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Could your kindness be putting you in danger? This eye-opening conversation with Laura Frombach and Joy Farrow reveals how predators don't actually look for weakness—they deliberately target kindness, empathy, and accommodation.
In this episode, Laura Frombach shares her powerful personal story of growing up with generational domestic violence, watching her once very kind mother transform under years of abuse and coercive control. Her journey to understanding took 50 years, ultimately revealing that domestic violence doesn't just harm the victim physically—it fundamentally alters their psychology, creating a cage they cannot escape. Laura's technological background offers a fresh lens: women's safety intuition is hardware, but society installs politeness "software" that teaches us to override our natural protective instincts.
Joy Farrow, drawing from her 28 years as a deputy sheriff, provides chilling examples of notorious predators who expertly hid behind respectable facades. From Larry Nassar to Ted Bundy, these individuals specifically targeted women who were empathetic, trusting, and unlikely to establish firm boundaries. This counterintuitive understanding challenges everything we thought we knew about victimhood.
The conversation delivers practical "software updates" for women: speaking instincts aloud, rehearsing boundary-setting like CPR, making politeness optional rather than default, and surrounding yourself with boundary-respecting women. Most importantly, they help listeners recognize "fawning"—being nice out of fear—as a trauma response that keeps women vulnerable to manipulation.
Whether you've experienced domestic violence firsthand or simply want to better protect yourself and loved ones, this conversation offers transformative insights about reclaiming your instincts and establishing boundaries without apology. Your kindness is a strength—but only when paired with clear boundaries that keep you safe.
By Genesis Women's Shelter & Support5
1414 ratings
Could your kindness be putting you in danger? This eye-opening conversation with Laura Frombach and Joy Farrow reveals how predators don't actually look for weakness—they deliberately target kindness, empathy, and accommodation.
In this episode, Laura Frombach shares her powerful personal story of growing up with generational domestic violence, watching her once very kind mother transform under years of abuse and coercive control. Her journey to understanding took 50 years, ultimately revealing that domestic violence doesn't just harm the victim physically—it fundamentally alters their psychology, creating a cage they cannot escape. Laura's technological background offers a fresh lens: women's safety intuition is hardware, but society installs politeness "software" that teaches us to override our natural protective instincts.
Joy Farrow, drawing from her 28 years as a deputy sheriff, provides chilling examples of notorious predators who expertly hid behind respectable facades. From Larry Nassar to Ted Bundy, these individuals specifically targeted women who were empathetic, trusting, and unlikely to establish firm boundaries. This counterintuitive understanding challenges everything we thought we knew about victimhood.
The conversation delivers practical "software updates" for women: speaking instincts aloud, rehearsing boundary-setting like CPR, making politeness optional rather than default, and surrounding yourself with boundary-respecting women. Most importantly, they help listeners recognize "fawning"—being nice out of fear—as a trauma response that keeps women vulnerable to manipulation.
Whether you've experienced domestic violence firsthand or simply want to better protect yourself and loved ones, this conversation offers transformative insights about reclaiming your instincts and establishing boundaries without apology. Your kindness is a strength—but only when paired with clear boundaries that keep you safe.

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