth it. Now, I’m like, Yeah, that was really hard for a couple of weeks but that experience made up for it for sure. 

Meagan: Worth it. 

Shelby: Overall, with the recovery, I’m like, Man, that was really hard with the C-section. it was two really hard days with the C-section but everyday is a little better. With my vaginal birth, I was like, Man, everyday is gettig worse. It’s hurting more. 

But it was still really good. 

Meagan: What was it that was in pain? Was it your pelvic floor? Was it your abdomen? 

Shelby: It was probably my pelvic floor honestly and also because I think I had torn and she came so fast and there was no slow stretching, I mean– 

Meagan: Fetal ejection. 

Shelby: From the first one, it was crazy. I think it really was pelvic floor. I remember one of my friends describing it as she just felt heavy. I was like, “Yes. That is what it is.” It just felt heavy and it ached. Yeah. That was hard. I mean, even being in the shower didn’t fix it and that was how my husband and I had planned to bond postpartum was showers together and stuff and I would be in there and I’m like, “I cannot stand up. I have to go back to bed.” 

Meagan: Too much pressure. 

Shelby: Yeah, for sure. 

Meagan: That makes sense. Okay, so let’s talk about faith and getting yourself through a really, really rough first birth and you finding that faith. Do you have any advice for the listeners to gain faith in their ability?

Shelby: Yeah. I mean, for me it was just knowing that God created my body to do this. No matter what had already happened, my body knew how to birth. I think what helped was I was like, Okay, it’s already gotten fully dilated and effaced in my first labor. Maybe not gradually or the way it should have, but I was like, I’ve kind of already done it. 

I didn’t get to the pushing but just knowing that I was designed to do it and through a lot of prayer and speaking and speaking, “God, you created me to do this. You gave me this baby to grow and to birth,” and just the knowledge is the same thing. Learning about how your body was made to do this is just huge and like I said, just praying those specific prayers for me was so important and proclaiming the promises that God has that He is a healer and a redeemer and He cares about our birth stories. He totally does. That was part of His plan from the beginning. 

I think for me personally, my birth stories are my testimony. I feel like until these two babies, I really was like, Oh, I grew up in the church and I don’t really have a cool story which is fine but also with these babies, I’m like, I have never trusted God more with any situation in my entire life other than with the life of my children and bringing them into this world. 

For me, that was something I didn’t really realize until recently too. That same friend was like, “I think this is your testimony.” I was like, “You’re so right.” 

Meagan: That’s cool. 

Shelby: It totally brought beauty from the whole experience. From the first one, you are like, Why in the world did this happen to me? What good could possibly come of this? We’re traumatized. My baby is having sensory overload and I’m not at home. It was all of these things and then realizing that I shared about my story and I was able to connect with so many other moms who were like, “I had an emergency C-section” or “I had a really scary birth story” and now when I hear that a mom had a baby, my first thought is, How did her birth go and how is she doing? Did it go the way she planned and is she hurting? Those are my first thoughts instead of, Oh, is the baby okay? Okay, the baby is okay. 

It’s made me really passionate about postpartum moms and at some point, I’d love to do something with that not while I have a 9-month-old and a 2-year-old but just knowing that there can be beauty that comes out of every story because in the moment, it totally did not feel like it with our first baby. 

Meagan: Right, yeah. That is the case a lot of the time. It feels like there is no beauty at all anywhere in that story and then you go and you listen to these stories and there is beauty in every single story and growth in every single story. There is learning. I think there is just so much to take from these stories. 

Then I wanted to go over physiological birth. There’s a women and infant’s blog or website and it says, “A normal physiological birth and birth are defined globally by midwife organizations as a birth that is powered by the innate human capacity of the birthing person and fetus.” The innate human capacity. “This means that there are no interventions performed that disrupt the normal physiological process in the absence of complications that warrant interventions supporting the physiological process of labor and birth has the potential to enhance birth outcomes and experiences.”

I do believe so wholeheartedly that there are sometimes here. You had a real thing happening, a real medical–

Shelby: Right. Thank goodness for the medical system in that situation, you know?

Meagan: Yes. Thank goodness for intervention in that situation but that doesn’t mean that we always have to just get all handsy with birth. It does show the benefits of supporting and fostering physiological birth of individuals include reduced Cesareans, increased breastfeeding success, improved birth experience, and reduced cost of care. 

Now, this world is very cost-minded especially with insurance and all of those things, but in the end, if you look at the reduced amount of money that we are spending when we are not paying for all of the interventions that happen during birth– and they don’t always happen. We know that this is not a blank statement where it’s like, “Every birth ends this way,” but usually when there’s one, there are more. That adds up. Right? 

In the end, it’s like, is that experience worth another experience? Even if you’re in the hospital, you do not– you can totally have a physiological birth in a hospital. I love that so much. Some people don’t feel safe out of the hospital. 

Shelby: Right. That’s physiological birth. The key is being where you are safe because your body cannot progress as it needs to if it doesn’t feel safe. I majored in animal science and I think about how animals won’t have their babies if they don’t feel safe. I think that we are mammals and our bodies are the same way. If you feel safest at home, awesome. If you feel safest in the hospital where you know you can get care right away, awesome. Yeah. You definitely just have to make that decision for yourself. 

Meagan: Yeah. I had a client who really wanted a home birth really, really badly. She decided not to, but decided to labor at home as long as possible and she was laboring and she was laboring and she was laboring and I was like, This labor. Something is off. Something is off. It was going but it wasn’t really going and through chatting with her and doing a fear-clearing and fear-release to see if we could get over to that next stage, she never said, “I want to go to the hospital.” She didn’t say those words but everything else that she was saying to me, that’s what I heard. 

I said, “Why don’t we go to the hospital? If we end up coming back home, that’s okay but let’s go and let’s just see how things are going.” She was like, “I don’t know,” because she was steering off of her plan in her mind of laboring at home. I said, “Okay, cool. It’s going to be your decision.” About 25 minutes later, she was like, “Yeah, let’s do it.” I’m not kidding you. The second she got into that car, it was a game changer. 

Shelby: Oh my gosh. 

Meagan: Because her mind was like, I’m going. She immediately felt better and safe. She didn’t realize that’s where she felt safer. We went. We had a total physiological birth. In fact, we didn’t know if we were going to make it. She had the baby on the bed and the doctor was not there. 

Shelby: There’s so much mental work that goes into it and everything. For me, knowing that I was going to my house. I hate packing and knowing I didn’t have to leave and go somewhere, that was how I felt safe but I know a lot of people who are like, “No, I want to be in the hospital.” I’m like, “Great. Do it. Just make sure you are informed.” 

Meagan: Make sure you are informed. That is the ending tidbit here to this story. Be informed. Take a VBAC class. We have our VBAC class online. If you have any questions online, you can always email us on Instagram or in our email at [email protected]. Hire a doula if you can. Hire a provider that you really, really trust to support you. Find that birthing location. Get the information. Learn what is important to you because what’s important to you is going to stand out that day that you are in labor. 

Get educated. Love yourself. Have faith in you and your body and your baby. You are amazing. You are a true Woman of Strength. 

Shelby: Yes. So good. Thank you so much. 

Meagan: Thank you. 

Closing

Would you like to be a guest on the podcast? Tell us about your experience at thevbaclink.com/share. For more information on all things VBAC including online and in-person VBAC classes, The VBAC Link blog, and Meagan’s bio, head over to thevbaclink.com. Congratulations on starting your journey of learning and discovery with The VBAC Link.

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Women of Strength, so many things are important to know during your VBAC. 

Meagan Heaton is flying solo today telling you how to get the most out of what The VBAC Link offers. She goes through all of the resources from the Parents’ Course to the Doula Training to The VBAC Link Community and CBAC Community Facebook groups to blogs, newsletter emails, Instagram Q&As, and more. 

What do you need to know to have a better birth after an unexpected or difficult Cesarean? What is included in The VBAC Link Parents’ Course?

While all of the information can be compiled and found through our hundreds of podcast episodes, blogs, and social media posts, the course is concise and comprehensive to have quick access to it all including: 

• The history of Cesarean and VBAC
• Preparing your mind and body for VBAC
• Evidence-based stats on uterine rupture and more
• How to find a supportive provider 
• How to choose between a repeat Cesarean and a VBAC
• VBAC after multiple Cesareans
• Coping tools during labor 
• Family-centered Cesareans
• Risks, benefits, and alternatives of interventions
• How to avoid an unnecessary Cesarean
• When a Cesarean is necessary

The VBAC Link Doula Directory

The VBAC Link Community Facebook Group

CBAC Support Facebook Group

How to VBAC: The Ultimate Prep Course for Parents

The VBAC Link Doula Training

Full Transcript under Episode Details 

Meagan: Hey guys, this is Meagan today and I am solo. I don’t have a VBAC story coming your way today but I wanted to talk a little bit more about VBAC and what we need to know and what we need to do to prepare. If you’ve heard my own personal stories on the episodes a while ago, I think they are number two, go check it out. If you haven’t heard my VBA2C story, go check it out but during my journey, I’ve talked about how I felt alone in my journey. 

I had a couple of people within my space who were definitely cheering me on and my rocks, but the majority of the people in my life were very, very skeptical or judgmental or honestly just ignored me. That’s what would happen. I could tell people didn’t support or like the idea of me having a vaginal birth so they would just ignore me. 

Today, I wanted to talk a little bit more about the things that I did and then the things that Julie and I as we were writing our VBAC Prep Course were really truly the most important things that you should know. I want to talk a little bit more about what’s in our course and how you can prepare. 

I’m going to do that but I am going to share a Review of the Week. It feels weird to not be having somebody come on after but I’m going to share a Review of the Week and then I’m going to go into it a little bit more about what I did to prepare. 

This review is actually on our ultimate prep course. It says, “This course gave me the knowledge and confidence I needed to move forward with my plan to have an HBAC. When you realize VBAC is just birth and you hear the studies and the insights, they eliminate the myths that invoke a lot of the fear in C-section mamas, you realize you’ve totally got this. I was empowered to find a provider who truly supported me and realized how much my gut was telling me my previous provider was not the way to go. I can’t wait to share my HBAC story when the time comes. Thank you so much for all you do.” 

Okay, so going right into that, you guys. Like I said, when I was preparing, I did feel really alone. Number one, I think in preparing is finding that provider. Really truly, find that solid provider as soon as you can. We’ve talked about it here on the podcast that I suggest even finding a provider before you become pregnant because there is just this different thing about it where you’re not as vulnerable. You don’t feel as rushed. You feel more confident in your decision earlier on because you’re not feeling that rushed feeling. So sometimes I think we can choose a provider who seems kind of VBAC supportive but maybe isn’t as VBAC supportive as we would like, but we just choose them because we are pregnant and we need to start care. 

Find a provider for sure but something that we haven’t really talked about is finding your support system within your own circle. If that means that people in your family aren’t supportive, it’s such a hard line because you don’t want to just put your family aside, but at the same time, it’s really not going to benefit you if you have people within your circle bringing negative comments and opinions. 

I wanted to share one of the experience where I finally felt like I could share my desire. We were at a luncheon with my family members and someone asked me, “Where are you birthing or when are you having your baby?” I just said, “I am looking at possibly birthing out of a hospital.” Someone in my family turned to me and said, “No. You can’t do that.” I immediately felt defensive and adrenaline running through my body. I just wanted to say, “Whoa, whoa. Who are you to tell me I can’t do that?” Because at that point, I had really done so much research and decided that I was pretty comfortable with any risk of giving birth out of the hospital. 

I also had come up with a plan for if anything were to change to have a hospital plan as well. I felt very confident. I just looked at her and said, “Okay.” I just ignored it. But I quickly realized that that was not the space that I was going to be able to freely talk about my feelings and my desires because people just didn’t support it. 

Looking back, it really was that they just didn’t know. There are so many people out there even to this day in 2024 when I’m talking to people about birth stories and what I do, they say, “Wait. That’s a thing?” Still, in 2024, people do not know that vaginal birth after Cesarean is an option. That’s where it’s concerning. It’s just that so many people do not know. 

It is up to us to find that education but I felt like at that moment, I wasn’t in a place that I wanted to try and educate them because they were already coming at me so strongly and they already had their opinion formed. 

I also had some friends who I think were falling in line of a VBAC-supportive versus VBAC-tolerant or friendly provider where they were like, “Okay, yeah. You go do that Meagan,” but in their minds, they probably thought, “She’s crazy and I don’t think this is going to happen for her.” That was hard because I definitely felt that. I felt that feeling of, “You’re definitely not in my circle either.” Quickly, I really found that I needed to find that support. I encourage you to find that support within your own circle that is filled with people who are going to lift you up, build you up, and really truly support you along your journey. 

All right. We find the provider. We find our support system. Now we have to educate. 

What is really, really important or what was really important and is important for us as parents to get the education? We wrote this whole course. It’s over 100 pages in the manual and so amazing. Obviously, I love it to pieces but I wanted to go over a little bit more of what is included because we often do get questions about one, what’s included in your course and two, what do I really need to know? So let’s talk about it. 

In our parents’ course, the very first section is preparing your mind and body. You guys, we have to prepare our mind and body. I think this really does go into finding that support because as we are preparing, we have to have that support surrounding us and building us up because as we are mentally going through this, there are a lot of back and forth, Should I? Should I not? Should I? Should I not? Is it worth it? Is it not worth it? 

Mental preparation– we need to mentally prepare ourselves for birth whether you are going medicated, unmedicated, or whatever. Maybe you don’t even know what you want yet. Mentally preparing ourselves is so important. That really starts with honestly processing the past. Let’s process those past births. Even if you don’t think you processed that as a traumatic experience, you never know what may come up that may not be described as traumatic, but less ideal and something that offers tension. 

We also want to do physical preparation. Physical preparation is something that I am very, very passionate about because with my second baby– so with my first baby that I wanted to have a VBAC with– I really dove headfirst into physical prep. I believe that changed so much for me within my recovery, my pregnancy, and really just everything. Even though I had a C-section, I feel like I was able to “bounce back” both mentally and physically faster. 

Hydration was huge. I did not hydrate enough with my first. I was borderline preeclamptic. I never tested positive for it but I was swollen beyond swollen and I gained so much weight. I just really wasn’t as healthy. Hydration. Make sure you are hydrating. Watch what you are eating. Be mindful of what you are eating. Really get your protein in and your vegetables. Eat colorful foods and really take those good supplements. I know that there are so many, so many supplements out there and we really truly believe in Needed and their supplements so much. 

Get on a good prenatal. Make sure you are getting that protein in and if you need extra protein because it is hard to get protein in, get some collagen protein. That will help so much. Try to focus on exercise. If you didn’t exercise before, it doesn’t mean you have to just go an run a marathon. We’ve talked about this with MamasteFit. Just staying active, moving your body, walking, and if you can incorporate lifting weights, that’s great too but really being mindful in our physical and mental prep is so important. 

And then along the rest of the course, we are going to be going over things like the VBAC and Cesarean history. You guys, that is such a fascinating thing if you haven’t dove into that. It is kind of complex. There’s a lot to it and we really wanted to make sure that we brought it into an easier way to digest but really understanding the history of VBAC and the history of Cesarean and where we are today. We talk about women of color and the reasons for Cesarean and uterine rupture. Repeat Cesareans versus VBAC and what are the pros and cons? Because there are pros and cons to both. 

We are going to talk about the annoying calculator. Have you ever had a provider come to your visit in your prenatal room and say, “Okay, let’s talk about your previous Cesarean,” then typing things into their computer and tell you, “Oh, you have x% change of having a VBAC?” That’s the VBAC calculator and if you have been with us for a while, you know that we can’t stand it but it’s there and it happens and so we really want to educate you on that calculator because when we are given a percentage, it can impact. 

Women are told anything just like I was told in my second C-section that he was so glad I didn’t have a VBAC because I for sure would have ruptured. You guys, those things stick with us so when we get these weird numbers, they stick with us and they place doubt and fear. 

We’re going to talk about special circumstances. We’re going to talk about what ACOG says. That is a U.S.-based recommendation, but we are going to go over it because we really do look at the evidence that ACOG does provide. We’re going to talk about the contraindications of VBAC– when VBAC is safe and when it is not. 

We’re going to talk about providers and locations and hiring a doula. P.S., if you are looking for a doula, you guys, we have so many incredible doulas. You can go to the www.thevbaclink/findadoula and type in your state and area and it will pull up all of the VBAC doulas near you. We highly suggest a doula and if you can’t hire a doula, that’s okay too but we’re also going to talk about how to essentially get through birth without one as well. We’re going to talk about all of the benefits and risks and alternatives and assessing interventions. We know that there are lots of them.

Sometimes there are interventions like stripping our membranes, or the stretch and sweep or scraping our membranes. Everybody calls it something different but even that, sometimes it’s not viewed as an intervention because we’re not putting something in an IV or something like that, but even those are interventions. We’re going to talk about the pros and the cons. 

We’re going to talk about when you are due. What does that mean? What does that 40-week mark mean? Does it mean you have to have a baby right now? First of all, no. It doesn’t. But we’re going to talk about what that means and what the evidence shows about going over your due date and the chances of even going into labor before your due date or on your due date. We’re going to be talking all about that. 

We’re also going to be talking about VBAC epidurals. A lot of people contact us saying, “Oh my gosh. I want to have a VBAC. My provider says I have to have an epidural and I don’t really want to because I’m worried about what it’s going to do or if it’s going to impact my labor.” Or we have the opposite where they are like, “I actually want an epidural. I don’t really want to go unmedicated but my provider is saying I can’t have one.” So we’re going to talk about that. 

We’re going to talk about laboring and positions and coping and tools to have a really amazing, positive experience. We’re going to talk about fetal positioning and how that can impact it. We know that that is one of the biggest reasons why Cesareans happen. Fetal positioning, failure to progress, failure to descend— those all three kind of go hand-in-hand. We want to talk about that more. 

We want to talk about uterine rupture and the signs of uterine rupture. We’re going to talk about C-sections and how to create a family-centered Cesarean. There are so many people in our community who after learning about VBAC and the risks of both, the VBAC risk is still not acceptable to them and that is okay. 

Or we know that a lot of people go in and they have a TOLAC or they are going to VBAC and then end in a repeat Cesarean so let’s talk about how to help these Cesareans be better experiences. 

You guys, and recovery. There are so many things that are so important to know during your VBAC. 

Then I want to just drop this little note right now that although we are doing all of these amazing things to prepare and understand and to get tools to navigate through our VBAC journey, we have to remember to not forget the postpartum experience. Women of Strength, it’s so important to make sure that we are cared for during postpartum. The way the world works today, it’s just not happening enough. We are getting right back into the busy hustle and bustle. We’ve got multiple kids. Work is not supporting paid time off so we are just getting right back into life, just life, and it is so important to take care of ourselves postpartum.

If you haven’t been to thevbaclink.com, if you’ve only been here with us on the podcast, one, I’m so glad that you are here, but two, I highly suggest checking out thevbaclink.com. We have blogs that are amazing. We have so many blogs on so many topics– on ECV, on breech, on VBAC after multiple Cesareans. We have VBAC doulas, stats on VBAC doulas or just doulas in general. 

We obviously have our Find a VBAC Doula Directory. We have a VBAC Resource page filled with so many things and so much more. I highly, highly suggest checking out thevbaclink.com. Another place where you can find love and support is through our Facebook community at The VBAC Link Community. Answer all of our questions and we’ll get you in there so you can be surrounded by so many like-minded people that are really just wanted to know similar information to you and wanting to feel supported just like you are. 

We know that our family and our friends sometimes really aren’t those people and that’s okay. We love them, but this group is so solid. It’s so amazing. I can just feel the love every time I’m in it. I’m just blown away. I’m so stinking in love with this group. Check it out at The VBAC Link Community on Facebook. You can also follow us on Instagram. We are constantly giving out tips and suggestions and referrals. We have our Q and A’s every single week so you can check that out. You can go into our highlights and check out the past Q and A’s. We try to make sure to get all of them in there so you can go look at frequently asked questions and the answers as well as all of the sites and recommendations. 

Women of Strength, I hope that through this podcast, even though it is short and sweet and you just have me today, that you feel like you know more of what The VBAC Link offers and what you can get from us. We love you so much, so, so, so much and we want the best for you. We love to support and love and educate. 

With all that being said, I’m going to let you go and wish you the best of luck. I will be hoping to see you guys in the community. If you ever have any questions and you’d like to write us personally, you can reach out to us at [email protected]. Again, that is [email protected] and we will make sure to get back to you. Love you all and we’ll see you later. 

Closing

Would you like to be a guest on the podcast? Tell us about your experience at thevbaclink.com/share. For more information on all things VBAC including online and in-person VBAC classes, The VBAC Link blog, and Meagan’s bio, head over to thevbaclink.com. Congratulations on starting your journey of learning and discovery with The VBAC Link.

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In this episode of “The VBAC Link Podcast,” Meagan is joined by Lauren from Alabama. Lauren’s first birth was a Cesarean due to breech presentation where she really wasn’t given any alternative options. Her second was a VBAC with a head-down baby, and her third was a breech VBAC with a provider who was not only supportive but advocated on her behalf!

Though each of her births had twists and turns including PROM, the urge to push before complete, frequent contractions early on, and NICU time, Lauren is a great example of the power that comes from being an active decision maker in birth. She evaluated pros and cons and assumed the risks she was comfortable with. 

Thank you, Lauren, for your courage and vulnerability in sharing not only your birth stories with us but also your incredible birth video!

Lauren's YouTube Channel

Cleveland Clinic Breech Article

The VBAC Link Blog: ECV Explained

Needed Website

How to VBAC: The Ultimate Prep Course for Parents

Full Transcript under Episode Details 

Meagan: Hello, Women of Strength. If you have ever wondered if a breech vaginal birth or a breech VBAC is possible, let me just tell you right now, the answer is yes and our friend Lauren today is going to share her story to confirm that it is 100% possible. Obviously, we do have some breech VBAC stories on the podcast but they are few and far between. 

I mean, Lauren, when you were going through it, did you hear a lot of breech births in general let alone VBAC? Did you hear a lot of people having those? 

Lauren: No. I had heard a few on The VBAC Link but that was really it. 

I did a lot of research. 

Meagan: Yes and it’s so unfortunate. This story is a double VBAC story but also a breech VBAC which we know a lot of people seek the stories for this because as she just said, there is not a lot of support out there when it comes to breech birth in general. We have a client right now who was just told that her baby was breech and they’ve already said, “We’re going to try to flip this baby but if not, it’s a C-section.” They didn’t even talk about breech vaginal birth being an option and it makes me so sad. 

I’m really, really excited to get into your episode. You are in Alabama. Is that correct? 

Lauren: I am. 

Meagan: Awesome. So any Alabama mamas, listen up especially if you have a breech VBAC but VBAC in general. If someone is willing to support a breech VBAC, I’m going to guess that they are pretty supportive of VBAC in general. 

We do have a Review of the Week so we will get into that. This is by sarahinalaska. It says, “HBA2C attempt”. It says, “Thank you, thank you. Your podcast came to me at such an amazing time. You ladies are doing something amazing here. I’m planning on (I’m going to) have an HBAC after two C-sections in February. I look forward to listening to your podcast on repeat to fuel my confidence, ability, and knowledge.” 

Sarahinalaska, this has been just a minute so if you had your VBAC or just in general, if you are still listening, let us know how things went and congratulations. Late congratulations because this was a couple of years ago. 

Meagan: Okay, everybody. Lauren, thank you again for being here. 

Lauren: Thank you for having me. 

Meagan: Yes, so okay. Obviously, every VBAC journey starts with a C-section so if you want to start right there. 

Lauren: Yeah. So my first son was about 7 years ago. He was born by C-section. He was also breech. 

Meagan: Oh, interesting. Okay. 

Lauren: He was breech through the entire pregnancy. We had talked to my doctor about doing the version but at 36 weeks, my water broke. 

Meagan: Okay. 

Lauren: So once your water breaks, you can’t attempt a version. I went to the hospital and they said that it would have to be a C-section at that point. I really didn’t have the knowledge that I do now and basically, it was worded as “I don’t have an option” and that’s just it. 

So that’s what we did. 

Meagan: Yeah. It’s so common. Even with non-breech, there are so many times when we come into our birth experience and we are left feeling like we don’t have an option. 

Lauren: Yeah. 

Meagan: It’s just so hard to know. Obviously, that’s why we created this podcast so you know all of your options. And then talking about flipping a baby and doing an ECV after your water broke, that is something I’ve only seen one time in 10 years of practicing so most providers will be like, “Nope. I won’t even attempt it.” I was actually floored when my client was actually offered that. 

Obviously, it’s a more difficult experience and it can be stressful on the baby as well so there’s that to consider. She ended up trying it. He tried it twice and it didn’t happen and then they ended up going into the OR. 

So okay. Baby was breech. Do you know why baby was breech? Did they say anything about your uterus or any abnormalities there? 

Lauren: No. They said sometimes it just happens. They knew how badly I wanted to have a vaginal birth and they said, “You are an excellent candidate for a VBAC.” So I was like, “Okay, great.” 

Meagan: Awesome. 

Lauren: That’s when I really took a deep dive into birth in general because the stuff that they were saying just didn’t sound right to me. 

Meagan: They said you were a candidate. So where did your VBAC journey start as you were diving in? How did that begin? Did you do that before pregnancy or after you fell pregnant? 

Lauren: Before pregnancy. Probably before the time I came home from the hospital with my son, I was already researching. 

Meagan: Baby was a couple of days old and you’re like, “And let’s figure this out.” Listen, I get that. That’s exactly how I was too with becoming a doula. It was literally two days after I had my C-section. I signed up to become a doula. 

Okay. You started diving in and what did you find? 

Lauren: It was very shocking to me how most providers don’t practice evidence-based. I found out the difference between evidence-based versus the standard of care. I was shocked about that too. I was just like, How can you do that as a doctor when you’ve got all this evidence here? But another doctor is practicing this way so it’s okay for you to do that. 

Meagan: Right. It becomes the norm or it has become the norm. Yeah. Okay. So you get pregnant and you know VBAC is possible. Tell us that VBAC story. 

Lauren: So that was just a wonderful experience but part of my research, I joined ICAN and I wanted the most VBAC-supportive provider out there. I did switch providers and I switched even before I was pregnant. Right when we were trying, I was like, I need to get in with a provider who is supportive. I found a wonderful provider. 

The pregnancy was great. I did all the things. I sat on the birth ball instead of on the couches. I made sure to take walks every day. I kept up with my chiropractic care. All of that were just tips that I had seen so I did that. 

She was head down by 20 weeks so I was super excited about that and she waited until 40+3 which was also a big thing for me because with my first son, they took him to the NICU so I did not want the NICU. The NICU was a horrible experience. I was like, Please, please, please hold on until 37 weeks. 40 would be great.

She did. She held on until 40. It was funny too. It was like a switch flipped at that point and I was like, okay. Now I want to get her out. I was eating the spicy food and everything to try to get labor started. 

But 40+3, my water broke with her as well before labor started. I panicked a little bit because I didn’t want to be on a clock. Although I felt that I was with a good provider, I still hadn’t birthed with her yet and I’ve heard stories about people having this doctor who tells them everything they want to hear and then they get in the birth room and it’s completely different. 

Meagan: The bait-and-switch, yeah. It’s so hard because they talk about how we have to have this proven pelvis to be considered the best candidate or to have full faith in our ability, but at the same time, I feel like sometimes from us at a patient’s standpoint, they need to prove to us. They need to prove to us that they are supportive throughout. 

Lauren: Yes. For sure. So pretty quickly after my water broke, I started pumping and while I was pumping, the contractions started so I felt so much better. I was like, Okay, good. Now we’ve got contractions going. I had a doula at that point as well because I felt like having a doula was going to be extremely important for a VBAC. I called her and let her know. She came over and she just hung out a little bit. We did a henna on my belly and we just talked and talked through some fears and excitement and stuff like that. 

Then she said, “Well, I’m going to go get my stuff. Why don’t you lay down and take a nap and see if once things pick up, we can go to the hospital?” I said, “That sounds great.” This was my first time experiencing labor because with my son, even though my water broke, I never had contractions. They just went straight to the C-section. I went upstairs and I laid down on my left side. 

Within a minute, I was just like, Whoa, these feel totally different. This is crazy. Probably within 30 minutes or so, I was having contractions every 2-3 minutes. 

Meagan: Whoa!

Lauren: Yeah. I was just like, This just picked up really fast. I think I was supposed to already go in by now. 

Meagan: Were they intense as well on top of being close or were they not as intense but just close? 

Lauren: In hindsight, they were not intense but it was my first time having labor and they were more intense than the beginning contractions. “Okay, they are more intense. They are close together. I’ve got to go now.” I was panicking. 

We made it to the hospital. They checked me and I was 2 centimeters. 

Meagan: Okay. 

Lauren: I was like, “You’ve got to be kidding me.” 

Meagan: Yes. That’s the hardest thing because we are so focused on the time. We are told if they are this close together, it’s time to come in but we sometimes forget about the other factors of intensity and length and what’s the word I’m looking for? I was going to say continuous but they are that pattern always. They are sticking to that pattern. They are consistent. They are consistent, yeah. Okay, so you’re 2 centimeters which is great by the way. It’s still great. 

Lauren: Yes. Oh, and I forgot to mention too that another that was like, Okay, I probably am with a good provider, I did call her after my water broke and she said, “What are your plans?” I just said, “I’d like to stay home as long as possible and contractions haven’t started yet but I’m going to try to start pumping and get them started.” I said, “I’d like to wait until tomorrow morning to come in if nothing has started.” She was like, “Okay. Sounds like a good plan. Just let me know what you need.” 

I was like, Wow. She let me go past 24 hours. 

Meagan: Yeah. I just love that she started out, “What’s your plan?” 

Lauren: Yes. 

Meagan: Versus, “This is what you have to do now.” 

Lauren: Yes. Exactly. She is wonderful and you’ll see through the story how amazing she is too. But anyway, we get to the hospital and I actually started out with a wonderful nurse. The hospital policy is continuous monitoring. 

Meagan: Yeah, very common. 

Lauren: But I did not want that. I was so lucky because the nurse who started, she was about to leave. Her shift was about to end but she let me start on intermittent monitoring so I was able to get up, walk around, get on the birth ball just to help things moving. 

Shortly after that, she left and the next nurse was not so nice about it. She told me, “It’s our policy. Yada yada.” I said, “Look. I’ve been doing the intermittent. I’m fine with the intermittent. That’s what I’m going to stick with.” She said, “You’re going to have to sign a form.” I said, “Bring it on.” 

Meagan: Yeah. 

Lauren: I signed the form and I was just like, “That’s fine. I have no problem signing a form to say this is my choice.” Then we labored in the hospital room for several hours and my doula suggested I got in the shower at one point and that was amazing. It was euphoric. It felt so good to get in the hot shower and I was progressing slightly more than a centimeter an hour which I know is what they look for so things just progressed pretty slowly and then that night at around– oh, well actually once I hit 6 centimeters, my body started pushing. 

Meagan: Oh, yes. That can happen. 

Lauren: I was terrified when I found out I was only 6 centimeters because they kept saying, “You need to stop pushing or you’re going to the OR.” I was like, “You don’t understand. I’m not pushing. My body is doing it.” It was several hours of working with my doula to try to stop my body from pushing. Every time I had a contraction, and they were still going every 2 minutes–

Meagan: Did they give you any tips on how to cope with that or how to avoid pushing like horse lips or things like that?

Lauren: The thing that worked best for me was opening my mouth and saying, “Ahhhh.” So that helped a lot but I would still say that 50% of the time I could not stop the pushes. I still remember that nurse saying which was not helpful at all, “Are you pushing? That’s the quickest way to the OR.” 

Meagan: Ugh. Not very kind. You’re like, “I’m trying not to. Can you see what I’m doing here?”

Lauren: Yes. Then my doctor came in around 11:00 that night to check me and she said, “Oh, you’re complete.” I just remember being like, “Thank God.” I said, “Does that mean I can push now?” They’re like, “Yes.” That was the best thing I had heard because that was all I wanted to do was push. I was already in the bed because they had me on the monitor at that point. I was on my back so they just leaned the bed back. 

I didn’t really want to push on my back but at that point, I was like, “I’m not moving. I’m just going to push how I am.” 

I pushed. It took about 20 minutes and she just slowly came out. It was– oh, I’m going to get emotional. It was wonderful. My doula was also my birth photographer and she got some pictures. She got a picture of my husband. It’s really sweet. I hope he’s okay with me telling this but she got a picture of him crying. It was when she was almost out. I asked him about it and he said, “I just knew at that point you were going to do it. I knew how important it was to you.” Sorry. 

Meagan: I’m sure he had that overwhelming flood of emotions like, “I know this is important and I can see it. She’s there. She’s going to do this.” 

Lauren: Yes. It was wonderful too and then I got to hold her on my chest for a while but they weren’t too thrilled with her breathing so they never took her out of the room but they did take her over to the table and they were suctioning her and stuff like that. I started feeling a little panicky because with my son, what happened was after my C-section, they showed him to me. I got to kiss him and touch him and all that but then they started leaving the room with him. I was like, “Whoa, where are you going?” They were like, “Oh, we’ve got to take him to the NICU because he’s having trouble breathing,” but nobody told me anything. They just started leaving with him. 

I was panicking thinking that was going to happen with my daughter. I was like, “Please, please, please just give her to me. All she needs is me. She’s going to be fine. Just give her to me.” The nurse was like, “No. She needs suction. We need to do our job,” but my doctor was so wonderful. She came over and said, “What they’re doing right now is suctioning her because they are not happy with her oxygen level.” She sat there and she told me, “Okay, now she’s at 94.1%. Now she’s at 94.2%. Now she’s at 94.3%.” 

Every time that thing went up, she would tell me. She was just so calm and it was like she got me. She understood. 

Meagan: She understood what you needed in that moment. 

Lauren: Yes. Yes. Another thing too which I thought was really interesting is that first off, she did ask before she did anything. We got half of my daughter’s head out but she got a little stuck so the doctor was like, “You know, we really want to get her out.” She said, “I think the vacuum might help or are you okay with me manually helping you?” I said, “What do you mean by that?” 

She said, “I could just insert my fingers and tilt her chin. I think that will get her out.” I said, “Yeah. Let’s do that one.” So she did. She went in and popped her little chin and then she came out.

Meagan: Awesome. 

Lauren: But it was nice to be asked instead of told what needed to be done. 

Meagan: Well not even told and just have it done. 

Lauren: Yeah, just do it. I’ve heard that a lot and it was crazy because that actually was going to happen with my first son. Before my nurses knew I was breech, they came in and they started. They were about to put medicine in my IV and I said, “Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing?” She’s like, “Oh, this is Pitocin. We need to get your contractions started.” I was like, “No, I don’t want Pitocin.” She’s like, “We need to birth him within 24 hours or he’s going to be a C-section.” 

So it was just crazy the difference in being told what was going to happen and being asked for not only my opinion but my consent. 

Meagan: Yeah, absolutely. That’s so important. Women of Strength, if you are listening to this, please, please, please I beg of you to help you know. I don’t know how we can let you know even more but you guys have the power to say no and consent is so important. Your consent is so important with anything, even just getting Pitocin drips. If anything is happening to your body, you have the right to say no and you always can question. You can pause and say, “Tell me all of the risks here” or whatever. You don’t just have to have it be done to you. You do not have to. 

Lauren: Yes. 

Meagan: It’s hard to say no in that moment. 

Lauren: It is. It is. 

Meagan: It’s hard to say no especially when they are coming in and making it sound like something you need. Whether it’s something you need or not, you still deserve to have consent. 

Lauren: Yes, exactly. Then they throw that at you where it’s like, “Oh, the baby will be in danger.” You’re like, if you’re not knowledgable then you’ll be like, “Okay, then. I don’t want my baby in danger.”

Meagan: Exactly. Of course, we don’t. Duh. Of course, we do not want our baby in danger but most of the time rarely is our baby in danger if we are not starting Pitocin right away. Yeah. Awesome. So you had this beautiful vaginal birth with support. It was a way different experience with good, true informed consent even into the postpartum period which should keep continuing anytime you are under care with anyone like this no matter in hospital or out of hospital. This kind of consent should continue. 

Lauren: Yes, for sure. 

Meagan: Awesome. Awesome. 

And then baby number three. Cute little baby. I don’t know if I’m allowed to say his name so I won’t. 

Lauren: Oh, yeah. You’re fine. Ollie, yeah.

Meagan: I was going to say I got to see on the recording just before we got started that he was another breechie. 

Lauren: Yes, he was. I was just like, Oh my goodness. His pregnancy was so similar to my first son. It was a little freaky. I had a lot of anxiety to work through because of that. I was like, This can’t happen again. He was breech the entire time and basically stayed in the same position. He moved his little head around and that was about it. 

This time, I was I guess a little more– I don’t know if cocky is the right word but confident that everything would be fine. I was a little more lazy. I didn’t do as many walks as I should have. I sat on the couch a little more than the birth ball and things like that. I was like, Oh, he’ll be fine. So at about 20 weeks when he was still breech, I was like, Maybe it won’t be fine. Maybe I need to get this going. 

I started trying to do a little more of that stuff. Also, my doula had moved out of state so I was like, Oh no. 

Meagan: Dang it yeah. 

Lauren: I know it’s so important and having a doula was definitely important for me. I started the search for a new doula which ended up turning out great. I loved both doulas so I was very pleased but I was very nervous. But yeah. I found my doula while I was pregnant and then I just had so much anxiety about my first son’s birth that I needed a plan ahead of time basically. 

I talked to my doctor about it and I went in there just nervous to even bring it up. I said, “So he’s still breech. I know that he’s got plenty of time to turn but I am nervous because I have a history of this with my first son. He was breech and I had to have a C-section.” I said, “What are your thoughts on a breech vaginal?” She goes, “Well, I don’t see why we couldn’t.” I was like, “What?”

Meagan: You’re like, “I wasn’t expecting that.” 

Lauren: She’s like, “You’ve already had a VBAC. You did fine. He can’t be sideways. He’s got to be to where he could actually come out breech. It’s just something that we’ll talk about.” She did mention an ECV as well and she was like, “We’ve got a long way away but I don’t have a problem doing a breech VBAC with you.” I immediately just felt so much relief. 

Meagan: I bet. 

Lauren: Yes. So we went along the pregnancy like that and then at 37+3 at 5:00 in the morning, my water broke. 

Meagan: 3 for 3 water breaking, you and I. They say 10% but when you’re 3 for 3, you’re like, “Hmm.”

Lauren: That’s what I was thinking and the breech stuff is only 3-4% are breech and I had it twice. It’s like, How is this possible? But yeah, my water broke around 5:00 AM and me running to the bathroom, I woke my son up and he came in. It was really sweet. He got in bed with me and we just cuddled for about an hour and I talked to him about how his baby brother was going to come today. It was just a really nice moment to cuddle with him. 

Meagan: Oh yeah. Those moments are so precious because you’re like, these are the last moments of just us as a family of 4 and now we’re adding a 5th and these are the last little moments together without little siblings. I’ll always remember that. 

So we did that. We cuddled for about an hour and then the contractions actually started without me having to pump. This time, I was going to wait a little bit longer before pumping because I wondered if the contractions every 2 hours with my daughter for the whole labor was maybe because of the pumping. Having contractions that close made things really difficult. 

Meagan: Oh yeah. Not a lot of a break. Every 2 minutes, there’s not a ton of a break especially when they were a minute long. Not a lot there. 

Lauren: No. So I was like, Maybe that will change. I knew I could handle it but I was like, If I don’t have to, that would be great. They started pretty slow about 6 minutes apart or so really gently. 

At around 6:00, I went ahead and woke my husband up and let him know. I called my parents. I had texted my doula but I went ahead and called her just to let her know. I called my doctor. She again just asked me, “What are your plans?” I just said, “Stay here to let things pick up and then head to the hospital.” She was like, “Okay, that sounds good.”

I just labored at home. My parents live 2 hours away but they were coming to get our older two kids. I was going to try to pack the hospital bag because I had not done that yet. 

Meagan: Well, at 37 weeks. 

Lauren: That was the plan for that weekend. I kept having to sit down because of the contractions. My husband said, “Let me do it. Tell me what you need.” I would just give him the instructions as I just bounced on the birth ball. We got that done and my parents showed up. They brought me a big smoothie because I was like, “I want to eat but I don’t want to chew so get me a smoothie.” That was really nice just to have something in my stomach and give me some energy and stuff. 

They got here at around 9:30 and at around almost 11:00, I was like, “These contractions are starting to feel real.” I had a first birth reference at that point. 

Meagan: Yeah, like more intense and frequent and strong. 

Lauren: Exactly. Oh, but I will say by 7:30 again, at 7:30 that morning, I was back at 2 minutes apart. 

Meagan: Oh man. It’s just something your body does. 

Lauren: That’s just me, yeah. But they weren’t intense and this time, I knew. I was like, Okay. I know this is not intense. I’m still able to talk through them. I’m able to recover very well, but then right around 11:00, I was like, “Things are getting really intense now so I think we need to go.”

We left for the hospital and let my doula know. I called my doctor as well and it was really wonderful talking to her too because she said, “You know, when you go in there, make sure you are confident. Tell them this is the plan. You are going to do a breech VBAC. We have already discussed this.” I think she was worried too. 

The hospital, I will say, I do not feel was supportive. I think it was mainly that they were scared. I think she knew that too, but having her in my corner was what I needed. 

Meagan: Yeah, very huge. 

Lauren: We got to the hospital and she had gone ahead and called them to directly admit me so I didn’t have to do triage and all that. That made it so much quicker. We got there probably around 11:40 or so and we were already in our room and the doctor was coming in by 12:00. 

She came in and she checked me. She was like, “All right. You’re already at about a 5 or a 6 so you’re doing great.” She’s like, “I’ll be in the hospital for a while so they’ll just call me when you need me. Just do your thing. I was like, “All right. Here we go.” 

I did get in the bed for a little while so they could do the IVs and stuff like that. I told them I wanted the wireless monitor. They were having trouble working it but they still never made me do any monitors because I told them I can’t do continuous unless it is wireless because I need to be able to move. They didn’t argue with that so that was nice. 

Once they got all that done, I got on the birth ball. We played some music that I had preplanned and my doula and my husband both helped me work through the contractions then it was 12:58 which was less than an hour when my body started pushing again. I’m like, You’ve got to be kidding me. I can’t do this.

They called the nurse in because I was like–

Meagan: Last time this happened at 6 centimeters. Please don’t tell me. 

Lauren: They came to check and she was like, “Oh my gosh, she’s complete and he’s right there.” I was like, “What?” 

Meagan: Yay!

Lauren: Yes. They called my doctor. I was panicking a little bit but she wasn’t there. She was in the hospital but because she wasn’t in my room and I went from a 5 to complete in less than an hour, I’m like, “Is this baby just going to shoot out of me?” I was like, “I need her to be here.” Anyway, she got there very quickly and this time, I knew I didn’t want to be on my back so they had me just try some different positions but I really liked when the bed was sat up and I was facing the back and leaned over it so I was upright. Then I was able to move my pelvis around and just find a comfortable position. I really liked that. 

I started pushing because I could. He just very, very slowly came out and my doula was recording because I wanted a recording of my last birth but I was just too out of it to even ask for it so I had let my husband and doula ahead of time that I wanted it so my doula took care of that. She was there recording it. 

Meagan: Awesome. 

Lauren: Yeah. I was pushing I remember this one hurt a lot more than my daughter. I think they stretch you differently. I remember panicking to my husband, “Oh my gosh. This hurts.” He was just slowly coming out but I couldn’t see what was going on. With my daughter, they rolled out a mirror so I could see what was going on. 

I felt like I was pushing wine. I didn’t ask him to but my husband stepped in and he was like, “Okay, I see a leg now. Oh, there goes the other leg.” He started just telling me body parts and I was able to get a visual which was so helpful to be able to know how much was coming out. 

When it got to his chest, it felt like my body was just like, Okay, we’re done. The contractions just stopped and I was like, “What’s going on? They were coming so fast and now they’re just chilling out or whatever.” They were like, “It’s fine. We’ll just wait until the next contraction.” 

They did start coming back but it didn’t feel as strong and it felt slower. I don’t know what that was about. It could have just been my perception too. 

He came all the way out up to his neck and then he wasn’t really coming much further after he got to his neck. The doctor was turning him because he had the cord wrapped around his neck twice. He just didn’t seem to be moving like he was supposed to. 

She said, “I need to check and see if his head is flexed,” and it was not. She had to put both hands inside to flex his head so that it was in the correct position and she had turned him over to try and get some of the cord off as well. 

It got a little intense there for a minute. She said, “Okay. I need you to get on your hands and knees,” so I did that and that wasn’t working. She said, “Okay, mom. I want to get you to flip over. I just need a different angle to get him out.” 

I flipped over on my back which I was completely fine with at that point. I wasn’t panicked. I had a little bit of anxiety and fear but I wasn’t really scared because my doctor seemed so confident in that she’s got this. We just need to do something a little different to get him out. 

We flipped on my back and she got his head exactly where it needed to be. I did two more pushes and he came out. He had gotten stuck longer than they wanted him to so she said, “We’re going to go ahead and cut the cord and get him to the nursery team who was coming in” because they needed to resuscitate him just from the time it took. 

Meagan: He was shocked 

Lauren: She said too, “He’s going to be okay. He’s trying to cry but he needs help.” I said, “Okay.” I felt good at that point. I knew that if he was trying to cry that he was still conscious. The NICU team– it was charted wrong how long he was stuck. I think they panicked a little bit because they just went and they intubated him immediately and they said, “Okay, we need to get him to the NICU.” 

I hadn’t even touched him at that point. I said, “Can I touch him or kiss him or talk to him before you take him?” I asked my doctor that and she said, “Can you bring him over here so she can give him a little pat before you take him?” The nurse looked over and she goes, “She can see him from where she’s at,” and they left with him. 

Meagan: Oh. Oh. Oh boy. 

Lauren: To me, it did feel like a punishment for doing a breech. They went back and looked and they charted that he was stuck for 5 minutes. We had a video and he was stuck for a minute and 40 seconds. Huge difference. 

Meagan: Very big, yeah. 

Lauren: They went immediately to what they would do with a baby who had been stuck for 5 minutes. They charted his APGAR as 0 but my doctor said, “It can’t be because he whimpered when he got out so he’s got to have at least something.” It was all just a big overreaction at that point. 

They were supposed to monitor him for 4 hours to make a decision and they immediately just made the decision to admit him to the NICU which meant he was stuck in NICU for at least 3 days. 

Then within– when I went to go see him, it was within 2 hours. They had already extubated him. He was already breathing on his own with no problems whatsoever. 

Meagan: He was fine. 

Lauren: Yeah, he was fine.

The next morning, my doctor went and talked to the doctors–

Meagan: The pediatricians? 

Lauren: Yeah. Yeah at the NICU and just let them know, “This is wrong in the chart. This is wrong in the chart,” educating them about breech VBAC. She also did talk to them about the behavior of the nurse and she said, “It was unacceptable.” They talked about that. 

Oh, because that same nurse, when I finally got up to the NICU to see him, she had her back turned and she didn’t see me coming and I heard her talk. She goes, “Well, you know, he came out the wrong way.” Then she realized that I was behind her and she walked away. I never saw her after that. 

Meagan: She probably was avoiding you. 

Lauren: I was like, Oh my goodness. I can’t believe that just happened. 

Meagan: Seriously. Obviously, she’s got a chip on her shoulder toward people who are doing things that are actually normal, just a different variation. 

Lauren: After my doctor talked to them that morning, as soon as she left, they called me and they weren’t going to let me breastfeed or hold him or anything like that because he had a central line in his umbilical cord and they said, “It’s too risky. It could fall out.” As soon as she left, they were like, “We’re going to actually let you try to latch and hold him. We’ll just have to be really careful.” 

Meagan: Good for your doctor for advocating for you guys. 

Lauren: That was one of my things that I just really love about her. That’s not something that she had to do. She took the time out to review everything that night. I had him on a Saturday so she reviewed everything that night, got up early the next morning, went to the NICU, advocated for me, and I’ll just never forget her for that. She’s my angel.

Meagan: Yeah. That’s how it should be. That’s really how it should be. Are you willing to share her name for anyone looking for VBAC support and especially for breech? 

Lauren: Yeah. Her name is Dr. Robinson and she’s at Alabama Women’s Wellness Center in Huntsville, Alabama. 

Meagan: Awesome. 

Lauren: Yes. It’s really hard to find a VBAC-supportive provider in Alabama but breech VBAC? That’s hard anywhere. 

Meagan: I have Alabama Women’s Wellness Center because we have our supportive provider list that we are working on right now to perfect so everybody can get access to that in a better way and we don’t have her on there so I’ll make sure to add her. 

Lauren: Yes. Thank you. Yeah. She’s amazing. That’s probably an understatement. 

Meagan: She sounds absolutely incredible. I’m just so happy for you. I’m so glad that you had that advocate through a provider and it sounds like the second time, it was a little bit more of that informed consent, truly wanting to incorporate you into this experience with a little less of that the second time, but holy cow. Amazing. A minute and 40 seconds, that might feel like an eternity to someone watching, but really, that’s actually pretty quick and your provider knew, “Okay, let’s change positions. Let’s move. Let’s get this going,” and baby’s out. It can be common for babies to come out a little stunned breech or not breech. Sometimes they come out a little stunned and you also had a really fast transition so you went from a 5 to a 10 really fast. 

There are a lot of things to take into consideration there for sure. 

Lauren: Yeah. I think she said that they charted from the time his butt came out is what they told her and with a breech, you’re supposed to chart once the shoulders are out. 

Meagan: Yeah, the shoulders and the neck. That makes sense that they got that mixed up. Well, I wanted to go over the different types of breech. You already said this earlier that it’s kind of crazy that 3-4% of people will have a full-term breech and I know baby number one was 36 weeks but pretty much right there right around the corner of full-term. But 3-4% and you’ve had two so it’s pretty low but we know that breech is happening. It’s just not being supported. I wanted to talk about a couple of different things.

There are different types of breech and that is something that I think is important to know. We’ve got frank breech and that’s where the baby’s butt is down into the vaginal canal or down and the legs are sticking right up where the baby’s feet are in front. Do you know if your baby was frank breech? 

Lauren: Yeah, they were both frank. 

Meagan: Yeah. That’s typically where a provider, if they are supportive, will allow a vaginal birth, and then complete breech is where the butt is down and both the hips and knees are flexed. Footling is where one or sometimes both– it’s like they are either standing inside or where they are being a flamingo and doing a one-foot thing facing down. Or we know that there is transverse where the baby is sideways. 

Footling and transverse– I mean, transverse for sure cannot come out vaginally. Footling has some more concerns so most providers will not support that. Anyway, overall, my suggestion is if you have a breech, one, know the options to try to help rotate a baby. If you so choose, there are also risks to ECVs. 

We have a blog around ECV and we want to make sure it’s in the show notes. We are going to link some more about breech babies as well but know that you have options. You do have options. It’s not like Lauren’s first where she walked in and was felt that she was stripped away of all the options. 

If you’re looking for a VBAC-supportive provider, something that I always tell my clients and I need to suggest this more on the podcast is while you are asking questions like, “How do you support VBAC?” and all of these questions talk about, one of those questions is “What if my baby’s breech? What does that look like?” I think that’s a really great question to add in there because then you can know, “Okay, not only is this provider VBAC-supportive, but they are even breech-supportive.” 

We never know. Sometimes babies just flip and sometimes they flip in the very end. It’s very rare but it happens so it’s just really important to know. Add that to your list of questions as you are going through and asking for support for VBAC how they are for breech. 

Do you have any other things that you would suggest for someone maybe going to have or deciding to have a breech birth in general? 

Lauren: Just try to be as knowledgeable as you can about it because that gave me a lot of peace just knowing all the facts and just the knowledge. It made me feel a lot more comfortable with it all. 

Meagan: Absolutely. It sounds like you did. You just told me a stat just barely so it sounds like you are very confident and you know about breech. I would suggest the same thing. Know the pros and the cons of all three– ECV, breech vaginal, and Cesarean. Let’s learn all of them. Well, thank you so much for being here with me today and sharing all of your beautiful birth stories and letting me meet your sweet Ollie via Zoom and sharing these stories to empower other Women of Strength to make the best choice for them. 

Lauren: Yes. I really appreciate it. I was very excited when you asked me to come on. 

Meagan: Oh my gosh. We are so happy to have you. 

Lauren: Thank you. 

Closing

Would you like to be a guest on the podcast? Tell us about your experience at thevbaclink.com/share. For more information on all things VBAC including online and in-person VBAC classes, The VBAC Link blog, and Meagan’s bio, head over to thevbaclink.com. Congratulations on starting your journey of learning and discovery with The VBAC Link.

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Women of Strength, we have a truly inspiring story for you today! Ashley joins us from the Liverpool/Sydney area in Australia and shares her VBAC with an inverted T special scar and extension story. During her first Cesarean, Ashley’s OB mentioned that she had only performed that kind of incision one other time in her entire career and that Ashley would never have a vaginal birth.

Ashley did not find out the actual circumstances around her first Cesarean until she requested her operative notes during her second pregnancy. In spite of what she was told, her heart longed for a VBAC. She committed to doing all she could to try and find a VBAC-supportive provider as long as it was medically safe to do so. 

Ashley went into spontaneous labor and utilized the tools available to help her baby rotate from a posterior position. She and her provider both stayed patient, trusted the process, and after pushing for 20 minutes, her baby girl was earthside!

Special Scars, Special Hope Facebook Group

The VBAC Link Blog: Special Scars, Special Hope

How to VBAC: The Ultimate Prep Course for Parents

Full Transcript under Episode Details 

Meagan: Hello, Women of Strength. How are you today? I hope you are doing amazing. We have our friend, Ashley, with us today and you guys, she is from Australia. It has been so crazy. I don’t know why I cannot understand time. We were talking about how we literally had to Google, “What time will it be in Australia if it’s this time in Utah?” It was such a challenge to get this scheduled but I’m so grateful for Ashley for taking the time out of her Monday morning recording with us today so welcome, Ashley. Thank you for being here. 

Ashley: Thank you so much for having me on. Like I was saying to you before, The VBAC Link was so invaluable to me with all of the research and the statistics and just trying to hear other people’s stories to help me change my mindset to get through it so I’m really excited to add to that with my story as well. 

Meagan: Me too. Your story has a little extra tidbit to it. Something that we know happens because we’ve got lots of stories on them as well. We actually haven’t had one for a few minutes and yours is a special scar. You had an inverted T with an extension. Do you want to share with our listeners exactly what that means? We’ve had some J scars. There are all different special scars. An extension we know goes past the initial cut or incision. But tell us about the T. 

Ashley: Yeah, so I actually only found out after the surgery that it was an inverted T but I didn’t know what that entailed so I had to do a bit of my own research especially when I fell pregnant the second time to know what was involved with that. Yeah, it was really scary just to see that I had a vertical cut in the middle. Obviously, you’ve got your normal horizontal cut–

Meagan: Low transverse, yep. 

Ashley: Yeah, that’s right and then through the center going vertically I had a 3-centimeter cut which was obviously riskier. A lot of providers said no to me when I started to look into it when I was pregnant the second time and started to have a look to get somebody to take me on. Even the public hospital that I had originally gone to with my son actually said, “No, you will have to have a Cesarean if you come through us.” 

In Australia, they can’t really say no to you in a public hospital if that’s what your wishes are, but I wanted somebody who was going to be supportive of me and the whole journey. So yeah. That’s where I come to going private instead and having an obstetrician this time which I know is quite rare with VBACs. You find a lot of people who won’t take you on. I had a really amazing experience if anyone is listening from Sydney. I’m in Liverpool and my provider was Brian Hollis and he’s extremely VBAC friendly. He was amazing. 

He had actually somebody with an inverted T before. 

Meagan: Really? Okay, so he had also seen one. Definitely there are so many providers out there who do support VBAC and then they have a special scar patient come in and they are like, “I really like VBAC but I don’t know. I’ve never seen this before.” But we know it exists so I can’t wait for you to share more in your story and about him maybe because we know it’s so hard. It’s so hard to find these providers. It’s hard enough to just find a VBAC-supportive provider in general and then that’s something unique that Australia does that at least here in Utah we don’t do with the private and public. 

We just have this hospital and then we have the birth centers and then we have the home births. There is not the dramatic difference in the hospital system like in your case. Okay. Oh my gosh. I’m so excited to dive it. I do have a Review of the Week. I’m so excited that I’m talking so fast. 

I do have a Review of the Week and then we’ll get into those stories. Like you said, you didn’t find out until after. That’s is the case so many times. They don’t even say during. We’ll go into this as well if they went into why but sometimes there’s not even a clear answer to, Okay, I now have this different, unique scar but why? We’re going to get into that. 

We have this review from xxooxx and it says, “Informative, supportive, and empowering.” It says, “After having a C-section that I certainly did not want and that I did not know was not necessary, I knew nothing about VBACs. I had dove head-first into this podcast and on top of learning so much, I became informed and empowered to get my VBAC which I got. Thank you, Julie and Meagan, for loving your listeners and pouring your knowledge and support into us. What you do matters and I will always recommend The VBAC Link.”

Well, thank you, xxooxx, for that amazing review. Congratulations on your VBAC and I couldn’t agree more. This podcast really is so empowering and so informative like you were even just saying. I think a lot of this comes from the storytellers and the moms and the Women of Strength. This is just so amazing. I definitely suggest sharing this podcast to anybody. If they’re not a VBAC mom, if they’re a first-time mom or a second-time mom, I definitely suggest that because I truly believe that the stories on this podcast will help people avoid a Cesarean in general. 

Meagan: Okay, cute Ashley. You found out after so how did this first birth lead up to this inverted T with an extension? 

Ashley: Yeah, so I guess my story starts in 2020. I had a low-risk pregnancy and other than being sick the whole time but giving birth in March 2021 with my son and it was super traumatic. It took a long time to heal physically and mentally from it but my waters broke on their own two days before my due date. I had gone into the public hospital I was booked in for. I had seen the same midwife the whole pregnancy which was really fantastic. Midwives are amazing and just empowering telling a first-time mom, “You can do this.” 

I had no signs that anything would be wrong. So as usual, I went back home and then the contractions started that night. They started to really ramp up and become heavier so that night at about midnight or so, I tried to get some sleep. I wanted to stay home as long as possible. 

At 3:30 AM, I had to go to the hospital. I was just beyond. The pain in my back was just– yeah. I didn’t know if this was normal but in the end, when I got to the hospital, I was only 3 centimeters dilated. I had used the gas and the TENS to get through the contractions but he was posterior which I was nervous about. I didn’t know as many things as I knew in the second pregnancy in terms of Spinning Babies and trying to get into good positioning. 

With my son, I don’t know how it happened but he was posterior and the pain was just unbearable. 

Meagan: And it happens. We learn through pelvic dynamic courses and things that sometimes really truly, babies have to enter in a posterior position before they get into an anterior position and sometimes that means back labor. It is very, very intense. It really is intense. 

Ashley: Yeah. Yeah, it was. At this point, it went on for a few hours and I just actually couldn’t deal with it anymore so I had the epidural which turned out to be quite a good thing for me. It was relieving of some of that back pain but I still had felt a lot of it through it so it’s almost like it didn’t seem to work as much as I thought it would at that point. The contractions through my back were still there. 

We tried to do some things before I had the epidural to get into a better position, but it wasn’t working for me. Every contraction, my son’s heart rate would drop and the midwife was really good in just letting me keep going. “Let’s see. Let’s see.” But as soon as the doctor on call knew that it had been quite a few hours came into check me, “You’ve got meconium in your waters. You have to have a Cesarean.” 

I was just devastated because I had really thought that this was just going to be a great, empowering birth. I was so excited to give birth and to hear that it wasn’t going to go the way that I had intended, I was devastated and crying. But yeah, he was in a compound position as well so he did have his hand up past his head. There were a few things going against me in that time. 

But despite all of this, they gave me a little bit more time to keep going and I did get to 9 centimeters. I was in a position where they thought, “Okay.” My midwife was pushing, “Let’s try. Let’s try and see if she can continue and maybe we can try some repositioning to get him out,” but the doctor was, “No. Cesarean. There is meconium in the waters. Let’s get him out.” 

I was so exhausted. It had been 34 hours from the time my waters broke and I just gave in. When I was in that vulnerable position of just so much pain and didn’t know any better, I just said, “Okay, I’ll give in and I’ll have the Cesarean.” 

During the Cesarean preparing, I heard the surgeon say to her assistant, “She’s 9 centimeters,” and explaining it and the assistant said, “Should we just see? The head is almost there.” There was a little bit of whispering and then it all just stopped. I was just laying there terrified like, What’s going on? They’re talking about how far I’ve progressed and that they were concerned about me having a Cesarean.

Meagan: Your baby was so low. 

Ashley: Yes. I found out later that he was so low that they had to push him back up during the Cesarean. 

Meagan: Did they push him back up vaginally? 

Ashley: Yes. Yeah. 

Meagan: They do that sometimes where they go in vaginally where one doctor is pulling from the other end and one doctor is pushing from the other end vaginally 

Ashley: Yes. Obviously the recovery is like you gave birth, isn’t it? 

Meagan: Yeah. 

Ashley: Yeah. The doctor panicked and I was in such a blur that my husband and I actually debriefed afterward and he said, “I’ve never been so terrified.” A team of doctors just flew in. She was making calls. Obviously, when she started to begin the Cesarean, she saw that she couldn’t grab him. He was too low and that’s why they had to cut vertically but nothing was explained to us. We were just lying there terrified. The tarp was up. 

Meagan: They were doing their thing. 

Ashley: Yeah. And with our first child, we didn’t know what to expect anyway but my husband just said there were all of these people who just flew in and there were all of these conversations and whispers. 

Not long later, he emerged. The tarp wasn’t lowered and he wasn’t breathing. He started breathing once they transferred him to resus, but that time was the longest time. 

Meagan: Absolutely. It feels like 5 hours. 

Ashley: Absolutely, yeah. I don’t even know how long it was but it felt like forever. By the time that they placed him on me for the standard amount of time I suppose, I was in just a shock that the spinal block had made me have the shakes. It was just not what I was hoping for. 

Meagan: Anticipated, yeah. 

Ashley: Yeah. They wheeled him away with my husband. They went and then I was to go separately into recovery. Before I did that, the doctor then lowered the tarp and said to me, “You will never have a vaginal birth. I’ve only had to do what I just did twice in my career.” 

Meagan: Oh wow. 

Ashley: Yeah, and just so brutal. Just the shock of that was like, I didn’t want this either. It was just really hard to hear because I just had this baby not how I had anticipated and to hear that for the future was a big shock to me. 

Going into recovery and then later on that initial bond with my son, I was just in so much pain that it was hard to hold him. It really took a long time to recover from it. The next day, she did come and talk to me. She said that she had to cut an extension and cut an inverted T incision of 3 centimeters to get him out. She said, “Yeah. I’m so lucky it wasn’t worse.” 

Meagan: Wow. 

Ashley: Yeah, then she left and I just had to go home and start my new life as a mum with just this recovery. I could hardly walk. As a Cesarean, it’s already painful, but I had all of this pain and it left me with an awful feeling mentally as well. I just obviously adored my son. I was so happy to be a mum but that lead-up and then just bang. That’s how you’re giving birth, it was just a shock. 

Yeah, so that’s what happened. The details of it I found out with the second pregnancy. I didn’t know afterward that was our only conversation we had. I didn’t get any discharge notes with that information. It wasn’t until I was pregnant the second time that I requested my hospital notes. 

Meagan: So important. So important to do. I really encourage anybody whether you were at one, two, different hospitals and all of the things, request your records because you really do learn a lot about what really transpired that day in your op-reports. 

Ashley: Yeah, definitely. 

Yeah, so I guess that brings me to now with pregnancy. A lot better, a lot happier result but I fell pregnant in May 2023. Both my pregnancies were normal, and low-risk. I was a little sick and I actually got quite dizzy and things like that but nothing that was going to impact me from giving the VBAC a try. 

Like I mentioned, I had gone to a few different providers and when I had my pelvic floor checks and things after my first son, I spoke to the doctors there and said, “Would it be possible to have a VBAC here?” They said no. That was something that was a big shock to me. I didn’t expect that I would have to look for somebody. Yeah. 

That was a big shock. I found out through some of my friends about this OB who was quite VBAC-supportive and I knew I wanted to give it a try and ultimately, if I did have to have the Cesarean, I would be okay with it but I just wanted to try. 

I heard about this OB and had an appointment with him. My husband and I after the initial appointment were instantly comfortable with him. He was so supportive. He said to me, “Ashley, is this what you want to do?” I said, “Yeah. I really would like to try.” He goes, “Well, that’s what we’re going to do.”

Meagan: I love that.

Ashley: Yeah. I was just like, “Oh my goodness. He’s so honest about this is how it’s going to be.” “If you want to give it a go, these would be my conditions,” which were to have monitoring which I was fine with. I still was a little bit nervous. I know that some people would rather have no monitoring and just let your body tell you, but with the special scar, I thought if there are any signs of rupture, I really want to know.

Meagan: That’s actually a very common request from a provider in a VBAC situation. They usually want continuous monitoring. You can fight not to have continuous monitoring, but that’s a very normal request. On top of VBAC, having a special scar, it’s even more of a normal request for a provider to say, “Yeah, let’s totally do this. I just want to monitor things,” because we do know that one of the signs of uterine rupture is fetal distress. 

Ashley: Yeah, that’s right. He was just really supportive about, “Let’s put a birth plan together and see what you want to do and I’ll see what is the best thing to do.”

During the pregnancy, I tried to do as much listening to podcasts. That’s how I came across your page and Instagram just constantly looking for information. It’s actually a beautiful Facebook group called, Special Scars, Special Hope. Being in Australia, I was just like, this is global. There were so many amazing women on there offering support and advice. There was even information on there– statistics. Yeah. 

I did a little bit of research but I didn’t want to overwhelm myself. I just wanted to have a really strong mindset. There were times of doubt and, Maybe I’ll just book the Cesarean, but then I thought, No, this is what I want. Let’s give it a try. My OB was really supportive from the beginning about, Let’s just see how we go. 

He retrieved my notes and he found out that all of those details where they had to push him back up vaginally and they had to do this extension cut and all those kind of things. It was good that he was prepared. He knew and I just tried to stay as active as I could through the pregnancy. I did the dates at the end. I did the raspberry leaf tea and the vitamins. I just was always on the ball. I tried to do as much as I could to prepare myself physically, but yeah.

The conditions with my OB were that we said I would be giving birth at the public hospital that is next to the private. It was a different one to before because of any emergencies and that kind of thing. He would have to do some examinations every hour or so which I was also fine about. 

Obviously, I couldn’t use water. That was one thing I really wanted. I wanted to be able to get into the tub. 

Meagan: Birth in the water. 

Ashley: Yeah, or even just use it for pain management. 

He said, “No, because of the monitoring,” so that was one thing I was ugh about. I thought, When I do go into labor and it starts, I will try and use water at home before I get to the hospital. My husband was so supportive of me and said, “I will help you. Let’s do this. If you want to use the water–” he was a little bit nervous about, “When they start to ramp up, we really need to leave” because the hospital was about 30 minutes away. We just wanted to be at a point that no later than 5 minutes or so apart and they wanted me in. 

Meagan: Well, and you had already made it to 9 centimeters before so even though you’d be a first-time mom pushing baby out vaginally, your cervix is not as much like a first-time mom. 

Ashley: Exactly right. That was something that got me through the whole labor. I just kept saying to myself, My body knows how to do this. I’ve gotten here before. I know what to do. That was just something in times of doubt, I would just keep saying. 

But yes, my OB said at any point that he was concerned, we’d have the discussion and if anything was to go wrong, we’d be calling a C-section straightaway. I was fine about that. I came in at 39 weeks. Sorry, I booked at 39 weeks for a stretch and sweep but I got COVID. 

Meagan: Oh no. 

Ashley: My whole family all got COVID and I was just like, “No.” I couldn’t hardly breathe. I was congested and everything. I’m not going into labor like this. I’ve done that much preparation. So I just tried to rest and get better. It was put out until 40 weeks. I had until 41 weeks then he said we would be having a discussion about a Cesarean. He didn’t want me to go too long with the scar. 

So 40 weeks, my due date. I came in for a stretch and sweep. I came home to relax after, nothing. Nothing at all happened. No pain, nothing. Two days later, I started to have some mild period pains. I carried on the day with my son. I just kept going but I had been attending acupuncture weekly from 36 weeks. I had another session at 6:30 that night and by 9:30, the pain really started to ramp up. I decided to try and sleep but by the time I had a shower, laid down in bed, and at 10:00, they were coming faster, stronger, and I just knew I wanted to stay home as long as possible. 

I got into the shower then I did some type of positioning that I could get comfortable with the TENS machine on but I knew the pain of the back and I just knew that this baby had to be posterior again because the feeling was just like I had experienced it yesterday. 

Meagan: Deja vu. 

Ashley: Yeah. I just said to my husband, “She’s posterior. I just know it.” 

We left for the hospital at 1:30 in the morning. We got there and I had to walk a really long distance from the car to the birthing unit. It was just so odd. There was no one there, no wheelchairs for me, just no one. 

Meagan: Huh. 

Ashley: Yeah, I was so shocked. I was like, What’s going on? I just said, “This is going to help me progress.” Any little obstacle that would come up, I just said, “I’m going to be able to do this.” Helping I think in the end actually helped my labor progress.

Meagan: I was thinking that. This is actually probably really good. That’s a lot of movement for the pelvis and good for the baby to rotate. 

Ashley: I was having these contractions that I had to get on the floor to breathe them out and rock through them. It took us a long time to get from the car to the birthing unit because I had to keep stopping but when I did get there, they were like, “Wow. You are almost 5 centimeters. You have progressed really quickly.” 

Meagan: Just like you wanted. 

Ashley: Yeah. The contractions then were so weird. It was like I had to push but it was too early to push. She was posterior. It was confirmed so that pressure was just such an odd labor. I didn’t have that at all even though I was posterior with my son too. This one was like an intense pushing feeling that I couldn’t control. 

Then yeah. Once I had discovered that she was posterior too, I just tried to get into some good positioning. I had done a lot of research about posterior because I was terrified of it happening again. I got on the ball trying to rock back and forth and my husband was such a great support because we had done a little bit of information reading about this pressure point on the lower back. 

Meagan: The sacrum?

Ashley: Yes, that’s it so anytime I had these contractions, he would just push on there and I swear by that. I have to say more than the TENS machine, more than anything, that got me through that labor. But yeah. 

At one stage, I sat on the toilet to try and help with the pressure of this pushing and my waters broke. Yeah. That really ramped up from there. I was 6 centimeters at that point and it was unbearable. I couldn’t take it anymore. I asked for the epidural and the midwife was like, “Are you sure you want to do that? You said you didn’t want to.” I just knew that I had to do it. I couldn’t take it any longer. I was at that point where I was asking, “Just wheel me in. I’ll just have the Cesarean.” I didn’t want that. I wanted to keep trying so I had the epidural and I fell asleep. 

It was just like my body needed that. 

Meagan: Yeah. Rest and relaxation can really be the best tool in labor. Even in early labor, we are so excited and want to keep going but rest and relaxation. 

Ashley: I was so tired, yeah. I just relaxed. My body completely relaxed and I fell asleep for about an hour. At that point, my OB came in to see me and measured me and discovered that baby had turned while I was sleeping and I was 10 centimeters. 

In that hour, I had progressed that quickly. He looked at me and said, “Ashley, you’re having your VBAC.” He said, “You’re going to push this baby out. Within a half hour or so, this baby will be here.” I just was in pure– I’ve got the feeling all over again. I just was so in a pure disbelief. I was just so happy and I just said to my husband, “We’ve done it. This is it. This is the moment that I really wanted.” 

Yeah. It’s making me emotional all over again. I pushed for about 20 minutes under his guidance. I still had feeling and control in my legs because I didn’t have the epidural at full dose so that really helped and within 20 minutes, my baby girl was born.

And just that feeling of pure joy and pure connection, that bond was just immediate. Pride, shock. 

Meagan: It was just all of it. 

Ashley: When they laid her on my chest, I will never forget my husband– the pride he had in me. Yeah, it was just beautiful and it was truly empowering. It was a beautiful moment. It’s just something you never forget. She’s 12 weeks now and I just relive that moment over and over. 

But yeah, it was my healing birth. Yeah, it was beautiful. It was everything that I had hoped for. Just shock, really because it was such a different experience to the emergency that I had with my son. 

I had that golden hour. She wasn’t taken away from me like my son was. They gave me that time with her and it was just pure disbelief in a beautiful way. 

Yeah, so that’s it. I recovered so much quicker and I think for me, that chapter of my life closed. It was just a beautiful way to really celebrate what birthing should be like and how I should feel afterward. You know, that bond that you should have. Yeah. That’s me. 

Meagan: I felt all of the emotions as you were sharing it and I know that I get an extra advantage because I can see your face and I can see you get teary. Oh, just to see it in your face. That moment is amazing when you realize you’ve done it and it is so overwhelming in all of the ways but holy cow, I am so happy for you. I am so glad that you were able to find the support because it’s just so hard. It’s so hard and you were even told– you hadn’t even met your baby yet really and were told, “Just to let you know, you will never have a baby vaginally.” 

To even be told that in that space, that in itself is so overwhelming and being told, “No. No one here is going to support you. No one.” When you are proof along with so many other Women of Strength who have had special scars and gone on to have a vaginal birth that it is possible and you do not have to but when you’re in that vulnerable state, I can just picture my own C-sections in an OR with the drape up and the bright lights and the beepings and if I were told that I would never have a baby vaginally again, I would already be in that emotional intimate space and vulnerable where I could have and many people could be like, Okay and then just never look past it and that was it. I’ll never deliver vaginally. 

But that’s where I think this podcast just is so important for people to listen and hear these stories that you may be told something and that may be true. That really may be the best choice in the future, right? It may be medically best or emotionally best but it doesn’t mean it is always what your fate has to be for the rest of your life when having a baby. 

Ashley: Yeah, and when I was told that and then I fell pregnant, I thought to myself, Okay, if that is what is medically necessary, I will do that. I just want my baby here naturally and safely. If it isn’t the way that I had hoped then that’s okay. At one point, I even looked at the maternal-assisted Cesarean and I had that discussion with my OB. He said, “Yep Ashley, if you decide you’re going to have the Cesarean elective, I’ll do that for you.” He’s like, “I will make it beautiful for you. I can play music you like. I’ll do whatever you like. It will be different from the first.” 

I said to myself, Okay. That is an option if I just feel that. 

Meagan: That’s a good plan B. 

Ashley: Yeah, that’s right. Exactly. He said if we call it early enough and there are no signs of rupturing, “I can still do that for you.” I still felt really comfortable going in that no matter what, this would hopefully be a better experience than what I had. But yeah, you’re right. There’s almost this stigma that C-sections, especially with special scars, that your body failed. I wanted to break the mold on that that bodies aren’t broken. I almost left my first baby coming home with him and I just looked at him and loved him and adored him but I also felt to myself, That’s not how I wanted to bond with you by laying here and I can’t move. 

I felt like my body was broken or it had let me down and this time around, I just believed in myself. I believed in my body and I said to myself, “Your mindset is everything. Going in, this mindset is how I’m going to birth this baby and get through it.” Birthing is incredible and I feel like we should feel incredible afterward. 

Meagan: Absolutely. Birth is incredible and it really is incredible no matter what, but the experience really does matter. We hear the whole “safe mom, safe baby” but of course, duh. That experience really, really counts and it sticks with us really for the rest of our lives. I mean, my oldest is going to be 13 in just a few months and I still remember her birth. My other is 10 and I remember her birth and of course, my VBAC baby I remember his birth and those are sticking with me. They are sticking with me and it’s just I love that your provider was like, “Listen. I’m going to support here and if it goes here, I’m still going to support you and no matter what, we are going to make this a better experience for you.” 

I love that your provider saw the better experience as an important part. 

Ashley: Yeah. I’m paying for him and his expertise. But I almost felt like he just wanted me to be happy. For him, it was like, “I can see your pain. I want you to be happy this time around.” We felt that from the initial appointment. It was more than just, “I’m paying for you. You have to do this.” It was like, “Help me get a better experience for you. What do you want? What can I do?” That was so important to me so it was wonderful. It was really important to me to acknowledge him as well because he was such an amazing support. 

Meagan: Yes. I’m so happy for you. I’m so happy for you. I do just want to mention that group again, you guys. Special Scars, Special Hope on Facebook. What kinds of things did you see in your experience in that group?

Ashley: It’s just hearing other people’s stories because I would see VBAC stories and I was like, Yes, 100%. I need to do this and I need to do that. It’s got that little bit of a fear factor with it because it is a special scar and not that many people attempt it. So to have a group of women globally who do attempt it and just empower each other like, “Hey, I had an amazing experience. This is what I did,” that was just invaluable to me taking on all of this advice. Quite a lot of these women are in the U.S. and they do talk about how providers can either be for you or against you and just write you off completely. 

It is similar here too. There were quite a few who said, “No way.” They don’t want that liability so yeah, it was just really great to have that group with such amazing, brave women who are going out there and sharing their story on there because it helps people like me who are like, Look, it can happen. It’s rare, but it’s not impossible. That group is amazing. I encourage anybody who has had all of these different types of scars on there, not just inverted T. There are people who have had inverted J’s and extensions. So anything a little bit special. 

Meagan: Yes. I was going to go over the C-section incision types. We’ve got the low transverse which is considered the safest way to VBAC having a low, boring, low transverse. But then we have a low vertical which means they cut lower in the abdominal segment and it’s vertical up and down. Then we have classical which is higher and sometimes we have classical scars when maybe a baby is very preterm, very small and the baby can come out that way, multiples, or maybe if a baby is transverse but it’s earlier on or something like that, they may have to go higher. 

Then there is inverted T and like I said, inverted J’s and then we have extensions on all of these. There have even been low transverse with an extension where it can go further or that’s where it goes into that J. Yeah, there are just so many different types and honestly, the statistics are not that powerful out there. There are not a ton and I don’t know. I would say there’s not a ton of really solid concrete. There are some but they are smaller. 

Ashley: Yeah, really hard. I didn’t want to overwhelm myself with statistics and things. A lot of people in that group share the rupture risks and the statistics and what they throw at you, these OBs are, “You’ve got a 20% risk of rupturing,” that would turn anybody away. I just knew from women in this group that I had just glanced over seeing that it’s not that high. Don’t let anyone tell you it’s that high. Obviously, there are situations when you need to have the Cesarean because it is unsafe, but in my case, I knew that it wasn’t a 20% rupture risk. I knew that there was definitely less and mine was 3 centimeters. It can be bigger than that obviously, but when I had spoken to my OB, he said, “It is 3 centimeters but in the span of your whole labor progressing, 3 centimeters is not a big deal.”

Meagan: That’s pretty small. 

Ashley: Yeah, it’s pretty small so even just hearing that, it was like, “Wow, you are telling me something different than all of these other people.” It’s good to back yourself up a little bit in your conversations and have just that little bit of research behind you. 

Meagan: Yes. We are also going to have a bunch of links in the show notes so if you guys want to go check that out, I highly suggest it. Go check out the show notes. We’re also going to have the link to that group because anytime anybody has a special scar, I’m like, This is the group. It’s so empowering over there. It’s so informative. There are not many groups like that. Specialscars.org as well. 

Ashley: But even most of the people who have had a rupture as well, that group is just a safe space to talk about how you are feeling and there’s a lot of women on there who have become friends really just in sharing their experience. So yeah, it’s a really informative, great group. 

Meagan: Yep. Awesome. Well, thank you so much again for taking the time out and figuring out the time changes and being here with us just 12 weeks after your VBAC. 

Ashley: Thank you and thank you for everything you do to help empower women. Obviously, it’s reaching globally and it’s just so informative and supportive. Yeah, it’s amazing so thank you for everything you do. 

Meagan: Absolutely.

Closing

Would you like to be a guest on the podcast? Tell us about your experience at thevbaclink.com/share. For more information on all things VBAC including online and in-person VBAC classes, The VBAC Link blog, and Meagan’s bio, head over to thevbaclink.com. Congratulations on starting your journey of learning and discovery with The VBAC Link.

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Grace found The VBAC Link Podcast while still in the hospital after her first unexpected C-section. Her recovery was brutal and she knew she never wanted to experience that again. 

Grace is a labor and delivery nurse located on the Wisconsin/Illinois border. She shares what it was like preparing for her VBAC while working at a hospital that didn’t support VBAC. 

Though she found a supportive practice, Grace faced unexpected pressure for interventions at the end of her pregnancy. Ultimately, she advocated her VBAC wishes and they continued to support her.

When she contracted a fever and her baby had prolonged heart decels at 10 centimeters, Grace was prepped and wheeled to the OR. She mentally surrendered to the idea of another C-section. 

But when baby’s heart recovered, she was encouraged to keep pushing! Her baby boy came out in just four pushes and Grace was able to achieve the VBAC she so deeply desired. 

The VBAC Link Blog: Finding a VBAC-supportive Provider

The VBAC Link Blog: 10 Signs to Switch Your Provider

The VBAC Link Blog: VBAC vs Repeat C-section

How to VBAC: The Ultimate Prep Course for Parents

Full Transcript under Episode Details 

Meagan: Women of Strength, we’ve got a VBAC story coming your way today. We’ve got our friend, Grace. Where are you? Illinois? 

Grace: Yep. I’m right in between Milwaukee and Chicago right on the Wisconsin/Illinois border. 

Meagan: Okay, awesome. Well welcome to the show and she does have a little babe right now with her. How old is your baby?

Grace: He just turned a month old yesterday. 

Meagan: A month old and this is your VBAC baby. 

Grace: Yep. There he is. The man himself. 

Meagan: This is so fresh. Oh my gosh. I love when we get fresh stories. I feel like you’re probably still even processing as you tell your story. 

Grace: Yep. I am. I practiced a couple times to make sure I didn’t leave out important details. 

Meagan: Well, we are so excited to have you on the show. We do have a Review of the Week and then we’re going to get into your stories and then we’re going to talk a little bit about when the odds are stacked against you at the end and then spoiler alert, Grace is a labor and delivery nurse so I’m going to ask her some questions about how it is to be a labor and delivery nurse and supporting VBAC in her community. 

Okay, so we have this review. Its title is, “Tears plus stories plus hope plus joy equals education.” It says, “I discovered these ladies when I was 9 months postpartum from a very traumatic section and was eagerly beginning to research how to heal and build a new birth team for when my second baby came along. Now just a few months later, I’ve listened to almost all of the episodes and I hear the joy and the redemption these mamas have when they are in control of their births. It spurs me on towards my goal of one day having a successful VBAC. I cry when they cry. I feel joy when they feel joy. I feel sadness when they feel sadness and encouragement and elation when they succeed. It’s been quite the therapeutic discovery and I’m so glad Julie and Meagan created this resource. Each time Meagan or Julie directly addresses the audience as Women of Strength, I get goosebumps and I know in my heart I AM and WILL BE that woman of strength. I hope to one day share my version of success within this community.” 

That just gave me the chills so I’m just going to add tears plus stories plus hope plus joy plus chills equals education to that one. Thank you so much for your review. 

If you have not done so, as always, we would love them and you never know, you may just be read on the next podcast. 

Meagan: Okay, cute Grace. 

Grace: Hello. 

Meagan: Welcome, welcome. Let’s get going into your stories. 

Grace: Okay, so first of all, thank you for having me. This is amazing. I’m glad I had a VBAC but it’s even cooler that I get to be on the podcast. 

For my first pregnancy, I had just missed my first period so I took the test and was positive. I called my doctor and scheduled an appointment. I was about 6 weeks. At this appointment,  my doctor started calculating my due date with his little due date calculator and said, “Okay, it’s about May 26th. I’m going to induce you May 24th,” right off the bat. He decided we were going to be an induction. He said, “Since you are a first-time mom, it will reduce your risk of having to have a C-section if we schedule an induction.” 

I later found out he was actually just going to be out of town on Memorial Day weekend so he was pre-planning that for himself. But I didn’t know any better. I was like, “Okay, cool. I’ll know when I’m having the baby. I won’t have to worry about going into labor or anything.” Pregnancy went by with no complications. It was nice and smooth. 

At 39 weeks, he addressed again that we would be going in for an induction but he would just do the Cervadil. I went in that morning and they placed the Cervadil and told me, “Don’t move. Lay as flat as you can. You can only get up to go to the bathroom,” which is not true.

Meagan: Hashtag false. 

Grace: I lay there all day. They take the Cervadil out and it didn’t do much for me. I wasn’t favorable in the first place. I was closed, thick, high, and then he checked me after the Cervadil and said the same thing. Actually, he told me that he’s never done this before but he’s just going to discharge me. He didn’t want to start anything else or doing anything. I appreciate him not just pushing Pitocin when he didn’t think it was going to be a good idea. 

We left feeling super discouraged because we told everyone we were going to have a baby and then we were going home. He said, “Come in a week later if I don’t go into labor naturally. Just come in and we’ll try again.” 

So I didn’t. We went in the following week. They put in the Cervadil again. They actually did two rounds of it this time and this time we didn’t tell anybody we were going to the hospital. We just didn’t want the, “Is the baby here yet?” and all of those questions adding to the anxiety of being in labor. 

So they took the second round of Cervadil out and still didn’t really have any change. I wasn’t contracting or cramping or anything but they just let me stay there. I ended up going into labor naturally which I don’t have the statistic verified but he told me that only 20% of people will go into labor with Cervadil alone. Most people need Pitocin or something else and some other intervention to actually cause labor. 

But my labor started. Again, he didn’t give me Pitocin which again, I’m grateful for. I was contracting all day. I have a pretty low pain tolerance so I had requested something for pain. They gave me an IV pain medication that I didn’t really like. It worked for a little bit but also made me feel a little strange.

The nurses were like, “Okay, instead of getting more of the pain medicine, we recommend that you get the epidural.” This was about 12 hours after the contractions started.” I did get the epidural. I was still only a 1 at this point. They checked me after the epidural and he broke my water without really telling me that that’s what was happening. It just kind of happened. 

He broke my water and then I pretty much immediately went to 5 centimeters after he did that within the hour. I was like, “Okay, cool. It’s finally happening. I’m at 5 centimeters. I don’t feel any pain from the contractions. I have this epidural that’s working maybe even too good,” because I couldn’t even wiggle my toes but baby’s heart rate started dropping. 

This was a back and forth, “Are we going to have a C-section? No. Just kidding. You’re fine. You can push later on. You’ll dilate about a centimeter an hour,” is what they told me. But then they also had me come in and sign a consent form for a C-section. They put oxygen on me and repositioned me a little bit then they just called the C-section. 

We went to the OR that I had not even toured during our hospital tour because I was like, “I don’t need to see that. I won’t need a C-section so I don’t need to see what the OR looks like,” but then I ended up in there. 

My husband was in the hallway waiting to come in and the anesthesiologist was super supportive. She could tell I was losing it. 

They brought him in and the procedure itself went fine. There were no complications. Baby came out healthy. She had a cord wrapped around her foot twice which the doctor said he thinks maybe was why she didn’t come down, but I’m not sure. 

They took her over to the warmer and did all of her checks and everything. It felt like she was over there forever. Then they brought her swaddled over to me. We did the little cheek-to-cheek skin-to-skin. We got our classic C-section family photo on the OR table with our scrub hats on and then my husband and daughter left the room and they finished putting me back together. 

Then they took me to recovery which I was in there by myself. I had really bad shakes from the hormones or epidural. I’m not sure but I was shaking like crazy. That felt like I was in there forever by myself and then they finally brought her to me. She latched right away so at least I got to breastfeed her but we completely missed our golden hour. 

Meagan: Yeah, and you were let alone. 

Grace: Yeah, I was alone. 

Meagan: In a very scary time. 

Grace: Yes. The nurse wasn’t really talking to me. She was charting and stuff which I get that you’ve got to chart but I felt very alone in this recovery room. 

All that being said, everything did go okay. It still did not feel great that I had to have a C-section instead of my planned birth. I had my birth plan and everything. 

The next morning, the doctor did come in and he told me that for my next baby, I would have to have a C-section. He was like, “You can do all of the research that you want and the statistics are small, but I still would not let you have a trial of labor. You would be an automatic C-section.” 

Meagan: Did he actually say, “The statistics say this but for you, no.” 

Grace: No, it wasn’t just me. That’s how he practiced. 

Meagan: He just doesn’t support VBAC. 

Grace: Yes and he told me that a friend’s wife tried to VBAC and had some kind of complications. I don’t know how it ended so it also sounded like it was a personal thing. He didn’t do them for personal beliefs. 

Meagan: Yes. 

Grace: He left the room and that’s when I found your page. I started searching VBACs and how I could have one. I was so discouraged not being able to deliver vaginally. I was like, I’ve got to at least inform myself and see if I can find a way to do it and how to go about it. Knowledge is power so I wanted to know as much as I could going into it. 

I had my daughter. You’re busy with a baby so I didn’t do too much research in between. I just saw that it is ideal to wait 9 months before you get pregnant. I did find out I was pregnant at about 13 months postpartum and this was actually two days after I got offered a job as a labor and delivery nurse so I had a little bit of excitement all at once. 

13 months postpartum, and the whole time my husband after he saw my recovery was like, “Okay. I will do whatever I can to help you have a VBAC,” because he knew it was very hard on me. 

I found a doctor. I just was like, I’ll just see doctors and feel them out. My first doctor I saw was super VBAC-supportive. He said that they do them all the time. I’m a great candidate so I was like, Okay. I’ll stick with these guys.

My husband did a bunch of research too. He was looking up why people get induced and why you may or may not want to get induced to avoid a C-section and all of these things. He was my biggest cheerleader and came to appointments with me and was making sure our provider was as supportive as we needed him to be to try and make this happen. 

I also became obsessive. I was listening to the podcast all of the time on my way to work. If work was slow, I’d throw in an AirPod and do laps around the unit to be moving and hear the podcast. I was listening to it in the shower all the time and I found it really helpful just hearing other women’s stories. 

This pregnancy went by pretty complication-free. I did have some bleeding in the beginning which was just a subchorionic hematoma and they weren’t concerned about it. I actually didn’t tell people at work that I was going to VBAC because our hospital doesn’t allow for VBACs because we don’t have in-house anesthesia or OBs. 

I didn’t tell them and I didn’t want them to know I was trying. They would even ask me, “Oh, are you scheduling your C-section?” I’m just like, “Oh, I haven’t scheduled it yet.” I just kept working. At 37 weeks, I started anything I read online that could make labor happen. I was doing it. I was having the raspberry leaf tea, pineapples, the dates, walking, evening primrose oil. I was doing everything you could do to get my cervix ready to have a baby. 

At 39 weeks, we went to an appointment. I did start losing my mucus plug which made me very excited that something was happening on its own. At this appointment, I had a different provider. This practice had multiple doctors that could potentially be on when you deliver so you are supposed to see them all. 

I saw a different provider this time. He checked me. I was just a fingertip. They were going to maybe do a membrane sweep at this appointment, but he was unable to and then he mentioned, “Okay, if you get to 41 weeks, we’ll talk about scheduling your induction.” I was like, “Whoa. I thought we weren’t doing all that.” They seemed VBAC-supportive during the whole pregnancy and at the end flipped the switch and I felt like I was like, Oh no, I’m stuck. I’ve been seeing them the whole time. Now he’s going to try and push an induction on me. 

I left that appointment feeling worried. After that, my husband was like, “You should just chill out. Stop obsessing over all the things.” I had a checklist that said, “Eat your dates. Eat your pineapple. Go for a walk.” It was all of the things and it was causing me more stress than actually letting my body do anything on its own. 

I stopped. I even stopped listening to the podcast. I was just like, Okay. Whatever happens happens. I went on maternity leave too so that no one on work would ask me. I just took my leave early. Then on my due date, I went in. I was dilated to a 1 which was incredible news for me and 50% effaced. 

I was like, Wow. After all that Cervadil, nothing happened and this time, something is actually happening. He was able to do a sweep at this appointment. We did an NST too. He just said, “It’s protocol. Once you hit your due date, they do NSTs.” I felt great. I contracted and cramped all night. I was like, Maybe it’s happening, but this was just the start of some prodromal labor that went on and off for a while. 

I went into an appointment on Monday after that Friday and he said, As long as I agree to just keep coming in for NSTs, he said that he would let me go as long as I need to. They weren’t worried about induction. It was a healthy pregnancy. They weren’t worried about his size or anything like that. 

He did another sweep that Monday. That also caused me to cramp and contract. I was hand expressing as well to try and get my milk supply to come in. I was regularly contracting. I shouldn’t say regularly but it was happening and so I thought that at my next appointment, I’m going to be really dilated because this is all happening. Everything is really happening now. 

I went into my next appointment. This was a different provider again, a woman. She checked me and I was a 2 which was exciting as well. She said that she wasn’t able to do a sweep because the other doctor already did it and her fingers weren’t long enough so it wouldn’t be effective. 

Meagan: What? 

Grace: I was like, “Okay, whatever you say.” Then she sat down and asked, “If you do have to have a C-section, what is your mental state going to be because it is a possibility?” I knew it was but at this point in my pregnancy, I just didn’t want to hear the words “C-section”. I told her I would probably be okay. My eyes are wide open. I know it’s a possibility but I would feel pretty discouraged that I wasn’t able to have a VBAC. She told me if I did have a VBAC, I wouldn’t be able to pick up my daughter for at least two weeks so that really also freaked me out. 

Meagan: If you did have a VBAC? 

Grace: Oh no, I’m sorry. If I had the C-section, I would have to wait at least two weeks to pick her up. 

Meagan: Okay. Like a weight restriction. 

Grace: I’m sorry, yeah. She was like, “You don’t want to pop your incision,” which makes sense but I’m like, “I’m already bringing a new brother into her life and now I’m not going to pick her up.” That really scared me so I wanted to have my VBAC. 

So after this appointment, I was 41 weeks when I went to this appointment. That night, I had been contracting starting around 8:00 PM pretty regularly but they were spaced apart 5-7 minutes and then around midnight, the contractions became 3-4 minutes apart. They told me I could go to the hospital when they were 5, but I was worried that it would slow down my labor so I waited a little bit longer. I went in and out of the shower. I took a moment to hold my daughter and lay with her for a little bit thinking, Okay, we’re going to bring a baby home soon. It’s happening.

We called my in-laws around 4:00 in the morning to come over because they were regularly 3-4 minutes apart for quite a few hours. They came over at 5:00. We got to the hospital at about 6:00 and it did happen. My labor slowed down. The contractions went to 6 minutes apart. When I got there, I was only 2 centimeters which I was in the office in the morning so I was like, How is this possible? I just contracted for all these hours and nothing happened? I did efface a little bit more. I was 70%. 

They said, “We’re just going to watch you for a little bit. We’re not going to send you home.” Of course, it started snowing when it had been 70 degrees all week. That’s the midwest. They said, “We’ll just wait. We’ll watch you. Hang out here. It’s snowing. We’ll see what happens.” I was just sitting on the yoga ball already pretty exhausted because I had been up all night. 

Then at 9:00 AM, the doctor came in and she was like, “Okay, I’m going to break your water.” The nurse was like, “Hold on, we don’t have an IV. We were just watching her. Let’s get some other things in place before you break the water.” Before she did break the water, I was very hesitant about them doing that because I wanted it to happen naturally. I didn’t want them to force anything and then be put on a timer because at our hospital, if your water is broken for x amount of hours, then it becomes, “Okay, we’ve got to get this baby out.” I didn’t want that. 

She said, “No.” They wouldn’t be worried. They might start worrying if I developed symptoms of infection but that still wouldn’t necessarily mean I would have to have a C-section. They would just treat the infection. I did let her break the water and they checked me six hours later. Again, I didn’t make any change but the contractions had been more intense for me so I ended up getting the epidural about a half hour after that at 3:30. 

Once I got the epidural, I was feeling good. They told me they wanted to start Pitocin. I was hesitant about that as well because it does increase your risk of uterine rupture not that the percent is that high, but I wanted to avoid it if I could but they told me I would be on a different protocol because I’m a TOLAC patient so they would go low and slow. They would start at a 1 and keep it slow. 

Anytime they did go over 2 though, baby didn’t like it. His heart rate would drop a little bit so they did end up turning it on and off all day but the contractions still stayed pretty spaced apart. 

Around 10:00, they did check me and I was a 4. His head was low. I was having some bloody show. They shut off the Pitocin because the contractions were every minute apart. 

Meagan: Oh, that’s a little close. 

Grace: Yeah. I don’t know. I couldn’t tell because I had an epidural but they also placed the IUPC and they did an amnioinfusion which we don’t really do much at our hospital so I was pretty unfamiliar with it and she explained that they wanted to just replace my fluid because I had been ruptured for a while and baby needs some fluid to come down and help me dilate so they did that. I feel like I had all of these wires going everywhere. 

After a little bit, I did end up getting a fever. They gave me some IV antibiotics so with all of these things happening at my hospital, I would have been a C-section for sure. I could tell they were very VBAC-supportive. They came in and repositioned me so frequently because his heart rate would drop. The nurse was in there all night. I was like, This poor nurse is in here every 5 minutes repositioning me or doing something for me. 

Around 1:00 in the morning, I felt such intense pressure. My epidural had worked really well, but I was feel all that pressure of his head. She didn’t want to check me because she said, “We don’t want to be in there too much because,” 

Meagan: You already had a fever, yeah. 

Grace: They waited, but this pain and pressure was pretty intense for me. I was crying through the contractions. It felt like my body was pushing for me. I was like, “Can you please check me? I know that you don’t want to but I’m feeling like something is happening.” I ended up throwing up which could also be baby is getting ready to come out. 

They did check me at 6:00 in the morning. I was 10 centimeters. She called the doctor to let her know and said– this was also the doctor who I had my last appointment with who didn’t sound super on board with me having a VBAC. 

Meagan: The short-finger one? 

Grace: Yeah, little fingers. 

Meagan: Little fingers. 

Grace: I was like, I really hope she’s not on. They were like, “She’s on for 24 hours.” I was like, “Okay.” She was the one. She was like, “Let her do a practice push then I’ll be in there soon.

At this point, I had been in so much pain from the pressure all night that I was like, “I don’t even think I can push him out.” I’m a first-time mom basically because it’s my first vaginal birth and I could be pushing for 2-3 hours. I was like, “I don’t know if I have it in me.” I said that to my husband. I was like, “I don’t know if I can push.” He was like, “Don’t be discouraged. If you have to have a C-section, you have to have a C-section.” That lit a fire in me. I was like, “No. I did not just go through 31 hours of labor to call it quits. I’m going to at least try to push and see what happens.” 

I do one practice push and the little guy’s heart rate drops and doesn’t recover for 6 minutes. Everyone is rushing in– the doctor, the hospitalist doctor, all of the nurses. They were like, “Don’t be discouraged. You did everything you could but we’re probably going to have to have a C-section.” The doctor goes, “I think your uterus is rupturing.” I’m like, “Okay, that’s scary. Don’t tell me that.” I’m like, “What is even making you think that?” 

She’s making a little note in the computer. They are putting in all the orders for me to go into the OR. She said, “But if baby’s heart rate recovers in the OR, we’ll let you push in the OR but we want everyone around to make sure if we do need to have a C-section, we have the whole staff ready to go.” 

They wheeled me in, were giving me meds in the hallway while I’m on the way in there. The nurses were super comforting though. One of the nurses told me that she tried to TOLAC with her second and ended up having a C-section and that it’s nothing to be ashamed of which it’s not. I just really wanted to do it. I felt like up until that point, I did everything I could. 

They wheeled me into the OR and the anesthesiologist said he partially blocked me. He gave me ⅓ of the dose that they would give for a C-section but I felt very numb. I could not feel the contractions. I couldn’t feel my legs, nothing. 

They hooked me up to the monitor and his heart rate recovered miraculously. He was in the 150’s. They said they wanted me to push. I also had already thrown in the white flag mentally and said, “I don’t know if I can push. I’m scared now.” I froze up. I was like, “I don’t want to have a C-section. I don’t want to push. I’m just in this limbo right now of I don’t know how we’re going to get this baby out.” They told me that they wanted to use a vacuum. 

Initially, I was like, “I don’t really want you to use a vacuum,” but the hospitalist said that it would  help us get baby out faster when I’m pushing. I did finally consent to them using the vacuum. 

So we’re in there. They nurses had to tell me when I was contracting because I couldn’t tell. They had this audio of my monitor on but they couldn’t see the strip for some reason so they were just palpating my belly to tell when I was contracting. They would say, “Okay, push now.” With four contractions and the help of the vacuum, I did push and got baby out successfully. 

Meagan: Just four? 

Grace: Just four. I know I kind of cheated with the vacuum. 

Meagan: That’s pretty dang fast though. 

Grace: 10 minutes of pushing and he came out with copious amounts of the fluid that they had replaced. I had said I wanted him to be skin-to-skin if I could. He came out good so they put him on my chest. They actually let me reach down and feel his head while I was pushing and that really motivated me to get him out. 

The nurses were so helpful and so was the doctor. I don’t think I could have pushed him out as good as I did if they weren’t literally rallying around me like, “You’ve got this. You’re doing great pushes. He’s almost there.” I got him out and I got to hold him then they said, “Let’s just take him to the warmer for a little bit. He swallowed some fluid.” They were reassuring me the whole time then they ended up letting him come back to me. I got to wheel back to the room with him with me which was so exciting for me. 

I got to breastfeed right away and we went to our postpartum room as a family. I just remember that it was such an emotional rollercoaster at the end. I prepped so much for a VBAC. Okay, just accept the fact that you’re having a C-section. Just kidding, you’re getting your VBAC. I felt like there were so many junctions where it could have been like, “Okay, we’re just giving you a C-section.” We ended up getting lucky and having the baby. I feel like I could not have done it without the nurses and the doctor and all of the information I learned from this podcast so seriously, thank you guys so much for what you do because you make such a big difference in people’s lives. 

That night, I got to pick up my daughter and lift her up and show her her new brother in the hospital. I was so happy. A month out, I’m able to move. I don’t feel like myself again, but closer than I did when I had my C-section. This all went so great and I’m so glad I got to do it. 

Meagan: I am so glad too. I am so grateful to you for being here and sharing your story with us. It’s always fun to hear that we were in people’s ears along the way. Man, it’s what we were talking about in the beginning with the odds stacked against you with this happening and it could also go to this or the baby’s heart rate drops and then they do this and then this happens. There are all of the things that could go wrong, but a lot of the way, it seemed like you were making the choices that felt best for you even when it might have been, “Hey, we’re going to come break your water,” and it might not have been exactly what you want but you ultimately felt good about it. 

So let’s talk about that. When someone comes in or if VBAC isn’t supported in this hospital and maybe that’s your only hospital, that’s a really hard one. In your hospital you work in now, you said, “If that were my hospital, I would have gone in for a C-section and they don’t support it,” so what do people do in your area when your hospital doesn’t support it?

Grace: They definitely don’t support it. They would just automatically schedule you for a repeat Cesarean and if we did get a patient in who was in labor, we would probably transfer them or we would have to make sure that the OB who was on is close enough to get there. 

In my short amount of time that I’ve been there so far, I did see one VBAC. They made an exception for her. The OB stayed overnight. 

Meagan: Wow. 

Grace: So did the anesthesiologist. She ended up VBACing and having a big baby and everything. I feel like the odds were kind of stacked against her too but other than that, they don’t try to do it and since they don’t do it, because we don’t have the resources, a lot of the staff there just doesn’t believe in VBACs and they have a lot of– like I said, I didn’t tell anybody I was VBACing but I would hear them talk about VBACs and I’m like, I can’t tell you guys that I’m doing this until I succeed at it then I can be like it is possible. 

Meagan: What did they say?

Grace: They were really glad that I got it how I wanted it. They did know that it was a rough recovery for me and I told them the C-section was really hard on me and our family so they were like, “I’m glad you got to do what you wanted.” 

Meagan: Yeah. Well, when the odds are stacked against you, and the odds are looking different for everybody. Sometimes it’s advanced maternal age, big baby measuring, over our due date, special scar, VBAC after multiple Cesareans– I mean, there are all of the things that can be stacked against us, but when you are in an area that isn’t supportive, that’s good to know that they would even transfer them and be like, “Actually, we’re going to transfer you to this hospital.” You can transfer hospitals. 

Of course, you can decide to explore home birth. You can try to find a different provider within that hospital because if that hospital is supportive but that provider isn’t supportive, there are things you can do. I’m going to have a link for a whole bunch of different blogs on ways to find supportive providers, what to do, and also how to decide if a VBAC or a C-section is right for you because I think that can be hard when you find a location that is not supportive. It sometimes is easier to just make the other decision and go along with it. 

Okay, so labor and delivery nurse. You are relatively new. 

Grace: Yes. 

Meagan: But how has it been? How do you feel like birth is in your location?

Grace: I feel like it’s good. They do a lot of inductions there. A lot of the patients, they’ll say, “Let’s induce you around 39 weeks.” Initially, my first over a month of orientation, I didn’t see a vaginal birth. I only saw C-sections. It was very common. I don’t know if I was unlucky. I don’t know. Maybe it was the shift I worked because I worked 3:00 in the morning to 3:00 PM. I’m not sure. I was like, “I’d really like to see a vaginal birth because I–”

Meagan: Am hoping for one. 

Grace: Exactly. I was pregnant then and I didn’t tell anybody but it was nice working while I was pregnant and being able to actually learn a lot more while I’m working about labor. I could watch my contraction strip and know what it means. 

It helped me have more knowledge going into my own situation and then I felt like I was pregnant forever so at the end of my pregnancy, I’m like, They were due after me and they had their baby. Everyone was over there having their babies and I was still pregnant. I was like, I’m just going to grow him as long as I can and when he’s ready, he will come out. 

Meagan: Yeah. I love that. I love that you’ve been able to learn. I think that’s one of my favorite things too just being a doula. Obviously, I’m not there actually charting those strips or anything like that but it’s been really fun to learn that strip better because we can tell baby’s position sometimes based on those charts. We’ve got coupling contractions sometimes and we know that baby is in a wonky position. 

Huge congrats to you. 

Grace: Thank you. 

Meagan: If you decide to go back to the labor and delivery route, I wish you all of the luck and I’m sure that you’ll be cheering people on and supporting and helping them along the way. 

Grace: Yes and now I can help them better because I went through a C-section and a vaginal and now I can kind of relate to all of the patients in what they might need. 

Meagan: Absolutely. Absolutely. 

Closing

Would you like to be a guest on the podcast? Tell us about your experience at thevbaclink.com/share. For more information on all things VBAC including online and in-person VBAC classes, The VBAC Link blog, and Meagan’s bio, head over to thevbaclink.com. Congratulations on starting your journey of learning and discovery with The VBAC Link.

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With her first birth, Amy hired a doula and planned to birth at a birth center. During labor, her baby kept having late heart decels which led to transferring to the hospital. At the hospital, Amy stalled at 9.5 centimeters. Baby was having a hard time descending and continued having decels. Amy chose to have a Cesarean and while she was at peace with the experience, she knew she wanted another chance at a vaginal birth. 

Amy proactively prepared for her VBAC by educating herself and working with her provider to find common ground. Her labor progressed well, Amy coped beautifully, and was able to push out her 10-pound baby! Amy talks about how recovering from birth can be difficult no matter what type of birth you have. 

Our VBAC Link Doula, Desiree, joins as Meagan’s co-host and touches on the importance of breathwork. As a licensed therapist, Amy also talks about how she uses breathwork with her own clients. 

“Practice it before you are in labor because then it’s easier to do while you’re in labor.”

Desiree's Website

How to VBAC: The Ultimate Prep Course for Parents

Full Transcript under Episode Details 

Meagan: Welcome, Women of Strength. It is an amazing day to listen to another VBAC story. We have our friend, Amy, from Massachusetts coming your way sharing her VBAC story with you. Then we have one of our VBAC Link doulas, Desiree, with us as well. Welcome, ladies. 

Desiree: Hi.

Amy: Thank you. 

Meagan: Hello. Thank you so much for being with me today. We do have that Review of the Week so I’m going to actually turn the time over to Desiree and read that. 

Desiree: Yeah, so the Review of the Week this week is provided by Ashley on the VBAC Doula course which I am very familiar with. I am so excited to read this one. Ashley says, “TOLAC/VBACs should be treated just like any other birthing person but there is certain preparation and information that needs to be offered to them. Your course covered that. The value is held in your careful recognition of how to best support our clients who are doing a TOLAC. I cannot praise you two enough for the fear-release activity. Honestly, it is something I can apply to even myself before and after birth and even in life in general. Thank you for that. It has already helped three of my VBAC clients.” 

Meagan: Oh, that’s amazing. That just gave me the chills. I love that. Fear release is so important. Women of Strength, if you are listening, we have that in our course because we truly believe in it. I think fear release in anything in life. We could just be scared to go in and take a test and fear release of that. But when it comes to birth specifically, I don’t know if both of you would agree, but we’ve got to do some fear releases and let go and also process the past, right? 

Desiree: Absolutely. Yes. I would say it’s good for everybody going into birth, but definitely, if you’re a VBAC or going for a TOLAC because you take your previous birth experiences into the room with you and if you haven’t done the work, then you are just setting yourself up for roadblocks. 

Meagan: It’s so true. I will admit that I did fear releases and I did lots of processing and I still had little bits of bouts of roadblocks in my VBA2C birth. That was really hard, but I was so grateful for the knowledge of how to do that fear release and work through it in those moments in my labor and because I had already done so much beforehand, the little roadblocks that were there even though they were roadblocks, I was able to get through them so much faster and more efficiently. 

Okay, Ms. Amy. Thank you so much for joining us. 

Amy: Sure. 

Meagan: Yes. We would love to turn the time over to you. 

Amy: Okay. So I actually gave birth to my two kids and then I gave birth in two different states. My C-section story was from when I lived in Massachusetts then I moved back to Minnesota and had my son which was my VBAC and now we are back in Massachusetts. 

Yeah, so with my daughter, I hired a doula. I gave birth and wanted to give birth at a birthing center that was outside of the hospital but it was connected to the hospital system but it was run by midwives and more holistic, more of what I was aiming for. Just like with your first births, you have all of the plans and I think partly that is some anxiety mitigation of if I feel like I have a plan then maybe I know what to expect. 

I worked with a really amazing doula. We didn’t take a birthing class through the hospital. She did that education and I was feeling relatively prepared as much as you can with a first birth. I had a week’s worth of prodromal labor. I always am very cautious. I always call it prodromal labor because I feel like the term false labor is so demoralizing when you’re in it like this isn’t real labor and I’m like, No, it is. It just isn’t progressing the way I want it to. 

Meagan: Well, but it’s still your body working. I think that’s what a lot of the time we forget. It’s not progressing the way we want but our body is still very much working and making progress behind the scenes whether or not a number of centimeters or a number of effacement is reflecting. We are still doing work and making progress. 

Amy: Yes, exactly. But my prodromal labor liked to happen only at night so I was going off of probably three or four nights of really not sleeping through the night. Again, as a first-time mom, I didn’t really know. I was up with adrenaline because I didn’t really know 100% what I was experiencing. 

I did stop going to work. I was going to work up until labor and then I just stopped going to work the last couple of days because I was like, I’m not sleeping. I’m stressed and tired.

I went into labor the night before my daughter’s due date and felt the contractions getting a little bit stronger around 10:30. I went to bed. I woke up around 12:30 and told my husband, “Okay, I think this is really actually happening now.” We labored through the night. At 4:00 AM, I called my doula. We met up at the birth center. I was already 6 centimeters. I was obviously so thrilled about that. 

I was like, “We’re going to have this baby by mid-morning. It’s going to be great.” Then they started checking her heartbeat. From the beginning, she was having a lot of decels and they kept monitoring it, monitoring it, and monitoring it for 20 minutes which again, wasn’t really the plan that I was going to be sitting in bed monitoring her heart rate the whole time. I wanted to be up and moving around but they just couldn’t get her heart rate to stabilize at that point so they moved me over to the hospital then. 

It’s a birth center but they are across the street from the hospital so they literally put me into a wheelchair and rolled me across the road. That’s when all of the interventions started. 

From there, I progressed I think to about 8 centimeters but she was having those decels off and on the whole time. Then I think we ended up getting an epidural. I wasn’t planning to but I got an epidural about that time. I don’t know what time of day this was, maybe noon just because it had been a while now. I was tired and they were like, “Maybe if you rest a little bit, we can get her into a better position or something.” 

Really, what ended up happening was because of her decels, they wanted me to be on continuous monitoring which made it so I couldn’t move around as much because the nurse didn’t know how to apply the wireless ones. That happened so it was just one thing after another and my doula was great. She was really supportive. We did try a few different positions, but it was like every time I got in a position that felt good, they were like, “Oh no, we lost her heartbeat. We have to have you move again.” 

I think the process was frustrating. I did get the epidural. I got all the way to 9.5 centimeters dilated and then we just sort of stalled. And then of course probably around 5:00, this had been close to 20 hours of labor and they were like, “Yeah, I don’t know. We could try a few more positions but I think this is just going to keep happening and now we are worried that she’s going to get distressed.” 

So it wasn’t really an emergency C-section at all. They were like, “Here’s what we think. We’ll give you a few minutes to talk about it with your husband and doula and see what you guys think.” It was definitely hard. I was discouraged and frustrated by that but at that point, I just wanted her out. Now that I’ve read, and when I was listening to The VBAC Link and listening to so many other stories where we probably could have given it more time and all of these other things, they did a C-section and they actually found that her umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck twice. 

She never really descended into the birth canal fully. She never really engaged in my pelvis. Part of me wonders if it was partly that where she had that umbilical cord and that was going to be tough for her through the birth canal. I don’t really know. But she was healthy and everything was good. 

I honestly didn’t feel super traumatized by that experience but obviously I wish it had gone a different way. That was my first birth and then about two years later, well, my daughter was 2.5 when I got pregnant with my son. I was the middle of the pandemic. It was 2020. Is that when I got pregnant? Yeah. It was the fall of 2020. 

I definitely started looking into VBAC and found your podcast and was like, I would like to really try for a vaginal birth this time around. I think what was challenging about that and as you are talking about going in with fear is that I felt like even though it was my second baby, I felt like I was going through the process like a first birth because I never pushed. I never got to that point with my daughter so I felt like I had that anxiety almost like I was going into my first birth again. 

That was hard for me, I think, mentally. But we had moved to Minnesota at that point so unfortunately, I didn’t get to use the same doula that I had before. I found another doula and I think she had a lot of knowledge and I think she did a good job but I think overall, we just didn’t connect as well emotionally. Honestly, I realized that was almost more important to me. Obviously, knowledgeable and certified is good but not feeling like we were always connected, I struggled with that at times. 

Meagan: Sorry, not to interrupt you but I was just going to say that can impact the way you are feeling and walking into any experience so that connection is really, really key. 

Amy: Yes. Yeah. I’m a therapist. That’s my job and so obviously, I say that to my clients all the time about therapy too. I never got to the point where I was like, Oh, maybe I should look for somebody else, but I think looking back, sometimes I wish I had. But during the labor and stuff, I think she was great. Yeah. It was different than my first time. 

So yeah, I did a lot of research about Spinning Babies. My doula helped me with some of those exercises. It was stuff I was aware of before, but I didn’t look into it as much. Then one of the things I was curious around because when I had my C-section, my OB was like, “Oh, well you have a flat pelvis so it is going to be hard for you to ever have a baby vaginally” is what she said to me. 

My doula was like, “Well, you know. Around pelvis shapes and stuff like that, that’s a very gray area. Generally speaking, we don’t subscribe to that because your pelvis is moving and it isn’t a shape.” But I was curious about that so I looked into that through Spinning Babies and some of those other resources and about how babies engage in your pelvis and how does baby engage to progress labor.

Meagan: Yeah, different stages. The baby can be in sometimes different– I mean, we all have different shapes of pelvises so the baby has to come in different positions and sometimes that even means posterior so sometimes we do all the things to avoid posterior babies, and then our babies still go in posterior but that’s actually because of the way our pelvis is shaped or the way it was that day that our babies needed to get into the pelvis in that position. Sometimes they can kind of hang up until we find those positions that can help them navigate down. 

Amy: Yes. I mentioned that to my doula and we both did some research on it because I think that was part of the issue with my daughter. There wasn’t a consistent engagement. Even though my labor progressed for the most part, I was sort of wondering about that. I also was– I can’t remember when this exactly happened but I think around 32 weeks, I started measuring big. Of course, my OB who I would say was VBAC tolerant. I wouldn’t say she was VBAC-supportive. I did like her quite a bit but she was like, “Okay, your baby is measuring big and because of your history–” she goes through the whole, “here’s your percentage of having a successful VBAC.” 

I’m 5’9”. I’m larger. I’m not a petite person so even if I had been, I don’t subscribe to that because of listening to VBAC podcasts and stuff, your body can birth a large baby, but also, I wasn’t as worried about it because I know that sometimes those projections are completely off and so it was part of that process of learning to respectfully disagree with a medical professional who I did have respect for and did feel like they had some expertise but to say that we don’t have to agree on everything for me to work with you. 

That was a huge turning point for me just in my life in general working with medical professionals of, I don’t have to completely throw everything you say out the window but I also don’t have to agree with everything that you say and we can respectfully disagree on that issue. 

So I was like, “Respectfully, I’m not going to schedule a C-section at that point.” She didn’t pressure me at all. She was like, “I understand. Let’s move forward with the plan.” That’s what we did. I think that was empowering. As we moved closer to my due date, he was big. I was not sure at the time, but I was like, I’m going to go into labor early. That was a mental block for me. Then as it gets closer and closer and closer to my due date, I’m going out of my mind just losing patience. I’m not a good, patient-waiting person as it is so I’m having prodromal labor for the whole week before my due date and at that point, I actually did schedule a C-section for the following week because I needed mentally an out-date. 

That was what it was in my mind of, Okay. If this goes on for another week, I have an out, even though that’s not what I wanted. I think honestly mentally, it took a weight off my shoulders which is counterintuitive to what you would think when everything in me was working toward this VBAC then I was like, No. 

A couple of days before he was born, I needed that second date in my mind somewhere. 

Meagan: Well– oh, sorry. Go ahead, Desiree. 

Desiree: I was going to say I think it actually makes a lot of sense. You say it’s counterintuitive, but you’re right. We spend so much time and energy thinking about achieving our VBACs and having our babies. Sometimes having– well, even if I don’t do all the things, I can still have my baby and then relaxation happens. That’s when we see labor starting to take off for a lot of people. 

Amy: Yep. Yeah, I definitely think that was a piece of the puzzle. Yeah, and I think it was helpful.

So yeah, I’m trying to think of how this went. Yeah, so we were doing some Spinning Babies things. We did some side-lying releases all throughout the pregnancy and then on June 4th which was actually my son’s due date, having prodromal labor all week and then I felt like there was a little bit more intensity in the contractions I was having that morning so I sent my daughter off to her grandparents’ and was like, Okay. I’m just going to focus today. I’m going to focus on getting my body in gear. 

It wasn’t that I was in this mindset of, I’m going to make myself go into labor today, it was just this intuition around I needed to be able to focus on what was going on. We had that plan that my daughter would go stay with her grandparents while I go into labor and I thought that maybe she was just going to go earlier than I thought she would because I wasn’t in any kind of active labor. 

Then I had my doula come over at 10:00 AM and we did more different exercises. I can’t remember all of the ones we did because what would happen was that I would have contractions 15 minutes apart, 15 minutes apart and then they would just stop and that would be the end of it and then the next day, the same thing. Or they would be 10 minutes, 12 minutes, 20 minutes– nothing consistent so what we found was if I laid on my left side in the flying cowgirl position, then my contractions were more intense and more consistent. It was again this think of, in my mind I was like, While I’m in active labor, I’m going to be walking around and trying all of these different positions and all of this different stuff, and what I ended up doing is honestly just laying in bed and watching TV in that position almost all day. 

So again, it was this thing of that’s not what I’ve heard is helpful or whatever but I just think that was where he needed to be to engage in my pelvis at that stage. Then every hour or so I’d get up. I’d do curb walking. I would just get out, walk around, and be active but it was way more laying down than I ever planned to do. You hear that’s not how you get your body engaged in labor, but that was what worked for me so that was an interesting, Release what you think is going to work for you and do what your body is telling you is working for you. 

But it was actually kind of nice. It was relaxing. My daughter wasn’t there. It was the summer. We had the air conditioning on in that room. My husband brings me a bubble tea or whatever and I was like, This is actually not so bad. This is okay. Contractions were probably 15, 10 minutes apart that whole day then in the evening is when it ramped up. I turned toward active labor and we called my doula again at 8:00 PM and the contractions were very intense. I was leaning on an exercise ball. My husband was trying to do some counterpressure to get me through it and then she did– and again, this is something where my doula and I were not always on the same page, but I was explaining to her my contractions. 

“They are about a minute and half long. They were maybe 7-8 minutes apart,” and the first thing she said was, “Oh, well that contraction isn’t long enough to progress you at all,” or something like that. She said something about my labor process and it was so discouraging because I felt like I had taken so long to get to that point that when she said that, I was like, Oh, so all of this was for nothing. 

I know that’s not what she meant but I remember just feeling very discouraged by that comment. So that was tough. Then she did the abdominal lift and tuck. I do feel like that helped get my son into my pelvis and more engaged in my pelvis because from that point, contractions were two minutes apart. They were very intense. 

I ended up signaling. I was like, “I’m ready to go to the hospital.” We agreed to labor at home as long as possible, but I was like, “I think this is the time.” Again, my doula was like, “I think we should wait longer.” My contractions were two minutes apart at that point and I was like, “I don’t think we should. I want to go.” I’m glad we did actually because that ended up being the right time. But I remember rolling into the hospital at 12:01 AM and I remember my husband saying, “Well, I guess we’re not going to be having the baby on his due date,” because my daughter was born on her due date. I was in active labor on my son’s due date and then we just missed it. I remember being like, “That’s true. We’re not going to make it but that’s okay.” 

So yeah, we walk into the hospital and go through triage. My water breaks while we are in triage and of course, they bring out their little testing stick and they’re like, “We’re going to make sure this is actually your water breaking.” I was like, “Okay, but I’ve never wet myself during a pregnancy. This is what it is.” Then we go back in the labor and delivery room and the doctor who is on call is not my doctor. 

I find out later that this is the most anxious, not-nice-to-work-with OB in that practice. So that was tough. I could tell from the beginning she was just very brusk. She didn’t have a great bedside manner at all. She was like, “I see that he’s measuring big so we’re going to make sure that–” she was really worried about shoulder dystocia. I was very glad again that I had read up on that and that I was not concerned about that. 

So she was like– they had big birthing tubs there but they don’t let you birth in them. They just let you labor in them. I was in there and feeling like I wanted to push for a while and I remember I went to the bathroom and she comes in the room and she’s like, “Well, let’s get you on the table.” I’m like, “I’m just going to the bathroom.” I don’t know if she thought that I was going to try to have the baby without her or something, I don’t know. Her whole vibe was very anxious. That was hard. That was definitely discouraging. 

I think at that point, I actually had asked for an epidural. Both times, I asked for an epidural at transition and then once I’m through transition, I’m fine. They didn’t come in time and they checked me and I was already at 10 centimeters so they were like, “Okay, it’s time to push. We don’t have time for the epidural.” I’m like, “Okay, this is what it is.” That was okay and then I pushed for about an hour on my back which was again, not my choice but the OB was like, “No, I need to be able to see what’s going on. I don’t want you in any other position,” because again, she was so worried about shoulder dystocia and him being big. 

Halfway through pushing, she was like, “Okay, you can try on all fours.” But at that point, I was so exhausted that I couldn’t even imagine myself getting on all fours. I was like, “That ship has sailed.” That was tough because I had planned the whole time to try to push at least for a little while on all fours because again, knowing about big babies and how that can be a really good position for that, but I just didn’t feel like I could advocate for myself. 

I don’t know. In both of my births, when I get in labor, I go very inward. I think having a doula was great, but both times I don’t think my doula was super outwardly advocating. But again, maybe they were looking for a signal from me and I was just in my own world. It was okay though. I pushed for an hour. He came out just fine. It was that euphoric moment of, Oh my gosh. That just happened. That was crazy. 

Having only pushed for an hour felt great with my first vaginal birth. They took him out and they weighed him and he was 10 pounds, 4 ounces. 

Meagan: Yeah!

Amy: Yes. It was so funny because the nurses were trying to guess. They were like, “9 pounds. He’s big.” Yes. I felt great and actually, it was funny. The next morning, my OB came in. She was on then. She comes in and she goes, “Well, he was big.” I was like, “And I did get him out, so we were both right.” We were able to laugh about that. 

Meagan: I love that you said that. Like, “Hey, I was right too.” 

Amy: Yes. Yes. Yeah, and I felt like it was a good ending. I felt like she was like, “Yep, you’re right. You did.” I did tear. I had two second-degree tears which again was maybe not as bad as I expected with a baby that size, but it was no fun. I think that’s the other thing that I talk about often is either way, with a C-section or with that kind of a birth, I felt like it took me about two weeks to be able to feel like I could even walk normally. I think the difference with the vaginal birth is that I do feel like I made improvements every day where I gradually got better whereas with the C-section, it was really hard for two full weeks and then it was like then I felt better. 

It was a different recovery but I would say– and I think other people have talked about this here before but either way, it can be a tough recovery. 

Meagan: For sure. For sure. 

Amy: It’s hard because my sister had two vaginal births and her second one, she was up and walking. We walked a mile when she was two weeks postpartum and I’m like, gosh. I couldn’t even walk down the block at two weeks postpartum after my son. I think obviously not to compare yourself one or the other but I had a big baby and there was some trauma down there and that takes time as well. But it was a great feeling and I think that obviously, it ended up really good. 

Yeah. That’s my story. 

Meagan: I love it. Thank you for sharing it and congratulations. I think that it’s so hard to sometimes have providers who will meet you in the middle. It sounds like you both met in the middle along the way and I think in a perfect world, I just wish that this would happen where providers would meet us a little bit more but there are so many providers who won’t even come in. 

We talk about it all the time with finding the right provider and if the provider is not right for you and if they are not willing to budge at all and meet you in the middle or be a part of the conversations where you were saying things and she was like, “You know what? Okay. Okay. Let’s go back to the original plan then.” She said her piece. She said her suggestions. You were like, “No. I don’t feel comfortable with this. This is not what I want,” and she was willing to be like, “Okay. Okay. All right. Let’s go back to that original plan.” 

Look what would have happened if you weren’t able to advocate and stand up for yourself and be like, “Actually–”, it could have been a very different outcome. 

Amy: Yes. Yes. For sure. 

Meagan: Desiree, do you have anything to share on that just as a birth worker or anything to share as far as tips go when we’ve got situations like that where maybe it seems like it could get really combative but it doesn’t have to be? 

Desiree: Yeah. I mean, I just want to commend you, Amy, for being able to voice your opinion in that way because I think that’s really hard for a lot of us to stand up in spaces with doctors who we think are in a position of authority. Yes, they have experience, but no one lives in your body. No one has the lived experience of your body except you. That makes you an equal expert in what’s happening. 

I think it’s great that providers bring advice and recommendations and they have a plan for what they want to see, but I think a truly great provider does meet you at least halfway. Ideally, you’re right Meagan, they’re coming a little bit more than halfway, but I mean, it’s nice to hear that your provider was willing to listen to you and follow your plan and probably have hers in her back pocket as the fallback. But that’s just great that you were able to advocate for yourself in that way. 

It doesn’t always have to be combative, right? It can be as simple as, “Thank you for your advice. I appreciate your expertise. This is what I’d like to try and if it doesn’t work, then we can try something else.” 

Amy: Yeah. I think that I was feeling anxious about that too and this big realization of, I do. I like her. I trust her as a doctor. I feel like we’re on the same page, but that doesn’t mean that I have to agree with everything she says and it also doesn’t mean I have to fire her and find a new provider. 

Again, there is a happy medium there. You’re right. I was taught that doctors have this authority. They know. They go to years of schooling. Of course, they do. But also keeping in mind that their worldview and perspective might be very different and the lens that they are looking at this through is very different than mine and how do I keep this in mind that they have this medical perspective of what they’ve seen. They’ve seen the worst of the worst medical scenarios but also to keep in mind that there’s this whole other worldview around that so that ws helpful for me. 

Meagan: Yeah. That was definitely something that stood out to me with your form. It was, “Disagreeing with a provider doesn’t mean that you can’t work with them.” You said it in your story too. That is so, so true. It doesn’t mean we can’t work with them and if it gets to a point where it’s like, “Okay, there is no working with this,” and it is actually not working, then we can make a different choice. We can change things up, find a different provider, look at our VBAC Link provider list, and see if there is someone else. 

But if you can work with it and everything is feeling good and there are a couple of things but we are working together, that is so great. That is so great. 

Amy: Yeah. 

Meagan: Awesome. Well, I just wanted to let Desiree share a couple of tips. I love when we have our VBAC Link doulas come on because it’s so fun to get different tips and different perspectives from other doulas around the world. Desiree is in California with Be_Earth_Mama. Is that right? 

Desiree: Yeah. My husband gives me a hard time about this all the time because I guess nobody gets it but it’s Birth Mama. 

Meagan: Oh, I thought it was Be Earth Mama. 

Desiree: That’s what he says. 

Meagan: That makes so much sense, so much sense. She is in California. Remind us exactly where in California because California is ginormous. 

Desiree: California is ginormous. I am in the San Francisco Bay Area so Northern California. 

Meagan: And you do birth and education. 

Desiree: I do birth and education primarily. 

Meagan: You do webinars and all the things, right? 

Desiree: I do webinars. I do online classes. I teach in-person classes. I’m getting ready to start a prenatal belly dance class that I think is going to be in-person for now but might go to virtual if there is an interest so all things birth preparation essentially. That’s my niche. 

Meagan: Really, really cool. Awesome. I know there were a couple different topics that you were talking about and I was like, ooh. Breathing and active relaxing. Tell us all the things. 

Desiree: Yeah, it’s one of my favorite topics and I feel like it’s one that is on the list but it’s low on the list because you think about breathing. Why do you need to practice breathing? You just naturally do it but if you’ve been in labor, you know that when that intensity starts to pick up, breathing is the first thing that goes out the window so having a strong breathing practice is the first step to staying really calm and grounded in labor. 

But even beyond that, I think having a practice is about the process and I think especially for me in my VBAC journey, it sounds like Amy was sort of like this where contractions start and they stop and they start and you are in this waiting game. Is your body going to do the thing or is it not going to do the thing? What’s wrong? I feel like having the practice to fall back on gives you a way to stay grounded and centered in your body as you are waiting for labor. 

So it’s two-fold. Keeping your body nice and relaxed while you’re actually working through labor but giving yourself the time to be nourishing yourself in those last precious days and weeks leading up to labor I think is almost more important. 

Something that I work with all of my clients on is having an established breathing practice. It’s not about the breathing technique because there are so many different ones out there. There is the up breathing. Up breathing is my favorite, breathe in for 4, exhale for 8. There is box breathing where you breathe in for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4, and hold that for 4 counts. 

And for some people, it’s just simply breathing as slow and controlled as possible. I think it’s about finding something that feels natural and intuitive to you that you can lean into but it’s about finding time and practicing really dropping into your body and dropping out of everything that’s going on around you and playing into your senses with that. That’s something I like to talk about to my clients is hacking your body. Building muscle memory because it’s so hard to relax and stay calm when you’re going through surges, the contractions are really building, and telling you to stay relaxed is not really going to work. Nobody wants to hear that. 

But if you have this practice and if you’ve built in sensory cues– I like recommending people to pick a birth scent either an essential oil or a candle or a lotion, picking a song or a sound, it could be even a meditation track and setting aside just 2-3 minutes every day to run through whatever your breathing technique is with your scent or your sound, maybe you have something to hold onto and practice just actively relaxing every single part of your body through the process of breathing when you get into labor, your body is going to remember that once you launch into this breathing routine and you put on your birth scent and you have your sound or your meditation track playing, your body is naturally going to relax because you’ve told it that that’s what this time is for. 

I think it’s a really special thing that we can do for ourselves to give ourselves this time and this practice where we are just nourishing the deepest parts of us. It’s of course helpful for labor, but I think it’s also a helpful practice to take into postpartum and into parenthood. I can say I’ve been doing this for 5 years. My oldest daughter is 5 years old and I still do it every day. I have to run through my breathing practices. Yeah. I think it’s especially important for VBAC mamas to have this type of self-care routine. 

Meagan: Yes. Oh my gosh. I love that so much. Like you said, it just becomes intuitive if we can practice this so much and instill this into our lives, it just becomes intuitive in that labor journey. There are going to be times where we were talking about roadblocks and stuff earlier, but those might come in and breathing in itself is something that can get us through those things. When you talked about the box breathing, I’ve done that before and I have this weird thing when I do box breathing. My body moves and I’m creating a square. 

Desiree: I do too. We don’t have our cameras up, but I have to do the square. 

Meagan: Same. I do a square. I literally draw a square with my whole body and my torso and everything looks like a tree swaying in the wind and I can just feel it. I literally, the relaxation from head to toe just comes in. Like she said, there’s not any specific way. You don’t have to choose one way. You can use them all. You can use anything, just really, really, really having active relaxation practices before you go into labor is so good. 

And I think it can help along the way. Even when we have a provider who comes at us with, “Hey, we’re going to meet you in the middle,” it still can be in our head. We can be like, Okay, she said this. I said this. This is what we’re going to do. You’ve just got that whole conversation and it’s just that you’re breathing through that and you’re processing that and you’re going to apply it later on in labor. I don’t know. I just love breathing so much. 

Desiree: I do too. I think it’s the most important tool that we have that everybody has. It’s the most powerful tool that’s available to us. 

Meagan: We have to do it to live. 

Desiree: Mhmm. 

Meagan: We just have to. It’s intuitive. We have to do it and we talk about intuition here and tuning into our intuition. If we are really, really tuning into our intuition, that breathing is part of that. Then our minds and our bodies can respond. 

Amy, did you ever do any breathing or anything like that? Have you ever heard about any of the things we are talking about? 

Amy: Yeah, yeah definitely. It’s something I use in my therapy practice a lot. 

Meagan: I was wondering if you did. 

Amy: I work with college students primarily so this is a lot of time for some of them that they are facing some of this but I love what you were saying Desiree about practicing ahead of time because that’s what I’ll say. They’ll be like, “Oh my gosh. I had a panic attack. I practiced your breathing and it didn’t work.” I was like, “Did you practice that ahead of time?” When you’re in crisis, it’s hard to do it then. But if you’ve practiced it before and cued your body to that place, that’s where it is so useful. 

Ironically, it was something that I didn’t use a ton during my labor process as far as intentional breathing practices. I think I wish I had because I think that would have been useful, but my doula would coach me about some forms of taking deep breaths and sort of how you are breathing through some of the surges and stuff. But yeah, I love that. 

I love the practice it before you are in labor because then it’s easier to do while you’re in labor. 

Meagan: Mhmm, absolutely. Such a powerful message. Okay, one more time, Desiree, tell everyone where they can find you. 

Desiree: Yeah. I’m on Instagram. You can find me at b_earth_mama pronounced “birth mama”. You can find me on my website which is www.b-earth-mama.com and that’s primarily where I’m at. 

Meagan: Awesome. Well, go give her a follow everybody especially if you are in California and looking for a doula. 

And Amy, thank you from the bottom of my heart for joining us today and sharing your amazing stories. 

Amy: Awesome, thanks for having me. It was great. 

Closing

Would you like to be a guest on the podcast? Tell us about your experience at thevbaclink.com/share. For more information on all things VBAC including online and in-person VBAC classes, The VBAC Link blog, and Meagan’s bio, head over to thevbaclink.com. Congratulations on starting your journey of learning and discovery with The VBAC Link.

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Adriana is a scientist and professor at New Mexico State University in Las Cruces, New Mexico. During her first pregnancy, Adriana was faced with the possibility of her baby having a severe genetic disease. She became so involved in researching the details of it that she didn’t consider the need to research her birthing options as intensely. 

However, after a long and difficult induction process which ultimately ended in a Cesarean, Adriana was left feeling like she failed as a scientist. She was determined to take charge of her next birth and apply her years of research skills to learning everything about VBAC.

Adriana went on to have a peaceful home birth surrounded by a big support system and empowered by her research. She also gives listeners tips on how to interpret published articles on VBAC and explains terms like abstracts, confidence levels, and p-values. 

“I just found the data is so strong in showing that VBAC is super safe for non-high-risk individuals. Again, having a previous Cesarean does not automatically make you high risk…I had three high-risk factors if you will and still, with those factors counted in, I knew that VBAC was really safe for me just based on the data that I found.”

Dr. Adriana L. Romero-Olivares' Website

Needed Website

How to VBAC: The Ultimate Prep Course for Parents

Full Transcript under Episode Details 

Meagan: Women of Strength, we have another amazing VBAC story for you today. This VBAC story follows a C-section that was unplanned which let’s be honest, most of ours are, and it had a lot of interventions. We have our friend– oh my gosh. I can’t speak today. Adriana, hello. 

Adriana: Hi. I’m so excited to be here. 

Meagan: Oh my gosh. I’m so excited for you to be here. Tell me. Okay, so you’re currently in Mexico. Where were you when you had your VBAC? 

Adriana: I’m in New Mexico, so the U.S. 

Meagan: Oh, you’re in New Mexico. 

Adriana: Yes, exactly. In New Mexico in the U.S. and I had both my unplanned Cesarean and VBAC here in New Mexico. 

Meagan: Oh, you did? Very good to know. You guys, she is a scientist and a professor. She spent many years researching microbes which is really cool. Do you say fungi? Is that how you say it? 

Adriana: You can say it fungi, fungi, fungi. People say it in different ways and they are all correct. 

Meagan: It’s like fungus, right? And bacteria? 

Adriana: Yes. 

Meagan: I have so much interest in that weirdly enough because it is in our gut. I have a really weird interest in gut health right now. Anyway, and how they are impacting the global climate. Something that’s kind of cool about her science journey is it really seems like it was spun after VBAC, right? 

Adriana: Yeah. I mean, I’ve had an interest in sciences forever, but I guess I had no idea how much science was behind VBAC and getting into this VBAC project that I had for a while, I feel like it really ended up helping me to grow as a scientist which was really cool. 

Meagan: So cool. We’re going to maybe talk a little bit more about the science of VBAC here in the end so make sure to stick with us. I do have a Review of the Week before she starts sharing her story. This is from eoliver14 and it says, “Love this podcast.” It says, “I’m not one to usually listen to podcasts but ever since I came across this one, I haven’t been able to stop listening. I’m preparing for my VBA2C” so VBAC after two Cesareans “and these stories have been so amazing and helpful.”

eoliver14, I hope all went well if you have had a baby since then or if you’re still preparing, I hope that this podcast is still inspiring you. And if just like eoliver14 this podcast is inspiring you and helping you and building you up, please leave us a review. We love them so much and I really truly, truly, truly believe that so do honestly all of the listeners. I think a lot of listeners love these reviews. It’s so fun. 

You can leave that at Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or really wherever you listen to your podcasts. Even if you Google “The VBAC Link”, you can review us there. 

Meagan: Let’s get going into this story. So unplanned C-section. 

Adriana: Yes. I want to give a very brief background of my life just to get into the mindset that I was when I had the unplanned Cesarean. My husband and I have been together for a really long time. We are going to celebrate our 20th anniversary this year. We met our first year of college and then we’ve been together ever since but we only had our first child in 2021. That is because we prioritized our careers for a really long time. We are both scientists. We are both professors so we did our Bachelor’s together then we did our Master’s and then we did our PhD’s together. Then we did long distance for a while because we were doing post-doctoral research which is a thing. 

Then in 2020, we both landed a job in New Mexico State University where we are right now so in August of 2020, we moved across the country from New Hampshire and from New York City to New Mexico. We sort of started our new life in a new city during the pandemic with a new and very demanding job. 

In April of 2021, which was just a few months after we moved to– we live in Las Cruces, New Mexico. When we moved here, the biggest surprise of our life happened which was that I was pregnant. It was a surprise pregnancy. 

The pregnancy was just overall uneventful in the sense that I just didn’t have any sort of discomfort or anything. I was just tired and that’s pretty much it but then when I was around 16 weeks pregnant, I got a phone call out of nowhere. I got the news and this is the way that it was told to me. They were like, “You have a 50% chance of your child having a fragile X chromosome which is a genetic disease.” 

I was like, “What? What is it? What’s that?” I had never heard about it and I was like, “50% chances? That’s pretty high.” I remember I was in my office and Jovani, my husband, was there when we got that phone call. We were just very confused then when we started to look into it, it’s actually a pretty terrible genetic disease to have so all of a sudden, our whole life shifted. 

We were very concerned. Since the very beginning of my first pregnancy, there were a lot of interventions just because I was of advanced maternal age. I was 36 at the time and after 35 you are of advanced maternal age. It doesn’t matter if everything looks good but if you are older than 35, that’s it. 

They were like, “Oh, we recommend this testing and this other testing and this other one” and so on. One of those testings was genetic testing which I think we wanted to do either way just to be prepared in case of anything. 

So then we started to look into, “What is this genetic disease?” Once again, it was pretty bad. So then yeah, it was 50% chances. That’s pretty terrible. That’s where I brought in my scientist skills. I was like, “Wait a minute.” So then I got in touch with a genetic counselor. I don’t think this is just the way it is for everyone, but the particular genetic counselor that I spoke with wasn’t really helpful even though I told them, “I’m a scientist and I have a pretty strong molecular biology background. I understand DNA and genes very well.” I was looking for very specific information and they were just not really helpful. 

So then both Jovani and I spent so much time digging into the scientific literature and trying to find information about this disease. That’s how we came about some newer testing that really looks deep into the DNA sequence that they find in your baby and then they’re able to tell very precisely what your chances are of your child having this disease or not based on the genetic sequence. 

Then we just spent a lot of time looking into that, finding that information, then advocating for my baby to get this genetic testing done because it was not something that my insurance wanted to cover. 

Long story short, after a few couple months looking into that and making calls and so on, we found a way for that testing to be done. Then when we got the results back, 50% chances were wrong. The information I got was wrong. 

Meagan: That’s some pretty wrong information to get. 

Adriana: Yes. It got me thinking how many people are probably given this information with the statistics totally wrong? So then the 50% chances when I looked into it went down to 5% chances and then when we did the additional testing, it went down to 0.1% chances. Essentially, null almost. 

Meagan: Oh my gosh. 

Adriana: Yes. Yeah. You know, even though we were very grateful for that, it sort of set this tone in my pregnancy where I was so stressed the whole time. I just didn’t put any time in researching how I have to prepare to give birth. I was just in survival mode if that makes any sense just grateful that I didn’t have to worry about the genetic disease. 

I think at around week 35, they were like, “Because of advanced maternal age, we recommend an induction at week 39.” I was like, “Okay. They’re recommending this. Let’s just go ahead and do this.” I’m a very tall person and Jovani is tall as well so we make big babies kind of. I knew the date of conception of my baby and I knew that based on that date of conception, I was going to be 40 weeks on December 31st. Then somewhere around 30 weeks, they were like, “No. Because of what your baby is measuring, your due date is actually December 22nd so then that means we–” 

Meagan: 10 days earlier. 

Adriana: Exactly. They were like, “That means we would like to induce you on December 15th.” Once again, I was like, “Fine. Yeah, sure.” So then on December 15th, we went into an induction. It is a very long story, but long story short, the induction lasted three days and nothing happened. I was given Cervadil and Cytotec and nothing happened. I didn’t dilate. Nothing. 

Meagan: Your body was really not ready. 

Adriana: It was really not ready. I was really desperate. I was like, “What’s going on? Why are things not happening?” No one was giving me any information even though I was asking, “What’s going on?” They were like, “Just relax.” I ended up asking a nurse because the doctor came in and was like, “Well, we tried Cytotec and Cervadil and it’s not working so the next thing to do is Pitocin.” He was like, “Is that what you want?” 

I was like, “I don’t know. Let me think about it.” I asked a nurse, “What do you think about me getting Pitocin?” The nurse was like, “No. No. They are setting you up for failure. You haven’t dilated at all. No. Just say no.” So then I just was desperate for any advice. I ended up saying no and I was discharged. They were like, “We’re going to discharge you but you have to come back.” It was a Saturday when I was discharged and they were like, “You have to come back on Tuesday for a second induction. But a lot of times after a failed induction, people go home and they come back in labor a few days later.” 

I wasn’t. On Tuesday, I went back. This was December 21st I think or something. So I went back for a second induction and then when I went in, I was already soft on my cervix. I felt things were advancing really well and I was excited. Then it was almost a three-day induction once again. So they started giving me the same thing. They gave me Cytotec first and they waited for a few hours then I had the Foley bulb inserted. 

It’s like a blur because there were just so many interventions. People were coming in and out of the room the whole time. I was still sort of having a hangover of the last induction because for three days I was so tired. I was so hurt. They couldn’t find my vein so then I had multiple bruises in my arm. It was just so many things. I felt kind of a hangover if that makes any sense. 

Meagan: Yeah. 

Adriana: I started dilating with the Foley bulb. It came out so at the beginning, things seemed to be going well. 

Meagan: Better. 

Adriana: Yeah, better. I was like, “Okay.” I think when I– I don’t even know how much I dilated, but at some point, the OB/GYN came in and she was like, “You know, I recommend to you that we rupture your waters just so that things start going.” I was like, “Yeah, sure. Things seem to be going well so let’s do it.” They ruptured the waters and then that was pretty much it. I don’t feel like things started happening or anything. I was getting cervical checks very, very, very often. I think that sort of messed up my head to some level. They hurt me. They are not the most comfortable things to go through. 

Meagan: Especially early on in labor.

Adriana: Exactly. 

Meagan: Right when your Foley just came out, you probably had a posterior cervix, pretty closed still. 

Adriana: Exactly, yeah. There was some bleeding going on. It was really terrible. So then a few hours after my membranes were ruptured, I think maybe the doctor could see that I was not relaxed for obvious reasons and she suggested getting an epidural. She was like, “Oh, I suggest you get an epidural because I think that would help you relax. That can speed up things.” I was like, “Okay.” So then I ended up getting an epidural and then I got one and it only worked on half of my body so then I had to get another one later on. 

After many, many, many hours, things were not happening. I did end up getting contractions after the Pitocin and the contractions, I could feel on half of my body and then eventually, I just couldn’t feel them. I could just feel the pressure. That went on for hours. I mean, I think I got the Pitocin. It started at 8:00 PM maybe or 5:00 PM and then they were increasing the dosage and then around 6:00 AM I think they had gotten to the highest dose that you can get and I was not. They checked me and I was at 5.5 or 6. 

Then the doctor was like, “Okay, we’re going to stop the Pitocin and let your body do things.” My body didn’t do anything. The contractions completely stopped once the Pitocin was removed and we waited for an hour or two and this time, my waters had been ruptured for over 24 hours so she was like, “You know, there’s nothing else we can do. We’ve tried everything. Nothing is happening. I recommend having a C-section.” 

I mean, I think when I really felt I had no other option, I was like, This is what needs to happen and what I have to do, so sure. Let’s go ahead and do it. Fortunately, it wasn’t an emergency C-section or anything. We still waited for 4 or 5 hours just sitting there waiting for I guess the team to get their act together. They took me to the OR and my baby was born around noon. 

Everything went fine. I had no complications. My baby had no complications so it was pretty nice but the recovery was so tough. It was just that something inside me didn’t feel right. I was like, “What just happened? What just happened? Why did I end up having a C-section?” I would just think about it over and over and over at night when I was nursing and when I was alone with my thoughts and so on. I was like, “What happened?” Those sorts of things and why when I asked questions why no one answered the questions. They were just treating me as if I was an uneducated person. They just didn’t want to engage and I think that’s wrong in general to everyone just the way that you are dismissed when you ask questions is pretty terrible. 

They are on a schedule and they have no time or interest in my opinion or in engaging. Then I started to think about it a little bit more and then in my mind, I was like, Well, I guess if I have another child, I can always do things differently. That was the mindset I was in for a few months. Then when I went to my 6-month follow-up appointment to check me and make sure everything was okay. I asked the doctor, “So, if I have another child, I would like to have this child vaginally so I would want to know why did I end up having a C-section? What happened? I know it was failure to progress according to your notes but what does that mean?” 

She looked at my chart for 10 seconds and she told me, “You cannot deliver vaginally because your pelvis is too small.” I was like, “What?” I was like, “No. No. That cannot be.” I know that your body doesn’t. You can have your pelvis one way and it doesn’t really mean anything based on your body but I have a pear-shaped body so I was like, “I don’t think my pelvis is too small.” So then I asked her, “How do you know that my pelvis is really small?” She was like, “Because you failed to progress.” 

She did not want to engage. She did not want to. I just left that room and I was livid. I was so angry that she did not want to engage. She did not want to have a conversation. I didn’t even know if I was going to have another child at that point but I was like, If I ever get pregnant again, I’m just not going to come here. I just kept thinking about it over and over and over. I was like, I just need to reach out to someone who can help me understand this a little bit better. 

I reached out to a local doula and asked for information about VBAC in general. I didn’t know it was called VBAC at the time. I was like, This happened to me. If this were to happen to me again, can I deliver vaginally? She invited me to a VBAC course and the course was super awesome. They shared a ton of statistics on inductions and VBACs and so on. She also suggested doing a birth story processing which was pretty awesome too. 

So then 18 months later, I got pregnant with my second child and I knew exactly what I wanted which was not what I had before. I knew that I wanted a VBAC ideally and that I wanted as few interventions as possible. I wanted a provider who would engage with me and I wanted a provider who would follow evidence-based facts and of course, a provider who was VBAC-supportive. 

I looked for all of those things around my town. We have two hospitals. It’s not a huge city and I asked around. Basically, the information that I got was that they were VBAC tolerant but because I was of advanced maternal age, probably none of them would be comfortable having me as a patient. 

So then I ended up finding a midwife practice and that was what I ended up choosing because they were all that I wanted. They were amazing and I did end up having the most wonderful experience throughout my pregnancy with them. 

Throughout my pregnancy, I did a lot of research on my options. I educated myself on physiological birth and I also took classes on a home birth. I did a bunch of other things. I did a fear-release hypnosis. I did the birth story processing which was I think one of the most helpful things that I could do throughout my pregnancy. I didn’t really think that I had trauma related to my past pregnancy or fear of any sort, but then through the birth story processing, I ended up finding out that I did have some birth trauma and I had a lot of fear for this new pregnancy associated to my experience with my last pregnancy. 

Then I did the Daily Essentials of Spinning Babies every day. I didn’t skip any day just in case position was an issue last time. I ended up getting my documents from my last pregnancy like my records–

Meagan: Your op reports. 

Adriana: Yeah. I ended up getting them actually one week before my VBAC. It was always something that I knew I needed to go get this done but then I kept forgetting. Then before my VBAC, I was like, I need to get this report and I need to read it so I can get some closure. I ended up finding out some really interesting things. This is a parenthesis. They said that my uterus was boggy when they were doing the C-section and they said that they had to take out the uterus and massage it because it was boggy. I was like, What is that? I looked into that a little bit more and I ended up finding out that my uterus was so tired from the Pitocin and the contractions that it was not working. 

That gave me some closure if that makes sense. I was like, It’s not because my body wasn’t working. It was just overtired. 

I had listened to the VBAC Link podcasts every day also. I did daily walks and you were my companion throughout those walks and just listening to all of the different stories gave me an idea that birth can go in many different directions and it helped me understand that you really have very little control over your birth experience. You can prepare all you want but then at some point, you have to let go because you can’t really control the situation. As a scientist, that is very frustrating because we are always in control of our experiments. 

But in a way, we can never control the outcome of the experiment so in a way, I was like, Okay, this is one more experiment. Yes. I did have spotting on week 18 of my pregnancy and I was diagnosed with marginal placenta previa and possible accreta so for a few weeks I was like, Well, maybe this is just not meant to be and that is okay. 

But then it ended up resolving by week 28 so I was cleared for VBAC. Throughout the pregnancy, I kept my plans secret from almost everyone including my parents and my in-laws. I told Jovani, “You are forbidden to talk about this with anyone.” As you start getting closer to your due date, people start asking questions which to me is like, why do they want to know such specific information like where are you giving birth? I never ask that but some people really want to get all the details. 

I just told him, “Just lie and tell them that it’s going to be at a hospital. Just say whatever you want. I don’t care. I just don’t want people asking questions and just getting reactions over my birthing plans and decisions.” Exactly. I don’t want to give explanations to anyone. I don’t have the energy to educate anyone at the moment. I know that I am making the right decision for me and that’s pretty much it. 

So that was really difficult keeping that information from some friends but as my due date got closer of course, we shared the information with my parents and just our families in general and our in-laws. I did share my plans with a few very, very close friends of mine. Most of them were supportive. Some of them– I guess I had to deal with some anxiety on their side. My doula helped me a lot with that because I was getting almost angry that they were anxious. My doula was like, “You have to remember that they love you and they love your baby. They are scared for you and your baby so try to understand them.” It gave me that perspective like, yeah. If I didn’t know, if I wasn’t educated enough on facts, I would probably be anxious too. 

Especially around week 35, their anxiety passed on to me and I started to have a lot of doubts about my decision. I was like, Is this the right decision? Is this really what I want? By then, I was so soaked on data and stats because I just put so much time into researching all of that, that it was how I calmed myself down. It was like, You know the data. You know the stats. You know the chances of things going wrong. Of course, there are chances of things going wrong, but the chances are so low that it’s almost impossible for this to happen. If something were to happen, okay. You were one of those improbable chances, but it was a chance that I was willing to take based on the statistics. 

Once again, that really helped me deal with the anxiety and if I would have had energy at the time, I would have been more than happy to share all the data and stats with friends and family. This is also how my husband ended up being convinced that I wanted a VBAC and that I wanted a home birth as well. I remember this one day, I think there was some sort of miscommunication between him and I at the beginning. 

At first, he wasn’t super happy that I was going with a midwifery practice but then I was like, “They are trained professionals. It’s not like Call the Midwife where she shows up with a tissue.” I was like, “No. These people come with equipment. That’s how it is.” So that calmed him down but I think he thought I was going to give birth at the hospital so then one day I was watching, I don’t know if you hear of this terrible thing that could happen with an uncertified midwife where the baby was footling breech and it was a really terrible story. 

I was watching something on YouTube and it came up and Jovani was like, “I don’t understand these crazy people who want to give birth at home.” I was like, “Hello, I’m planning to give birth at home.” He was like, “What?” So I told him, “Yes, Jovani. I am planning to give birth at home. This has been the plan the whole time.” He was like, “No, I thought it was going to be at the hospital.” I was like, “No. It’s going to be at home.” He was really, really, really nervous for a while so once again, I shared statistics and data with him. 

The midwives also were like, “Bring him in. Have him bring all the questions that he wants and we will answer them. We are here to help.” All of a sudden after a couple weeks after having that conversation, I shared a lot of resources with him. I told him, “Do you want to come with me to the midwife’s appointment so you can ask any questions you want?” He was like, “No, it’s okay.” I was like, “Oh, so you’re cool with me having a home birth?” He was like, “Yeah, if that’s what you want. I respect that. I respect your choices. I trust you as an individual and the choices that you make so that’s totally fine.” 

Giving him resources so that he could see the data I feel like really, really helped him. Then with some of my family members like my brother, for example, he was like, “Why do you want to do this? Why don’t you just, why? Why do you want to do this that isn’t the norm?” I explained to him my rationale and he was like, “Okay.” I had some other conversations. I have a family member and she is a physician and she was also like, “Why would you want to do this? Cesareans are so easy especially if they are scheduled. You just go in. You don’t suffer and then you just come out with a baby.” I was like, “Have you had a Cesarean?” Of course, she hasn’t. I was like, “It’s not really that easy. The recovery is really, really, really tough and there can be some very serious complications. If it’s needed then that’s wonderful,” but I know that I did not need one for my first pregnancy and I know that I did not need one right now. 

So then at 39 weeks, I started to feel very anxious because nothing was happening and I was very worried that I was not going to go into labor on my own because I never went into labor last time even though I know I was early. 

But I was still worried that, What if I never go into labor on my own? I’m going to start getting very nervous if I go past 40 weeks. Then at 39+5, I had prodromal labor at night so I felt excited to experience real contractions I guess for the first time. I was also very worried that I was not going to be able to go unmedicated because the prodromal labor was quite intense and I got thinking about all of these people who have shared their stories that they had prodromal labor for weeks. I was like, Oh my gosh. That’s horrible. 

I reached out to my doula and I was like, “Okay, I had prodromal labor last night. I’m very worried about not being able to handle the unmedicated birth that I want to do.” She suggested we do a welcome baby hypnosis session and to focus on relaxation so I guess once again, as a scientist, I never thought that I would be into hypnosis. It just ended up being this wonderful resource that helped me a lot during my pregnancy and during labor. 

On my due date exactly, so I woke up and noticed that I had lost what looked like pieces of my mucus plug and then within a few hours, I started having some mild contractions around 1:00 PM and then the contractions continued to get more intense throughout the afternoon and the evening. At midnight, my contractions were super intense but they were not consistent. 

I couldn’t get any sleep because of the intensity of the contractions but I did try to rest as much as possible. Around 4:00 PM, my doula checked in and she was like, “What’s going on?” I was like, “I’ve been having these contractions on and off.” I felt the contractions where you feel period cramps and they were more in my abdomen. They were so intense in that area but just according to what people said, they were like, “We could feel them in my whole belly.” I was like, “These are just weird. I don’t know. Are they real contractions or not?” Just because they were not consistent, I would get them every 3 minutes, every 5 minutes, every 7 minutes. Sometimes they would last a minute but sometimes less and sometimes more so I was just super, super, super confused and my doula told me, “You’re probably having prodromal labor again.” 

I was like, “Oh my gosh. No. This cannot be. It cannot be because I’m not going to be able to withstand this for much longer.” It had been 15 hours or so at that point. So I was tired and I hadn’t slept at all. This was around 4:00 AM so then my doula once again suggested I reach out to the midwives and ask them if I could have a cervical check. She was like, “That’s going to give you an idea of if this is actual labor or if this is prodromal labor. 

I was like, “Okay.” So then I texted my midwife. I didn’t want to call them because I didn’t want to bother them at 4:00 AM so I texted them and I was like, “Can I go to your office?” even though I don’t know why I suggested that because it would have been horrible to get in my car and drive to their office. I was like, “Can I go to your office in the morning so that I can get a cervical check?” They replied and they were like, “Yeah, sure. You can come to our office. We will see you there at 8:00 AM.” At this point, it was 4:30 AM and I think it was at 7:00. I was like, “I just don’t think I can do this for one more hour.” 

I texted them again and I was like, “Can I go to your office now? The pain is pretty intense. Can I go now?” Then one of them replied and she was like, “Actually, we can go to your house. We can go to your home and we can check you there. Are you okay with that?” I was like, “Yes, yes.” They ended up coming at 8:00 AM and they checked me. She was like, “You’re 6 centimeters dilated.” I was like, “Oh my gosh. Thank you.” I was so excited. I was like, “Oh my gosh. Yes. I knew this could not be prodromal labor for so long.” She was like, “You’re 6 centimeters dilated.” I was also leaking some amniotic fluid so she was like, “Things are about to get more intense now.” 

She offered some pain medication. I don’t remember what it was but she was like, “This is the pain medication that I can give you. Yes. It’s going to reduce the pain but it’s also probably going to slow down things. Are you okay with that?” I was like, “No. Don’t give me anything. I just want to get this over with.” I knew understanding– I feel like the first part of labor was very confusing. I was like, “Are these contractions? Are these not? Am I dilating? Am I not?” But understanding physiological birth, I knew very well that after 6 centimeters, things are about to get really intense but they are also going to be faster ideally. I guess I sort of trusted that. I was like, “Things are about to get more intense. I know that for sure and ideally, they’re going to get faster so I think I can keep doing this for a few more hours so no pain medication, thank you.”

She was like, “Okay. I’m going to check in again with you at 11:00 AM.” It was 8:00 AM at this point. She was like, “If anything happens, just let me know.” She left and I think as soon as she left, things got really intense. I lost my mucus plug and then I had bloody show and I continued to labor peacefully at home. I was just in my room quietly. My mom and my dad were here because they live out of town and I asked them to please come to support me and to help with my son, my toddler. They were here but they were in the living room so it was only Jovani and I in the room. 

I sort of continued to ride the wave. That was my main coping mechanism. I was like, “Okay. A contraction is about to happen and then I would just count and Jovani helped me with back pressure.” Sort of the next few hours are a blur again. I think I was just so focused on coping with the pain, I was just counting over and over and over. I used a comb for a little bit but just was counting and riding the wave is what helped me the most. 

At some point, my doula and her student showed up. I think Jovani texted them. I don’t know. 

Meagan: 4-1-1, come!

Adriana: Yes. They came in and they helped me. They did some massage and helped with back pressure as well. That made a huge difference. I got into the shower at some point. Huge relief to get some hot water on my belly. That really helped. Also, at some point, I had two midwives and one student midwife. At some point, they showed up as well. They started setting up the birth pool and then at some point, I noticed my contractions were not as back-to-back as they were a few minutes before. Once again, understanding physiological birth, I was like, “I’m getting close. I know my contractions are not back to back anymore so I know I’m getting close to being done.” My midwife– I had asked some questions to her before and I was like, “How do you know? I don’t want constant cervical checks so how do I know that I’m about to be done?” 

I remember she told me, “We know. We are trained to listen to the birthing person and we can tell when they are getting close.” So I guess they could tell and around that time, she was like, “Okay, I think it’s time for you to jump into the pool.” I think this was around 11:30 or something. I was on my knees and my arms were on my bed. That was the position that I felt most comfortable laboring in so when I stood up, I felt something coming out. I was like, “Oh my gosh. Something is coming out.” I went into the pool and within a few minutes, I started to feel very strong contractions in my whole abdomen finally. 

Up to this point, the contractions were only on my lower belly. My body started to push and after two pushes, the head of my baby came out and on the third push, all of him came out. I don’t know how long that took. It short of felt like forever to me but they told me it was pretty quick so I don’t know, maybe 15 minutes. I have no idea. It’s really funny how you lose sense of time. 

Meagan: Mhmm, yeah. 

Adriana: During that time. There were so many people in the room at that point. It was the two midwives, the student midwife, the doula, the student doula, my mom, and Jovani but it was pretty interesting because the ambiance was so quiet. Everyone was really quiet the whole time. It was really, really peaceful and then when baby came out, everybody was clapping and so on. My dad was outside the room and he was like, “It was so quiet. I was getting worried then all of a sudden, I could hear excitement and clapping.” 

I was able to catch him and we did immediate skin-to-skin. I couldn’t believe it. I was like, “Oh my gosh.” I couldn’t believe it. I got a shot of Pitocin and then birthed the placenta within a few minutes. My midwives tucked me into my bed. My baby was still attached to the placenta. My doula brought me a donut. Jovani got me coffee. My mom brought me a sandwich. 

Meagan: Oh my gosh. I love it. 

Adriana: Yes. It was one of the best meals I’ve had in my life. I was so happy and so excited. I had a very small tear so I didn’t need any stitches or anything and the recovery was so easy. It was nothing compared to recovering from a Cesarean in my experience after a long induction. 

Then it was really nice too because in the next days and weeks, my midwives visited me in my home. The checkups and everything were at home so that was pretty wonderful. I guess throughout this whole process once again, understanding, it was really interesting to me how– I don’t want to call it a project but I guess it was a project and like an experiment, like the things we do in the lab. You look for background information. You prepare everything. You inform yourself with data and what other people have found. You look at statistics so it was really interesting to me how this VBAC journey helped me grow as a scientist. That was one of the nice outcomes. 

Something I forgot to say is that after my Cesarean and when I did the birth story processing– because you give a bunch of information to the person who is doing the processing for you and one of the things that I couldn’t point out was why I was so bothered with the experience. If everything had gone well, what was it that was bothering me? She was the one who brought it up because one of the things I kept bringing up was, “I do research for a living. This is what I do. This is what I do every day. I research. I look at data. I look at stats. I read the literature. This is what I do. Why didn’t I do any research for my first pregnancy? Why didn’t I prepare myself? Why didn’t I second-guess what the medical doctors were suggesting me to do? If I’m always second-guessing what everyone says, especially in science, you are always like, where is the evidence? Can I see the data? Why didn’t I do that?”

It was really interesting that she brought this up. She was like, “It seems like you feel like you failed as a scientist with your first birth experience. It seems like you feel like you failed as a scientist.” I was like, “Yes. That is exactly how I feel. Yeah. I feel like I failed as a scientist. Why didn’t I put any work in researching one of the most important events of my life? Why didn’t I do that?” I think a way to cope with that in my second pregnancy was doing the opposite and really doing all of the research, looking at all of the data and all of the stats. 

At some point, I was like, I’ve done all of the work so whatever the outcome is, it’s not on me.

Meagan: It’s out of your hands. It’s out of your hands. 

Adriana: Exactly. It’s out of my hands. So that was something that really helped me throughout my pregnancy and throughout labor. I’m happy that I had the outcome I wanted but I think at some point, especially in the last weeks of pregnancy, I was like, Whatever the outcome is, I’ve made peace with it because I’ve done all I can to prepare and that’s it.

Meagan: Yeah, that’s such a great message to share because in the end, just like you said, I actually love how you said it. I prepare. I gather. I do the experiment and not that birth is an experiment, but in the science lab, and then the outcome is really unknown. 

Adriana: Yeah. 

Meagan: It’s really unknown. Sometimes you can control it by adding whatever into it and sometimes you can’t. It’s like labor. Sometimes we go to the hospital and we can control it with Pitocin or an epidural or whatever and sometimes we still have these outcomes. Such a great message. Just in the end, it’s so hard for the not-average scientist, the average person, not the scientist, to really decode all of the literature out there. 

Do you have any tips for the listeners on how they can go about taking the preparation like what you did? Obviously, we have blogs and our VBAC course and all of the things to try and help break these things down into English because sometimes they are very hard to understand. 

Adriana: Don’t get me started. 

Meagan: Yeah, but what suggestions would you give to any of the listeners? 

Adriana: Yeah, I have a few. The scientific literature– I feel so annoyed having to write the findings of my experiments in that type of language, but I guess that is sort of how things are done. One of the things that I recommend people doing is not one that a lot of people think of, but you can reach out to the authors of the papers. I get so excited when someone reaches out to me and they are like, “I saw this paper. Can you explain to me what it means?” Most scientists are just going to be so excited to have people reach out to them and tell them, “Can you help me understand this?” Most of them are going to be so excited about that. That’s one thing you can do if you feel like reaching out to someone.

Maybe sometimes they are not going to reply, but I would say most scientists–

Meagan: Worth a shot. 

Adriana: Exactly. It’s definitely worth a shot and most scientists are going to be so excited that you are reaching out to them. The other thing is that most papers come with a short summary at the beginning. It’s usually called “summary” or “abstract” and in that summary, they summarize the findings in a way that is way easier to understand than if you look at the results in the discussion because sometimes also the plots are impossible to understand, the statistics are very difficult to understand if you are not trained in statistics, so reading the abstract and the summary, especially toward the end, there is usually one to three sentences with the main outcome of the experiment. 

They are not going to give you statistics or anything, but they are going to tell you what they have found. You will see that most scientists are really conservative on what they conclude from their study. Even if their data and stats are really strong, they are usually very conservative on the way that they conclude and then sometimes that conclusion gets lost somewhere when the information is given to you by your OB/GYN for example so I would really encourage folks to look at those last few sentences to really understand, Okay. My OB/GYN brought up this scientific article. Let me go and see what is actually written there and what they are actually saying. By reading those one to three sentences, you’re going to get a better understanding of what the scientist actually found. 

Meagan: Overall, with VBAC, what was the overall finding? Obviously, I kind of know a lot of the overall findings, but what was the overall finding that you found in your own research when it comes to VBAC and the safety of it? 

Adriana: Yeah. I just found the data is so strong in showing that VBAC is super safe for non-high-risk individuals. Again, having a previous Cesarean does not automatically make you high-risk and I guess if you think about it, I was “high-risk” because I had a previous Cesarean. I am of advanced maternal age and I also have a higher than average BMI so I had three high-risk factors if you will and still, with those factors counted in, I knew that VBAC was really safe for me just based on the data that I found. 

Then if you add in too the reduction of interventions, that makes the chances of VBAC really high. 

Meagan: VBAC high, rupture risk is lower. 

Adriana: Exactly. If you keep adding things, I found especially when researching for home birth, the data is really messy out there. It’s not desegregated and by this, I mean that when they show you the statistics for home birth, they show you the statistics of everything together like people who had unplanned home births for example. The outcomes of those can be very different than that of a planned home birth and they also add people who end up having spontaneous abortions at home and that’s included as a home birth. That is ridiculous so we really need desegregated data so sometimes when you go into the scientific literature, you can get the desegregated data in the scientific paper. Once again, I know that is not in an available format for people who don’t have the training but again, you can reach out to the authors of the paper and to the scientists for them to explain to you what is the actual finding or read the abstract so that you can see. 

Most of those papers are like, “We need more research on planned home births.” 

Meagan: Right. Oh, such great information. I know we have so little time but I have one more random question because in a lot of these articles, they say, “Confidence level blah-blah-blah.” Can you describe what that means as someone who is reading that? What does that mean when an author says that?

Adriana: When an author says that, they are taking percentages as their confidence level. When they say 95% confidence, it’s that they mean that out of say 100 individuals, the chances of this occurring is less than 5% when there is a 95% confidence interval. Once again, it could mean depending on the type of data that out of 100 people, 95 people we know for sure backed up by statistics that 95% out of 100 individuals are going to have this outcome. That’s basically it. They are just giving you a percentage so that it is a little bit easier to understand and we also use this same thing with P-values. P-values are something that you see all the time in scientific literature. It is the exact same thing. 

We consider P-values smaller than 0.05 as significant so essentially, this means that there is a less than 5% chance that whatever you are studying is happening out of chance. Essentially, it’s telling you there are 95% chances that what you are seeing is actually happening and it’s not something that is happening out of chance if that makes sense. 

Meagan: That totally makes sense. 

Adriana: Yeah. 

Meagan: Oh my gosh. We could probably talk about this for a long time, but I will not keep you any longer. I appreciate you so much. Congratulations on your birth. Thank you so much for sharing with us and have a wonderful day. 

Adriana: Thank you for inviting me. 

Closing

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“I leaned back in the tub and I think what I said was just, ‘I’ve never held one of my babies after they were born before.’

It was interesting how there was an element that was sort of mundane about it but I liked that. It was just the normalcy of it all that shocked me if that makes sense.” 

Since her only experiences with her previous births were in a sterile, surgical, hospital environment, the simplicity and freedom of a home birth felt shockingly normal in all the best ways!

Jolie shares her first C-section, her planned home birth turned CBAC, followed by a 15-hour home birth at 43 weeks to an almost 11-pound baby with her third. She gives invaluable advice on how to REALLY know if you have the right provider for you and how it may not always be the VBAC-supportive provider everyone recommends. 

Jolie's Photography and Coaching Contact Info

Transforming Birth

Needed Website

How to VBAC: The Ultimate Prep Course for Parents

Full Transcript under Episode Details 

Meagan: Hello, Women of Strength. It’s Meagan here. We have another VBAC story for you today and we have our friend, Jolie. Hello, Jolie. 

Jolie: Hey, Meagan. 

Meagan: How are you today? 

Jolie: I’m good. How are you? 

Meagan: I am so great. I am so excited to record your story. There were a whole bunch of little snippets through your story that I’m like, Oh, I want to talk about that. But I wanted to tell everybody that I’ve been starting to do this. I don’t know if you’ve been noticing but we get a lot of emails of, Hey, where was this person located? What state was that? I’m curious if it was my state so I can try to find that provider. We are going to have her providers and stuff tagged in today’s post but you say you are in North Georgia, correct? 

Jolie: Yes. 

Meagan: Is that just where your VBAC was or is that where you are residing now? 

Jolie: Nope, this is where my VBAC was, in North Georgia. 

Meagan: Okay, so North Georgia people, listen up. This is going to be a great story. I’ll tell you guys a little bit more. Okay, so you’re a birth worker and a photographer. Are you a doula? 

Jolie: Yes. Yep. I was trained as a doula in 2020 but I’m exploring different ways to support people in the birth community because, with three young children, I’m just trying to navigate the on-call life and doing things. But yes, I do have experience being a doula. 

Meagan: Awesome. So cool. Like she said, she has three kiddos. She is a Christian wife to a Biblical counselor. That’s awesome. I love how you guys said that you have a vision of a multi-generational team on a mission to God’s kingdom. I just love that so much. I am so excited to record your story here in just a few seconds. 

I do of course have a Review of the Week as always. We always have reviews and just a reminder, if you haven’t left a review yet, we would love them. They really do help the show. They help other Women of Strength find these amazing stories and honestly, they just put a ginormous smile on my face. 

This review says, “Love these ladies and this podcast.” It says, “I love listening to your podcast. I listen almost every day in the car. So often that my oldest son knows you both by name. The stories shared here have inspired me so much. I wish I had all of this information with my first baby. I have had two C-sections. I’m not pregnant at the moment and still have to get my husband on board for a third, but I am so excited to start planning for a VBAC after two C-sections when the time comes. Thank you, Julie and Megan, for creating this amazing VBAC community. I’m so thankful for the education and support.” 

Okay, seriously, I love that. We keep hearing this. I love that other kids know who we are because they are just so used to listening to the podcast because this is what I love even more than just they know who they are. They are learning. These kids are sponges. We know that. They are always taking stuff in that we are saying and if they’re listening to these stories, they are learning. So hopefully if your kiddos are learning and listening, they are going to have a different outcome in their future for their future births if they so choose to because they’re going to know, right? They’re going to know all of these stories. 

Anyway, that makes my heart smile. 

Jolie: That’s awesome. 

Meagan: All right, girl. Are you ready? Let’s do this. 

Jolie: All right. 

Meagan: All right. Let’s turn the time over. 

Jolie: Okay, so yes. I had a home birth in November, November 5th. That was a home birth after two Cesareans so an HBA2C. I’ll just do a small synopsis of the first two births because I feel like that always helps preface the background of where I’m coming from. I think everybody’s journey to their VBAC is totally different. 

Meagan: Yeah, totally different and at the same time, there are so many listening who are like, Oh my gosh, this is just like me. I think sometimes we hold on to those past experiences even if we’ve processed them. We know that was our past so sometimes we even doubt ourselves because of that so hearing someone’s story who is pretty similar to yours and then hearing them go on to have a VBAC is pretty impactful. 

Jolie: Yeah, absolutely. I can relate to that as well with listening to podcasts and finding those stories of women’s journeys to their VBACs. I definitely clung onto the ones I related to. 

With my first baby, our daughter, she was born in 2019 and I mean, that was like so many, a typical cascade of interventions situation where I was aware of home birth and natural childbirth. I knew that I wanted that, but I also was just young and didn’t know and wasn’t aware of the resources I had. It’s pretty much what I chaulked that up to. I just was getting into birth and eyes wide open and reading what I could but I didn’t really know obviously what the future was going to hold for me. I didn’t know all what was available to me either. 

I was seeing a traditional OB group and was planning a hospital birth but wanted just a natural childbirth with no interventions at all. I just wanted in in the hospital. I ended up getting fear-mongered to just put it simply out there. Fearmongered into an induction at 41 weeks and yeah. Quite frankly, it just didn’t work. My body was not ready. I was not open at all and I was so determined. I stayed in that hospital working with an induction for a whole week before I had my C-section. 

I was trying to go slow and steady and I was going a little stir crazy there at the end of that week. I obviously was confused and just downcast and so just sad about what was happening. I was shocked that I was there in that situation. I remember reading Ina May’s book and skipping the C-section chapter because I was like, That’s not going to be me. Why do I need to read this? 

Meagan: That’s really normal. Even here with the CBAC stories, I think it’s really common to be like, I don’t want to listen to that CBAC story because that’s not going to be me. But at the same time, I think it’s good too. 

Jolie: Yeah. Yeah. There’s definitely a balance to that. I found myself at the end of that week pushing 42 and was kind of again just had fear within me and had fear coming from my providers of, “You’ve been at this for a week. You’re not in labor. Your options are to leave or have a C-section.” I was just like, “Leave? I’ve been here for a week. I’m not going to leave here without a baby.” We opted for the C-section and she was fine. We handled that whole week together perfectly fine. There were no emergencies or hiccups in the road. It was just like, “All right. This is just what we do next,” kind of at this point. 

She was born at 32 to the day via Cesarean and yeah. That was that. I definitely processed the birth very traumatically because any trauma is how you process what’s going on. I know there are births out there that could look like that and people handle it differently. So anyway, for me, I processed it with a sense of trauma. I spent that next year just working through that sorrow and trauma. I started seeing a Biblical counselor which is why I included in my little bio that my husband is one because I saw one and the change that he saw in me is what spurred him on and encouraged him to become one. That was a really cool moment in our family where I was going to this wonderful woman for help and just handling my birth. 

Anyway, that was really helpful for me in growing and changing the way I was looking at my birth. I was very determined to have a VBAC. My husband I have always said that we want however many children the Lord would give us. I assumed that wouldn’t be just one. I wanted another one so I was very determined for a VBAC for my second pregnancy. 

We conceived my second when my daughter turned one. It was a year later and I was just– the way this pregnancy and birth happened which was a repeat Cesarean, I just put my blinders on and put my head down and was like, I just need to hire a home birth midwife and she’s going to give me my VBAC. That was my attitude. Surely if I plan a home birth, I’m not leaving my house. There’s no way it will end in a C-section. 

I was very– I don’t know if stubborn was the right word, but there was a sense that I was covering up all that I went through with this first birth to just have the VBAC, have the VBAC. It was almost like that was going to fix the first one. That was how I felt. In hindsight, I see that now. In the moment, I probably did not recognize that that was how I was operating. I hired a home birth midwife who came recommended to me. I knew friends who used her. 

So then here we are towards the end approaching 41 weeks like the last time and my water broke on 41 weeks. It was the first sign of labor and I had no signs of labor with my first child so that was so exciting. I was kind of scared too. I was surprised. 

My water broke at 41 and I was talking to my midwife and whatnot. I had some little pitter-patter contractions that night and then nothing the next day. That was on a Sunday. My son ended up being born that Thursday via Cesarean. 

What happened within that week or a little less than a week was not the funnest of times. I pretty much realized there at the very end when I was needing– you’re here at the end and you’re like, What’s going to happen next? I realized, I hired the wrong midwife, but what do I do now? 

Meagan: No way. 

Jolie: Yeah. Like I said, I’m not going to speak ill, but I believe that every care provider is not the right fit for everyone. So just because I heard wonderful reviews, that’s not negating the fact that she was wonderful for some people, but looking back, this is pairing it where my head was down and my blinders were on. Now I can see in hindsight the red flags that were coming up. I was like, Oh, she’s just tired. Maybe she just got back from a birth and that’s why she seems grumpy. She’s been doing this for a long time. I was just giving reasons to why she was the way she was. It was nothing more than that we just didn’t click well. 

After my water broke, she took on this fearful attitude. She was very concerned and just didn’t know what to do. She really fed into fears that I had and new ones in my head. I was just like, This is not helping. What’s going on? 

All that to say, I think she wanted me to have a biophysical profile done since my water had broken and I was 41 and labor hadn’t begun. Obviously, the profile came back that there was low fluid which I knew because my water had broken but there was nothing else concerning with my son. But because of that report, she transferred me to the hospital. She transferred care and she called my husband after the report came back to her and said, “Y’all need to go to the hospital. I’m not going to be able to support you. Just go.” 

That moment from the report to the hospital was scary for me but on the way there, I had this peace come over me because I was going back to the hospital that my daughter was born at and before this birth, I was very much even just seeing the hospital– I would just not look at it by the side of the road. I had all of this emotion attached to this place. I knew a few people who worked there in the labor and delivery ward. I had their numbers so I messaged them. I was like, “Is there any chance y’all are here?” 

Long story short, I’m coming. I don’t want to be here, but I’m coming. They were. I had a friend come and she prayed with me and I had seen another nurse there who was there when I had my daughter and she remembered me. It was just this very healing moment in the sense of I was respected. People totally were not judging me for coming in as a home birth transfer. I was worried about that that I would get a side-eye or judgment because I was a home birth mom. I was actually going to the hospital and I didn’t have a provider there. 

But no, they were all so very much like, “We are so sorry that you are here because we know that you don’t want to be here but we are taking care of you. We understand that this is hard for you to process everything that’s going on right now.” That was healing in itself. That healed my emotional attachments to the hospital that were negative. 

He was fine. They monitored him for a few minutes when we got there. He was fine, but they also– I did tell my husband when we were on the way, “I just know that it’s going to be another C-section because I don’t even have a doctor here. My water’s broken. I’m already a VBAC.” I kind of had accepted that outcome before even getting there and decided to opt for it again. 

The doctor there was also very respectful with all of that just like the nurses were. He was born at 41 and 5. He was fine even though the water had been broken for some time. 

So that was that. In processing that birth, it was a little bit different than my first. I definitely felt like I was at a fork in the road though because here I am. I’ve just had two. I was technically a home birth transfer. I was determined to get this VBAC. What in the world happened that time? 

I just realized that I had taken any sort of trust and responsibility in the medical community or within myself and just put it in the hands of this midwife and put her up on this pedestal of, You’re going to give me the birth that I want. I misplaced that into the whole home birth community. I was like, I can’t do that again. But then that is some deep internal work then. If I am realizing that I am making all of these other people responsible for my birth and my outcome and it’s not working out great, I need to figure out what the root of this is and really work on it. 

That began the year journey of just doing some more internal work and more counseling and therapy and stuff like that. I remember it might have been this podcast episode that I listened to or it could have been another birth podcast. It was honestly a lightbulb going off. I didn’t realize I could do this. I can’t remember. I think it was your podcast but one of y’all said, “I interviewed seven providers before I became pregnant again to pick one out.” 

Meagan: Yeah. I actually interviewed 12. 

Jolie: Yes, okay. I wrote that down. I heard that and I was like, Wait a minute. How am I going to do that if I’m pregnant and scrambling to find the perfect provider? I heard you say that and it was almost like, Whoa. I didn’t realize I could interview people when I’m not pregnant, but why couldn’t I? So that helped me. 

Meagan: It sounds weird. Why would you go talk to a doctor if you’re not pregnant? 

Jolie: Yeah, but that gave me so much peace and confidence. It was a clear path of, Oh. I’m not pregnant. I’ve got time. I started. I didn’t want to figure this all out until my son turned 1 so I was just like, You need to take a breath. Everybody talks about your next baby right after you had one and I’m always like, Can you just slow down? I just had a baby and I’m going to enjoy this time. 

So I waited a year not to get pregnant the third time but a year to go after my provider, find my plan, and really do the deep work again. So I did. I started interviewing all of these people. I found my midwife a little over a year before I conceived my third baby. I found her early when I wasn’t pregnant. It was just such a God-ordained, perfect experience where my husband and I went and had a conversation with her. She just aligned with us on a biological level, on a spiritual level. That was something I didn’t realize how important it was going to be to me to find a fellow Christian who really walked out their life with the Lord and she did. I developed a close friendship with her actually even before I was pregnant. 

Being in the birth world, I would work with her. I had attended some births with her before I became pregnant so I really just saw her live it out and I knew she was amazing. What’s so funny, just the way the mind and body and spirit are connected was when I first met her and did the interview with my husband, I hadn’t started my cycle back. I was telling her, “I’m just looking. I need a VBAC. I want a VBAC. I’m not pregnant yet, but I haven’t started my cycle either so I have no idea when.” 

The very next day, I got my period. For me, I felt like it was my body coming into alignment with the fact that I just found somebody who was going to be amazing for my birth. 

Meagan: You’re ready. 

Jolie: I emailed her, “This is so weird but I literally just started my cycle.” Anyway, that was just a really cool moment for me to recognize that connection.

That was when I found my midwife and that was such a key part to my VBAC. Then it was about a year later when I got pregnant with my third. I hired her and we were just so excited. 

Okay, so one of my big things with interviewing people for my third was, “Okay, I have had two pregnancies and two Cesareans. Historically, I have gone postdates with both of them. I need to know what your deal is with due dates and the whole ‘let me’ language and all of that.” I was trying to figure out what I aligned with in that regard and what they would support me with. So here I am approaching 42 weeks. 

She was very much like, “Whatever. We’ll check on you more when you’re past your due date if you want and we’ll obviously take care of you but I have no cutoff or whatever.” 

Yeah. So I was 42 weeks and I started losing a little bit of my mucus plug. That was exciting but then another pretty much week went by and here I am a couple days before 43 and I have two nights of prodromal labor where the contractions would wake me up in the night but then I’d go back to sleep. That was the first night on a Thursday night I would have those contractions. 

Friday rolls around. I am so pregnant and so tired. It was definitely emotionally very challenging that last month. But Friday night comes around. They pick up again and that night, I really couldn’t sleep so I would be on the birth ball. I would get in the bathtub and yeah. I knew I was going to need some support on Saturday because of my other children so it did fizzle out Saturday morning, but I had a friend come and play with my kids. We just all hung out together on Saturday. I did have some contractions that were strong every 30 minutes to an hour during the day on Saturday. 

I was pretty much– that Saturday I was 43 weeks I think. Either Saturday or Friday I was 43 weeks. That evening it started picking up a little bit more and my birth team, so my midwife and her assistant who was going to come to the birth and my husband. They came over around 10:30 Saturday morning and then 30 minutes later– so they got to my house at 10:30-11:00 PM. My kids were asleep so that was fine. I wasn’t really sure if I was going to have them around or not. I was going to play it by ear because I wasn’t sure what kind of support I’d need from my husband and how they were going to handle it. 

Through the night they slept which was great and I was laboring that Saturday night. My water broke at 11:00 PM Saturday night 30 minutes after my birth team got there and that was something that I was having to really work with in my mind because of the second birth having my water break as the first sign of labor and then not have the baby for several days. I was really wanting to not have my water break early. 

Meagan: Yeah. 

Jolie: But my water breaking actually when it broke at 11:00, I was in labor before then. That was a different situation and I just had this wave of peace come over me again because I knew I was finally in labor and my birth team was going to stay. It wasn’t going to be, “Oh, nevermind. We’re going to go home now.” They were here and the water was clear. I had no worries. 

I was actually really excited after my water broke because I thought I wasn’t going to be because of my second birth but I was so thankful. Pretty much from there on, it started picking up pretty intensely. The nighttime was a blur. I just did squats and walked around and swayed and just clung to door frames I feel like. I was just sort of, yeah. I definitely struggled with holding tension in my body in the contractions. 

I did labor pretty much all night on Saturday and then later in the night maybe around 4:00 or 5:00 AM, I finally found a great place to relax and just a position. It was actually just laying in the bed reclined is what did it for me. I was able to melt into the contractions and I could tell that I was opening and progressing. I just slept around 4:00 or 5:00 until 7:00 AM so early into Sunday morning now. 

I was definitely still laboring intensely but I was sleeping. To somebody on the outside, you would just think, Oh, she’s just taking a nap. I was in transition actually. I did not think I would want a cervical exam because of my previous two births– never dilating, all of that. I had to move past that whole belief that my body was not going to open and things like that so I wasn’t sure how I was going to do with exams and stuff. 

But at that time, being a doula and hearing so many birth stories, I was already pregnant for so long, I was just like, I need to know if I have a whole other day of this. I don’t want to hear a number but I want her to check me and at least tell me if my energy needs to be hunkered down, conserved, you’re not that far, or is it okay, let’s pick it up. You’re almost there? I did want her to check me but I didn’t want to hear a number. I just wanted her to give me a general frame of, “Here’s where you need to be in your headspace with this information I’ve just received.” 

It was 7:00 AM maybe. She checked me. She was like, “Are you sure you don’t want to hear a number?” I could just tell the way she asked that question. I was like, Okay, she knows I’m going to like the number I’m going to hear. I was like, “Okay, go ahead and tell me.” She was like, “You’re an 8 and I can stretch you completely open very easily.” I was like, “What? Oh wow, this is amazing. Okay.” She was like, “I think all it’s going to take is some different positions. We’re going to do a circuit to get the baby’s head lined up just a little bit more straight and that will open you up all the way if we just move the baby just a little bit.”

I was like, “Okay, let’s do it.” I did two circuits of excruciating positions. Side-lying was not the most fun thing I’ve ever done but I was very much just like, “Tell me what to do and I’ll do it.” We did side-lying, knees to chest, and dip the hip where I was standing and I would swap and turn. I don’t know how to explain the sensation, but it was probably just the baby moving through my pelvis. It was pretty intense. 

I did two circuits of that and I was just like, “I need to feel some comfort again and not do this circuit again.” So I was like, “I think I want to get in the birth pool.” I had the birth pool set up. I had tried to get in earlier in labor but got right back out. It was just not for me. I was like, “Maybe I’ll try the birth pool.” I stepped in and was like, “Nope. I don’t want to do that.” The second time now, this was around 11:30 AM. I was like, “I think I want to get in the pool.” I got in and I was like, “I’m not 100% sure but I kind of think I feel pushy.” It was just one of those things that in a lot of ways I felt like a first-time mom having this labor where I never had a pushing phase with the others. I was just sort of doubting myself a little bit, but the assistant was like, “Well, we can’t tell you if you feel pushy.” I was like, “Okay. I know. I know.” 

Meagan: We can’t tell you. 

Jolie: Yeah. 

Meagan: That’s hilarious. 

Jolie: I was like, “Okay. Well, I’ll just be in this for a few more contractions and see if whatever sensation I’m feeling stays or gets stronger. I think I’ll be confident when I am ready to push or if it changes and whatever.” I just was trying to figure out again where I needed to be. 

So I did feel that pushing sensation and started to in the water. That was definitely such a switch in the way I was experiencing the sensations of labor because the contractions were painful to me, but when I started pushing, it was like relief and very relieving. I felt like, Oh, I’m doing something. This is different. I’m not just getting through this. I’m moving through it in a way where I have this sort of control over it. 

I really enjoyed pushing and I was in the tub and again, reclining on my back. I never thought I would be in this position for birth because it’s usually the hospital stereotype of on your back on the bed but that’s where I felt relief and got through transition on my bed so in the birth pool, that’s actually how I pushed was kind of reclined back. I was just able to do it better that way. I had 5 minutes between each contraction so that was really nice because I ended up pushing for about 2 hours. That’s kind of a long time. I think from start to finish my labor was 15 hours so it was those last 2. 

I never felt exhausted as in, I can’t do this, but I do remember I wasn’t really aware of the time. I knew it was Sunday afternoon. I got in the pool at 11:30 and my son was born at 2:05. I was pushing but I had those 5 minutes of breaks so I was able to doze off and float in the water. I genuinely enjoyed those 2 hours. It was just peaceful but I felt myself getting sort of impatient because I didn’t know what time it was, but I was just like, Okay. The water is kind of cool. I know I’ve been in here for a while so I don’t know. I really wish this was over now. So finally, there was a candid moment where I saw my midwife getting baby stuff together and I was just like, “Oh, what are you doing?” 

She was like, “You’re pushing. I’m getting the baby stuff out. You’re doing this. It’s actually happening.” I was just like, “Oh wow. Okay. I guess so.” It was so funny. I don’t know. I think there is just this part of where I was just so zoned into what I was doing and what I was feeling that I wasn’t really processing it, Oh, this is happening. This is happening. 

As she told me, I could feel my baby’s head and that was mind-blowing. Once I could reach out and feel his head, which we didn’t know at the time it was a boy. We were waiting to find out. That definitely brought me into a sense of reality when I could feel the baby’s head. It was just like, Whoa, okay. This is happening. 

There was a slight burn when his head crowned, but there was so much adrenaline when his body was coming out that I don’t even really recall that being painful just kind of a burning sensation. His head crowned. I changed positions after his head was born. I was still in the water, but I sort of think I was on my back. I moved up a little bit onto my hands and knees and stayed in the water. My midwife ended up guiding his head and shoulders down and then his body came out. 

She handed him to me and I just remember knowing it was a boy even though I hadn’t seen yet. I leaned back in the tub and I think what I said was just, “I’ve never held one of my babies after they were born before.” That feeling of an immediate, My baby came out and they are in my arms. That was just so surreal but at the same time it was almost so seamless and intuitive that I was just like, Okay. I just gave birth and it’s just a normal day. Everybody around me– I think I had thought built it up in my mind to be this incredible experience which it was. I don’t want to say, It wasn’t all that, but in a way, birth is so natural and normal that after it happened, it was just like, I’m in my bed and the birds are chirping outside and the day is going on, where before I was in the hospital and it felt like this whole different world. It was interesting how there was an element that was sort of mundane about it but I like that. I don’t know. It was just the normalcy of it all that shocked me if that makes sense. 

Meagan: Yeah. No, I really actually can totally relate. I remember after I had my VBAC after two C-section baby, I was at a birth center. I was in the bathroom on the floor when I gave birth and they were like, “All right, let’s get you up and move you to the room.” I was like, “Okay.” I just remember going in there and laying down and starting to feed my baby and just looking around almost like, Did that really just happen? But at the same time, it was like, Yeah, it just happened and now I’m just feeding my baby. 

Jolie: Yeah, that was it. 

Meagan: It was so weird. It was so weird. There was a slight disconnect in my brain that what had just transpired transpired. 

Jolie: Yes. 

Meagan: So yeah. I really can relate to that so much. Then about how you were saying, “I was pushing for a really long time and I just looked over and realized my midwife was putting the baby stuff together and getting stuff ready,” and you were like, “Oh, yeah. Yeah.” I had that moment too where I was just laboring on the toilet and then all of a sudden, my midwife was just coming in here guiding me to the stool and I was like, Wait, what? She was like, “Let’s come have a baby.” I’m like, “What, really?” 

I couldn’t believe that what was happening was happening but I was so zoned into doing this birth, having this VBAC, and then all of a sudden, I realized I was doing that. I was actually doing that. 

Jolie: Yeah. I think when you have C-sections and when you have any sort of difficulties in your births, your mind clings onto those phrases that people say like, “Oh, your baby is too big. You’re not going to open.” 

Meagan: Oh yeah. Oh yeah. 

Jolie: It makes you feel like this miraculous thing must happen for me to give birth because it didn’t work the other times so how in the world? Trumpets need to be blaring and some crazy thing has to happen for this to work but it doesn’t and it was just like, Oh. That was it. 

Meagan: This is normal. 

Jolie: Yeah, the thing that didn’t feel normal was actually the surgical births but the thing that felt normal was the VBAC so it was very interesting but after he came out, they were like, “That’s a big baby.” He pooped twice before we got out of the tub like pretty big poops so then by the time my midwife weighed him, she knew that he had already pooped, but I think he weighed 10, 14 so she was like, “He totally was 11 pounds coming out. If I weighed him before he took those ginormous poops.” 

That was shocking and not expected at all. 

Meagan: Yeah girl! 

Jolie: That was really cool that it was not even a part of it because I didn’t get any late-term ultrasounds. Looking back, people definitely kept asking me if I was having twins. They were like, “Wow. You look really big.” I just was like, “Ha, ha. I get it. I’m pregnant.” You know the things people say. I’m like, Maybe I actually did look larger than normal because this child could pass for two babies as twins. Yeah. He was almost 11 pounds. 

I did have one tear that I chose for her to not suture, but that was it. That was the birth. 

Meagan: Wow, and a surprise big baby. Think about how there are a lot of times in the provider’s world of the hospital where they see someone who is a larger baby and they are wanting to do those third-trimester ultrasounds and growth scans and they are like, “What?” When really you didn’t need any of those things, you just needed time. And a 43-week baby. 

I had one of my beginning doula clients and she was 43 weeks and 1 day as well. I mean, it was a 10-pound baby as well. It was 10,12 I think. That girl just powerhoused that baby out but she was getting pressure to get induced at 39 weeks. She was feeling all of that pressure. “Oh, your baby is looking big. You look so big. You are small. I don’t know if this is going to be possible.” Then she switched at I think 41 weeks then she went to 43 and 1 and just had a beautiful, vaginal birth. 

I love that. Okay, so there are so many things. Something that I caught in your story was with your second midwife or with your second provider with your second baby. Everyone said, “This midwife, this midwife,” so you went with this midwife then you realized it wasn’t the midwife for me. I think that is something that is important to note especially when we have our supportive provider list, right? We have this list and we’re providing these names where people will rant and rave for days and days and days about some of these providers so you’re like, Yeah, great. The whole community is going to this provider or whatever. 

Then you’re in that situation and you just take that word for it, but then you get into that situation of birthing and you’re realizing, Oh crap. This isn’t right. There were red flags and I didn’t recognize them because I was just going off of what everybody else said. I just think it’s important to note that even though everybody or people might say this provider is the only provider or the best provider that it doesn’t mean they are the best provider for you. 

It really comes back down to what that provider is looking like for you in your mind. Close your eyes. Envision your birth. Think about what they are saying, what they are doing, how they are caring for you. Think about the questions you want to ask them and go and really ask these people these questions that are really something for you. I love that you talked about that with your third midwife how you were like, “These are the qualities I was looking for.” It took you a while to find it but you found it. 

I love also that you pointed that out. Really you guys, I can’t say it enough. Finding a provider when you are not pregnant is night and day from finding a provider when you are. 

Jolie: Yeah. There was no pressure. I felt like I could be so much more confident in saying no because I didn’t feel like I had to say yes. 

Meagan: Yeah and honestly, our minds are in a different space. Even Dr. Fox a few episodes back talked about that how that is a really great thing to do because we are emotional. We feel pressure. There’s time. Our baby is growing and each week matters to find that provider. It’s a very different thing. It’s a very different thing. 

Okay and then in your form, we talked about this a little bit before but you talked about radical responsibility and the word radical just stands out to me now because of our radical acceptance episodes that Julie and I have done. We’ve done two of them so if you guys haven’t listened to those, go back and listen. There is a part one and a part two. How would you describe radical responsibility or finding radical responsibility to our audience? 

Jolie: Yeah. I think that it comes with a lot of coming face-to-face with some core beliefs because for me, when I was realizing was that we all day, “You are the one that cares the most about your baby and your body.” Okay. I think most people can agree that’s true. But then how do you actually walk that out when you are pregnant? Because what can happen is you can be subconsciously deciding that this person over here is going to make sure I’m safe, is going to make sure my baby is safe, and is going to do all of these things for me when in reality, I believe that nobody outside of you can guarantee that safety. As a Christian, I believe that I don’t even hold the keys to life and death. If that’s what we’re going to talk about, at the core of all of this stuff, people when they are pregnant, you want your baby after you are born and that’s a thing. 

So that’s kind of your basic line. I had to come to grips with even just the reality at its deepest core of, Okay. So if I’m pregnant and I have this baby growing inside of me and I want to birth this way for these reasons, I need to own this. If my midwife recommends I eat this way or do it. She’s not going to come over and feed me. She’s not going to text me everyday and ask if I took my supplements or went on a walk.

That’s goes into something else I’d like to mention if we have time of just handling all the things in birth. But with the responsibility aspect, it’s hard to pin down but I think that it just boils down to realizing where you have control and where you don’t have control and are you giving any control to someone else or are they just there to support you? There was an element where I was at where I wasn’t wanting to do a free birth. I know there are very strong opinions for that or with unassisted– different terms and all of these things– but I did glean a lot from books I was reading about unassisted birth because I wanted to feel like I could make decisions with my midwife’s support and not the other way around. 

It wasn’t her making the decision and making sure I was on board with it. It was more like, This is what I want to do and I’m going to work with you because I did hire you and I actually hired you more for the essence of womanly support. Midwife means “with women” so I wanted this relationship. The relationship I cultivated with midwife was more of a sisterhood/friendship where I was like, “I need you in my birth. I hired you because I know you have incredible skills and I know that you can use these skills if something arises where I need to do something different in my birth, but more than that, I know that you know that you’re not responsible for certain things and I’m not responsible for certain things but we are working together and you are there for me on an emotional level.” That was more important to me. 

Meagan: I love that. 

Jolie: Not everybody is going to be there for our births but I think if you’re listening and that resonates with you like, I’ve taken some power and put it in other people or I’m holding my provider responsible for x, y, z at the end of the day, I would just work through that and base those thoughts and beliefs and see if you think there needs to be a change in your perception on responsibility and what we control or don’t control. We have to surrender which is incredibly difficult. 

Meagan: Yes. It is but I love that you are talking about that. We have to walk in. We have to own it but we also have to work together. I like that you said, “I don’t want her to have to convince me of this. I want to know what I’m talking about and work with her with this situation.” A lot of the time we have to do that with providers where we need to come in and work together and not be patient versus provider. It just needs to be a collaboration but at the same time, we have to take ownership into everything that we can. 

Okay, so we were talking about this and you mentioned that you wanted to talk about all the things. We talked about getting enough food, making sure we get the right supplements which we know here at The VBAC Link, I’m very passionate about getting the right supplements and then finding the right provider and figuring out what to do with the kids. There are so many things. 

Jolie: There are so many things. Yeah, I can talk about that for a minute because I think there are so many things that you can obsess over or shut down over. So one of the things that this goes into my tips of if you are going for a VBAC, here are some tips. A holistic approach– when I say holistic, I mean body, mind, and spirit. There are a lot of things we can do for our bodies when we are pregnant– the nutrition, the walks, the exercises, the Spinning Babies gymnastics. There are all of these body-focused things but you also need to be working on your mind and how you are doing in your mind which was huge for me. I found a birth course and worked with this incredible group of people. They are called Mind Change, but her birth course I think I sent you is called Transforming Birth. 

It’s all about subconscious stuff and rewiring your brain to have different pathways for your birth. Anyway, that’s my plug for that. 

But going into it, prepare your mind for birth. Actually think about what you do want and not what you don’t want. Think about what you don’t want. Have a plan. You need to have a plan for your provider. Of course, that’s responsible. But put that away and spend the real-time immersing yourself in what you want it to look like. 

And then just your spirit. You could make a whole list of all the things you need to do, but the key is in how you approach it because I remember in one of my previous births, one of them that was a C-section, somebody had said one time– it might have just been on social media, “Oh, I went to the chiropractor every week for my birth and I got this wonderful, fast labor and I know it is because of the chiropractor.” I thought to myself, I went to the chiropractor every week. Why didn’t I have a vaginal birth? It’s not in the things. That’s my main point which is so simple. You might hear that and be like, Duh. But it’s in how you approach them. Going to the chiropractor regularly is great for your health but if you are doing it from a place of stress and control like, If I miss an appointment or if I don’t hit 3 miles today, then actually, that’s not helping you anymore and you should probably not do that and not go on that walk if you are feeling stressed out about having to go on the walk. Don’t do it. 

Approach it from a place of peace and joy and acceptance going back to your radial acceptance. All of the things that can help you in your pregnancy are wonderful, but take them one at a time and make sure that when you’re going on your walk, when you have your supplements, you’re taking them from a place of peace and acceptance and then it can be helpful for you. One of the– I’ll just share one small example of how I did this with my third pregnancy that I didn’t really have this frame of mind with my previous two. There was a certain supplement. I can’t remember what it was called. It was a combination of herbs that helped ripen your cervix. A lot of people recommend it for VBACs at the end. 

Meagan: Like Birth Prep? 

Jolie: It wasn’t Birth Prep. It was 5 weeks or something. It had something to do with 5 or 7. There was a number in it and it’s like a holistic supplement that has supportive herbs in it for ripening your cervix so I remember coming across this information while I was pregnant and just thinking, Okay. I looked it up. It was all sold out on line and I was like, I feel like in my mind I’m thinking I have to do this to get the VBAC. This is going to help me. If I don’t get it, then what’s going to happen?  I ended up talking to my midwife about it and she actually had some. She was like, “Oh yeah, I do love this supplement. I have some and they are all sold out right now.” I was like, “I’ll take it. I’m going to let you know if I’m going to start taking it. Please ask me if I’m taking it out of a stressful, controlling way or if I’m taking it from a place of peace because depending on the way I answer, I need accountability to not actually do it,” because I wanted to be able to receive it in a way of support in general. 

That’s what she told me. “It’s not going to hurt you. They are wonderful herbs that will just strengthen and tone your uterus so you can take it,” but I knew I needed to be in a frame of mind where it wasn’t like, this is going to be the thing. This is just a small example of how I embodied that reality of if this is going to stress me out, even if it’s a good thing, I’m not going to do it. 

Meagan: Yeah, okay. I love that so much within our own community and other communities where it’s like, You guys, I have 5 days to get this baby out or they’re going to make me have a C-section, so then we have this stressful overreaction to do anything we can to get that baby out and actually what it’s doing is creating more stress in our body which is not going to help our cervix. I love that message. I do not know what you’re talking about exactly like what they used. Herbs are great, but I love that. Do things with intent and purpose. Don’t do things out of fear or out of worry or out of pressure. Do things because you think they are right and because you think this is what you need to be doing, not because you’re stressed about something. I’m just going to leave that right there because I love that message so much. Thank you so much again for sharing your stories and congrats on your HBAC after two C-sections. 

Jolie: Thank you, yeah. 

Closing

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Women of Strength, how many of you have “failure to progress” on your operative report as the reason for your Cesarean(s)? 

Meagan and Julie talk ALL about failure to progress today– how it led to their own Cesareans and how after breaking it down, they both realized that neither of them actually qualified for that label. 

When is it failure to progress and when is it failure to wait? What does failure to progress actually mean? 

This is an episode you will want to listen to over and over again. From learning all of the ways a cervix changes other than just dilation to all of the possible positions you can try during a lull in labor, Meagan and Julie share invaluable current research and personal experiences on this hot topic! 

ACOG Article: Limiting Interventions During Labor and Birth

AJOG Article: Safe Prevention of a Primary Cesarean Delivery

The Journal of Perinatal Education: Preventing a Primary Cesarean

OBG Project Article

The VBAC Link Blog: Failure to Progress

How to VBAC: The Ultimate Prep Course for Parents

Full Transcript under Episode Details 

Meagan: Hello. I am with Julie today and we are going to be talking about failure to progress. If you have been diagnosed with failure to progress– and I say diagnosed because they actually put them on our op reports like it’s a diagnosis of failure of progress meaning our cervix does not know what to do. It cannot make it to 10 centimeters or it hasn’t or it will not in the future, then I am telling you right now that this is definitely a great episode for you. 

Even if you haven’t been told, it’s going to be a great episode because we are going to talk about some other great things in the end about what to do in labor position-wise and all of the things. So we’re going to get going, but Julie apparently has a Review of the Week. We weren’t going to do one, but she says she has a Review of the Week. So, Julie? I will turn the time over to you. 

Julie: This is my review. Are you ready? 

Meagan: I’m actually really curious. 

Julie: “I’m so excited. Thank you so much, Meagan and Julie. I love The VBAC Link!” Signed, lots of people everywhere. 

Meagan: I love it. 

Julie: We don’t have a Review of the Week so I just made one up. Boom. There. Signed, Anonymous

Meagan: All right, you guys. Failure to progress: what it is and what it isn’t. Let’s talk about what it is. What does it mean? Essentially, it means that your provider believes that your cervix did not progress in an adequate amount of time and there’s also failure to progress as in your body may have gone into or you are going in for an induction and then they couldn’t even get labor going which we all know is usually not the case that your body really couldn’t do it, but failure to progress is when your cervix does not continually dilate in an adequate amount of time. 

Would you change anything about that, Julie, or add anything to that? 

Julie: Sorry, I didn’t hear half of that. I was just going through it. I was going through the things just to make sure that we are 100% accurate on what we are about to say. Whatever you said, yeah. That sounds great. Yeah. Let’s go with it. 

Meagan: Failure to progress– the cervix is not dilating in an adequate amount of time. 

Julie: Basically, yeah. Your cervix isn’t changing so you’ve got to do a C-section because it’s not working basically. 

Meagan: Okay, so what it isn’t– do you want to talk about what it isn’t? 

Julie: What it isn’t? It isn’t– sorry, I’m trying to say it. 

Meagan: It isn’t true most of the time. 

Julie: Most of the time it’s not true. It isn’t what we think it is and if it is, it’s not a sign that your body is broken. It’s not exclusion. It’s not a reason to exclude you from trying for a VBAC. It’s not your fault. It usually is a failure from the system where people are in a rush or in a hurry and just not knowing how to move past a stall in labor or not understanding the true flow of how some labors take. 

I mean, I was diagnosed with failure to progress. You were diagnosed with failure to progress and I know that both of our literal clinical outlook at the time we were diagnosed with failure to progress was not true failure to progress. 

Meagan: Mhmm. 

Julie: According to what the actual guidelines and requirements are. So I always say, yeah. What you said, it is not true. 

Meagan: It is not true.

Julie: We joke about that and use it loosely. Sometimes it is true. I’ve seen one true failure to progress diagnosis in over 100 births, but I feel like most of us listening and most of us who have C-sections have them because of failure to progress. 

Now, mine when I was in labor, I was not told failure to progress. I was told fetal heart tones, but that’s another topic for another episode– what we are told versus what is in our op reports. So yeah, let’s do a little plug-in about getting your op report. Find out what is actually in the notes that say why your C-section was called because it’s not uncommon for what it was written down to be different than what you were told in the moment. 

I feel like having an accurate clinical understanding of what your Cesarean looks like on paper to another doctor who is reviewing your birth is super important. 

Meagan: Absolutely. I agree and also, I think that it’s important to note that if you have been told this and you have doubt in your body, that it is normal to have doubt because we have been told that we can’t do something and that our body can’t dilate, but I also want to plug-in that really try not to believe that. Try your hardest. Do whatever you can to not believe that. It’s going to help you. Believe the opposite. Believe that your body can do it. Believe that you were most likely set up in a less-ideal circumstance that created that result, right? 

Like an induction– it was a failure to descend, not progress, but I just recorded a story the other day where her water was broken at 6 centimeters, baby came down wonky. They couldn’t get baby out and they diagnosed her with CPD. There are these things that are happening a lot of the time where we are walking in to be induced way too early or really any time we are being induced could be too early especially if it’s just an elective. It can definitely be too early and our body is not ready so our body is not responding or our body is overwhelmed because it’s been given so much so fast and it doesn’t know what to do so it doesn’t react the way a provider wants it to by our cervix dilating. 

It almost is reacting in the reverse way where it’s tense and tight and like, No. I’m not ready and I’m not letting this baby out. Don’t you feel like you’ve seen that? 

Julie: Yeah. We’ve seen lots of things. I feel like that’s the tricky thing. We as doulas and birth photographers really do get to see the whole gamut of everything from home to birth center to hospital and everything. I feel like we have such a unique perspective on how labor is managed in and out of hospitals and how stalls or lulls in labor are managed in both places. 

Let me tell you, it’s often way smoother and in my opinion way better outcomes when you are out of the hospital and that happens. 

Meagan: Mhmm. Labor at home as long as you can. Yeah. I mean, one of the stories that I just recorded was an accidental home birth. It was not her plan, not even close, and it will for sure come across that way when she is telling the story, but there were so many things that she did within that labor like movement from the shower to the toilet to walking down the stairs to moving back to the toilet. There was all of this movement that sometimes doesn’t happen in a hospital or we’ve got, like I said, “Let’s break your water. Let’s do these things.” We’ve got these interventions that may help, but doesn’t always. 

It may also cause problems. 

Okay, so we have some updates for you on the safe prevention of a primary Cesarean delivery that Julie has found and then we also want to talk about what is adequate labor too? What does that mean and where do we decide or where does a provider decide if labor is not adequate? 

Julie, do you want to talk about this for a minute on what you found from the OB/GYN Project? 

Julie: That’s just a really nice summary. I really like it because it is all laid out really nicely. I am seeking out different pieces of information because there is updated information so I’m just looking for that. I’m not quite 100% certain I can speak to when it came out. 

Evidence-Based Birth has some great information. They did a podcast episode on the Friedman’s curve. We know that dilating 1 centimeter an hour is based on the study that Friedman did. That’s incredibly flawed but there is new updated, more evidence-based information that has come out. I’m trying to find out when it came out actually because the Friedman curve was established I think in 1956 and let’s see. 

In the 2010’s there were big shifts in the evidence. In 2014, ACOG had a study. Maternal Fetal Medicine published new guidelines on labor progress. Okay, so 2014 it looks like which is actually not that new anymore because it’s 10 years later. That was, I think– I don’t think it’s actually shifted that much at all. I’m just trying to figure that out right now. I’m sorry. Let’s see. 

The Practice Bulletin– yeah. You go. Safe Prevention of the Primary Cesarean Delivery. 

Meagan: I think we are looking at approaches to limit interventions during labor and birth, but we know that a lot of the time when we are introducing interventions, that is where we often will receive a failure to progress diagnosis because we are really introducing things, like I said earlier, when the body is not quite ready or the baby is not quite ready. Maybe the baby was already too high and was trying to make their way around and into the pelvis but now we’ve got an asynclitic baby or a transverse baby or an OP baby.

This one, Number 766 which we will have in today’s show notes actually originally replaced the committee of 687 in February 2017. The 766 was in 2019 and reaffirmed in 2021. Something that I like that it goes through is recommendations for women who are at term and spontaneous labor it happening. It talks about admission upon labor. It talks about premature rupture of membrane or rupturing of membranes which I think is a big one. 

Really, through my own experience but also doula experience, I’ve seen so many people go through membrane rupturing whether artificially or spontaneously and then nothing is happening so we go in and we get induced. Or we are told the second our water breaks that we have to go in, then labor has not started yet so we are intervening. 

One of the things it says is, “When membranes rupture at term before the onset of labor, approximately 77-79% of women will go into labor spontaneously within 12 hours. 95% will start labor within 24-28 hours.” I just had this experience with a VBAC client just the other day. Her water broke and within about 9 hours, she was starting to contract and within less than that, she actually progressed really quickly. Baby was born. 

That was really great but then there are situations like myself where it takes forever for labor to even start. It took 18 hours for my very first contraction with my second baby to even start and then by 24-28 hours, I was in a repeat C-section because my body didn’t progress fast enough according to my provider.

It says that, “The median time to delivery for women managed expectantly is 33 hours and 95% had delivered by 94-107 hours after rupture of membranes.” I think that is something also really important to note that if your water breaks, it doesn’t mean we’re just having a baby right away. It doesn’t mean that our body is failing because we haven’t started labor. 94-107 hours after the rupture of membranes is when the baby had been born. That’s some time. We need to allow for the time. 

Julie: That’s why I hate it when hospitals say, “If your water breaks, come in right now.” No. 

Meagan: I know. My provider did that too because it makes sense in our heads. They’re saying, “Oh, just come in because we have to monitor baby because of infection and all of this stuff.” But we also have to take a step back and realize that once we go into that environment, one, that’s a new environment. We’re not familiar with that. All of those germs in that environment, we’re not accustomed to. We’re not immune to them. 

And then two, we know that the second we go into labor and delivery units, what happens? They want to check our cervix which means–

Julie: Bacteria. 

Meagan: There is bacteria that is possibly being exposed to the vaginal canal, right? Even if it’s a sterile glove, that still raises chances. 

Julie: Yeah, sterile gloves really are not as sterile as people think. 

Meagan: There are these things to keep in mind, but it’s so hard because for me, I had premature rupture of membranes. My body didn’t start labor, but I was told failure to progress after 12 hours for only reaching 3 centimeters. I was told failure to progress. 

I just really liked that. I mean, I like a whole bunch of this but I really liked that part of the rupture of membranes because I think so often we are told, “Oh, your water is broken. You’re not progressing. You are a failure to progress.” 

Or we are not progressing so we have to break our water to try and speed our labor up and then that doesn’t happen and then we are failure to progress. Can you see the problem here? 

Julie: Total problem. 

Meagan: It’s a problem. 

Julie: It is a problem. So many problems. It’s fine. I just dropped two different links to the updated guidelines because it’s really funny. I’ve been going down the rabbit hole now while you’ve been talking so if I’m repeating things like I tend to do on you sometimes, please forgive me. I just think it’s interesting. There is starting to be a shift in pulling away from Friedman’s curve and going into a different way to consider an actual progression of labor which is a really cool, nice little shifty-shift here. 

I feel like maybe let’s talk about what failure to progress really is. What are the guidelines for it? What is real failure to progress versus what you’ve probably been told about it? First of all, let’s just talk about– nothing. 

Meagan: Can we use my own birth example just as a starting point to what this evidence is showing us or what the guidelines are? My water had broken spontaneously. It took a little bit to start labor. Within 12 hours, I was 3 centimeters and was told that my pelvis was too small and that I was failure to progress. 

Water broken, I was 3 centimeters 12 hours into labor. all right, Julie. What am I? Am I real, true failure to progress or not? 

Julie: No, you’re not. Absolutely not, are you kidding me? Because you were still in the first stage of labor. That is the number one thing. According to clinical guidelines, it is not failure to progress until you’re in the second stage of labor which is at least 6 centimeters dilated. So guess what, friends? If you got called failure to progress before you were 6 centimeters dilated– mine was labeled failure to progress at 4 centimeters so that rules me out. I mean, there are lots of things that rule me out and Meagan. 

But if you are less than 6 centimeters, it is not failure to progress. 

Meagan: Yeah, it even says right here. “Active phase arrest is defined as a woman at or beyond 6 centimeters dilation with ruptured of membranes who fails to progress despite 4 hours of adequate uterine activity or at least 6 hours of oxytocin administration with an adequate uterine activity and no cervical change.” Can we talk about that too? Adequate uterine activity. 

You guys, at 3 centimeters with my water broken, I was still not in an active pattern to progress. It takes time. Our uterus doesn’t just start contracting regularly and adequately. It takes time. Then at that, I was only on oxytocin for 2 hours. 

Julie: Pitocin. You were on Pitocin. 

Meagan: Sorry. That’s what I meant. Pitocin. I’m looking at the word oxytocin administration. Pitocin. 

Julie: We all know the truth. 

Meagan: We all know that Pitocin is not oxytocin. 

Julie: That is a soapbox for another day. 

Meagan: I was only on Pitocin for 2 hours. 2 hours. At the top, it says, “Slow but progressive labor in the first stage of labor should not be an indication for a Cesarean. With a few exceptions, prolonged late phase greater than 20 hours in a first-time mother and greater than 14 hours in a multi (so a mom who is not a first-time mom) should not be an indication for Cesarean as long. As the mother and the baby are doing well, cervical dilation of 6 centimeters should be the threshold of an active phase of labor.”

Julie: Exactly. That’s it too. Later on after this, we’re going to talk about all the different ways a cervix can change because can I just tell you what? Someone says, “I’m 5 centimeters. I’m still 5 centimeters, great. Cool. What else has your cervix been doing? We’re going to talk about that in just a second.” 

But yes, that’s the thing. It’s not failure to progress before 6 centimeters. It has to be 4 hours of adequate uterine activity which means strong, consistent contractions. Contractions that are strong enough. We could talk about the Montevideo units which is another measurement of the strength of contractions. We’re not going to talk about that because we just don’t have time, but are your uterine contractions strong enough? Yes? Then it’s got to be at least 4 hours without cervical change. No? Then great. Let’s do Pitocin and the inadequate amount of uterine activity. It says 6 hours or more of Pitocin without adequate uterine activity. 

If you’ve been on Pitocin for 6 hours and your contractions– which has caused that adequate contractions– and there is still no cervical change, then you are failure to progress 

Let’s talk about cervical change though because the cervix goes through so many things. When I was doula-ing, I talked about this a lot in our second prenatal visit about how a lot of times you’ll be like, Oh, cervical change. Yeah, dilation. Am I 4, 5, 6, 7, 8? But listen. The cervix goes through changes in 6 different ways. It moves forward so from posterior pointing backward toward to your spine. It straightens out to a more downward position. 

It softens so it goes from hard like your forehead to hard like your nose to softer like your chin. It softens. It effaces which means it thins out so it starts thick. It thins out which is effacement. It dilates obviously which is the opening and then baby’s station like where baby is in the pelvis. Baby drops down, rotates, and descends. If you were 3 centimeters at your last cervical check and 60% effaced and 2 hours later at your next cervical check, you are 3 centimeters and 80% effaced, your cervix has thinned by 20% which is a good amount of cervical change. 

Meagan: Good change, yeah. 

Julie: If you were 6 centimeters and your baby was at a -2 station and at your next cervical check, you are 6 centimeters and your baby is -1 station which means your baby is lower in the pelvis, that is a cervical change. All of these things are shifting so I feel like it’s important that when we are talking about failure to progress or when we are talking about labor progress that we consider all of the things the cervix does.

I was just at a birth yesterday– not yesterday, two days ago. I don’t know. It was all night and it was long for me. All night is long. It doesn’t matter if i was there for 6 hours or 20 hours. If it was all night, I’m going to call it long as I’m getting older. 

The client was still 4-5 centimeters but the cervix was a lot softer or stretchier I think at the one before this. Oh yeah, your cervix is super stretchy now. Those are all great cervical changes even though the dilation number hasn’t changed. 

Meagan: Yeah, so coming forward, thinning out, really softening up, baby dropping– all of these things are signs of progression and so it’s something to keep in mind if a provider is like, “Well, you’ve been sitting at 6.5 centimeters now for 9 hours,” or whatever, but at the same time, your cervix went from 40% to 80% thinned and it went from super posterior to more mid-line and baby went from -3 to a 0. These are changes. These are absolutely changes and there are so many things that go into that. If a baby is high and not well-applied because they are trying to work their way down to the pelvis and our cervix is working on coming forward, there is so much that goes into that where now we’re going to have a baby. 

If that change was made, now maybe we can have a baby that was well-applied to the cervix creating good pressure. Uterine activity is getting stronger. Things are progressing in the right way.

So in the ACOG thing, it does say that in contrast to the prior suggested threshold of 4 centimeters which we know is very outdated, the onset of active labor–

Julie: Right, that was according to the Friedman’s curve. Friedman’s curve called active labor at 4 centimeters but now we are getting all of this new information that yeah, it’s probably at 6. I feel like when you and me started as doulas 9-10 years ago, it was 4 centimeters, but a couple years after that, everything started shifting into 6. So it’s actually not that new, but kind of new. Sorry, keep going. 

Meagan: Yeah. I want to get into our positions really quickly, but it does say even in here, the onset of labor for many women may not occur until 5-6 centimeters. May not occur until then and then we know that sometimes around 6 centimeters, it takes some time. We’re going to make sure all of these links here are in the show notes so you can check it out. 

Meagan: But we only have a few minutes left so I really want to talk about positions, okay? So positions in my opinion can truly change failure to progress. 

Julie: Yes. If there is a lull in labor, they’re getting close to calling a C-section, what can we do about that? Nobody wants to hang out at 4 centimeters forever. Nobody does so what can we do about that? Yes, Meagan? Sorry, go ahead. 

Meagan: Movement. If you do not have an epidural, obviously movement is a lot more free. Moving around, just walking. Just flat-out walking. If we’ve got a higher baby and we’re trying to get a baby down, really think about that femur rotation turning out. You can walk and sometimes I’ve had my clients do this little step dance thing where you step really wide and out and then left and right and left and right. We are doing this weird-looking dance thing, but you’re grooving. 

Julie: You’re grooving. 

Meagan: That can really help. Or thinking about really big asymmetrical movements so put your leg up on the bed or on a stool or on a whatever and leaning over. Bigger movements and outward movements. If you have an epidural at this point, same thing. Rotate on your side and really open those knees up really, really wide. Try to keep those movements consistent. 

If you’re exhausted and you have an epidural because you need sleep, I really, really believe in sleep and I think it’s very powerful. Find a good position. Sleep in that position and when you wake up, get going. Get active. But every 5 or so contractions, if you can, if not, make it 8, make some changes. It doesn’t have to be too dramatic. It sounds weird, but if you are at home, crawling up your stairs. Crawling up your stairs on your hands and knees is weird but it works or standing up and down going from the side– one side going down, standing back up, turning and walking back up, turning around, doing the other side down and coming back up. Those things are going to help. 

Doing big figure 8’s or hip dips. As the baby gets lower, all of those things are really still important. We are going to be less focused on big open wide because now we’re going to want to get baby in and then down. So if you think about a pelvis, when the femur rotation goes out, the bottom goes in. Femur rotation in, bottom goes out. Thinking about these movements as you’re laboring and as you’re working through these things, as you’re in these positions. Think about our hips, our pelvis, and even doing some cat-cows in labor is really good. 

We know there is the flying cowgirl. That is a really good one in labor too to get baby down and in. 

Julie: Walcher’s. 

Meagan: Walcher’s is not as fun, but it can be very good. 

Julie: It is magical. I’ve seen it push labor through so well. I had a doctor once at the U come in. I had a client who was 5 centimeters. Baby wasn’t looking too great. She had been 5 centimeters for a while and we were doing Walcher’s. They came in because the heart rate– Walcher’s sometimes makes it hard to get a fetal heart rate so the nurses come in. They were talking about C-section and they were prepping, bringing in all of the C-section stuff for her partner to get ready. 

They were like, “You can’t do this. Baby’s heart rate is not tolerating it.” I’m like, “No. It’s just not picking up the heart rate.” I’m like, “Okay, just one more contraction.” One more contraction later, she comes up and starts pushing 2 minutes later and her baby is born. the doctors are freaking out because, “Oh my gosh, the bed’s not designed to labor like this.” Not everyone, sorry, but those are a little couple of pushbacks I’ve gotten sometimes. 

Meagan: It’s weird-looking. It’s funky. It’s uncomfortable. 

Julie: Yeah. It’s curious and some staff at hospitals do not– if they see something new and they don’t know about it, they automatically assume it’s not good because they need to keep everything in line and to the protocol and all of those things. But yeah, it’s just really a magical thing. 

Meagan: There’s also the abdominal lift. You can abdominal lift. I think actively moving through the contraction which can get really hard in that active phase, but through the contraction can actually help. Hands and knees, sacrum, and all of those things. Holy cow, there are so many positions. 

Julie: Yeah, can I just touch back? When you said about the epidural, I love when you’re not resting, I think sometimes it’s easy to get discouraged if you want an epidural but you also want to move during labor. I want to expound on that a little bit because you can move with an epidural still and here’s how you do it. My favorite labor position with an epidural is sitting up in the throne. You lay the head of the bed all the way up, drop the feet down, then you crisscross your legs. Put the peanut ball under your right leg. Five contractions later, peanut ball under your left leg. Five contractions later, criss-cross your legs again or stretch them out straight and then repeat. 

Do you know what? There are so many magical ways that that helps. It keeps your pelvis moving and shifting and growing. I swear that is the most magical position for laboring with an epidural because you are upright. Baby is going to move down. The pelvis is moving and shifting so it creates lots of movement and space and I have seen that progress labors relatively quickly to how they have been going before we set up the throne so many times. I love that. I will swear. I will die on that hill. If you are failure to progress and things aren’t moving, sit up, drop your legs, get the peanut ball. It doesn’t even have to be the peanut ball. Maybe you don’t have one in your hospital but stack a couple of pillows but put one leg up. Put your foot flat on the bed so your knee is making a triangle. I don’t know how to describe it the right way and then drop it and put the other leg up and then criss-cross your legs then stick them out straight like two little sticks. 

Meagan: Every five. Every five, have subtle changes. Every five, subtle changes. Keep that in mind when you are laboring. 

Women of Strength, know that failure to progress is rarely truly failure to progress. We get it. We’ve been told the same thing. We see it all of the time as doulas. There’s more. There’s more and don’t feel like you have to say, “Okay” to a Cesarean if your cervix hasn’t dilated to a certain amount that the provider is wanting. Assuming you and baby are doing well, you can always ask for more time. 

Okay, we are on a soapbox. We could probably continue for a whole while longer, but Julie, thank you for joining me today and talking about failure to progress and what it is and what it isn’t. 

Julie: You’re welcome. 

Closing

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